Hey Pandas, What’s The Best Lesson You Learned About Life Before Your 20s? (Closed)

As a child and young adult we learn new things every day, but what lesson did you learn when you were young that you often think about because it helped you so well.

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TW: Death - You can lose someone at any time, no matter their age.

There was a little girl that went to my church I had made friends with. I was around five years old and she died. My parents took me to her funeral and said I seemed to understand from then on the fragility of life. They did this not in a mean way, but to help me understand why she would not be around anymore and so I could learn the ritual of grief and saying goodbye. (This was not done in a mean or malicious way, they let me talk about it and answered all my questions about it).

I also went to summer camp as a child with other kids with muscular dystrophy. My disability used to be considered a form of it, however; it is “mild” in comparison and will only slightly affect my lifespan. I am outgoing and made friends with most of the kids each year I went. I would go out of my way to be kind because my first year was so hard as I was only eight and got very homesick. I didn’t want anyone to struggle like that. The sad part was realizing some of my friends were unable to return the next year because they were too sick or had passed away. I have also experienced the loss of friends and family who died by suicide. I have had lots of loss in my life, but these experiences have taught me to say out loud my feelings every day, as you never know when you might not get the chance.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-273-8255 or go to the website for the "National Suicide Prevention Lifeline": http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org because YOU MATTER!!

If you or someone you know has lost a friend or family member to suicide, "the Survivors of Suicide Handbook": http://www.sprc.org/sites/sprc.org/files/library/SOS_handbook.pdf is a great, free resource for support - although it *does NOT take the place of bereavement counseling* or grief support.

TLDR: my experiences with grief have taught me to say out loud my feelings every day, as you never know when you might not get the chance.

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Mommitude Attitude

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Huddo's sister 2 years ago

All very good lessons. The first part, about going to the funeral I think is so important. Two of my brothers had a neuro-muscular disability (like muscular dystrophy too) and I heard from my mum a lot of the kids that went to their special school were not allowed to go to funerals, because their parents didn't want to upset them. I get they can be hard, but they also can help you to process death, rather than bottling it up or trying to forget it. When you have a severe condition I think it is even more important, because you want to understand what would happen when you die. When my older brother died, it was really hard for my youngest brother. He got depressed (even though he was only 2) because he knew he had the same condition and he would die one day, but with support he was able to process things and the rest of his life he fought to hold onto to life as much as he could and have as good a quality of life as he could, which was good for him in the long run.

1point

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I learned that one may fool themselves without ever having the intention to do so. Try to be as honest with yourself as you possibly can, be direct in the way you present things to yourself.

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Titas Burinskas

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Trisha Howson 2 years ago

True

0points

I learned early on that the best person you can depend on is yourself. Even if someone wants to help, they (emotionally or otherwise) might not be in a place to do so. You are your best advocate.

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Bonesko

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Bonesko (Submission author) 2 years ago

That isn't to say that there aren't people that are willing to help and depend on.

2points

That you don't owe anyone a thing, and neither does anyone owe you anything. Some things in life are just given, and it can be taken. You don't owe anything you did not work for, and people don't really have to do anything for you.

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3points

Bobbi Johnson

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Life is not fair. I learned to accept that when I have to and fix it when I can.

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A girl

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To be able to share food with those you love is one of life's greatest joys.

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Has sold soul for corn chip

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‍️Mimi‍️ 2 years ago

Well said 🥰

1point

Most People don’t get better with age. Just because your legally an adult doesn’t mean your character, or mental state matches

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Weridwierdwired

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Trisha Howson 2 years ago

So true.

0points

That sometimes you can't even trust the close people in your life. When I was seventeen and worked, was in highschool would give my dad 45 dollars for gas each week. An some how he would run out of gas. Found out he was using the gas money for what he wanted.
Also wait to get married don't get married young wait to get to know each other more got married at 16 husband was 18. We are still together but we split up for awhile. And it rough on both of us.

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Fluffy mommy panda

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Huddo's sister 2 years ago

I think the problem with marrying young is that as you grow older, your interests and experience change and you don't always change together.

1point

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Beware of temptations.

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Ryan Burns

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#10

Once anyone calls you a liar then just automatically assume they're never going to believe whatever you say - so stop wasting your breath. When someone calls you a liar what they've just told you is that they're going to filter whatever they want the truth to be from what you said. You can try to state you're not lying until your blue in the face and they'll never believe it.

What you were just given was gift. Sure it sounds like an insult but now you know who to look out for and why to look out for them. You don't have to fight them and argue your truth - screw it they call you a liar then fine, then you just do you. Your actions speak louder than you realize and your truth is seen and heard by others. Yeah it hurts, but eventually they'll realize or they won't. You've saved yourself time and energy fighting battles with them. I'm not saying you need to cut them out of your life - what I'm saying is you don't need to invest more of your time and energy into them. Give them the amount you would an acquaintance or low tier friend - then maybe they earn their way back up the ranks when they start realizing you were telling the truth all along.

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Roadkill The Brave

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Roadkill The Brave (Submission author) 2 years ago

I forgot to mention there's a difference between being called a liar and someone saying your lying. Someone saying your lying is saying that specific statement/story is a lie. Someone calling you a liar is saying everything you say is a lie. There's a major difference but someone who comes at you with saying your lying all the time can be treated the same as someone who addresses you as a liar.

1point