Hey Pandas, What’s Your Favorite Excerpt From The Book You’ve Written? (Closed)

I hope I spelled that right, but anyways! Your favorite quote or paragraph or really anything from your book. I'd love to hear it!

This post may include affiliate links.

Don't know if poetry counts...... But this is all that remains of an anthology manuscript I burnt in 1988....
" Guide me forth
unto the edge of darkness,
And we my hide,
The light of day....
Find me a place on,
That darkened shore,
Where we might hide,
Forevermore ........"
( probably explains why that's all that remains!)

Report

Final score:

3points

K- THULU

POST

Red Panda 1 year ago

That’s really good!

2points

I woke up to the scent of disinfectant in the room and the sensation that something was burning me alive. Blinding pain. That’s all I feel. So this is what I get from accepting the offer

Report

Final score:

2points

Izzi C

POST

A goblin a goblin
named Golly The Mean
was certainly sure
he couldn’t be seen
Golly would hide
things out of sight
he did this in darkness
in the depth of the night

Look closely look closely
Gollys not very wise
spot all the lost items
you just need your eyes
Golly is naughty
but not very smart
let’s turn the page over
The searching will start

My keys, my keys.
I can not see
I’m late for a friend
who’s waiting for me
Golly then watched
from not very far
can you find the keys
for Grandad’s blue car

Having ADHD and being extremely forgetful. My parents would make light of the situation and tell me a house goblin had stolen my stuff.
I bought him to life with hopes to make a children's “look and find” illustrated book.

Report

Final score:

2points

Victoria Jones

POST

#1
"The sky is gorgeous from up here, a clear blue, striped with violet and orange and rose as the sun hits the horizon, illuminating the outlines of the mountains on the other side of the Ring with a dark indigo that's almost indistinguishable from black."

It may be obvious that I enjoy describing pretty things. Have this entire paragraph dedicated to saying that sunsets are cool.
(The Ring is a mountain range in my fantasy world, just to be clear)

#2
"Eris laughs. "What's life without a little fun? I'd risk the scandal."
I don't really have any response to that, so I shrug. "Lead the way. If you get arrested, I'm not going to get you out."
They stand up and grin. "If I get arrested, I'm going to say that it was your idea."
They start to make their way up the old, creaky stairs and I follow them a second after. "If you get arrested, I'm going to tell them that you were planning to commit serial murder."
They smile. "With what weapon? My charm and good looks?"
I bite back a laugh. "That and the gun that I would plant in your horse's saddlebags."
"The gun that you would get where?" They reach the top of the stairs and wait for me.
"How do you know I don't already have it? I tend to prepare myself for things like this, after all."
"You don't know how to shoot a gun, Rez. It doesn't seem very prepared of you to stock yourself a weapon that you don't know how to use."
They're right, but I don't dignify them with a response."

I'm pretty fond of this for whatever reason. Erez ftw

If you have constructive criticism on either one, I'd love to hear it! Keep in mind that this is a first draft, though

Report

Final score:

1point

crowspectre (half banned rn)

POST

Tiramisu 1 year ago

For the second excerpt, I think it might be better to write in the past tense instead of present. Present feels like the details and interpretation is being forced onto the reader, rather than that character’s pov as they recount the story to the reader.

-1point

Doing this off memory because my docs are on another device I can’t get to rn. But I think about it... a lot.. :: So she just sat there, on her knees, holding the knife. Her face expressionless, but if you looked closer there was perhaps... fear, in her eyes. She heard footsteps rushing across the castle in the distance, and then a sudden shout - “The Princess!!.” She felt her heart sink. Why were they worried about her- a thud sounded outside her door. She jumped. Then there was a knock. Three of them, the last one hesitant. December climbed out of bed, and with her knife at the ready, opened the door. The first thing she noticed was Anwir. Secondly, his sword. Rather than at the ready, it hung lumpy from his hand. And it was covered in blood. She followed the trail with her eyes. “Don’t.., don’t look.” There was something.. broken in his voice. Broken for what, she did not know. At the end of the trail, lay a body. A man, dressed in black. The man too, held a knife, and his was stained with some poor souls blood. There was a clatter as Anwir’s sword fell to the ground, and he carefully, almost hesitantly, pulled her into a hug. “Are you okay?” December didn’t answer for a moment. Just stared at the body. That was bad. But what was worse... Anwir was hugging her. Touching, her. He would’ve never dared do something like that unless something horrible had happened. Slowly, and lay her head against his shoulder, and answered the only way she knew how. “Yeah..”

Report

Final score:

1point

An Unpopular Opinion.

POST

An Unpopular Opinion. (Submission author) 1 year ago

Yeeee, it's a lot better when you read it in the doc. For context, December is a princess, and awoke to screaming. Her parents were killed that night, and she was about to be next. Anwir is her fathers best guard, and the man she loves. This is when they were younger.. they've got problems now, all a result of December showing little to no emotion as she was taught in an act to stay perfect

1point

Can't remember the exact wording, but it was something like, "His teacher taught him that everyone had good ideas, but the best writers knew how to recognize them."

Report

Final score:

1point

Mome Rath (she/her)

POST

The one I want to do is too long, but here are two others I like.

“There is something I have learned throughout this journey with you. I have come to realize that there are no special requirements, actions, or obligations to ‘be in love’ with somebody. You don’t have to be around them all the time. You are allowed to be unhappy with them, angry at them, disappointed in them. What really matters is what happens afterward. You make up. You forgive. And you still love the other person. Being in love with someone, when you break it down to the simple things, is really going through life with your best friend. You are living your life with someone you love and you cherish. In the end, it is not an elaborate dance with complicated moves and choreographed steps. It is a simple dance that is different between every couple. It is okay if you stumble, trip, and sometimes look like an absolute idiot or train wreck, because that is life. Get off the idea that our relationship has to look perfect to the world because this relationship only concerns us. Forget the world, because right now all that matters is me and you, living our lives together and enjoying every moment of it.”

And also...

I want to leap, but I'm scared of the fall.
Because I don't know if there's anyone there to catch me.

Report

Final score:

1point