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Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of The Most Unfortunate Names You Have Come Across In Your Life? (Closed)
Everyone has a different story… and some of them are truly hilarious! I'm pretty sure most of us have had the chance to hear something weird or silly when it comes to people's names or maybe even something that could've left one outright confused as to what just happened.
So, Pandas, tell us the first thing that popped into your mind when reading the title—we will be waiting for your answers in the comments!
Make sure to keep your answers respectful and PG friendly!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
my cousin. Her mom named her Shirley. normal right? But then she married a man with the last name "Boring". So now she is surely boring.
Final score:
38points
RELATED:
#2
I worked as a file clerk and part of my job was changing addresses. I found a guy in our system whose legal name was Captain Awesome.
Final score:
36points
#3
I know someone named Jenna Tolles. And when I was in high school I met twins name Lemonjello and Orangello (Pronounced La-mon-gel-o and Or-ron-gel-o). Their mother was obsessed with Orange and Lemon Jello while pregnant with them.
Final score:
29points
Neurotic_Octopus 4 years ago
I think my mom taught those kids in elementary! They had classmates named Saraha and Mohave, too.
#4
my mom named me baker. i can't believe she looked at little baby me and went "looks like a baker"
Final score:
28points
#5
I have two: Justin Thyme and Kay Oss.....
Final score:
23points
#6
Na-a (prounounced NaDASHa)
Final score:
23points
#7
We once met a pediatrician called Dr. Pepper.
Final score:
23points
#8
Dick Butthole. No joke. Couldn't bring up his name without gales of laughter!
Final score:
22points
#9
Ellery. Name itself is fine. Told me I could call her Celery if I forgot her name.
Final score:
20points
#10
Purple Dong - I have email/business card, if it's not believable.
Final score:
19points
#12
I once ran across a child named Unique Johnson
Final score:
18points
#13
Dick Sweet was a politician in New Hampshire when I was a kid
Final score:
18points
#14
My Eye Doctor's last name was Doctor - so he was Doctor Doctor
Final score:
18points
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
Lol, there's a kid in my class with the last name Boctor. So I was like, "Mom, if this girl ever becomes a doctor, would we have to call her Doctor Boctor?"
#15
I also had a friend with the last name Umbridge
Needless to say, she really pissed off the Harry Potter fans in the class
Final score:
18points
#16
Eric Ericson- wait for it- the third.
Final score:
18points
#17
Eastasia Lee. East Asia is where her mom was born.
Final score:
17points
Vanta Black 4 years ago
I guess it's a bit more original than naming your kid after the city they were conceived in, and "Taiwan Lee" just sounds like some guy called Lee from Taiwan.
#18
I knew a kid named Barry Mason. Every time he introduced himself, people thought he said Perry Mason and they would start humming the theme song to the show.
Final score:
16points
#19
My mom knew a kid named John Porta ... attendance was last name, first name.
Final score:
16points
#20
In fifth grade, met a boy named Ransom. How much would his parents pay for him?
Final score:
15points
#21
I knew a brother and sister named Rocky and Candy Mountain. My dad has friends (brothers) named Snowball and Ridgerunner.
Final score:
15points
#22
I had Santa Claus in my classroom in France. Pierre Noel, which sounds like Père Noel (santa claus). They are both really common names here but combined together, come on parents?
Final score:
14points
#24
not a person, but nowata lake (sounds like no water lake)
Final score:
12points
#25
in fifth grade i had to deal with someone called Red Bag
first name red, last name bag. i nearly died of laughter the first time i ever met him.
Final score:
12points
#26
I knew a family with the last name Butt, and they named there kids Hairy Butt and Rosy Butt :P
Final score:
12points
Cecilia Herrera 4 years ago
Shame on those parents. If they wanted to see "funny" name combinations, then they should have had their OWN names legally changed, and then given their children more conventional names. This reminds me of a long ago governor of Texas, James Hogg. He governed from 1881 - 1885. He named his daughter, Ima Hogg. Although, legend has it that she had a sister named Ura Hogg, this has never been proven. (Perhaps some joker's wishful thinking.)
#27
I went to school with a Lee King and girl named Kay Hayday!
Final score:
11points
#28
My husband worked with a guy named Dick Butthole
Final score:
11points
#29
I worked as the phone operator at a bank and one of the loan officers names was Shithead. I kid you not. It was pronounced (shith heed) and when people called to speak to him - they ALWAYS spelled his name if they didn't know how he pronounced it!
Final score:
11points
Chicago Dog Lover 4 years ago
There is an American football player with the last named Beathard. Pronounced beth-erd by the tv announcer.
#30
We know a family whose last name is Gross. On the other hand, we also know a family whose last name is Best!
Final score:
11points
Vanta Black 4 years ago
Neither one of these is that uncommon. Especially those of us who know of the legendary George Best.
#31
I knew a kid with the last name Theocharopolous. He was Greek. It was always rough to watch this fifth grade boy spell out his last name to the teacher as they pronounced it wrong over and over again.
Final score:
11points
#32
Ophelia Butts
Final score:
10points
#33
Homer
(no offense to any homers but you gotta be the coolest kid or you are gonna get made fun of)
Final score:
9points
#34
I think I have the winner here. I was waiting in line at a local Walmart (wait for it), and the woman in front of my sister and Had two adorable children, and I asked what their names were ... one was named Trigger and the other Shooter. And she just announced it as though their names were generic. All we could say was “oh” (but I assure you by the time we reached the car we passed “oh” by leaps and bounds) ...
Final score:
9points
#35
Peter Enis. Not a big deal except his work email was penis@XXXXX.com
Final score:
9points
Vanta Black 4 years ago (edited)
How the hell did they miss that one? Oh, maybe it was too small to be noticed.
#36
My aunt had a dentist named Dr. Lipshitz and I had a dentist named Dr Chew
Final score:
8points
#37
I went to school with someone called andrew peacock. unfortunately the abreviation for andrew is drew. his nickname was droopy
Final score:
8points
#38
I was once scrolling through social media and a man was about to have a child, specifically a boy. He had posted a picture asking for names. The top comment was first name Jack and middle name Ingof. A week later he posted a picture of his sons birth certificate... let's just say Jack's going to have an interesting childhood.
Final score:
8points
#39
On an old edition of a show called Truth or Consequences, contestants were given a week to see who would find people with the most unusual names. Some of the names they found were:
Eye Lash
Ai Pucker
Christmas Eve
and siblings of the Ware family named:
Tupper, Silver, and Under.
Final score:
8points
#40
My friend's name is Maddie Doug (short for Madeline). Not so bad if you think about it, until you realize her name is basically Matty Dog.
Final score:
7points
#41
i had a teacher in high school and her first name was "sarah" with the last name "Hart" and her email was the best to look at and always made people laugh.
Final score:
6points
#42
I have a vendor named Schwettie Wang :)
Final score:
6points
#43
mrs. and mr. butts.
Final score:
6points
#44
The current editor of the Huddersfield Examiner. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Wayne Ankers.
Final score:
6points
#45
My dad was a Pediatrician, here are some of my favorites: Shannon Fannon III (yes, a boy) Hard Wair, and Female (pronounced Femily) "the nurse named her for us" this was before they would put baby girl [last name]
Final score:
6points
#46
There is an artist featured right now in another thread on Board Panda for raising a lot of money for charity by making crappie drawings of peoples pets. His name is Hercule Van Wolfwinkle.
Final score:
6points
#47
I worked for Build a Bear and a mom came in with twin boys named Havoc and Chaos.
Final score:
6points
#48
A nurse (I think) that accompanied me while I was getting my wisdom teeth out was named Cybrina. Not Sabrina. Cybrina. I also ran into a cashier named Princess once as well.
Final score:
5points
#49
Oh and I have a last name that is the same as a food product, and went to school with a Candy Store and a Candy Kane.
Final score:
5points
#50
Jenny Taylor. Sounds normal, right? That's what I thought until I heard someone call her "Genitalia" behind her back. Once you've heard it, you can't un-hear it. And I bet there are a lot of Jenny Taylors out there!!
Final score:
5points
#51
I once knew a girl named "Heavenly Haven"
Final score:
5points
#52
Dr. Fillerup, Obstetrics and Gynecology, of course.
(I guess it was that or work at a gas station.)
Final score:
5points
#53
When I was quite young, my mother told me she went to grade school with a couple of sisters from the Hogg family. Their first names were Ima and Yora.
I don't know, I think she made that up.
Final score:
5points
#54
Jkmn. My friend's aunt is a nurse. When she asked the mother how to pronounce it, she replied, "It's Noel."
Final score:
4points
aw man i'm all outta cash 4 years ago
It's a joke for those who don't get it. JKLMN. No L. Noel.
#55
There were a couple of brothers in my National Guard unit in the early '80s named James and Jerry Fagg. I imagine they had a hard time in Basic Training.
Final score:
4points
#56
I worked with a lady whose name was Patty Pickle and then she got married and her name became Patty Mayo.
Final score:
4points
#57
I worked for an insurance company once and my job was to enter all the hard file information into the computer then give the file to another girl to scan into the system. I literally came across a Mr. Sack.... a Mr. Harry Sack. I laughed until I cried....the whole office did.
Final score:
4points
#58
ABCDE pronounced Ab-cee-dee. *face palm*
There is also a politician in Australia called Grace Grace. Always wondered did they marry someone with the surname Grace or is it her maiden name and her parents were having a laugh.
Final score:
4points
#59
LinkedIn once sent me a recommended connection ‘Icy W**g’. No lie.
Final score:
3points
#60
Xin Guan, which is pronounced "Guan Say" (Yes, you pronounce it backwards which give teachers a headache). I think it is a romanized version of some southeastern asian name.
Final score:
3points
#61
My dad taught a kid named Evret Evretson... why..?
Final score:
3points
Emily Ducat 4 years ago
The person could be Icelandic or from basically any culture that uses patronymic surnames in place of family surnames
#62
Sterling P. Bottomly, was in my high school class many years ago.
Final score:
3points
#65
Rhombus. Like actually that’s the dudes name. It seems pretty cool to some people I guess but imagine your mother looking at you as a baby and being like hmmmm.......SQUARE
Final score:
3points
#66
Sisters in Jr High School Artistic and Strawberry Field
Final score:
3points
#67
I knew a guy whose last name was Clapsaddle.
Years later, I heard comedian George Burns use that last name in a skit of his. -- If George uses your name in a comedy show, you know it is a funny one.
Final score:
3points
#68
I met a flight instructor who was a really nice person. His name was Daily Bugg.
Final score:
3points
#69
A lady neighbor of my grandmother in an assisted living community was named Deathel (yes, pronounced deth-el) and I still wonder what her parents were thinking.
Final score:
3points
#70
I used to work at a bank. One day a man, who was foreign from an Asian country, came in. When I pulled up his account I saw that his last name was “Her.” I do not remember his first name, but I vividly remember the other name on the account, which I assume was his wife, was “Dang.” “Dang Her.”
Another time a girl came in and made a deposits. Her first name was “Pornpen.”
Perhaps these were lovely names in their countries of origin (I 100% know they were immigrants or studying abroad from conversations I had with them) but some things just do not translate well!
Final score:
3points
#71
I forgot the kids name, but it was something like Quang Ho (rhymes with cheeto). He was nicknamed Cheeto (Hogger). He hated it.
Final score:
3points
#72
One of the girls in my class has a younger sister. Their last name is "Wise"... They named the younger sister "Penny".
So now she is
Penny Wise ;w;
Final score:
3points
#73
Went to school with a guy named Theopolis Polopolis. I think he was Greek :)
Final score:
2points
Roxanne D'souza 4 years ago
Doesn't sound that bad. Seems like a normal Greek name to me. Theo for short.
#74
female- (pronounced Fee-Maa-lay)
Final score:
2points
#75
I had to call a lawyer for a guy I worked with. The lawyer's name was
Michael Hunt (but I'm sure his friends call him Mike)...True story.
Final score:
2points
#76
the name tesla
Final score:
2points
Zachariah M. Baird 4 years ago
What's funny about that? The fact that someone named a car brand after it? Is Ford funny?
#77
Crystal Shanda Lear. Nuff said.
Also, my mom originally wanted to name me "Giavanna Johnson". Say it slowly if you don't get it.
Final score:
2points
#78
That's easy it's my friend--Shiman Pan! Pronounced shi-ma pan. Me and my friends call him shit ma pants but we get along very well and he is ok with me saying it :)
Final score:
2points
#79
Well... one of my friend’s name is Galla. And she married a girl named Mona. Their last name is now Baileet. (Bail-it) So their a pretty rare couple based on their names 😂
Final score:
2points
Cupcakezzz (Submission author) 4 years ago
I don’t think that their names are weird, I just think their very rare
#80
Maheck and a girl named Dakota Longbottom.
Final score:
2points
#81
Knew of a girl with the name of Amy Moist....
"Moist" should only be used to describe the consistency of cake
Final score:
2points
#82
I knew a Kellie Kelly. Her mum always wanted a daughter named Kellie and didn't let marrying into the name stop her!
Also known a few people with the surname "Hore".
Final score:
2points
#83
I worked in a government office for many years, serving members of the public in the southern US. Some that I remember are Peachy Haire, Gene Turnipgreen, Tommy Woodfark and Cosmo Dinger. Cosmo had a sister named Carmen. Carmen Dinger! Best of all was the family with the last name of Sourbutts. Thankfully, they homeschooled their four children, bless their hearts!
Final score:
2points
#84
I went to high school with a girl named Dee Dee Kupp. I was surprised that she never caught on that she was named after a bra size...
Final score:
2points
#85
On an ad, who's company name I have now forgotten, a baby was about to be named Callum. But his last name is Murry. So if the dad actually went with the name, it would sound like the boy was named after the seafood, calamari!
Final score:
2points
#86
1. Coworker with last name Gomerdinger
2. Contractor named Bud Ochs (pronounced "ox")
3. Other coworker's cousin named her daughter (pronounced "yoo-reen", spelled Urine)
4. Famous race car driver Dick Trickle
My favorite (not awful) name though is a former client: Effie Foofalah. That's just fun to say.
Final score:
2points
#87
There is a guy who graduated from my highschool last year. His name was Orange Peel. No joke! There was a rumor he had a sister named banana peel but idk if thats true.
*snicker* orange peel...
Final score:
2points
#88
I know you will think I'm lying but I once worked in an office with Anita Dick.
Final score:
2points
#90
Met a doctor named Malena. Her family told her malena was a type of flower. In the world of medicine melena means bloody poop.
Final score:
2points
#91
A doctor when I lived in Strasbourg: Jacques Ouzy...Jacuzzi
Final score:
2points
#92
a guy at my old school was called steven stevens. His parents got very creative while naming him
Final score:
2points
#93
A family in Florida named their son Gator.
Another family in the small city of Holly Hill, FL, named their girl Holly. Their last name is Hill.
Final score:
2points
#94
The choir director at my old church was named Bill Williams. Not too bad, until you realize his full name is William Williams.
Final score:
2points
#95
I met this lady who had been a teacher for quite some time, anyway she told me about three different girls she had at different times. The first one was a girl named La-a (pronounced Ladasha.) Then a girl named Abcde (pronounced Ab-si-dee.) And finally a girl named Squasha.
Final score:
2points
#96
I live in the middle east. A friend in elementary was named Tuba. In arabic Tuba means a small rock.
Final score:
2points
#97
I had a teacher named Dick Head. I felt bad for him. Also i know a kid with the last name O'dellielliot not really unfortunate just funny.
Final score:
2points
#98
My family name is Alcock (originally Allcock before immigrating to US). First name isn’t bad, but in the age of work email having your name, I was unfortunately stuck with balcock until we switched email a while later. Oh, and that last name sucks no matter your gender. My bro got a whole lot of “no balls” jokes, and I’m female....
Final score:
2points
#99
cayleb butts
Final score:
1point
#100
One of my parents is a teacher in a highly populated school, so she sees a lot of odd names. One of the highlights is StarAsia.
Final score:
1point
Janet Chaney 4 years ago
sisters Melody, Synphony, and Rhapsody......one class I worked with had Black boys from different families...they were Archemedes, Prometheus, Timotheus, and Zeus
#101
Hanne. It sounds too much like Hamm from Toy Story. Also, My last name rhymes with my first name.
Final score:
1point
#102
I once came across a man while working as a cashier by the name of Jack Hoff, and have met other like my friend by the name of Phuc, ana a coworker with the last name of Cerda (pig in spanish) which we nicknamed piggy.
Final score:
1point
#103
I know someone with the lastname Weiner.
Final score:
1point
Andres Tejeda 4 years ago
Special mention of Anthony Weiner, who was caught showing his weiner to a minor.
#104
I had an acquaintance in high school who's last name was Cummings. I predict that she'll change it at some point
Final score:
1point
#105
Zanaib
Final score:
1point
#106
When I worked in Residence life in college there was a student named "Ginger Lilly Dragon"
To me it sounded like anime name and not something tonput at the top of a resume
Final score:
1point
#107
I used to design citations (awards) for the state. I came across a lot of unfortunate names but the best one was Chestin Butts.
Final score:
1point
#108
Last Names: Gresidick & Fluck
Full Names: Carla Tash & Ted Tinkey
Final score:
1point
#109
How about Peter Swindler, and he's not a politician, he is a salesman.
Final score:
1point
#110
I once subbed for a 11th grade class who had a asian student named Lee fuq spelled like that and i spent so long trying to figure out how to say his name without saying f***.
Final score:
1point
#111
I knew a girl named Mabel Sarah Grable. She always used her middle name because she didn't want to be called Mabel Grable.
Final score:
1point
#113
A kid at my old elementary school was named Nishanth Penugonda. Not such a bad name until you realize the username and password we used to access online resources was 4 letters of our last name, 3 letters of our first name and then 2 numbers. So.. his was penunis52..
Final score:
1point
#114
I was named after my dad's sister, my Aunt Morna who had no children in her 40's. And thought not likely to in 1954. She was named for the time of day that she was born, in the morning. I had an Aunt Twyla (twilight) and Aunt Evelyn (evening). I never liked the name so I go by Lee.
Final score:
1point
#115
I worked in a restaurant briefly with a server named Khrexia. Still not sure how to pronounce that.
Final score:
1point
RoyalMoon27 4 years ago
I'm just reading it as "Krex-ee-uh," doesn't seem all that tough to me
#118
My father's middle name is Glascock, which is an old family name.
Final score:
1point
#119
I used to work with one of the kindest, most caring Paediatric Neurosurgeon, Dr D’Eath
Final score:
1point
#120
Justin Case or how about mine.. Morna Lee
Final score:
0points
#121
my dad told me about someone he knew called Theresa Green
Final score:
0points
#122
Purple Dong - I have email/business card, if it's not believable.
Final score:
0points
#123
I had a friend called Anne Carr. We all called her Popeye!
Final score:
0points
#124
The choir director at my old church was named Bill Williams. Not too bad, until you realize his full name is William Williams.
Final score:
0points
#125
In first grade I knew a girl whose name was literally the word Beautiful. She was so proud of her name, I was in awe that was a name that could exist! But nowadays I look back and hope no one made fun of her for it. Knowing what I know now, older kids would've probable bullied her...called her name stupid...maybe worse. I just hope that never happened.
Final score:
0points
#126
I know I person called Paul King and everyone called him Mr King
Final score:
0points
#127
Growing up, my neighbour's first name was Sam. He married Ella. I lived next door to salmonella.
Final score:
0points
#128
I knew a John Dick, which isn't so bad. His brother was Willie Dick.
Final score:
0points
#129
Last Names: Gresidick & Fluck
Full Names: Carla Tash & Ted Tinkey
Final score:
-1point
Steve Mcnally 4 years ago
I think Mr and Mrs King should have thought more carefully before naming their eldest boy Wayne...
What do you think ?
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
YES, and i tell that Pierre Noel is like santa claus. IT IS in france. I get downvoted and it was not a joke, this is real, but a corgi or someone telling something about covid... it is a trend. Come on here in europe we don't care about breeds, and we are less targeted by covid? strange. It must be an oligarchy move
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cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
YES, and i tell that Pierre Noel is like santa claus. IT IS in france. I get downvoted and it was not a joke, this is real, but a corgi or someone telling something about covid... it is a trend. Come on here in europe we don't care about breeds, and we are less targeted by covid? strange. It must be an oligarchy move
Load More Replies... 
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