Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Jut say the insult and put your answer in quotes.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Once my sister said "You're so ugly!" and I said "Oh hey, we're twins!"
Final score:
4points
RELATED:
#2
"At least I don't have to hide behind my insecurities by hurting other people."
Final score:
4points
#3
someone[mybully} said"lets ignore her today!" me"I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND NO ONE WILL KNOW UNTIL ITS TOO LATE!!!!!!!! I AM JUST AN INISENT FLY ON THE WALL!!!*villain laughter*n HHHHHAAAAAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
Final score:
2points
#4
One of the best I've seen (I think I stole it from a bp list) was "First of all, brush your teeth. Second... *insert your rebuttal to their statement*" I also love "Okay? And?" accompanied by a blank/expectant stare
Final score:
2points
P.C. 1 year ago
My sister tells me to brush my teeth- but like, I just ate? You want me to carry a toothbrush with me at all times for after every meal or smth? And the second one, I’d respond to that very literally. Them: “Okay? And?” Me: “Take it as you will, young’n. If you mess up the interpretation, that’s not my fault…”
#5
If someone gets all angry with me and just starts spewing some vile stuff I wait until they finish and say "If you wanted to make out with me that badly you could've just asked."
Final score:
2points
#6
if someone says something mean to you like for instance you your ugly i know you are but so am i so on and so on until they something nice like your pretty and then you say HANK YOU SO MUCH HOW SWEET OF YOU! and then walk away
Final score:
1point
#7
“I will shove my foot so far up your a*s you will become a scarecrow” -blue mouse
Final score:
1point
#8
Just say "Go to French hell". It will leave them wondering French hell is.
Final score:
1point
Disona (Submission author) 1 year ago
I'm part French. Also many of my friends hated French class in high school.
#9
My usual comeback to my sister’s snarky remarks:
Her: “Your face is ugly.” Me with a straight face: “You’re one to talk.” Her: “Be quiet!!! I have a beautiful face!!”
Sometimes I just stare at her. She’s big on emotions and I’m not, and my staring makes her more upset. “Stop looking at me!”
Sometimes, for people on the internet, I respond to insults and remarks with a very serious, non-sarcastic reply. Someone says something snarky and I say very pointedly “you are incorrect about this, you assumed THIS without any evidence, and that was a misunderstanding. Also, I don’t do that other thing either. Don’t stereotype a whole group based on some of the loud mouths’ actions :)”
I use “:)” for a “this is a warning” face. I use “=)” for a genuinely friendly face.
Final score:
0points
#10
I was annoying a coworker by asking the same question, phrased differently, several times one day. She was on a deadline, totally stressed and trying really hard to be patient. i was new to tech support and really did not understand our ATM software so I really needed to know. About the 5th time she explained it again and finished with "and why don't you just tatoo that on your a$$ so I can get back to work". Stunned for a moment, I paused, then replied "well, ok, but it will be backwards in the mirror sooo"
Final score:
0points
#11
I once told a guy that called me fat (I’m not) that he looked like. Blonde celery stick.
Final score:
0points
#12
"The jerk store called their running out of you." George Constanza (seinfeld)
Final score:
0points
#13
This guy I used to work with asked me our a few times. Each time I sad 'no' so he asked me why. I told him 'for many reasons. One being I'm allergic to penicillin.' I wish I had a 🎤to drop afterwards.
Final score:
0points
#14
"Do you know who I am?" I know who you think you are.
Final score:
0points
Related on Bored Panda
