ADVERTISEMENT

"The Chicken Salt Incident": I was laughing while holding a packet of chicken salt and it blew up my nose.

We’ve all done crazy things or crazy things have happened to us. I wanted to share my funny story, so now, who will be brave enough to share theirs? Post the funniest things that you've done or that have happened to you!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Once when I was a teenager and under the influence of some beers, I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that you should be able to inhale air through your nose as forcefully as you could blow it out of your nose. I decided to test my theory by extinguishing a match, placing it close to my nostrils and then inhaling rapidly. Yes, I put out the flame. Yes, the flame also goes straight up your nose and burns your nostrils and singes your nose hairs. No, your friends never let you forget it.

Report

Final score:
40points
Jo Choto
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
RELATED:
    #2

    After being at my first REAL job as an adult for three months, I get chosen to make a presentation to the Board of Directors. I prepped so hard for this meeting for weeks. Three days before the big pres. I get my best "power suit" from the cleaners, polish my heels, go to bed early the night before. The morning arrives and I am READY! Nothing could stop me. Ten minutes before my scheduled time, I use the restroom, wash my hands, check my hair, my teeth, my make up and it is game time.
    I go in to the board room and make my presentation and I AM ON IT. But for some reason, the room doesn't seem to be with me, but I power through and make my pitch. When I am finished, I walk around the table and shake everyone's hand and thank them for their time. As I walk by one of the department heads, I feel a tug at the waist of my skirt. I don't think any of it, I say my good byes and I leave the room walking on air.
    I turn towards the elevators and catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window of an empty office...my skirt was tucked in my pantyhose. Twenty-five minutes of the (what I thought at the time) most awesome I would ever be and I did it with my skirt tucked in my pantyhose. I made an immediate beeline for the restroom, and started to cry. I stood in front of the mirror and went to pull my skirt out and only then did I realize, much to my horror, I had Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore on my underwear.

    Report

    Final score:
    33points
    GirlFriday
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #3

    When I was a kid we had a family gathering. We weren’t allowed to drink soft drink very often so I took the opportunity and drank the little bits left in cans that people had finished. Well I didn’t realise they were using a can as an ashtray so you can imagine my horror when I drank out of the can. I had cigarette ash all through my mouth. Was so disgusting.

    Report

    Final score:
    17points
    Foxxy says Hello
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #4

    This was my friend: She was doing a line dance at school. Pretty easy. Step, step, kick, kick, kick. So she did it perfectly during practices. Then came the big day. Everybody was all dressed up. Her shoes were a size too big. She step stepped, and then kicked. Her left shoe flew off, and hit the principal in the head. It somehow bounced off, and hit this annoying boy in the head. His friend grabbed and tossed it back to my friend. They executed the dance perfectly, and everybody thought it was part of the act. Until the next day, when the principal came to school with a huge lump on her head.

    Report

    Final score:
    17points
    Zadie the Swiftie
    Add photo comments
    POST
    zkruglov0001 avatar
    I love Hermione (Submission author)
    I love Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend didn't know how to post, or even get an account. So I posted for her.

    Vote comment up
    17
    17points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    I went to the wrong funeral once. Stood in line for over an hour before approaching the family to pay my respects. Finally took my head out of my own ass to realize I recognized no one in the room. Felt embarrassed but was already too committed so I pretended to know the deceased and said the obligatory "I'm sorry for your loss" then quickly high-tailed it out of there.
    That was the day I learned that particular funeral home had two entrances.

    Report

    Final score:
    17points
    GeneralZod
    Add photo comments
    POST
    cover-nineteen avatar
    Mari
    Mari
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    omg! did you miss out on the other funeral u were supposed to be at?

    Vote comment up
    9
    9points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #6

    I was under the influence of some beer next thing i know im home cooking food then i fall asleep on the couch. my mom came over the next day we hung out for a little bit and talked. after that she saw the sink and she offered to wash some dishes i said sure because i was going to do them that day. anyways i was extremely hungover when my mother screams i look and my steak that i was "microwaving" was actually in the dish washer being washed. now i get teased by my mom every time i see her.

    Report

    Final score:
    16points
    Hunter
    Add photo comments
    POST
    heaven_lee86 avatar
    Heaven Lee
    Heaven Lee
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s probably a good thing you put it in the dishwasher and fell asleep rather than possible causing a fire.

    Vote comment up
    11
    11points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #7

    When I was little, I found my second cousin's dirty bra. (She's 8 years older) I thought it was a water cup and spent hours laboriously filling it and drinking from it. I then found her tampons. By going through her trash. And then used the used tampons as nose plugs for swimming. Keep in mind I was 5 at the time.

    Report

    Final score:
    15points
    Zadie the Swiftie
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #8

    Not me but my now 18 year old daughter.... During a volleyball game she broke her foot. I took her to the ER and back then (she was maybe 14 -15) she wanted to be a Dr. So as we're sitting in the room waiting for a doctor she was going around the room looking at stuff and asking me what it was. "Mom, what's that?" (pointing to a clear cylindrical object on the wall) "That's to suck out any blood or what not when you come in with an injury and then the insert comes out and they can dispose of it properly" "and that?" (pointing to nozzles coming out of the wall) "Those are oxygen tanks in the wall so they don't have to find one if someone needs it." She nodded intrigued. "And that?" Now I'm confused because she's pointing at a trash can. So I say slowly to her.... "The traaaasshhh can?" *in a inquisitive tone* She laughs, "No Mom I know what a trash can is, the thing on it." I looked again and instantly started laughing so hard I was crying. Sitting on the trash can was a CORDED phone. "(daughter) That's a phone!" She started laughing hysterically too, so bad that the nurse came in to see what the ruckus was. I told her "My daughter wants to know what that is (pointing to the trash can)" Poor nurse looked confused. "The trash can ?!" I started howling with laughter again. "No! What's on top." She thought for a minute then started joining us in our fit of laughter. It dawned on me at that moment that my daughter had never seen a phone with a chord on it. We had always had cordless or cell phones. I felt so old and so did the nurse. But to be fair, this is the same daughter that I once told her she had a beautiful profile, to which she responded with "Which one?" I was like huh? She responded with "Mom I have so many, Fb, Instagram, Snap..." OMG *face palm* this generation. lol.

    Report

    Final score:
    15points
    AzKhaleesi
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    My family was getting ready to go out to dinner with another family and I was almost ready. Hair was done, make-up was on point. Other than getting dressed, the last detail was to glue on false nails. I wanted to set my false thumbnails quickly so I Super Glued them on and sat on my thumbs. My husband walks in to tell me the other family is here - in the living room - and sees me, stark naked with my thumbs Super Glued to my naked butt. I'm panicked and don't know what to to do. He loudly says the following, "Let me get the camera. David, Tammy (other couple), get in here!".

    Report

    Final score:
    13points
    Laura Smith
    Add photo comments
    POST
    james_fox1984 avatar
    Foxxy (The Original)
    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg, that’s hilarious. Although I would be absolutely mortified being stark naked and my husband calls in other people to the room.

    Vote comment up
    10
    10points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #10

    I was on a train to Seattle, sleeper car. In the morning I went to take a shower, not knowing that someone reported the shower as broken (it wasn't). I finished my shower, grabbed a towel, and... the conductor opened the door to check on/fix the shower. So there I stood, shower cap perched on head, very small bath towel clutched in front of me, saying in my most haughty manner, "Excuuuse me?!?" The door slammed so fast, I think there was a sonic boom! Conductor was so embarrassed (guys standing around in the background probably needed to wash their eyes out with soap - I'm a big, older woman), he spent the rest of the trip apologizing, and gave me an extra bottle of commemorative champagne (it was over Christmas). I couldn't be mad at him - it was an accident, after all - but my own mother, who made the complaint about the shower - her I told off but good (JK).

    Report

    Final score:
    12points
    Jo Johannsen
    Add photo comments
    POST
    laurencaswell4 avatar
    Lauren Caswell
    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lmao bet you that conductor will always knock from now on! I loved the 'excuuuse me!' reaction too XD

    Vote comment up
    8
    8points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #11

    When I was five, I often heard people say that fire fighters "put out the fire", and I made the mistake of thinking that they literally set light to things. In kindergarten they got some fire fighters to come and give us a lecture about fire safety, and I hatched a plan. During morning recess, I hid behind the slide at the play ground, and believe it or not but nobody noticed. During lunch recess, when everybody came out again, I joined them and pretended that I was there all along, only to find out that the fire fighters gave them lollipops.

    Report

    Final score:
    10points
    SongoftheStars
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #12

    once my brother said (very loudly and while we were on public transportation) DADDY, WHY IS YOUR PENIS SO HAIRY?

    Report

    Final score:
    10points
    Alec Ruel-Lee
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #13

    Last summer we just moved our baby chicks into one of the two outside coops. So I wanted to visit them and see how they where doing. I found the chicken I had claimed as mine and put her on my shoulder. She looked me straight in the eye and tried to peck my eye. I just waved my hand at her to get her to stop. My brother came around the corner and I asked him to take a picture. He took my phone from me and the chicken looked me in the eye again and this time she pecked me in the eye. My eyes stared to water and I asked him to help me to the house. I told my mom and she looked at my eye. There was a visible scratch across my cornea. My mom gave me some pain medication. We went to the ER and the put this neon yellow fluid in my eye. They then used a uv light to see the scratch that was very visible (My mom wasn't very happy about that). I wiped my nose and saw that my snot was glowing. I started to freak out because I was in pain and now my snot was glowing. They gave me medicated eye drops that numbed the eye. It was the oddest feeling. The next few hours where a blur.

    Report

    Final score:
    10points
    McLizard
    Add photo comments
    POST
    cover-nineteen avatar
    Mari
    Mari
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i don't see whats so funny, but it's a very interesting story! please tell me more! lol love the glowing snot

    Vote comment up
    8
    8points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    More embarrassing than funny at the time! My friend and I were in a production with the kindergarten kids when we were about thirteen. I had to wear a huge pineapple costume. It was very stuffy so I took off my school uniform underneath. Afterwards, I forgot I was only in my underwear and took off the pineapple in front of the whole school. My friend (who always did and still has my back), seeing my embarrassment, took off her pineapple too and started doing the Macerana. I joined in and the whole school practically died laughing XD

    Report

    Final score:
    10points
    Binapple
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #15

    It didn't happen to me, but my brother. Once we went shopping at Target. My brother had to go to the restroom. He was only 5 so my mom had to go with him into the women's restrooms. Me and my mom waited at the sinks. My brother went into a stall, pulled his pants all the way down, didn't close the stall doors, and yelled "THAT'S A LOT OF PEE!" We never let him forget it.

    Report

    Final score:
    9points
    Rowan Jeffus
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #16

    When I was little me and my friend were really into dragons. In the basement of my house there was a room I wasn't allowed to go into and I could see flickering light under the door so we hatched a plan. Me and my friend went down the carpeted stairs squirting water on them the whole way down. AT the bottom we basically just peeked under the door. We gasped and ran away when we heard noises. I now know that was the boiler room and it had a window.

    Report

    Final score:
    9points
    Les🐝an
    Add photo comments
    POST
    annbaney90 avatar
    Les🐝an (Submission author)
    Les🐝an
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Needless to say my mom wasn't happy about the water being sprayed on the stairs lol

    Vote comment up
    8
    8points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #17

    So I took a french class in elemtery school for five years straight, and one day i had to fart really badly and tried to hold it in but i sadly could not, i let out the biggest fart ever and the whole class looked at me and i was just looking around pretending i did nothing.

    Report

    Final score:
    9points
    A human
    Add photo comments
    POST
    cover-nineteen avatar
    Mari
    Mari
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i blamed it on the 'gassy' boy behind me all the time. poor Carlos

    Vote comment up
    2
    2points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #18

    When i was living in spain a friend gifted me a pet bunny. He was very cute, fluffy, and i loved him dearly. Needless to say my spanish was not too good at the beginnig. Nonetheless I worked in a bar. There I told all the regulars about my sweet conejo (bunny). In spanisch. I got very mixed reactions. I told them about the soft fur my conejo had, the carrots he loved to eat etc. 10 days later someone took pity on me and told me that the word "conejo" has also another meaning: pussy. Ouch.

    Report

    Final score:
    9points
    MauKini
    Add photo comments
    POST
    gonzor666 avatar
    Gonzalo Terán
    Gonzalo Terán
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I´m a spanish speaker... I can asure you everybody was biting their tongues to not to laugh out loud. They didn´t laugh at her, but with her, I hope...

    Vote comment up
    6
    6points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #19

    Well, my son was 4months old and constipated early one morning, so I called healthline(a free number to speak to a nurse) and was advised to give him a deep warm bath.
    10 mins later there's frantic banging on my door: I open it and 8-12 police come in, saying someone had called them making threats to hurt themselves and animals. I was confused, and scared. They separated my partner and I and questioned us. I showed a cop my phone with the call log to say "see I called healthline not you guys" and he took my phone. Found out it was healthline who had received the complaint. After an hour of questioning and abuse from the cops, including being told I'm a dangerous liar and don't deserve my baby, they were going to haul us off to the psych dept of the hospital to "find out who the liar is". Well I remembered healthline records all calls, so I asked a cop if I had the right to call healthline to access recording and he begrudgingly told me I did have that right. I rang them, explained, and got to watch the sergeants face drop as he heard me on recording asking about my son's constipation like I'd told him from the start. Turns out healthline computers were fault and assigned my number as being the source of two simultaneous calls: mine and the threatening call. The officers left, no apologies given. If I hadn't been so shocked and shaken I would have filed a complaint. Still wish I had.

    Report

    Final score:
    8points
    Lauren Caswell
    Add photo comments
    POST
    zkruglov0001 avatar
    I love Hermione
    I love Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you please tell me the city so I can go knock down the department's door and tell them to apologize?

    Vote comment up
    5
    5points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    This happened about 2 years ago in my sophomore or freshman year of high school. In my Nutrition class we were making a dish that included jalapeno. I cut off a very tiny piece off the end of the jalapeno my group was using because I wanted to try it. I took a tiny bite out of the piece I cut, and literally 5 minutes later, I was in the nurse's office. It was much worse for me because I was classified as a super-taster.

    Report

    Final score:
    8points
    Flare
    Add photo comments
    POST
    mysticalman avatar
    MysticalMan
    MysticalMan
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you eat any really hot spicy food like that keep white sugar handy and when the hot hits take about half a teaspoon or less and hot will be gone. Yes, really

    Vote comment up
    2
    2points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #21

    This was the winter of 2019, when all was calm before the storm. I was invited to a sleepover at my friend Maddi's, with 12 other sophomores. We had planned to eat pizza, watch hazbin hotel, and play Guess the Anime all night (because we're weebs :)). Little did I know the chaos that would ensue. We started out the night ordering 5 boxes of pizza. Pizza arrived after an hour, and Maddi's brother came downstairs. He has autism, but is really sweet. He was having fun running around and talking with everyone. Alivia, having drank too much soda, went off into the bathroom. Now, the bathrooms there didn't have locks, because the parents didn't want their son locking himself in on accident. We weren't paying attention to him, as we were ranting about some guy. All of a sudden, we hear a shriek, and look over at the bathroom. He had opened the bathroom door to throw something away and intruded on Alivia. She pulls up her pants and runs out sobbing and laughing saying she's scarred for life. At least we all grew a bit closer :/. After eating all our pizza and teasing Alivia, we store the boxes in the oven, for the fridge didn't have enough room. Fast forward to the morning. Maddi was going to bake us pancakes. Of course we spaced that the boxes were in the oven. She preheated the oven, and we all sat down to watch hazbin hotel. Suddenly theres smoke, and the alarm goes off. Her mom rushes downstairs, and we had to spray the oven with an exstinguisher. It was an eventful time. Plenty of fun. 10/10 would do again.

    Report

    Final score:
    7points
    GiveMeTheKidsKaren
    Add photo comments
    POST
    shaynameidela avatar
    Dorothy Parker
    Dorothy Parker
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Writer means well, but better would be "He has autism AND is really sweet." Rather than " but. " Never leave anything in the oven. Does nobody learn from Chef Leon on Below Deck?

    Vote comment up
    6
    6points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #22

    Not really funny but more embarrassing. I was at a summer camp and there was a special guest visiting (I was eleven at the time). Our counselor lady was communicating with her with sign language. Of course, I didn't get it right then because my brain chose that specific time to stop working. Anyway, I had thought they were just being weird, doing hand signs because they didn't want us to hear what they were saying. I laughed. I LAUGHED, in front of a quiet room FILLED with kids, at a deaf lady and a counselor communicating with sign language. And I remember clearly, someone saying "Who's laughing?" in a kind of offended voice. Aagh. Still can't believe I did that.

    Report

    Final score:
    7points
    IwiLLsTeaLyOuRsoUl
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #23

    Me and my husband once were invited by his favorite aunt and uncle to a family get together. At the end of the afternoon we were invited to eat something his aunt would prepare for us. We said sorry but we had to leave and could not stay to join them. When I heard it was pigeon, I wasn't so sorry but I was so glad that I wouldn't have to endure eating there and I got a bit over zealous and kept talking about how sad I was not being able to enjoy his aunt's special recipe and how my grandfather used to have racing pigeons and blah, blah, blah I just couldn't shut up about it. When we were about to leave, his uncle told us he had a surprise for me...and put it in our car. Him and his wife had an old bird, they were planning on making soup from but felt for me, as I had been on and on about pigeons and they had put it in our car. We thanked them and said goodbye to everyone and it wasn't until we reached the road, less than one minute later I noticed a cage with a live pigeon inside on the backseat of our sedan. My husband being from the country side didn't think anything of it. I on the other hand had been raised in the city and the thought of having to kill it to make soup was something straight out of a horror movie. Although he knew I was a fussy eater, he never thought I liked pigeon that much. I got into a panic on how I was going to deal with this but he had a marvellous time and told one story after another until we got home. He put the bird on the terrace and went to bed imediatly as he had to be up very early for work. I couldn't go to sleep and images of me killing that bird, plucking it and then cooking it, kept haunting me. Finally I did fall asleep and I got woken up by the door slamming shut behind him the next morning. After a few seconds I realised this hadn't been a dream, I got up and agonising about it took up the whole of the morning. I wasn't going to commit murder, I had taken pitty on that bird and what I was going to do was set it free. I would tell my husband it got out of it's cage somehow and no one would ever be the wiser. Well, that was what I thought and I was feeling good about the good thing I had done for that creature. An hour later my husband called to inform on how I was doing and I just couldn't keep it up any longer. The stress, the lack of sleep and not being a great liar, I started crying and told him about how I never ate pigeon before, never was planning to and I was such a coward,how I hadn't been able to kill it and had spared it's life and just let it fly away to find freedom. He started laughing and almost couldn't stop...I asked him why he found this so amusing. Pigeons always fly back home he said, didn't you know that? Seemed like his uncle had called him just a few minutes ago to let him know the pigeon he gave us had flown back there and wanted to hear why that was? Stupid little city brat me, this never even crossed my mind. I decided to own up on what I did and because of that his uncle let "Percy" as we named him live out the rest of his life. It's a story that became widely shared and they still joke about it.

    Report

    Final score:
    7points
    Pascale Pierloot
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    When I was around three years old, my mother wanted to stop breastfeeding me. So one day when I stood in front of her, all ready to drink, she told me that the milk was over. As innocent a three year old can be, I stood there confused. A few minutes my reply was "Really? Ok then." She says I never asked for drinking from her after that. Not even once.

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    TheOnly Gurl
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #25

    I have 3.
    1. Once me and my sisters where pretending to be each other and in the middle of the night my mother heard my sister at the door, crying and saying "can I be myself now?".
    2. A few days after I explained to my younger sister what pads where I went on a sleepover and found pads that I never packed. Apparently she put them in my bag "just in case" it was so sweet.
    3. When I was younger my siblings and I went outside for a "picnic" (we had cans of food and maple syrup) and my older sister colored all over my face with a pen.

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    fatso ratso
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #26

    Once when i was little about 4 and moved to norway i didnt speak fluent Norwegian sooo i kept on messing up the words, i went to school and we were screaming in class idk why and i accidentally screamed a swear word in front of the whole class abd they screamed it too 😂😂

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    Dalek Bunny
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #27

    One day I was sword fighting with my brother, they where foam sword made out of a a pool noodle rapped around a fiberglass core. So we where fighting for a good 20 minutes until I used my hand to block his sword. As I did so his sword came down on my middle finger and pushed it downward. Yes it was very painful but in game I had lost my arm so now I could only use one of my hands to fight him. After awhile of fighting I could take the pain so I went inside. I told my dad what had happened he looked at my now purple finger and said I was fine. But my mom had noticed the pain didn't go away and was getting worse. She looked at it and decided I was to go to the ER. The doctor ask what had happened and I told him. He laughed and we got an X ray of it. Turns out I had broken my middle finger sword fighting with foam sword. The saddest part was I was 13 at the time.

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    McLizard
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #28

    One time in sixth grade. I was walking to the bus and I fell down 3 flight of stairs. I was wearing a dress and heels cuz it was picture day. And when I landed on the bottom my dress flew up as my crush was walking down the stairs. Lets just say we didn't speak and I had a broken ankle

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    Ivy Chambers
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #29

    my sister's moment. at night, after I (not my sister) went to the bathroom to put lotion on my hands, my sister found my glasses in her bed. she walks over to my room and starts talking. i come back to my room from the bathroom and find my sister lecturing the cat about being irresponsible for 1 minute because she did not see that i wasnt in my room.

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    KittyComics
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #30

    So my younger brother has a terrible peanut allergy. One day him and I were at the park and he started playing with this little boy about his age. After a while of them just playing, the boy runs to his mom and brings with him peanuts to share with my brother. I immediately see the danger and start to run over, but my little brother, in his horror of seeing peanuts begins to scream. The problem was that he can't pronounce the "nt" sound, so of course this three year old kid is yelling in a public park "MOMMY SAID I CANT EAT PENIS." Anyways, we went home right after.

    Report

    Final score:
    6points
    hispanic! at the disco
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #31

    one time when my mom had guests over i out on her bras on my eyes and made a whole bbc documentary about and i remember one quote from it: "the common house fly buzzes rapidly around his food this is the only amount he can salvage and he must conserve it but he spotted a predator from his telescope like eyes as he gets off his dead host" i was saying that loudly my prey was my mom i was sucking on her and the predator was my sister.

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    Cat Nip
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #32

    I was laughing while holding chicken salt and it went up my nose. Now my friends never let me forget it.

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    Princess Procrastination
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #33

    Not sure if this is REALLY funny but when I was younger (about grade 2/year3) I was playing with my friends and like all the weird things young kids do, we had a screaming competition. Of course, I was known as the playground "Knot Master" because kids came to me if they needed me to tie something so I thought I would win buuuuuuttttttt I won a little TOO well. When it was my turn, I screamed so loud that everyone there stopped because they thought the teacher blew the whistle (when they do recess is over.) so If I could blush, I would be red in the face. The teacher luckily did not know who screamed and told the kids to carry on playing.

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    Jozie Annabeth
    Add photo comments
    POST
    sendmorerum avatar
    Up All Night
    Up All Night
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you thought that if you can tie knots better than anyone, you can scream better than anyone, but it turned out your scream sounds like a whistle?

    Vote comment up
    3
    3points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #34

    (this is my brother's story) while i was in school and my brother wasn't, my brother & mum came to pick me up. while they were waiting for me, my brother went to the toilet, but since he was young and it was diarrhoea, he didn't make it in time. he was 4 years old, so he takes his poo smeared undies off, holds them in front of him, and then runs all the way to my mum. when she asks what he was doing, he said and i quote "don't worry mummy, i ran so fast no body could see me" we've never let him forget it. kids are hilarious.

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    yellow
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #35

    I was on Holiday with my husband and my 2 years old son, he was learning to talk and missed some letters.. we were in a pleasant sea city with a lot of decorative fountains but we didn't want our son to put hand in the water because it was dirty and he used to put fingers in his mouth. So we repeatedly said to him "la Fontana è sporca" "'The fountain is dirty.." but how he answered was not exactly the same " pocca pontana!" ..that sounded more as "dirty whore!!" .. we passed half of our holiday trying to catch a 2 years old baby screaming profanity in the middle of the street every time he saw a fountain ( in the promenade there were about 15 fountain!!!)

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    Francesca Annoni
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #36

    One time when i was in the middle of class, my french teacher who was a woman, let a ginormous fart rip, in the middle of class, we all started laughing our ass off, INCLUDING the teacher, then someone called out "That isnt very lady like" She looked him dead in the eye and said "Fuck you and your stereotypes" I got her mcdonalds for lunch because of that

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    rycbar123
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #37

    So when I was in like 3rd grade, I went over to my friends house for a sleepover. I was so happy because I hadn't been to her house in a really long time, but I was ready to go. So I got there, and had lots of fun. Then we thought it would be fun to act like dogs (as 3rd graders do) and drink out of bowls. Except bowls hold a LOT MORE WATER than you would expect them to. So, naturally, it made us feel sick. So we decided to get some rest. That morning I woke up and felt something, ya know, down there. I noticed with fright that I had peed the bed. My friend wasn't up yet, and it wasn't THAT much, so I decided, being a stupid kid, that it would just go away. Well. After breakfast my friend and I came back into the room and immediatly were hit by the most terrible smell. PEE. She said, "Do you smell that?" And I panicked and just said , "Yeah wow must have been the cat." I BLAMED IT ON THE CAT. And that friend never knew i was lying until like 2 weeks ago when i told her. So yeah. Super embarassing and please upvote this!!!!!!!!

    Report

    Final score:
    5points
    Charlie Moss
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #38

    Ohh, another one of my favorite things was i went spirinting across the playground and my shoe came flying off, before it landed smack into the face of my childhood bully. He left me alone after that

    Report

    Final score:
    4points
    rycbar123
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #39

    (Excuse my english)
    So one time in sixth grade, my friend, who is the class clown, was sitting beside me and acting like the clown that she is, doing funny stuff, so the class laughed along with the teacher. I laughed too, but I couldn't stop even after the whole class stopped and the teacher continued the lesson. I was laughing so hard that my lungs were empty of air and I couldn't take a breath. No one noticed since I wasn't even making a sound. I kept laughing at myself. I tried to sign to my friend that I was choking, but she just looked at me in horror while I laughed the hell out of my soul. I pressed my face on the table while laughing. Then I noticed the class was strangely quiet so I looked up and they were all staring at me, including the teacher. Someone pointed out that my face was so red. I laughed out of embarrassment.The teacher came over and was like
    "omg r u ok?"
    Yes,sir, I'm perfectly fine. Just regularly choking cuz I laughed too hard.
    He offered me water, but seriously what the heck, how could I drink while laugh-choking, I will choke even more.
    I slammed my hands on the table out of desperation, and I just rest my head on the desk in defeat and continued dying.

    Report

    Final score:
    4points
    Aisha Boudy
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #40

    When I was younger, and still now, I had troubles with putting seasoning on food. One time, I was given the salt shaker to put on my chips, and I was shaking it so hard that the lid came off. I even said, and I quote "But mommy, I like it like that...". Another time I was putting oregano on my pizza and yet again, I lost focus and put so much... that there was more herbs than cheese. Another blond moment was when I was sprinkling cinnamon on a cake... and me being super smart, breathed it in through my mouth and nose at the same time...

    Report

    Final score:
    3points
    Miruku_Spilt
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #41

    We were in Narita Airport in Japan, on a layover on the way to Taiwan, and my sister and I really needed to pee. Well, Japan has these spray toilets that spray your ass with water (I think they're painful af, but whatever). I was in one stall and my sister in the one next to me. I suddenly heard my sister's shoes running around on the tiles in the stall next door, and then immediately after that the plapping of water on the tiles. Turns out the water that was spraying her butt was way too hot and in a fit of stupidity she jumped off the toilet and now that sucker was spraying water all over the tiles of the bathroom. She managed to turn it off before we all drowned but she walked out of that bathroom with confused looks from others and deep satisfaction knowing how well she powerwashed the bathroom floor that day.

    Report

    Final score:
    3points
    satan hears a scream
    Add photo comments
    POST
    lmellie21 avatar
    Flare
    Flare
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those are bidets, which are much more sanitary that toilet paper and I have heard they do a much better job.

    Vote comment up
    0
    0points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #42

    So am a irish dancer and when i was at a comp i was told that my wig would be fine and was nice and securely. But of course i knew it was not. So as it turned out i was almost finished and had one step left but of course when i said my wig will be fine, THE FRONT OF MY WIG CAME OUT. So when i was getting my score i found out that i lost points due to the wig incident. So if you read this remember if something does not feel right tell someone and get it fixed up.

    Report

    Final score:
    3points
    KittyKayla125
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #43

    Not recently, but when I was first learning how to swim, my family and I went on vacation to a hotel with a massive pool. I wasn't confident swimming so I had to jump to my Dad. One time, I was later than my Dad to arrive, and by the time I got there he was already swimming around, but there was another guy there, who at the time looked identical to me. I was panicking because both guys where just standing there staring at me, and in the end took a leap of faith - to the wrong dude. He caught me and gave me back to my Dad but I was so embarrassed!

    Report

    Final score:
    3points
    Jo666
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #44

    Right after lunch one day, I got the hiccups. I went into the school library to check on something before my next class. My mouth was slightly open and I let out a "HIC!" so loud that everybody in the room heard it and looked up at me. I clapped my hand over my mouth and fled.

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    Lorraine R
    Add photo comments
    POST
    archiemoore avatar
    arjelio mas
    arjelio mas
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How to stop hiccups: Rub your finger back and forth across the roof of your mouth. Nurses in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit would rub their fingers on the roof of the babies' mouths if they were hiccupping. It affects how they take oxygen into their lungs in a bad way. And quick, so it's important to stop that as soon as can be. It works fast. It works if you do it to yourself. Usually, only one or two more hiccups before it stops. I've done it on the dog a few times and it works for the little puppy, as well.

    Vote comment up
    6
    6points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #45

    So this was when I was wayyyy younger, like 3, so about 2009? Anyway, my parents were doing the finishing touches on their house, and they had a plumber guy come in. Long story short, I ran straight up to the man, looked him in the eye and grabbed his love-handle. For no reason, I just grabbed it. He was really startled, and my parents had a good laugh.

    (My parents told me about this a few days ago, and I was so embarrassed, my god)

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    SuavePotato
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #46

    Once when I was about three years old me and my friend were having a playdate at my house we went outside in our underwear and took the hose we went in the driveway and pretended we were peeing we got very wet ( also we have neighbors and people watching! ) we are still friends now and we still do crazy stuff!!!

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    puppylover895
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ursulahomestead avatar
    Magical dolphin so like yea 😎 (Submission author)
    Magical dolphin so like yea 😎
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i am sooo sorry for making this post and lets just say i did the wording wrong also in my one post that i made there were two memes with swears i am so sorry about that i look at it now and its a really bad post does anyone know how to turn a draft into a post?

    Vote comment up
    0
    0points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #47

    So basically at my high school school there was a door that goes to this garage thing and if the door closes behind u, ur locked in. So in 9th grade I got into the jazz band that all the seniors were in and was the youngest person to ever make it in.

    After the first band rehearsal, the main way out was locked so I opened the garage door and it shut behind me. This was on a Friday afternoon so I was scared that I would be stuck there for the whole weekend. I also left my phone at home so I was screwed. I started to bang on the door and I was nearly in tears.

    The seniors thought I was a terrorist so didn't let me in. Finally one of them let me in and was like 'oh its just Joe' they all sighed. So basically at the end of the band rehearsal the main way was locked so u have to go the garage way and wait for the music teacher to open the door for us so we could leave.

    OOF

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    Lasagne I
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #48

    I'm cringing remembering this one. This was back in the very early days of internet when everyone was using AOL and dial up. Online flirting/dating was pretty new. I remember posting some kind of personals ad and got lots of responses. There was one from a guy called writing from a @hotmail address. (I'm dying inside just thinking about what I did next). For reasons I do not know, I decided that Hotmail must be some kind of porn repository and that people using it were pervy. So I responded to this nice man, who had written a nice email, that I wasn't going to be fooled by him and he could keep his smut to himself. I did not explain why I was responding thus. He must have thought I was nuts. I did not hear from him again. Some time later, I discovered Hotmail was a perfectly legitimate thing and I have been hanging my head in embarrassment ever since (which is 20+ years now!)

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    Jo Choto
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #49

    So when I was like five or six my mom read me and my twin sister my side of the mountain. We were so inspired by how the boy lived in the wilderness that we tried running away. Did I mention all we packed was salt, nutmeg, (don’t ask) swimsuits, and stuffed toys? Anyway, we made our way down the driveway in our swimsuits (it was raining) and camped underneath a tree. I don’t know what our definition of running away was, but we just slept in the front yard. We found my dads sledgehammer as well and started practicing our hunting techniques.

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    Opazi Marcha
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #50

    I was sitting at lunch with all my friends. They dared me to chug a thing of milk. I said sure why not. I start and then someone says something really funny. I laugh and milk starts coming out of my nose. Then I tip the thing of milk and it spills all on me. My friends all laughed. Of course it was at breakfast. I had to go all day with the milk on me. They will never let me forget that time. Why does it always happen to me. Just why.

    Report

    Final score:
    2points
    Kaeden
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #51

    One time when i was in the middle of class, my french teacher who was a woman, let a ginormous fart rip, in the middle of class, we all started laughing our ass off, INCLUDING the teacher, then someone called out "That isnt very lady like" She looked him dead in the eye and said "Fuck you and your stereotypes" I got her mcdonalds for lunch because of that

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    rycbar123
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #52

    I went to a party as a teen. I had been drinking quite a bit before hand. When I got to the party I walked in the living room and went to lean up against the wall. Well I swiftly fell in the closet. Everyone told me it was like watching a cartoon. I did promptly get up and went on with the party.🤪🤪

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    Panda with Heart
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #53

    Sometimes me, my dad, or my sister, (usually my dad) will say something that makes my mom laugh. Hard. She'll laugh so hard that I'll start laughing. Then she'll calm down a bit, then look at my dad, (b/c he usually starts it) and starts laughing again. It's pretty funny if you experience it first-hand.

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    Simonne
    Add photo comments
    POST
    lmellie21 avatar
    Flare
    Flare
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this weird? Scientific studies have shown that laughter is contagious!

    Vote comment up
    2
    2points
    Vote comment down
    reply
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    #54

    This happened when I was 6 or 7. I was jumping on my bed at night like the monkeys in a certain nursery rhyme. I fell off the bed like the monkeys did, but I did not 'bonk my head' like the monkeys did; I broke my arm!

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    Flare
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #55

    When I was 3, my family was on vacation with my godfather who used to tease me about everything. He was just playing with me but I took it to the heart like kids do. One night at the port, where all the bars and fairstands were I wanted to get a bouncy ball. He took me to the table and payed with intention to took one himself, I could barely reach the table. Soooo the balls were put in a piramid, there was more than 100 and I took one from the bottom of the piramid, each and every ball fell from the table and started to bounce around, some even fell in the sea. Salesman lost his shit so my godfather had to run, he grabed me and we run far away from the people and noise but you could still hear the guy cursing and screaming, it was so funny. My parents had a good laugh, meaning I finally got my revenge on him. It was the bast vacation ever

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    Наталија Мојсин
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #56

    once a teacher of a school was on a walk and and said hello and i thought it was someone else and then she got mad and shouted hello and then she realized i was not her student.

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    bossy
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #57

    I was on a school field trip, and we were walking down a mountain to go back to our cabins. I was walking next to my best friend, and little did I know that my crush was walking right behind me (It was pitch dark). Anyways, my friend thought that it would be a great idea to turn off her flashlight, and we were left in complete darkness. I tripped over a root, fell, and then immediately my friend tripped over me. Just as I was getting up, my crush stepped on my friend's hand and took a header. Me, being an idiot, pretended that I didn't know my friend and blamed it all on her.

    Report

    Final score:
    1point
    Sammy Guy 15
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #58

    It was mother's day when my sister came out and she was wearing the same jeans that I always wore and a hoodie that used to be one of the only things I'd ever wear. The worse thing was it looked really similar to what I was wearing and my mum got a photo for Facebook?

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Elixir
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #59

    I have 2 so when I was in 3rd grade me and my class were at lunch so My friend bit in to an orange and juice squirted out on me and I had an orange to so I bit in to mine but instead of the juice spraying on him it went into my nose and eyes then he never let me forget it. Second one so my friend had a pull up bar but I couldn’t reach it so I jumps to get a hold of it but then the pull up bar came right of and I slammed into the ground with the pull up bar landing on my crotch.

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Made You Look
    Add photo comments
    POST
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #60

    Uh... ok hold on imma think... well there was this one time I was rubbing my finger on the roof of my mouth bc I thought it would be random, but I made this really loud”BURAAAAP” noise... which scared me so much I bit my finger

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Elizabeth Tunney
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #61

    Uh... ok hold on imma think... well there was this one time I was rubbing my finger on the roof of my mouth bc I thought it would be random, but I made this really loud”BURAAAAP” noise... which scared me so much I bit my finger

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Elizabeth Tunney
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #62

    Uh... ok hold on imma think... well there was this one time I was rubbing my finger on the roof of my mouth bc I thought it would be random, but I made this really loud”BURAAAAP” noise... which scared me so much I bit my finger

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Elizabeth Tunney
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #63

    Uh... ok hold on imma think... well there was this one time I was rubbing my finger on the roof of my mouth bc I thought it would be random, but I made this really loud”BURAAAAP” noise... which scared me so much I bit my finger

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Elizabeth Tunney
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #64

    Uh... ok hold on imma think... well there was this one time I was rubbing my finger on the roof of my mouth bc I thought it would be random, but I made this really loud”BURAAAAP” noise... which scared me so much I bit my finger

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Elizabeth Tunney
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #65

    During lunch i was trying to throw my trash away before it was time. i was sneaking up behind one of the teachers...then i slipped on a wet floor and landed on my bottom. my friends were laughing, and so was i. This is 1/3 times i've fell like that.😬😬

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Monday Fuss
    Add photo comments
    POST
    sophiaschiltgen avatar
    I ❤️ 🍫
    I ❤️ 🍫
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once that happened to me but I slipped and fell into the mud. Oof indeed

    Vote comment up
    1
    1point
    Vote comment down
    reply
    #66

    I was feeding fish (ironically) at my grandma's house. Somehow I managed to fall in, killing my turtle in the process. My parents didn't even come to help me, as they thought it was the neighbors. So there I am. Lying there like a beached whale, with turtle juice all over me. Not pleasant. Kinda funny. More sad. Oh well.

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Tom Fish
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #67

    I was feeding fish (ironically) at my grandma's house. Somehow I managed to fall in, killing my turtle in the process. My parents didn't even come to help me, as they thought it was the neighbors. So there I am. Lying there like a beached whale, with turtle juice all over me. Not pleasant. Kinda funny. More sad. Oh well.

    Report

    Final score:
    0points
    Tom Fish
    Add photo comments
    POST
    #68

    This submission is hidden. Click here to view.

    Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

    Follow Bored Panda on Google News!