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Hey Pandas, Vent Here And Please Try To Be Respectful
No spamming, no trolling and absolutely do not mock people for their struggles! You are allowed to talk about your problems, it does not make you weak or whiny, you are not alone, we can help.
I created this same post earlier but it never got posted so I hope this one does.
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why is there so much f*****g drama on here now.
Ikr, everyone is arguing and posts are getting spammed
It’s getting harder and harder to keep living. Whenever I’m suicidal I vent here, but then I get better, but then I get worse. I feel guilty about seeking attention over and over.
My dad yelled at me because I got a b on a test but that was because the teacher didn’t teach us anything.
I suck.
Keep venting, its not attention seeking, I promise. Reach out to someone irl. And remember, your nickname is short for Important, because that's what you are. An important, caring, sweet, funny, and talented human being who deserves the world.
I don't like my mom but like my mom at the same time. She yells mean things at me everyday, compares me to my sister, occasionally hits me, and looks at her phone ALL the time.
But she teaches me, helps me when I am struggling and inspires me sometimes. Whenever I get good grades, she gives me presents and she doesn't shame me for drawing. Usually, Asian parents don't want their children to be artists. She's busy and usually takes care of me and my sister by herself most of the time. Sure she's stressed, but she shouldn't take her anger out on me, her failure.
I love and hate her at the same time. It is so frustrating.
My dad is kind of the same way. He yells at me, forces me to be the stereotypical idea of “female”, shames me, sometimes hits me, but other times he’ll just be kind of nice, and do stuff like buy me boba tea or help me with stuff. Basically the way I think about him is “he’s human, humans make some mistakes in life.” Idk if thinking of your mum in that way might help you feel less frustrated? Sorry I’m not the best at giving advice 😅
everything is stupid. i got a 97 on my test and my mom started yelling at me because apparently grades are not enough, and i need to do better. it’s never enough. and i’m really sick of everything. and everyone.
I'm really sorry she did that, parents who get mad for anything less than perfect are the worst. I get the "sick of everything and everyone" feeling, but in my experience, it helps to try and write a list of things you enjoy or like, and then try to see/do more of those things. It sounds cheesy, but it works for me.
Okay here we gooooo! I hate myself so f*****g much this year I started middle school so I thought I could have a new chance to be more social and be more popular and general but for some reason I can't escape my old self and I'm still the anxious mess I was in 6th grade I don't get why I can't just be normal. And my parents definitely aren't helping anything right now. Last night my mom told my sister (who is so much more social than me) that she needs to come out of her shell at school and I'm just there listening to this thinking "damn if she knew me for the person I am at school she'd probably hate me"
ALSO SPEAKING OF SCHOOL! I got cast as an understudy which sucks because I was one of TWO PEOPLE auditioning for a role in my thespian troupe's one act (which is basically a shorter version of a play) it's not that I'm mad at the other person who auditioned because she did good it's because I knew that wasn't the best I could do and I was being held back by my own anxiety and I feel like that's what's holding me back in EVERY F*****G ASPECT OF MY LIFE and I'm forced to sit here and suffer those consequences as I watch those around me get better at stuff that I can do because of... DRUMROLL PLEASE! ✨️Anxiety✨️ Idk maybe I'm just overthinking this like I do with everything :P I think I'm fed up with life
God, why are the so-called "popular kids" in my school so rude? I mean they don't bully me, (I think, but who knows? Maybe they gossip behind my back, I dunno) but they bully kids who just act differently and talk a lot. They bully kids obsessed with anime, they bully kids who have ADHD, and they bully that nice smart girl who always raises her hand when a teacher asks the class a question. They bully the boy who asks many questions during class. I'm a seventh grader and one time of the bus I saw some of my classmates rip up a sixth grader's schedule. Basically, the popular kids at my school make fun of the so-called "weird people". They think they are at the top, they think they are royals and make fun of kids who they think are peasants. They gossip so much and do inappropriate things. I have a friend (we still are kind of friends). She is now in the "popular mean kids" group. She changed a lot. She and her friends now bully a gay sixth grader during P.E. During English she and her friends proudly said they bullied that gay sixth grader. The popular mean kids are hypocritical, they always say "Ewwww, that's gay!" (but most of the mean kids aren't straight, which confuses me) and they enjoy saying racial slurs. Popular mean kids are weird.
Those don't sound like popular kids. They sound like complete a******s.
F**k everything. I was buying clothes today with my dad and I pointed to this brown sweatshirt I kinda wanted, and he was like “no this one looks better” and pointed to a bright pink one. I made the mistake of saying “you only want me to wear that because it’s pink. Why do you want me to wear pink so badly anyways?” And he got mad (I can see why, I was kinda rude-) but then he was like “wear pink. you’re a girl” AND I WANTED TO FCKING KMS CUZ LIKE, NO I AM NOT A GIRL STOP FORCING ME TO BE ONE. Most people view me as a girl I can’t take this
Does anyone else feel the urge to reach through the screen and slap him?
Stupid mean brother, stupid mean people at school, stupid accidentally mean parents, stupid mean brain, stupid mean kitties that keep walking away when I wanna pet them, I just manna go walk across Kansas and find my best friend, and leave all the mean stupid awful stuff here. I want people in real life to leave me alone, except for my friends, of which I have none. I feel like I’m gonna explode.
Argh autocorrect sucks and is wrong most of the time, what does manna even mean?
hi. it’s twilight here. i hate myself. i hate living. i hate that i can’t focus and that i’m anxious every hour of the day. the line between fantasy and reality is starting to blur for me, i don’t know what’s real and what’s not, i don’t know who i am anymore. i’m making a plan to kill myself
We should all form a cult where we convince each other not to die and do happy things (idk what happy things are but- I guess it means like, fun conversations or not negative stuff)
no i can’t do this anymore
Load More Replies...if everything goes well in about a week, you’ll never have to talk to me again
If you kill yourself there will be one less amazing person in the world. Don't let that happen
same if you kill yourself. but what does it matter there are 8 billion people. im just one of them.
But you are one of probably less than 15 people who are my friends.
what have i done that’s good? i’m too much of a coward to even kill myself. hopefully if all goes to plan my liver fails and i never wake up
What have you done that’s good? Are you f*****g kidding me? You’re so nice to me.
yeah. but ur going to stay alive. i’ll visit u as a ghost
Nope you won’t, if you’re ever visiting me it’ll be as a live person or when we all die of old age or smthn
Why should I? I’m not joking, all you amazing pandas are the reason why I decided at the last minute that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to lay under a moving car. If you’re all gone then I would run out of reasons not to.
well if you’re going to hell i’m going with you
yep and you wouldn’t be able to stop me because we would just be souls >:)
im sorry lex. i love u so much but i cant do life anymore. every day hurts. the life i would have in the future just doesn’t seem worth it
I’m not going to say that I understand, because I don’t know exactly what you’re going through. But what I will say is that I want to die as well, I’ve attempted 3 times today already, but I keep stopping myself because I don’t want you guys to be upset. I want to be able to still talk to all of you even if that means I have to live in this giant dumpster fie of a world.
i love u lex <3 i don’t want to make anyone upset either but idk. don’t kill urself. and if u do i hope i get to meet u when i die
may what day are you doing it (which u won’t) and how
Which I will. And I'd rather not tell you because you would probably try to stop it from happening
You sound like Lusion, and I'm really f*****g scared right now. Please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be someone here (PLEASE use that chat/hotline I sent you, I promise they can't take ANY information that you don't want to give them. I've used it before, they're helpful. Please please please don't do it)
May, please. I'll email you my phone number if you want to talk. Whatever I can do to help, please tell me.
Seriously, don’t do it. You really need to talk to someone. Doesn’t matter who, as long as they can help. You can call me (I might be in class but I’ll call you back as soon as I can)
I can't call anyone. It's fine. You can't convince me to not do it anyway
may, please talk to someone. i've used the trevor project before too and it is a great thing to use if you don't have anyone irl. if not, can you at least try to talk to someone else online? i'm here if you want to email or anything
It's really not. You're definitely worth far more than you seem to think, and you deserve a chance to have a good life
But that was in no way your fault. It doesn't count if your life got f****d up by other people, you didn't have a choice. Once you're in a better situation life will get better
Please, just try contacting the Trevor project. What's the worst that could happen, it doesn't help at all?
I'm so sorry, I wish there was more I could do to help you. I do have to go to bed now because it's after 1 am my time and I'm exhausted because I have covid, but I am here if you need to talk tomorrow or any other time. I really care about you and want to help you any way I can <3
Im not going to stop trying. You’re fvcking worth it, okay? If you can’t call anyone, you can use the trevor project chat I sent you
Even if you can’t stay for yourself yet, I promise you’ll get there someday. Please stay for Crow, for Twilight, for Lex… for your cat, even. (Brb I need to switch to my computer so I can show you smth)
It's fine. People will be okay without me. It might hurt for a bit but y'all will be okay in the long run
I will certainly not be ok with out you. Honestly I’d be dead as well because the only think preventing me from unaliving is the fact that I get to talk to y’all
Believe me, I would not be okay. Losing people who are important to me, in such a permanent way, and not being able to do anything about it- that's literally my worst fear. Found the thing I wanted to show you btw 100reasons...45-png.jpg
Ok, what about little things? Stay because your cat needs to be taken care of. Stay so you can force me to watch all the Hunger Games movies (and so you can watch Songbirds and Snakes!).
I can't care about songbirds and snakes when I'm dead. And my family will take care of my cat
They wouldn’t take care of your cat as well as you do, though. And your cat wouldn’t understand what happened, don’t make them feel like you abandoned them.
Speaking of my cat he just laid down beside me and started purring. He's so cuteeee
Awwwww see? He loves you. Cats are a good reason to stay, right?
No he won’t. He won’t know or understand what happened to you. And you know what, I’m fvcking selfish- I’ve lost so many people recently and my brain is fvcked up and if I lost you I think I would break. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make this about me, but idk what to do
I'll make that the next part of the document- I'll figure out how you can take him with you.
It really sounds like he's YOUR cat, more than anyone else's. Anyway, I did a little research, and there have been lots of cases where it's not just possible, but recommended, to keep your pet with you if you have to leave your family for this kind of situation
You are too, May <3 We're gonna figure this out, ok? Tell me if there's anything else you want me to add to the doc. I'll find whatever info you need.
Ah, this is so messed up... your folks are cruel and you should not have to pay the price for there sorry excuse for parenting... i am NOT gonna rest until i find some remote way you can keep your cat.... may we luv you, and were gonna help you and theres nothing you can say to change that :)... also just so you know may cats purr near people they know are sad, they use their purring to cheer them up, but ive never heard of a cat doing that to someone they didnt love with all their being... we luv ya may <3
Alr I'll try to figure that out, I'm in class rn but I'll add it to the doc today
Oof... does your original account work? BP staff said that one got unblocked (Edit: just saw that you're already using it, glad that one works)
You aren't not going to do this to me right now, I need you alive and I've been really bad lately. Please stay for me even if you can't stay for yourself
eh i’m probably gonna do it tomorrow-friday. im impatient.
No, please talk to someone. Do your parents know you've gotten this bad?
I know I haven't talked to you and lex much, but I love y'all, your awesome
i gotta get off for the night. don’t die, i’ll talk to you to tomorrow (hopefully i can make myself sick so i can stay home) i love u and goodnight <3
I kind of have to get off soon too but I may reappear around 3 am because I have sleep issues lmao. But also ily too (not in a weird way tho) and goodnight <3
And I’ll talk to you tomorrow as well, luckily I’m probably staying home from school because I’m sick so
OMG IM SO SORRY MY STUPID INTERNET WENT OUT FOR A FEW MINS ARGHHHH
Please don't die. It's not worth it. Find someone safe to talk to that can help you. I don't want you to die. I might just be a random person you've maybe seen once on BP, but all of us here would be so sad if we knew you (unalived) yourself. Please don't. Here, have a hug though the screen: ლ(・﹏・ლ)
and also, if you die, you'll never be able to see the fnaf movie ;)
Twilight no, you cant... we defeated toast and were gonna help all you pandas, we luv you twilight ok so your gonna be ok... <3
Hey peoples. If you’re comfortable would you mind sharing why u want to die? Im not a therapist or anything but maybe I can offer some advice. Or not, idk.
I am going to see my therapist tomorrow and I will probably mention BP, so many people want to commit suicide and I will hopefully be able to help all of you after seeing my therapist.
Load More Replies...hahahahaHahAHaha everything is too much. life isn’t worth it. i cant focus, im always anxious, im always overstimulated and i hate myself
For me it’s that I keep getting misgendered, both accidentally and purposefully. My gender dysphoria is getting worse, my anxiety is the worst it’s been in years. My parents want to send me to an all GIRLS mental hospital boarding school, and I’m not even a girl anymore. And my germophobia- well, we do not talk about that. Nothing really feels worth it anymore.
Mostly because nobody really cares or likes me, I feel so alone and miserable.
Twilight, I hope you live but I don't know how to convince you to, I just want to say how happy I was to find someone else who enjoys playing The Legend of Zelda, you are such a great person and I really hope you live.
Twilight, are you still okay, I just wanted to check in on you.
I moved about a year ago and I've seen my friends only about four times in that year, it used to be about twice every month that I would see my friends, when I lived in my old neighborhood. I miss them and I feel like I should be interacting with people more. I feel like my friendship with them is falling apart. I feel jealous knowing they get to see each other often. I love My new house and all but sometimes I wish we had never moved
Are you able to talk to them online somehow? I hope you get to see them more often soon though <3
Why am I so powerless to help anyone, everyone seems to be struggling with something, I just wish I could do something to help.
Finally it’s almost fall! I can wear baggy sweaters to hide my skinny body because I have an eating disorder!
My anxiety is returning due to school, I am feeling fine at the moment but I will need to vent a lot more later in the semester.
I need y’all to tell me fast and easy ways to die because I’m too much of a coward to do anything that takes longer than like 10 seconds. I was SO FREAKING CLOSE to getting run over by the car but I panicked at the last second smh. I just need some ideas, smthn that will let me get this over with before I can start rethinking my decision
NOOOO LEX PLEASE DONT!!! please please please don't. It's not worth it. It will probably be a very painful last ten seconds, when a full life would be so much better. There is lots of awesome things you would miss out on if you die. Who knows? Maybe they'll build a colony on the moon? Just please don't die. We will all be so sad.
Agsjahaghagaah I hate math class! And really, all of my classes are so stressful. And, even worse, I don't know how to subtly hint to my friends I'm nonbinary or Neptunic. Y'all can just talk to me if you want. I just need to talk some. (Typing that felt so weird, it seemed too short)
Do your friends support LGBTQIA+ people? When I came out to my close friends, I already knew they were accepting (and part of the community themselves) so instead of dropping subtle hints I just got straight to the point. If you don't feel comfortable enough to do that, maybe for some "subtle hints" you could just make certain comments that kind of allude to the fact that you're nonbinary and Neptunic? Maybe saying things like "you know what, I don't really feel that (feminine/masculine)"? I'm not sure for the Neptunic part.
People keep misgendering me (purposely). My dysphoria is getting worse. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this because even though my irl friends try super hard to help me, they're cis so some things are just too hard to explain to them. I haven't (and probably never will) come out to my parents. My therapist knows I'm nonbinary, but like my friends, she's cis so some things I just really don't know how to explain to her. But I think my gender dysphoria is the worst it's been in several months. It feels like I'm suffocating. I really just don't know how to cope with everything, even though it's been over two years since I realized I was nonbinary. I just kind of need advice, yk?
I just can't with how female I look and sound. I'm actually considering getting... uhm, surgery if yk what I mean, but apparently it's ✨illegal✨ in the state I live in until I'm 18. And not to mention my voice, it makes me suuuper dysphoric, no matter how hard I try to make it sound a bit deeper, it still sounds like a FREAKING UWU VOICE. I've considered/tried unaliving myself as well because I can't stand being treated and viewed as a girl. F**k this, life sucks
my dog is in the hospital because she ate a poisonous mushroom! How fun! /s
God I hate algebra. I dont understand half the things, I dont know why they put me in it
Yeah, I feel you. Algebra sucks, and also HOW THE HELL DOES ABSOLUTE VALUE EVEN WORK? They say it doesn’t work if the opposite side is negative, but when we split it it turns negative! It’s stupid! Stupid parents telling the school I should be in a high level math class.
f**k everything I've decided when I'm killing myself.
NOOOO, you told me I shouldn't kms, so why should YOU? You're so much better than me, if I don't deserve to die YOU certainly don't.
i really try to act nice and happy but sometimes people just..get on my nerves and i really cant anymore
Sometimes I just want to die. I don’t know why, but I just feel blank. Other times I feel perfectly fine and content. I’m always scared after I’m done with those “episodes” on why I was thinking that and what would’ve happened if death wasn’t painful…since that’s the only thing stopping me. I’m also yelling at people and getting annoyed more easily than before. It’s tearing me up with how bad I feel afterwords but I just can’t stop it anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This all started after a certain moment in my life (which I will not post about), and I think this is some sort of coping mechanism?? Though, I have thought about what would happen if I died in previous years… I don’t know if that has a relation to anything. I know I need help, that much is certain.
I can’t vent, I’m not the imposter, I was on cams and I saw Nathaniel vent.