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My own personal favorite is I was trying to explain something in Orchestra class, forgot the term “key signature” and said, “it changes from a 2-3 finger pattern to a 3-4 finger pattern.”
It was very funny. It was also a Monday.
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#1
I was leaving the restaurant that my niece worked in having finished dinner. She walked me to the door, just then the owner walked up and she introduced me to him. After the normal pleasantries, he asked how dinner was…”Delicious was dinner” was my answer. He said “thanks Yoda”.
Final score:
3points
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#2
My friend and I were talking about how time works(like, how does it move? What is it?) and I tried to say “very profound” and it came out as “much wisdom”
I then corrected myself and said “WAIT NO I MEANT MUCH PROFOUNDNESS”
We had a good laugh at that
Final score:
2points
#3
(Got four shots and took headache and pain medicine. I was high I think. Or something.)
Me: Hey Friend how you are today.
Friend: What? Are you okay?
Me: Yo.
Me: I had to much feel better liquid.
Friend: ... Go back to bed.
Final score:
2points
#4
I was talking to a girl in orchestra once and we were talking about our new seats.
I said "I kinda like my new seat because for the last concert I didn't have a music partner. No, partner music. Music stand."
There was a moment of silence and she said "Do you mean stand partner?"
Thank goodness the bell saved me just a second later.
Final score:
2points
Elizabeth VanDyke 2 years ago
Not me, my Dad. We brought home a female dog and Dad said we could not, no way keep her so we kept her. She shortly had a litter of puppies and they had house privileges. One night Dad got up to go to the bathroom and did not turn a light on. Suddenly he let out a howl that could have wakened the dead. Mom asked him what happened and he said , "I s--t and the g-d damn dog stepped in it!"
#5
Not me but my son. When he was three, we were leaving my sister-in-law’s house and he declared; “I’m going to take a little rat nap on our way home, mommy.” It still cracks me up to this day!!
Final score:
2points
#6
I actually got detention over this, because it was “inappropriate and sexual.” I said, “this banana gets big and really comes to you” instead of “this book grows and really attaches to you” Can you guess what they thought I meant? Yeah, I’m not gonna say,
Final score:
1point
Happi doggi (all pronouns) (Submission author) 2 years ago (edited)
For context my English teacher wanted us to explain how the book grows. She’s weird ik but that’s normal English teacher. I also never went to detention because the school counselor was on duty. If you know what she did to me you know why.
#7
phone support situation. Really hectic day. I picked up the phone, whacked myself in the head with the receiver and said "Fiserv, this is A****. Can I help it?"
Final score:
0points
#8
I meant "lapsus" but said "lap dance" while talking about a previous speaking typo I had already made.
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Walking On Sunshine 2 years ago
I use talk to text a lot. And the other day I was making a video for my daughter and after every sentence I spoke I said the word PERIOD. And I did it like three times.
Walking On Sunshine 2 years ago
I use talk to text a lot. And the other day I was making a video for my daughter and after every sentence I spoke I said the word PERIOD. And I did it like three times.
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