Can be from you, a friend, or a TV show, any funny quote that most likely made sense in the moment, but is downright baffling to anyone else.

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#1

"DON'T SMASH THE CHILD"

For context (which is desperately needed) I was trying to stop my friend from dropping her water bottle on a box containing an "egg baby" that I had to keep uncracked and "alive" for 24 hours as a project. No children were harmed during this event.

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QueerAxolotls
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#2

"I LOVE CONSTIPATED OLD MEN!!!"
- at-the-time 7th grader

this was in the bus going home. i still do not have the context. i think about it sometimes and wonder in what situation someone would need to say that.

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shanila.pheonix_
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#3

'God he wants his slurp juice' is a good one. The context makes it significantly worse so don't ask

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crowspectre (he/they)
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#4

“I smash every woman in sight”
my brother said this, referring to mosquitoes, because every blood-sucking mosquito is a female.

“No one can tell you what to do when you’re hanging from the rafters”

“we need to get shredded for Jesus Christ”

“I am thoroughly sogged”

“good news! My eyes are turning back into grapes!”

“i’m not gay, i’m just admiring him”


I have a quote book in my notes app so that’s why I have so many lol

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DustTea (she/her)
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#5

‘Dude, I love cocaine.’

Heard at a train station around midnight. I have absolutely no context

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A Really Bored Panda
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#6

“This tastes like balls.” I was describing the taste of dandelions, which in my opinion taste like balls. Yeah safe to say that I will never eat dandelions ever again.

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Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him)
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#7

no im not canadian idk why i said it i just did

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jordan (pineapple he/she)
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#8

"let me feel your balls again!"-someone in the hallway today

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freakingbee (she/they)
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#9

Go toss it into the disembodied limbs box

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Buggy Dragon she/her
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#10

“I think my parents glued a pénis to me when I was born”

Kid in my class talking about he suspects that he was part of a scientific study where he swapped genders with someone else lol

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ℕ𝕚𝕔𝕠 is leaving
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#11

“bro… i think your dog is more educated than i am…”

heard in a st. petersburg sandwich shop around 9pm, and i’m desperate to know the context

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ЛеснойКороль(they/he)🇺🇦🇷🇺
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#12

“And then he started undressing and shoved the remote up his a*s” zero context. Was also heard in a high school

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_physically_insane_(he/they/any)
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#13

“Go fall out of a tree and if that doesn't work, come talk to me.”

Turns out my friend was talking to my other friend about getting out of exercising. Still confused.

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Shade Relithaak
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#14

"Just snap his spine" heard at Walmart.

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Yeet_girl360
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#15

Ok I’m sorry please don’t downvote me but
“Furry p**sy” my god I don’t even want to know the context also another one is, these people were talking about long boards, and this kid goes. You can ride this longboard Lord, so help me.

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Blue_Mouse (is gone!)
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#16

Oh boy do I got a full list.
I dont really know where to start. My friends I have a notebook with 10 pages full of quotes of either stuff we overheard or stuff one of us has said. I'll just put my personal favourites.
" But, You deserve to be loved BY A MAN you can trust and depend upon!"
" Oh, hey over there. Do you like my dummy snowman? He's for me to throw things at. Very fun."
" DOES ANYONE WANT TO SING TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR OR NOT?!"
"Wow, even in the apocalypse they got the women doing the laundry"
" Mmm smash,' ' Girl, that is a lamp"
"That was very sussy baka' ' If you dare say that again..... bad things will happen."

I could keep going but I'm gunna stop here. Let me know in the comments if you want to hear more.

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Ang Chiyoko/Koharu
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melowin30 avatar
oblong mongoose (they/them)
oblong mongoose (they/them)
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my quote book on google docs is 39 pages long and i had to start a new one because it crashed

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