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What was the hardest decision you had to make in your life?
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#2
Not losing it in the last hours of my husbands life. I wanted him to go in peace.
Final score:
36points
#3
to leave my marriage of 32 years because i still loved my husband but realized that i didn't want to deal with his issues anymore. it was particularly hard because i have a chronic debilitating disabling condition. there were people who thought i was crazy for the decision because they all felt that i "needed" him because of my health issues....how could i live without his support? but, i left and now, 10 yrs later am doing great. i mourned my marriage and it took several years to move to a better place. but, the reality is that while my disability has progressed other areas of my well being have gotten much better. a shout out to my dad who listened to me for five years, basically expressing how i still cared for my husband but knew it was toxic. and to my son who kept his opinions about his dad to himself. looking back, i think my dad and my son's silent support gave me the strength to make a decision was hard but necessary because they believed in my abilities. now, i sometimes wonder why i waited so long to leave and then come to the realization i needed to know i was worth more than what he saw - a person living with a degenerative disease who needed him rather than a person who was surviving a degenerative disease that wanted to continue to share a life. all in all, i think he was the one that developed a disability because he is still trapped by his own issues.
Final score:
26points
#4
Carry on drinking and dying or stop drinking and have a chance of living longer. Every day is a struggle, physically and mentally. Early days, two month’ish sober. Anyway, I can’t die, my wife wouldn’t have a clue how to deal with the finances.
Final score:
24points
#5
Deciding to come out. Also deciding whom to come out to.
Final score:
23points
#6
Divorce. Even though he did not cheat did not hit. People deserve to be happy. Divorce so that you can stop making each other smaller is a hard but good choice.
Final score:
20points
#7
Leaving the Royal Navy, where I was training to be a pilot, because of panic attacks. This was in the early 1960s and I still have anxiety attacks. I had wanted to be a navy pilot since I was five yeas old!
Final score:
19points
#8
To stop being guilty about my cat dying without me being there. It was so hard when he was taken to a hospital and died in my dad's arms while I was at a birthday party. He was there for me every day for 2 years, (he died at 4 because of a urinary problem) and I wasn't there when he needed it the most. It still haunts me everyday, and it happened two years ago.
Final score:
17points
thatonelesbiangorwl 2 years ago
aww hugs for u marcyyy i lost my kitten at 6 months due to a rare disease only two cats in the world had so if its any consilation i probably dont know how ur feeling but i triggered my kittens death with a chip.
#9
To finally leave my husband of 22 years earlier this year. He hid an oxycontin and fentanyl addiction for 2 years. He eventually moved onto cocaine because, "Cocaine is better than oxy and fentanyl, it's not a real drug" He was selling coke, pills, and weed, shrooms and whatever else he could get his hands on and wouldn't get a real job. I walked out the door when he said he had no desire to stop using and get a job. He used to never use drugs and just five years ago made 6 figures. He chose to be a 43 year old junkie over his wife and best friend. I miss him every day but I have a new life and I'm happy.
Final score:
16points
MarcyParlomerNerdGirlsRock 2 years ago
That sounded traumatizing… hope you are doing great now :)
#10
My PTSD led to depression and suicidal thoughts, glad i didn't kill myself though
Final score:
15points
Yunjin A.K.A Panicattack queen (Submission author) 2 years ago
oh thank you
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#11
To not reveal my intelligence.
Final score:
13points
OneLoneWolf 2 years ago
i understand becuz i always felt left out becuz i was smarter than others.
#12
Letting my daughter walk away after her husband made her chose between him or me. She chose him because she never wanted to get divorced (like me). That was 15 years ago. Unfortunately, I recently found out that he cheated on her and they are getting divorced. I am hoping that she knocks on my door as I would never force myself on her.
Final score:
13points
Vixxxen Foxxx 2 years ago
Coming from someone who made the very mistake your daughter did, I wasted so much time wishing my mom would reach out. I was scared and too ashamed to contact her. A simple reminder that you'll always be there for her might be something she's been needing. At least let her know her stupid choice isn't permanent in your eyes. If possible just send her a small reminder. I wasted my opponent and my mom passed. Don't take time for granted. A reminder isn't forcing yourself on her.
#13
Choosing to continue to look for help. I went though a rather tough time over the past few years and I got suicidally depressed. And I did have two attempts that failed. After the last one I got found out and was confronted by my family and it was then I decided that I could either start looking for help or continue to spiral down alone until something did finally happen. So I started searching, found local help groups and talk groups online and went to a few with minimal effect. Eventually I got hold of some numbers for therapists and they all refused me. Either because they outright said they didn't believe me or because they didn't do as many sessions as I needed. It got to a point where I was calling numbers for help and expecting them to turn me away and I lost hope for them. So after a few weeks I faced the same choice. Continue to look for help or spiral back down to where I started until something eventually happens. I chose to continue to look for help and I did eventually get a single meeting with someone a year later as an introduction session to decide whether or not they can refer me to an actual therapist. And at that point I finally felt like something actually got moving and that change was going to happen. I've now got more hobbies, got new friends to talk to and confide in and I've just found a way to improve my living situation. Things I wouldn't have if I just continued to sit there and do nothing
Final score:
12points
#14
The absolute hardest thing was to take my 16 years old be to be put down. I've always wondered what made someone make that decision. Mostly the answer was that "you just know" my guy at 16 was deaf, and then blind. He had his routine of going outside checking on the perimeter of the yard on his own. He still are fine sorry in his bed and seemed quite content. Then my brother started construction all around me as I lived in a room of of Dad's workshop in the back. Jackhammer and bulldozer right outside my door. I had to carry him out to the sidewalk to get on sinus ground again and take him out to go potty. I had decide that if he reached a point where he couldn't do and would end up getting lost inside and end up standing in a corner. My gut was telling me he was not happy, not or content anymo. Hhis whole world was turned upside down.wasn't until he started pee blood and i was going to take him in to see the vet. It was at that point I made the decision. He was my lost little boy.. It was a sudden decision; not something I had been thinking about for any time. I realized that would be me just I wanted to have him with me for just one last night. But that would selfish of me to put him thru one more night of pain confusion. He had his head out the window on the car, enjoing the wind blowing on his face. At the vet, he did his automatic sit for the treat from the vet when she came in. Then I say on the floor holding him close as he got the first shot that was to sedate him util the second shot took effect.. he had no fear or anxiety, just peacefully drifted off to sleep until.l he was gone. I'm happy that his last moments were of feeling loved just knowing he was was safe and wrapped up in love.. I sobbed so much still lying on the floor holding him so tightly unill my friend took me out of the room.
That was the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life. Even worse than loosing mom or my dad.
Reliving it here .I've never let myself think about it at all. For ten years 10 years. Time had not healed this pain.
This Christmas day will be one year since my most recent litte baby girl Chloe died on Christmas day.
I don't know if posting about this was a good idea or not
But something made me answer this question
Final score:
12points
Gareth Baus 2 years ago
Please specify the species, that first line was a little disturbing until you mentioned all the signs of old age.
#15
Moving across the country to live with my boyfriend and away from my homophobic father.
Final score:
11points
#16
being myself in a really tough fam
Final score:
11points
#17
At 27 I was diagnosed with cancer in my uterus and told that I needed a hysterectomy. Our daughter was 7 and our son 5. The Dr. asked if we were through having kids because post-op there was no going back. He said they caught it very early.
He said if we wanted to try for one last kid to get pregnant as fast as we could and he would monitor me super closely. He said that there was a chance that if the cancer got busy he would have to abort to save my life.
We talked it over and decided we wouldn't want to take the chance of absolutely losing a baby at 50/50 odds because cancer isn't predictable. That one was pretty hard. But I've got two great kids I wouldn't trade for gold.
Final score:
10points
#18
Moving my first wife to "comfort measures only". It was all the worse because our marriage was hitting some rough spots that would have (had she recovered) lead us at least to counselling or (more likely) to divorce court.
Final score:
10points
#19
Getting past being an alcoholic and nearly killing myself on multiple occasions
Final score:
10points
#20
I didn’t think that this could even happen, but I guess it can. I once had feelings for three men at once. I eventually forced myself to choose one of them.
Final score:
8points
#21
Getting grief Counceling after my mom died. Now I can cope in a healthy way.
Final score:
7points
OhNoAO 2 years ago
Grief and rejection (broken heart, being ignored, getting ghosted or dumped, not being included in some way) are the hardest emotions to deal with because of where they are processed in our brains. It's the same region our fight or flight response comes from, which takes a physical toll on our bodies by activating our adrenaline (increased heart rate, tense muscles, elevated hormone secretion, all things you need in order to run and escape danger) our brains can't tell the difference between emotional and physical pain, which is why losing someone we love physically hurts so bad. I'm glad you got help to teach you how to cope and your Mama would be glad her having to go with God isn't going to hurt you forever. Till you meet again ✌🏻
What do you think ?
Adam Gregory 2 years ago
Leaving a high demand religion, and then telling my family (all of who are still 100% in). They think much less of me, but I can't live a lie for them.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I think much more of you for doing this. You are very brave.
Load More Replies... Nichole Harris 2 years ago
Leaving a 13 year relationship (half my life then) with a man I loved more than anything because I woke up one day and realized that he didn't love me anymore if he ever had ..I was only a commodity
Caro Caro 2 years ago
That sucks. Have you found happiness now? You ok? Hugs Nichole.
Load More Replies...
CHARLIE R 2 years ago
Coming out to my friends and only having 2 left (the ones who were dating) ( one was trans & gay and the other was gay) and those are my only friends to this day
Caro Caro 2 years ago
2 GOOD friends!!! Some don't even have one friend. Be yourself, be happy :)
Load More Replies...
Looks like an Angel 2 years ago (edited)
Getting diagnosed with reproductive cancer and having the option to do treatment (which meant medication, pain, and being sick, tired and miserable every day,) or I could do radiation to shrink the growth and then have a hysterectomy to have all of the cancer removed. I was 26, wanted children more than anything in the entire world....but I chose my health and happiness and had the hysterectomy. The following year of therapy helped me come to terms with the decision.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Tough decision to make. I'm glad your still here with us.
Load More Replies...
DS Mom 2 years ago
Telling my mom about the sexual and physical abuse my birth father did to me since I was a toddler.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
OMG. That must have been traumatic and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Have you received therapy? You ok now? We are here for you if you want to talk. Hugs DS Mom.
Load More Replies... Helena 2 years ago
Mom died when I was 18 and my sister was 15. When we were in the hospital, before the helicopter ride to another hospital, we were told she was absolutely mauled. She had been hit by a very very large truck. She was nowhere near conscious. They asked if we wanted to see her before the helicopter ride. I thought about it, and told them no. I didn't want that image in my 15 year old sisters head. I knew the possibility existed that mom would die, and I didn't want the last image in my sister ( or mine as well) of mom to be of her looking all mangled. Mom was a force of nature. She should get to live in our memories as that strong force of nature. She never regained consciousness. Mom died mid-flight. I'm still not positive I made the right choice. I still don't think mom would've wanted us traumatized seeing her in that state. Whenever we went to a funeral she steered us away from the corpse on the reasoning she didn't want that to be how we thought of the deceased.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. You did the right thing, remember your mum the way she was - keeping her in your heart with love and joy. Hugs Helena.
Load More Replies...
CMKL 2 years ago (edited)
Accepting the fact that my biological father didn't want me, (I knew this when I was young 8-10ish), not even in death. I hadn't spoken to him in 30 or so years, before that it was more like listening to his racist comments about me when we just happened to cross paths. He recently died, my brothers (I have 7), wanted me to go see him, I didn't want to, apparently he didn't want me there either, he told them so. When he died he had it written that I was not welcome at his funeral, (good for me I didn't want to be there)! My brothers FINALLY realized that he really did hate me. I didn't go, unfortunately his obituary has it written that he was a loving father who loved spending time with his children & grandchildren! I was written in as were my 3 kids that he never even met😠Unfortunately, anyone who was there knows I wasn't & it started all over again! Its a never ending vicious cycle.
DS Mom 2 years ago
I'm so sorry CMKL. Some men should never become fathers. ❤️
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
Realisng your partner never loved you, or did "as a friend", and that the kids were the only reason to stay together... and that it was either kids seeing daily fights and having both parents OR choosing my own happiness over fear of being alone and not having someone to fall back on. Basically the story of 50% of relationships (google divorce stats if you doubt me). They should teach you this in school. Or we should just stop this marriage thing, it doesn't work very well.
mandy the capibara 2 years ago
Best of luck to you! That sounds like a tough but brave decision.
Load More Replies... Adam Gregory 2 years ago
Leaving a high demand religion, and then telling my family (all of who are still 100% in). They think much less of me, but I can't live a lie for them.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I think much more of you for doing this. You are very brave.
Load More Replies... Nichole Harris 2 years ago
Leaving a 13 year relationship (half my life then) with a man I loved more than anything because I woke up one day and realized that he didn't love me anymore if he ever had ..I was only a commodity
Caro Caro 2 years ago
That sucks. Have you found happiness now? You ok? Hugs Nichole.
Load More Replies... CHARLIE R 2 years ago
Coming out to my friends and only having 2 left (the ones who were dating) ( one was trans & gay and the other was gay) and those are my only friends to this day
Caro Caro 2 years ago
2 GOOD friends!!! Some don't even have one friend. Be yourself, be happy :)
Load More Replies... Looks like an Angel 2 years ago (edited)
Getting diagnosed with reproductive cancer and having the option to do treatment (which meant medication, pain, and being sick, tired and miserable every day,) or I could do radiation to shrink the growth and then have a hysterectomy to have all of the cancer removed. I was 26, wanted children more than anything in the entire world....but I chose my health and happiness and had the hysterectomy. The following year of therapy helped me come to terms with the decision.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Tough decision to make. I'm glad your still here with us.
Load More Replies... DS Mom 2 years ago
Telling my mom about the sexual and physical abuse my birth father did to me since I was a toddler.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
OMG. That must have been traumatic and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Have you received therapy? You ok now? We are here for you if you want to talk. Hugs DS Mom.
Load More Replies... Helena 2 years ago
Mom died when I was 18 and my sister was 15. When we were in the hospital, before the helicopter ride to another hospital, we were told she was absolutely mauled. She had been hit by a very very large truck. She was nowhere near conscious. They asked if we wanted to see her before the helicopter ride. I thought about it, and told them no. I didn't want that image in my 15 year old sisters head. I knew the possibility existed that mom would die, and I didn't want the last image in my sister ( or mine as well) of mom to be of her looking all mangled. Mom was a force of nature. She should get to live in our memories as that strong force of nature. She never regained consciousness. Mom died mid-flight. I'm still not positive I made the right choice. I still don't think mom would've wanted us traumatized seeing her in that state. Whenever we went to a funeral she steered us away from the corpse on the reasoning she didn't want that to be how we thought of the deceased.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. You did the right thing, remember your mum the way she was - keeping her in your heart with love and joy. Hugs Helena.
Load More Replies... CMKL 2 years ago (edited)
Accepting the fact that my biological father didn't want me, (I knew this when I was young 8-10ish), not even in death. I hadn't spoken to him in 30 or so years, before that it was more like listening to his racist comments about me when we just happened to cross paths. He recently died, my brothers (I have 7), wanted me to go see him, I didn't want to, apparently he didn't want me there either, he told them so. When he died he had it written that I was not welcome at his funeral, (good for me I didn't want to be there)! My brothers FINALLY realized that he really did hate me. I didn't go, unfortunately his obituary has it written that he was a loving father who loved spending time with his children & grandchildren! I was written in as were my 3 kids that he never even met😠Unfortunately, anyone who was there knows I wasn't & it started all over again! Its a never ending vicious cycle.
DS Mom 2 years ago
I'm so sorry CMKL. Some men should never become fathers. ❤️
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
Realisng your partner never loved you, or did "as a friend", and that the kids were the only reason to stay together... and that it was either kids seeing daily fights and having both parents OR choosing my own happiness over fear of being alone and not having someone to fall back on. Basically the story of 50% of relationships (google divorce stats if you doubt me). They should teach you this in school. Or we should just stop this marriage thing, it doesn't work very well.
mandy the capibara 2 years ago
Best of luck to you! That sounds like a tough but brave decision.
Load More Replies...
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