Out of nowhere and you were left speechless!

#1

I don't know what to say when people are sad or grieving. I'm literally not capable of empathy so I just look like a ahole.

For example, a short while ago colleague A had sent a message to colleague B telling them that their (A) mother had died that morning. B told me as I'm the direct manager of A.
When A called me and told me their mum had died, my response was 'So I hear! What's your plan? How long do you want off?'.
I know I need improvement.

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Mina
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know what? At least you are aware of it and that's huge. If you want some advice, I guess a general rule for any sad situation would simply be to say something like "I'm sorry to hear." Honestly, sometimes that's the only thing that is appropriate. You can add "How are you holding up?" or if you just don't really want to know or will know what to do if they do share how terrible they are feeling, then don't even ask that. If you do feel the need to add something else, you can just say "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you." Also don't say "I know how you feel" if you truly don't - instead just say "I can't imagine how you are feeling." And then just listen, I find that during difficult times people just want to be heard. Some people feel the need to then share their own grief story, but don't do that, it doesn't help them unless they specifically ask you to share your experience.

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    Mina
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's kind of scary! I'm glad he left you alone

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