Hey Pandas, What Is A Time You Saw Favoritism?

What’s a time when your parents or even a teacher favored someone over you?

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My little sister was by far favored. One time she punched my dad out of anger and got away with it.

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Khloieo

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Alexia 2 months ago

Golden child?

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My entire life.

I’m adopted. My adoptive parents had one bio child, and I was adopted solely to be a sibling for her. My mother did not want her to be an “only child”.

I was abused by my mother in literally every way that it’s possible to abuse someone. When I was a small child, she would pick me up and throw me across the room, beat me with whatever she had in her hand at the time, kick me, strangle me, yell and scream at me, and one time when I was 6 years old she pressed a gun into the soft underside of my chin and told me that she would kill me.

My sister never so much as got spanked or yelled at. She was perfect. She could do no wrong.

I found out I was adopted when I was 7. Once I knew I was adopted, my mom added in some new flavors of abuse: telling me that my bio parents were alcoholic junkies/d**g addicts and that I would end up just like them. She would scream at me that I should be “grateful” that she had adopted me, because otherwise I’d be a gutter-trash whore just like my mother. Whenever I needed to take a Tylenol for a headache/etc., my mother would say “See? You’re already becoming an addict just like your biological mother.”

She would routinely tell me that I was adopted only so that my sister (her child) would have a sibling. I was worth nothing; I had no value outside of being my sister’s sibling.

Fortunately, my adoptive dad was a wonderful man and a fantastic father. I was 100% his daughter, and he showed me that in so many ways. He loved me and treated me no different than he treated his bio child. Unfortunately, he was a weak-willed person, and my mother was incredibly abusive towards him. She would yell, scream, and throw things at him. She would hit him. She would even take a kitchen knife and slice his forearms and back until his shirt was in tatters and he was covered in blood. He never stopped her or fought back.

My dad had an accident when I was 18 and sustained a catastrophic brain injury. He was completely disabled and was bedridden, in diapers with a feeding tube, for 21 years. He died in 2021.

I wish I could say that the favoritism of my sister finally ended, and I wish I could say that my mom no longer abused me. Sadly, I cannot. I’m 42 and my sister is still the golden child, and my mother still verbally abuses me on a daily basis (she hasn’t dared physically abuse me in a while, as she is nearly 80 now.) My sister also grew up to be exactly like our mother (surprise!) and she verbally abuses me in the exact same ways. She used to hit me as well, but she knows now that if she tries it, I’ll call the cops.

Someday I’ll escape. Someday.

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LakotaWolf (she/her)

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Khloieo 2 months ago

Yes you will The whole story to mine Is that I too was adopted. My whole family is. My little sister was the ideal child. Smart and athletic and agrees to every thing my parents say. She get away with anything and everything. My parents have never hit her. I have scars on my body. My parents have also have said they wanted me ded. Justice will prevail!!!

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I see it all the time at work.
One person gets away with being rude but she's nice to the customers and gets away with doing things her own way. Even if it means messing up the order of the products we put put out. But she not only gets away with it, she gets rewarded, repeatedly.

Another girl gets away with saying really raunchy things. She sounds and dresses like she came from the back of Spencer's. Curses like a sailor, too. Actually I think a sailor would blush. If anyone else spoke like her we'd get fired real fast. But the manager loves her and her lewdness.

Another girl has become really hostile towards me for no reason. Pushing, shoving, ignoring important work-related communication attempts by me. Even a "Hey, there's someone on the floor next to you that looks important." she'll just give me the cold shoulder. But she's totally cool speaking to others and she makes earrings for the manager and supervisor.

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StrangeOne

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As the eldest daughter, I was scapegoated and parentified.

I was constantly punished, threatened and scolded for my younger brother's mistakes, because "he's just a little child, and it was surely you who taught him to be so checky". I was 8 y.o. when it first happened. Over the years I grew bitter and resentful.

I was constantly reminded by my father that "we've already spent too much for your upbringing". Technically speaking, they spent much more money with my brother: they paid the full taxes for his college (while I got a tax-free scholarship for the whole college duration).

I got no help and no good word when I moved away from their house ("that's your business, deal with it"). But they did buy a brand-new car for my brother, because he had whined that all his friends had one.

I never heard anything but criticism and insults from my parents. Nothing of what I achieved was ever good enough for them. My mother had the nerve to tell me "you were just lucky to land a good job, that's why you are well-paid and could afford to buy an apartment". My brother still lives with them (he's 38), while my mother cooks, cleans and tends to all his needs.

They are all genuinely surprised that I went low contact with them.

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Alexia

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Hey Pandas, What Is A Time You Saw Favoritism?

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