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Hey Pandas, What’s The Most Painful Experience You’ve Had As A Woman?
I’ve experienced some pretty painful things as a young woman. While most people are educated on how to treat women, there are still those who aren’t—and they seem to be getting worse, which you can often sense from a mile away. Ladies, let’s share our experiences with weird or creepy men to help other women and young women feel less alone.
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#1
I was sexually assaulted. Twice. I was 12 the first time.
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#2
I had a gastro doctor asking me to see my boobs after a plastic surgery I had recently had. I thought it was ok as he not only was a doctor but also, he was the physician who cared for my dad’s health issues. He took my boobs on his hands and kissed both my nipples. I froze in shock, I was 24 and I did nothing. I left his office and told nobody. When I told my parents that I wanted to see another physician, they demanded to know why and I told them. My mother’s first reaction was to ask me what I had done to make him do that… that happened 35 years ago.
#3
Not even the SA itself, but the shame after. Blamed myself for it. Took me over 10 years to heal and ruined me for relationships.
Socks Thecate 6 days ago
I am glad you are healed and no, it was never ever your fault. Hugs to you!
#4
As a human of the male persuasion, I have no input for this thread. My heart goes out to the women who have shared their experiences
DoubleDoubleTiredAndTuckered (Submission author) 1 week ago (edited)
My mistake, I meant to put this in the comments! Apparently the “Add your Answer” section comes up before the comments.
#5
being raped by someone who called himself my friend, who continued to think we were friends.
#6
I miscarriaged when I was 12 weeks pregnant. The gestational sac was about 4 cm wide, which is the limit from 'natural miscarriage' to 'mandatory surgical procedure'.
It began like heavy period and cramps, as it should be. Then after 2 hours the sac went down and I slept a bit.
I woke up with excruciating cramps, like birth contractions, and I bled, bled nonstop.
We called emergency line and they told us that we were very close to the hospital and to run there.
This part hurt a lot. But it wasn't the worst.
I had already lost nearly a liter of blood, I was shaking uncontrollably, I was thirsty, cold, hot and exhausted.
The ob/gyn told me that there were parts of the gestational sac blocked in my cervix, which led to continuous bleeding and contractions.
She took a small curette (explaining it would hurt like hell) to drag the parts out. It felt like she was ripping me. It was very quick and I stopped bleeding quite immediately. But heck it was horrible. I needed Tramadol for 10 days and it took 4 months to get my iron level OK.
After that I had 2 more miscarriages, one narural(not painful, just heavy period), one with surgery (not painful as well). I now have a little boy.
#7
I joined the less than 2% club. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 49, in 2008. I had a partial mastectomy and radiation. After ten years you are considered cured. In 2018, I was celebrating my ten years when I was diagnosed with a new breast cancer in the other breast. You have a less than 2% chance of developing a second primary breast cancer. I was so angry and depressed. Surgery and radiation again. I am now a high risk patient that has either an MRI or mammogram every six months. But I am very grateful to be alive and to have good healthcare.
Nicky 1 week ago
Hi I had two primary breast cancers in different breasts at the same time and had a double mascetomy and reconstruction. I would HIGHLY recommend a double mascetomy. I had no pain at all and got great looking boobs and am cancer free. I think they should remarket the double mascetomy as a boob job so women think that they are upgrading their breasts instead of having them removed, which sounds terrifying. They save the nipples but just remove what's underneath.
#8
Uterine biopsy - yep, the medial staff ram a medial tool through your cervix (feels like labor) and grab a hunk of uterine lining, cut it out, and pull the back out, again, through my cervix. No anesthesia at all. Can you imagine if a doctor told a man, hey, I'm going to take this medical device and stick it into your penis all the way to your gonads, grab a hunk of tissue then pull it out - with no anesthesia
Socks Thecate 6 days ago
This is a medical scandal that this happens to women. I had to have one and was told to take 800mg ibuprofen beforehand. I screamed and they kind of looked at me as if I was crazy. Nope. YOU are crazy if you think that 800mg Ibuprofen is sufficient for that procedure. Anesthesia is necessary for that.
#9
A Stereotactic Breast Biopsy. Ladies, if you are ever told you need this procedure, read up on it and be prepared for it, it is horrible going in blind like I did the first time! I have had three total, one the first time and two the second time. I will say this, as a woman who has given birth twice, I have NEVER had a more painful procedure done on me!
There is ZERO numbing or pain meds before, during, or after. Sorry, there IS numbing AFTER each time the needle is slammed ever deeper into your breast tissue every thirty seconds! Guess what? It doesn't do a dammed thing for the pain the needle causes AS it's shoved ever farther into your breast. They gave me only an ice pack when I left. I give it a -100/10.
BookFanatic 1 week ago
Been there. My whole boob was purple from bruising the next day. My BF called it my eggplant.
#10
I've probably blocked it out, but ripping a baby loose canine tooth I thought was not attached a nerve ending. At least the pain was swift, but it ended up making me black out.
That was a long time ago.
Labour contractions are up there. I did have an epidural. I was mostly outraged, scared and humiliated.
I would have to say, though, getting an IV by nurses who couldn't find the vein and dragged that b***h inside my hand with no anesthesia. I asked why they couldn't administer anesthesia beforehand. I was told the province cut funding for IV anesthesia. F**k Pallister. I would rather be in labour than go through that again.
#11
I've only started going through the experiences that most women experience in their lifetime. In my town, people are pretty educated and understand how to treat people regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, etc. So that's why the ones who aren't stick out like a sore thumb. Here are all the times I've been cat-called/left the situation feeling weird because I'm a girl.
1) This happened in February, and I was wearing jeans and a crop-top t-shirt. I was walking home from school when out of nowhere, this kid who I went to school with, rolled down the window in his white car, and called out to me and he whistled. Of course, when he called out to me, I looked to see who it was, then he just drove off with his friends. We were both on a public street by the way, so it's not like no one noticed what was going on. But I was alone, so no one was there to stand up for me. I told this to my parents, who tried to be supportive. My mom said, "Let me tell you as a woman, that that kid definetly whistled at you."
2)August this year. I was walking home ALONE again, not wearing a crop-top t-shirt but a v-neck. I was walking near the local pizza shop when I saw these two men who clearly worked there. I didn't know them but they had given me strange vibes earlier. I started to walk near them, remembering the vibes I got and seeing if they'd stare at me again. As I suspected, they did, and because I am a teenager with lots of anxiety, it felt hard to trust my instincts and turn back, but I did it anyway. I'm pretty sure their eyes followed me as I walked back to the crosswalk I was at before to walk across the street. Basically, later, I told my mom and dad, and they said I did the right thing by turning back like that, but those men didn't do anything wrong as it's normal to look at someone as they were crossing nearby!!! WTF??
3) You guessed it-was walking home, ALONE, again, and some construction worker made a weird kissing gesture with his lips at me.
4) This one is the one that appalled me the most, and you'll see why. I was at Chicago O'Hare Airport flying back from my grandpa's funeral, and basically, I had to use the restroom. I saw a gender-neutral bathroom sign behind my family and was like, "Oh, there's a gender-neutral bathroom sign right there. I can just use that one." So I went, and there was this creepy old janitor guy standing there. He was clearly mouthing something to me, but I kept saying, "What? What?" until I leaned in closer and he said something along the lines of, "You could go in there and make some noise. I won't have to tell anyone." with the weirdest a** smirk on his face. Idk to this day what he meant by that, but judging by the context, it was nothing good. Nope, did not feel comfortable there. So I managed to move my a** back to where my family was having breakfast and guess what? Like the incident before, they blamed it on me!!! They said if I hadn't gone there and waited until we were at the gate like they asked, I wouldn't have gone through that. Thank you, Mom and Dad, but ANYONE could've said that to me at ANYTIME.
**BTW, this is all from my best memory.
Stay safe out there, women!!! Guys, don't be jerks!!!
#12
Mine is not as traumatic as some listed here, I am so sorry what you have gone through 😢.
Mine is: I wasn't aware that you can get the "spinal headache" from spinal fluid leaking during an epidural. (1) My epidural didn't fully take and I felt the delivery of my child. (2) after 2 blood patches, I still had the spinal headache (migraine from hell) for over 3 weeks straight.
#13
Wow, my answer is going to be extremely small potatoes after all of these. I had a cyst on my labia that needed to be biopsied. You ever have a needle jabbed in there and wiggled around? I was fifteen and didn't know to ask for numby meds. Then I got scolded for flinching and earned a second needle jab.
#14
Not including emotional pain, the worst physical pain I've ever had was having the drains removed from my chest following a bilateral mastectomy. My tissue had started to form over the drain tubes, anchoring them in place. I was refused any pain meds at all and the nurse, I genuinely believe was a sadist, ripped them out of my chest.
The blood...... My god. The other nurses came running and couldn't believe what they saw. The nurse in question told them I'd been a baby and cried, and it 'couldn't have hurt that much' but the pools of blood from my chest spoke for themselves. I've avoided hospitals ever since!
PS. This was the UK, ten years ago.
#15
Getting an IUD. My uterus is quite small, so even the tiniest model hurt like hell. My partner drove me home but couldn't go faster than 10 mph because every slight bump in the road made me scream. Of course everyone behind us lost their s**t as there clearly couldn't be a reason for someone driving that slow. When it had to be replaced, the small model had been taken off the market. They gave me the now smallest, but it had to be taken out. Was done on Christmas day because I was screaming with pain. At least I had understanding OBGYNs and partners. Men: imagine a skewer inserted into your urethra and then you're made to ride a horse. But it was the only way because I couldn't use the pill and at 18 of course couldn't get a sterilisation. Oh, the law allowed it. The docs were up to it. But they had added a rule to the law that if it wasn't done for strict medical reasons, I could always come back and sew the doctor for it. So, understandably, none would do it. Forced fertility through the back door.
#16
Medically, #1 is a hysterectomy and the recovery time. #2 was an IUD change in 1982. Holy heck!
#17
Late onset endometrial ablation failure. I'd had an ablation in 2016 and everything seemed fine until 2022. I started cramping and it would last 4-6 hours every day. At first it wasn't so bad but after about 3 months the pain was enough to send me to the doctor. For the next 6 months I was told it was just constipation or IBS and no one took me seriously or seemed that concerned despite the pain escalating over those months. The last month for 4-6 hours every single day I could do nothing but curl into the fetal position and scream/cry into my bed. At the end of that month I called 911 on myself twice in 2 days because the pain was absolutely unbearable. I can't even begin to describe the level of burning, ripping pain. It wasn't until that point that the hospital staff decided to run some more thorough tests. Within the span of a week I had a CT scan, ultrasound and an MRI and was FINALLY diagnosed with LOEAF. When I had the ablation, some endometrial tissue had been missed and scar tissue formed over my cervix. Over time I got my uterine lining back and my body was trying to have periods again but because of the scar tissue there was no where for it to go hence the steadily increasing, unbearable pain. I was put on the Lupron Depot shot to basically put me into instant menopause to manage the pain until I could get a hysterectomy. I'm now a year post-hysterotomy (I still have my ovaries) and am so happy I'm now pain free. I hope this story helps anyone else who may be experiencing the same thing. Do not just accept the doctor's advice that it's nothing. I had almost an entire year of my life ruined because I didn't advocate for myself and insist on more testing right away.
#18
Acute pancreatitis. Terrible burning, stabbing pains from my chest into my back that went on for hours. There was no way to get any relief. Ambulance came (UK) & guy dismissed it as 'stomach upset', & left me for 2 more days until I was urgently admitted to hospital.
#19
Having to fight for eight YEARS to get my heavy periods and painful sex fixed. I only went to female doctors feeling saver (been SA’ed by a classmate). Telling my story over and over again: painful sex because the womb had sagged, so much period blood I needed iron pills and even the big night pads would not last an hour. It took a male doctor to finally give me what I wanted: ‘why not take your womb out?’ I cried with joy. Really painful operation aftermath but I am SO happy I did it. They should make this a present for every woman who is done having children imo!
#20
I had an ovarian cyst I didn't know about until it caused ovarian torsion. I got what felt like bad period pain to start with, except my pain is never that bad. Then it just kept getting worse, really sharp throbbing pain. I was driving and stupidly kept going because I thought it wasn't going to get worse, and I was only 20 mins from home. Managed to get home safely somehow and got painkillers and a heat pack, but couldn't move and staying still still hurt. Thank goodness my dad called an ambulance because I probably would have left it longer and lost an ovary. As it was, it was another 8 hours or so before any of the pain meds they tried worked, then I had to stay overnight for surgery the next day. I was given endone/oxycodone to take home after the laparoscopic surgery but didn't take more than a few doses because the pain was nowhere near as bad as prior. The docs were all amazed that I hadn't know I had a cyst until it was as big as it was, but I didn't notice any pain before that (they said it must have been there for months).
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