Hey Pandas, What’s Your Best Dark Joke? (Closed)

We all need dark humor at some point in life.

This post may include affiliate links.

Why can't orphans play baseball?
Cause they don't know where home is.

Report

Final score:

11points

QueenEevee

POST

Yoloplay3r 3 years ago

Oh my god

3points

View more comments

Before my grandpa died I remember his last words...watch how far I can kick this bucket hehe

Report

Final score:

8points

GaeFrog

POST

a cople:

1. experience
"dad, why is my name experience?"
"experience is just the name we give oour mistakes"

2. stalker
"what do you do in your free time?"
" i stalk"
"really? i enjoy ice cream, hanging out at the park and going to movies with friends."
"i know."

3. jimmy
where did little jimmy go after getting lost in a mine field?
a: everywhere.

4. baby, oh no.
q: whats the difference between a baby and a potato?
a: about 140 calories.

let me know if you want me to post more by:
1. liking
2. commenting

Report

Final score:

7points

clown.juice_

POST

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

lol these are good!!!

3points

View more comments

(1) I heard someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.... Poor guy!
(2)I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
(3) I remember my grandpa's last words before he died... " Are you still holding the ladder? "
(4) I read a book about an immortal dog... It was impossible to put down!
(5) Never breaks somebody's heart, they only have one of them! Break their bones, because they have 206 of them!

Report

Final score:

5points

Kirbi

POST

Yoloplay3r 3 years ago

Everyone is looking at me cause i just laughed at these lol

6points

View More Replies...

View more comments

you don't need a parachute to skydive
You need a parachute to skydive twice

Report

Final score:

4points

GalaxyGriffin

POST

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

lol

3points

View More Replies...

View more comments

1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
2. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow
3. I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
4. My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Report

Final score:

4points

TinyFlame

POST

Callista pierce 3 years ago

am i bad for laughing?

3points

View More Replies...

View more comments

Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? Because there was a face off in the corner.

Report

Final score:

3points

SCP-096

POST

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

lol that's cool

1point

View More Replies...

View more comments

why can't Sally play on the swings?
she has no arms, knock knock.
Not Sally.

Report

Final score:

3points

Sure, Sher

POST

Chloe Patterson 3 years ago

Lol

1point

View more comments

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Why did the chicken die? She didn't look both ways before crossing the road.

Report

Final score:

3points

Pusheen

POST

Anthony Goldstein (female) 3 years ago

why did the chicken cross the road? she was going to kfc.

0points

#10

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

(I don't have a wife... im Middle school)

Report

Final score:

2points