Magma elementals became sexually attracted to me when I (Druid) spoke Primordial to them. They were hiding in an oven.

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Sprout

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Sprout (Submission author)

Sprout

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1 year ago

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I didn't even say anything sexy! I just said hi!

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There is this one campaign that everything interesting seems to happen during:

1. There are 8 people in the campaign. None of us communicated what our characters were, and when we sat down to play, we realized we had 3 aarakocra, a kenku, and an owl person. Over half of us chose bird people, and this was completely random chance.

2. Our rogue drank a glow potion, and during the next fight someone made the joke of throwing the rogue as a flashbomb. Not in canon, the person who would go first in the fight asked the rogue person if he was okay with his character getting thrown, and this kid was so terrified that he couldn't speak and just shook his head. We did not throw the glowing rogue.

3. There was an arm wrestling competition during a festival and 5/8 of us decide to join. The first person in our party goes. She has a +1 strength, and ends us getting destroyed by the champion. The second person, +2 strength, is also destroyed by the champion. I go next. I look up the strength stat for my character: -1. Completely convinced I am about to get demolished, I roll the die, and even with a -1 I rolled higher than the DM. 3 times in a row. My little chicken leg -1 character (I was one of the birds) is now the arm wrestling champion of this town.

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Disona

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ALRIGHT FINALLY I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED:

1. There was a chicken lady. She was supposed to be a quest guide. We killed her and made her corpse into KFC, and then set stuff on fire.

2. Kidnapped the mayor's son who fell in love with my friend's character.

3. Found an elf lady and two of us (me and someone else) got into a fight over who could ask her out bc the reference photo was HOT

4. My character got adopted by my friend's character.

5. The DM said that no mythology exists, and then mentioned the River Styx, so we all kept asking him questions like "If Greek mythology isnt real then why are there Clerics of Apollo" and "Fae are Celtic" and "You literally just said Thor".

6. There's some god trying to bring the nine hells to the mortal world. He has some big fancy name. We dub him Tommy.

7. Someone died knocking on a door

8. Failed to burn down an old man's house

9. Entered Dis (the second level of hell) and made a ton of jokes about how "Dis is hell" and "Dis is not good"

10. We all started singing the Jeopardy theme while the DM looked something up.

The teacher supervising the club is very concerned for us.

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QueerAxolotls

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We were visiting the elf queen for a mission. My party-mates go searching for keebler cookies (because keebler elf) leaving me all alone for the negotiations. So, I go to the elf queen. This old hag doesn't pay attention to a word I say and tries to shoot me with a flaming arrow. I dodge and it flies out the window. One of my party members asked where it landed, and my DM grabs the map and studies it for a second before scribbling something on it. The word Europe was now crossed out on the map.

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Disona

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