Once my sister said "You're so ugly!" and I said "Oh hey, we're twins!"

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4points

Ruby White

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"At least I don't have to hide behind my insecurities by hurting other people."

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4points

sleepy.axolotl

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someone[mybully} said"lets ignore her today!" me"I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND NO ONE WILL KNOW UNTIL ITS TOO LATE!!!!!!!! I AM JUST AN INISENT FLY ON THE WALL!!!*villain laughter*n HHHHHAAAAAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

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Final score:

2points

Molly Mitchell

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One of the best I've seen (I think I stole it from a bp list) was "First of all, brush your teeth. Second... *insert your rebuttal to their statement*" I also love "Okay? And?" accompanied by a blank/expectant stare

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2points

A Wild Bean (they/them/any)

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If someone gets all angry with me and just starts spewing some vile stuff I wait until they finish and say "If you wanted to make out with me that badly you could've just asked."

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2points

Toothpaste guy

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if someone says something mean to you like for instance you your ugly i know you are but so am i so on and so on until they something nice like your pretty and then you say HANK YOU SO MUCH HOW SWEET OF YOU! and then walk away

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Final score:

1point

JESUSLOVESYOU!

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“I will shove my foot so far up your a*s you will become a scarecrow” -blue mouse

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1point

Blue_Mouse (is gone!)

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Just say "Go to French hell". It will leave them wondering French hell is.

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Final score:

1point

Disona

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My usual comeback to my sister’s snarky remarks:

Her: “Your face is ugly.” Me with a straight face: “You’re one to talk.” Her: “Be quiet!!! I have a beautiful face!!”

Sometimes I just stare at her. She’s big on emotions and I’m not, and my staring makes her more upset. “Stop looking at me!”


Sometimes, for people on the internet, I respond to insults and remarks with a very serious, non-sarcastic reply. Someone says something snarky and I say very pointedly “you are incorrect about this, you assumed THIS without any evidence, and that was a misunderstanding. Also, I don’t do that other thing either. Don’t stereotype a whole group based on some of the loud mouths’ actions :)”

I use “:)” for a “this is a warning” face. I use “=)” for a genuinely friendly face.

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P.C.

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I was annoying a coworker by asking the same question, phrased differently, several times one day. She was on a deadline, totally stressed and trying really hard to be patient. i was new to tech support and really did not understand our ATM software so I really needed to know. About the 5th time she explained it again and finished with "and why don't you just tatoo that on your a$$ so I can get back to work". Stunned for a moment, I paused, then replied "well, ok, but it will be backwards in the mirror sooo"

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A girl

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I once told a guy that called me fat (I’m not) that he looked like. Blonde celery stick.

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Blue_Mouse (is gone!)

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"The jerk store called their running out of you." George Constanza (seinfeld)

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Enochrises

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This guy I used to work with asked me our a few times. Each time I sad 'no' so he asked me why. I told him 'for many reasons. One being I'm allergic to penicillin.' I wish I had a 🎤to drop afterwards.

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Bonesko

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"Do you know who I am?" I know who you think you are.

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0points

WolfZZZ (she/her)

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