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Hey Pandas, What Trait Did Your Parents Have That Makes You Feel You’d Be A Better Parent?
Any "Well, Now I Know What Not to Do" Moments Are Welcome!
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#1
Easily better than them
My father set on fire by him pouring hand sanitizer of my back after lifting my vest and pinning me to the ground set it on fire, it burned for several seconds, my vest slided back down burnt as well, melted onto my skin plastic(?) zipper included and fused with it!. I kept from screaming the whole time because he told me to, or else.
My back melted off and was oozing, I couldn't see properly it was my back, thankfully he left this evening to go fetch/take my grandparents from/to the airport so I could take care of it a little (I.E. let it in the air instead of putting a shirt over it to hide it. I don't know if it was second or third burn as I couldn't go to the hospital as people coudn't learn about it.
Hurt for several weeks, I couldn't lie on my back or sides bend or hunch, having a chill hurt extremely, having a shower would make my back worse, the rubber elastics of my panties and bra were pushing on the scar/healing hard and hurt, my shirt would constantly brush against it. I didn't see it but I felt it with my hand when I tried to fix it when it happened and think one of my vertebrae bone was bare, and leaking black(?) I thinnk it got infected because there is a bump at one spot..
that's one example
So considering I have to actual will to be a good parent if one day I can that's makes it better, just that only.
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#3
Constant beating during childhood (my hands and feet had black bruises).
Constantly insulting and humiliating me (even as a 7 y. o. child).
Never teaching me anything but expecting me to know things.
Lashing out at me for minor trifles or for no reason at all.
Telling me their life would have been better if I hadn't been born.
Reproaching me how they sacrificed their youth and how much money they spent for my upbringing.
Never offering any word of support or praise, even invalidating my achievements. (ex. "big deal, you just got lucky").
Sleep deprivation - as they would frequently enter my room when I was asleep and make noise to wake me up etc. etc.
It's really easy to be a better parent than that.
#4
My dad would always guilt trip me into being better, saying things like, "Oh I used to feel good about faking you on trips, but you're such a bad student that we can't do that now." or "I wish you could watch this show with me, but because you're grounded I guess I'll have to watch it by myself. That's quite a shame isn't it?" It's nothing compared to other peoples experience I'm sure- But I will never do that to my kids.
Tonyah Mcanelly 11 hours ago
My mother was a single mom she didn't drive due to a car accident that traumatized her. so growing up we walked everywhere. I grew up in a small town so walking wasn't to horrible as most things were relatively close. Watching her support me and my two siblings on her own with very little money . was such an inspiration. Eating from a silver spoon sounds great but polishing a tarnished spoon until its silver is the best life lesson I was ever taught .
#5
The "poor parenting" traits my parents had are one of the reasons I've chosen. But for people who are, letting your teens drift aimlessly and make all their important life choices on their own is a good indication you shouldn't have had them.
#6
My dads as fat stupid and lazy as they come. Think Homer Simpson except lazier and he doesn't drink. He completely ignored us kids and spent all his free time watching tv. The only chore he ever did was laundry but only his laundry. My mom who has fibromyalgia had to do everything and she worked full time on top of doing all the household chores and taking care of 7 kids. He was a pitcher in high school and I had to beg him to play catch which he only did a few times. He wonders why I hate him.
#7
My parents would buy me an instrument i.e. a drum set, keyboard, a guitar, but never get me lessons. Then they'd tell me I'm lazy because I never learned how to play. This was also per-internet days, but they also never took me to the library.
#8
My father was a sociopathic abuser, my mother a doormat and enabler.....I COULD have been a better parent but feared i wouldn't be so never married and no kids.....let the line die with me.....
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