Hey Pandas, What’s The Best Dad Joke You’ve Ever Heard? (Closed)

Dad jokes can be cringy and funny, you should tell us some.

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A priest, a usher, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says "I think I'm a typo."

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Final score:

15points

Minecraft_Chicken (He/Chicken)

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Khavrinen 8 months ago

I heard this one as "...walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says 'I think I'm a Type O'."

1point

Listen.... dogs can't run an MRI machine, but catscan

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Final score:

9points

pfeils wife

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Minecraft_Chicken 8 months ago

So can kangaroos, what's your point.

1point

Chicken and frog go to the library, chicken says, “book, book, book “ frog says “ read it, read it, read it “

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Final score:

7points

Peppy

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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

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Final score:

7points

Panda Boi

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Mashmelo 8 months ago

classic

2points

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

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Final score:

7points

Richard Graham

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today I learned that Dove chocolate tastes better than their soap. they must have had an off day

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Final score:

6points

Ikey Solomon

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Minecraft_Chicken 8 months ago

I personally disagree. Dove soap is some of the best candy I have ever had.

1point

When I came out as gay I said “dad I’m gay” and he said “HI GAY I. DAD HAHAHAHA” kill me

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Final score:

5points

slay_potato

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What is a white drunken Chinese Rhinoceros? An albino wino Sino Rhino.

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Final score:

4points

Richard Graham

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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 8 months ago

Similar to What is a dwarf fortune-teller escaping from the police? A small midget at large.

2points

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Did you hear the one about the dyslexic who ran into a bra?

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Final score:

4points

Captain Awesome

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Captain Awesome (Submission author) 8 months ago

I read that in a Readers Digest years ago.

0points

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#10

I didn't know that football players were so intense for 25 cents. I wonder who stole it since the other players kept saying "GET THE QUARTERBACK!"

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Final score:

4points

Minecraft_Chicken (He/Chicken)

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#11

I saw a post where, apparently, a woman gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital. The husband suggested a name and they agreed on it.

The kid's name is Carson.

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Final score:

4points

Epsilon (he/him)

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#12

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him

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Final score:

4points

Cello Pam

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#13

My son asked to me to explain what happens during an eclipse. I said, "no son".

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Final score:

4points

Geoff Pearce

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#14

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Final score:

3points

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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#15

Darth Vader had another daughter. What was her name?

Ella.

Ella Vader.

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Final score:

3points

Ross “Sarcastic Dad”

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Richard Graham 8 months ago

That joke let me down. There was nothing up about it.

5points

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#16

What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta

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Final score:

3points

𝐸𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒽_𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂𝑒𝓇

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#17

I was wondering why the ball got bigger and bigger the closer it got. And then it hit me.

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Final score:

3points

Luis Hernandez Dauajare

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#18

A blind man walks into a bar... and a chair... and a door...

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Final score:

3points

Luis Hernandez Dauajare

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See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#19

Then kid down the street used to build sand castles with his grandpa, but his grandmother took away the urn.

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Final score:

3points

The wee giant

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#20

Y'all had some funny dads. The only jokes I remember r back from when we were poor n he would "joke" abt framing his suicide as an accident so that me, my brother, n disabled mother would get his inheiritance n then like we'd all just not rlly get it bc we were very young then

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Final score:

2points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

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Sue Vicente 8 months ago

Probably it's better that you didn't get it as a little kid.

2points

#21

A rabbi, a muslim and a christian walk into a bar. The bartender says: "is this some kind of joke?"

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Final score:

2points

Luis Hernandez Dauajare

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#22

Dunno if that counts... but i was watching the new Avatar series on netflix with my old man. When Aang called for Appa, and he came from the ice, my father said " So thats the Appatar?"

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Final score:

1point