My nephew was on a nature hike with his mom and us and the guide was pointing out some squirrels and said “See kids! Here are some squirrels! They have TAILS! People don’t have tails but squirrels do!”….. Immediately after which which my nephew loudly and confidently corrected her: MY DADDY HAS A TAIL BUT HIS IS IN THE FRONT!!”

Report

Final score:

9points

Aerial Wombat

POST

Fluffy mommy panda

Fluffy mommy panda

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

We'll he wasn't wrong.....lol

2

2points

reply

Our daughter, age 5, who was making her Batman and Superman figures kiss.

Homophobic FIL: "Why are you doing that? Boys don't kiss."

My daughter: "Yes they do, Papa. You just don't know it because YOU don't have a boyfriend."

Report

Final score:

7points

Lyoness

POST

Puggo

Puggo

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

2 years ago

• Report

👏👏👏

2

2points

reply

View more comments

When one of my brothers was three (approx) my mom saw him throwing a box of toys around the sitting room. Wanting to keep things tidy she was mad and told him to clean it up. He shook his head and she said that if "Dad saw this he'd be very angry". My brother thought about this and eventually said "He'd say 'what the hell'". Wanting to not only keep things tidy but also clean she started scolding him for saying hell. He hung his head in shame and softly said "I'm sorry...Daddy wouldn't say what the hell. He'd say what the f*****g hell!"

Report

Final score:

5points

Full Moon Raccoon

POST

Down With Agent Hedgehog!

Down With Agent Hedgehog!

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

2 years ago

• Report

Yes he would

4

4points

reply

View more comments

My sister ran up to me with my cousin and said "we're gonna play" and I said ok and then she said "ok we're gonna go do it bye bye". I misheard for a minute.

Report

Final score:

4points

rat

POST

I was woken up by my five-year-old cousin Sarah, in the freaking middle of the night when I was in middle school. I was like dude what are you doing here and then she goes in this totally creepy voice, ‘Hello sis. Aren’t raccoons just zombie squirrels?’ I was totally bewildered, but from then on everyone in the family called her the kid who thought raccoons are zombie squirrels.
It sounds kind of boring and funny now, but in the middle of the night it was freaking scary.

Report

Final score:

4points

Down With Agent Hedgehog!

POST

My son upon seeing his sister pee: "How does that butt pee? Does it poop?"

Report

Final score:

4points

Sherry Ofus

POST

I'm not sure if it's funny or sad. Grandkids (4,3 and2) were asking me questions about the pine cones that had fallen into the yard. I explained they were containers for seeds and the various ways the seeds are released to create new pine trees. My 28yo step son, their dad, looks at me and says "Really? My mind is blown". He was serious.

Report

Final score:

3points

A girl

POST

Me: Did you ever put Mercurochrome on our cuts when when we were little?
My Mother: Why? Is it killing people again?

Report

Final score:

3points

Zsa Zsa

POST

Fluffy mommy panda

Fluffy mommy panda

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Is it killing people again........did it once?

1

1point

reply

When my son was about two he was playing in the bathroom. He pulled on his “boy part” and said, “WHOA”

Report

Final score:

3points

Jennifer McClelland

POST

" Dimitri!!!WHY ARE YOU POOPING ON THE FLOOR?!" My mom to my at the time 3 yr old cousin

Report

Final score:

2points

Has sold soul for corn chip

POST

When my twins were little I used to buy from second hand shops to save money. They used to get the words mixed up and say "hand sec shop". (Now say it out loud.)

Report

Final score:

2points

Sue Denham

POST

My cousins and I were talking about something and one said, “Helen Keller, wasn’t that the girl who lived in the attic because of the Nazis?!” She is now a high school English teacher. 🤣😂

Report

Final score:

1point

Bella Dementia

POST

My son (1 year or so) was in the bath messing with his sac and exclaimed, "Mommy there are rocks in here!" Now I know where the expression "got rocks off" came from.

Report

Final score:

1point

The Mom

POST

I fell off my bike and fractured an area near my wrist this summer only for my mother to pick up my helmet and say " You got s**t on while you ate s**t".

Report

Final score:

0points

AveryDancesWithDragons

POST

My grandparents had some of the best that they would use regularly, cracked us all up! My favorite example: "Well, ain't that just slicker than a mole's c**k in a mudslide!" Said by my grandma when I showed her my present on Christmas morning. She was the best!

Report

Final score:

0points

MaryHadaLittleLamb

POST

In an overly dramatic fearful voice: "Just be careful mum, this is hippie territory"

(My mother was going to go to a toilet stall by a remote bushwalking [hiking] track)

Courtesy of my little brother

Report

Final score:

0points

angzarr

POST

One day when my dad was in a bad mood for no reason and my mom wasn't putting up with his BS, he went outside and yelled at the dogs, calling them a bunch of lazy motherf***ers and told them they all needed to get jobs.

Report

Final score:

0points

ButterflyMcQueen

POST

When my family (me my mom and my younger brother) first moved in with my grandmother we lived in a large trailer like thing and one day my mom had just gotten home from work and my younger brother went into the other room to play with toys and came out with a q tip in his hand saying he found an ear twig, we burst out laughing because it was late and we were tired but still it was one of the funniest things I heard at that time

Report

Final score:

0points

Nerdlet

POST

" I'm the greeny man ", now this is nothing funny nor does it make sence lol not in this context at least, só lets start from the beggining, my brother when he was maybe 15/16 created the " greeny man " as a joke, só he would get a shower, get out of the bathroom with a green towel tied to the neck and boxer shorts and started yelling " i'm the greeny man " wille running around the house, One day i was arriving from work and i saw my Mother sweeping the backyard ( now my apartment is bellow the car Park and it hás a " C " yard One door in the kitchen, the other on the other side of the house in the living Room ) só i stopped and started talking to her, soon 2 of out neigbour's join, sudently i hear " I'M THE GREENYMAN " and my brother comes out on underpants and a green towel around his neck like a cape and starts jumping around my Mother, he didn't noticed that there where 3 ppl watching his " display ", when he finaly dos, instead of turning back and getting in from the same door he got out, he paniked and went around the entire apartment in underpants and the towel Cape to get in by the living Room door.

Report

Final score:

-1point

TheAquarius1978

POST