Of all of my troublesome emotions, I would have to say that anger is the emotion that brings out the worst in me. I come to that conclusion because it's only when I'm angry do I get thoughts of revenge or vengefulness in general.

Before I began DBT, I would be quite angry. I learned that anger is a choice and that I had been choosing to hang onto something that someone else did rather than let it go and be content. I can name only a few times on one hand that anger truly got the best of me, but the fact still stands, I let anger get the best of me and those were moments I could have chosen differently.

Anger always brought out the worst in me in a few ways. My sarcasm would be less humor and more hurtful. Relationships with friends and lovers have suffered. I allowed anger to cloud my judgement of others. I would want to get revenge or be vengeful/hurtful. I sought out ways to shut the other person down. I would revert to narcissistic tactics unknowingly.

I think it's important to remember that anger is absolutely a choice, even if it feels like it's something forced onto us. Yes, that energy can be directed toward us and even be hurtful, but anger never needs a response nor does it need a reaction. The best way I've found to deal with anger is to remove myself from what's angering me but also process if the situation deserves a reaction or response. What would happen if I reacted? What would happen if I responded? The answer is always: nothing good, nothing helpful.