I was at a family reunion and all my uncles and my dad were cooking the turkey in the garage I went and sat at the door eaves dropping. I heard them all discussing how long it would take to cook the baby in the turkey fryer. They were all drunk and watching my sisters baby. So I walked in and quickly took the baby inside with me before they got any ideas.

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Juliette

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Henry Russell

Henry Russell

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1 year ago

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in my experince about an hour if you want it medium rare

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I was at school sitting at the same table as a group of friends discussing a new boy. I didn’t know any of them. They were talking about what classes they have together, how smart he is, but mainly they were saying how hot he was. One of them said “he has a face perfect for sitting on”. To this day, I’m dying to know which classmate was the new boy

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Le Dollar Bean (they/them)

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jmdirks

jmdirks

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1 year ago

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You were sitting at a table with a group of friends BUT didn't know any of them??????

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"yes [child's name which I have now forgotten], the vending machine will fight back if you kick it"
don't ask me, I don't have any more context than you

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3points

IDidntChooseReality

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“she’s such a sucker, she doesn’t know i’m also a girl *intense giggles* yeah, such a bi**h” apparently some girl was catfishing someone else and laughing to her freinds about it

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Mike_the_nike

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I was in the bathroom and these girls were talking about how attractive this guy was, and i was interested so i listened in. they discussed about if they think hes had a girlfriend before, who it probably was, if they would date him, and then they said his name..
...they were talking about me, they thought I was a cis guy, they thought i had dated this one pick-me-girl, and they said they were gonna ask me out...WE WERE IN 5TH GRADE. (she never asked me out thank GOD)

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Robby (Ze/Zir)

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jmdirks

jmdirks

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1 year ago

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I'm lost on this one.Were you a guy in the girls bathroom???

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i heard someone talking about them liking pregnant women feet pics.

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Scare

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Old man talking rather loudly on his cell phone about his erectile dysfunction. In a public library. 🙄

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad

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you dont wanna know...

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-1point

Robby (Ze/Zir)

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Lady talking on the phone while waiting in line at a grocery store cash register. Carrying on about how disappointed she was that her husband had unexpectedly been called out of town for what sounded like a long while on business, the rush of packing, and the traffic near the airport. Complaining that plans were canceled and things postponed. Then it sounded like she was politely rejecting an invitation of some sort, and said she was about to go home to dinner alone, and would probably just spend her extra time after work at home reading books and watching movies until he returns. Quiet time.

I guess it wasn't the conversation alone that I found bizarre. It was that, and the contents of her shopping basket: various lubricants, red roses, a huge box of condoms, and several bottles of alcohol.

Caused some raised eyebrows and quiet chuckles from people in close proximity, and a comment about what she was having for dinner.

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*InsertWittyUsernameHere*

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just like, five people saying “what” to each other for a straight minute

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Mike_the_nike

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