Hey Pandas, What Are Your Tips For Battling Dysphoria? (Closed)

Not for me, but for those of us who may have questions about this. If there's any transphobia here, I will find the perpetrators and steal their knuckles (beware).

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For trans guys/ people trying to look more masculine;
Baggy clothing, especially oversized hoodies
Clench your jaw a bit to make a jaw seem more defined
Good posture = taller = more masculine
Shoulders back and out, but not so much so that it exaggerates ur chest or looks forced
Look forwards instead of down
Manspread like no man has spread before
Act confident!
Use a wider stance, especially when walking
For your voice, relax your throat and then try to speak more deeply. Swallow before doing this (swallowing resets your vocal folds). Tensing up makes your pitch rise and sound more feminine.
If you're very short, using platform shoes may help, as long as they're not very feminine or super noticeable.

Dysphoria is different for everyone but personally I find that painting my nails, especially more feminine colours, gives me dysphoria. I've never had any issues with necklaces/bracelets or earrings tho so that's nice.

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15points

crowspectre (he/they)

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For those of you who want to defy the gender binary, here are my tips!

I reccoment short hair or short medium hair, especially with dye (hair dye always looks gay as hell). Genderless hairstyles such as buns also work, especially for amab people.
Mix gendered accessories! I like fancy earrings and nail polish + a binder and hoodie/sweatpants.
Look as queer as possible- if you're obviously gay, people are going to be more likely to not try and fit you into a gender binary
Let your voice contradict what gender your face might evoke (I have a pretty masculine face, so I often just let my voice be fairly high/feminine when I'm feeling more nonbinary, and someone with a more feminine face might wna too drop their voice)
Use the tips that help you look more like the gender opposite your assigned gender at birth. If you don't follow all of them, you'll end up in a more neutral space.
Experiment! Something will probably end up working out for you. Good luck!

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Final score:

14points

crowspectre (he/they)

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I'm not trans myself, but my Mother was. She was born in the 40's, and couldn't really even TRY to be her true self until she divorced at 50 and by then, trying to overcome long ingrained habits/mindset/etc. was.... HARD.

Here's some things I learned from her, for trans-men..

1.) Eyebrows - if you're still in the closet so to speak, whatever you do, if at ALL possible, DON'T sculpt/pluck your eyebrows. Some people can really suffer from that over time, because it thins them out or they just stop growing back in which can be a pain later in life. I don't mean you should go through life with a unibrow, but just... be cautious.

2.) Leg hair/under arm hair/etc. - if you've been shaving for awhile to fit in and decide to quit for good, yes, your hair won't necessarily look "natural" anymore. It might be thicker/more wiry than ever. If so, invest in a good skin moisturizer that's HEAVY on Vitamin E. If not, you can actually buy bottles of it. Slather it on yourself, especially after bathing.

After awhile, this can soften the hairs and feed your follicles. It doesn't always work for everyone, and in varying degrees, but it definitely does help.

3.) Breast binding - Invest in a thin, slightly stretchy wool or synthetic. Both are moisture wicking to keep you dry and you can get a MUCH better wrap than using cotton. Also, start your binding UNDER your breasts, this helps to prevent a sweaty heat rash which sucks.

4.) Consider boxer shorts - When you're a trans-man, the options for underwear as usually SUPER limited because you don't have the package you need for tightey whities or boxer briefs. If you don't want to stuff (using a pair of socks or padding, etc.), wear boxers under your clothes.

Menstruating of course might necessitate the need for panties. My Mom would only wear "granny panties" as she called them. The much higher waist on them made her feel a little better.

5.) Like everyone here has been saying, use baggy clothes. But beyond that, start to shop EXCLUSIVELY in the men's section. Depending on your size, you might need to shop in boy's, etc. This will help your mindset, but also..

--Depending where you live, men's and women's clothing are just MADE different, and to people in the know, you can tell just by looking. Not just the cut of the jeans or the shirt, but men's buttons are on 1 side, while women's buttons are on the other. Evens men's SOCKS are made differently.

--Shoes: Sneakers, Vans, etc. go without saying, but don't forget the genius of a good old pair of leather, reinforced work boots. Most are waterproof, the arch and ankle support can be excellent on some, and the tread is very sturdy. Winter or summer, they can be your best friend.

6.) Attitude - My Mom always said trying to be confident as a trans-man (or woman for that matter) is like giving birth. Trying to squeeze a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon. Why? Because you're trying to force a confidence past all of the ingrained b******t you were raised in/grew up hearing/seeing/etc. So it can make you come across as awkward, feel more awkward, etc. Instead, stop trying and start "being".

She said that when you've spent most of your life being forced into something you're not, you never really know WHO you are. She meant your REAL personality, your REAL attitude - which is where trying to focus too much on being confident can REALLY backfire.

Her advice was to "Let it all go! Stop thinking so much and just BE."

There's a lot more I could say or post, but I'm always a rambler so I'll stop here. Again this is just my Mom, everyone's experience is different.

(DISCLAIMER (for down votes): My Mom always wanted me to call her "she/her", so I'm not deliberately disrespecting her.)

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Final score:

13points

jolie laide

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Transguy here: finding a partner who makes you feel safe and goes out of their way to make you feel good.

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Final score:

13points

Junior Larkin

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I’m cis, but i use this for when i’m feeling dysmorphic. Shower in the dark! so easy! very relaxing actually

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Final score:

8points

DustTea (she/her)

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I color my eyebrows in extra thick, makes me look and feel a lot more masculine

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Final score:

8points

Zane Lumagrowl

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In the very rare occurrence I get dysphoria I just feel miserable and wait for it to be over

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Final score:

8points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he)

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I had a former neighbor that recently came out as trans. She would originally dress in the most butch clothes and boots. When she finally started wearing women's clothes, she seemed to be stuck in the 80's...(leg warmers, padded shoulders on her jackets.) Her roommate and I called a halt to it and took her shopping for a more modern look. I also took her to a friend that taught her how to do makeup (I haven't worn make up in 25 years.) Before I moved, I saw her standing out waiting for a ride. I drove up, rolled my window down and said "Now you look fantastic!" She blushed.

So my advise is..being a woman can be complicated when it comes to clothes and makeup. Lean on friends to help you if you are not sure where to turn for good cheap fashion or how to accomplish a certain look. Girls stick together and try to help each other as much as possible. We got you!

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Final score:

8points

Carol Emory

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I can't speak for everyone else, but as a transmasc person who doesn't have access to a binder, referring to my breasts as man tiddies and wearing bulky jackets helps a lot.

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Final score:

7points

Me Oh My (He/They)

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#10

I'm seeing so many posts recommending hoodies, but here's my tip for transmascs in hot climates.

Short-Sleeved button downs do a lot to hide things. It's a loose, woven fabric, so it's going to tend to stay away from boobs and curves, etc. It helps to buy them in the mens section, and if you can get a shirt slightly oversized it shouldn't fit funny on your chest. Try shopping around as well, a button-down from Kohls fit weird on my chest, but one from Old Navy works really well. Also, dark colors and tucking your shirt into your jeans will help hide your body even better.

Hope this helps, you're all valid and lovely, have a good day!

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Final score:

7points