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Hey Pandas, Tell Us Your Problems And Let’s Try To Solve Them In The Comments! (Closed)
Hey Pandas, let’s try a new kind of “Ask Pandas”! I want everyone here to post a problem, then people in the comments can provide solutions! This will be like a Bored Panda advice column. I hope we can make this work!
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#1
I am not unhappy about going into my eighth decade, because I am healthy and still take care of my home and hearth. However, I am a wee bit distressed that my body does not always obey my orders as it once did. Arms, hands, back, brain have all developed intermittent weakness and lack of civility. However, I still adhere to the old credo "the more you do, the more you can do". Also love "never walk slow when you can walk fast".
Final score:
29points
RELATED:
#2
Why is there so much people who discriminate others?
Final score:
20points
Billy The Kid 4 years ago
unfortunately that's the way life is. If there was no discrimination in the world, life would be perfect. These are the haters of misunderstanding. They think they are more superior than others. People are afraid of what's different from them.
#3
My brother has been taking 2 hour long naps everyday after finishing homework, then going to bed early and sleeping the entire time. My mom took him to get a blood test after she learned this. Why did she do this? Should I be concerned?
Final score:
16points
Hazel Waring 4 years ago
Not at all - it is highly unlikely to be anything serious & that can't be easily addressed. Very occasionally, hormone imbalances whilst growing up and hitting puberty can cause fatigue; most likely it may be anaemia (shortage of iron). If he's got blood tests and is being seen by a GP, he's in safe hands! Perhaps chat to him to see if anything is causing anxiety/exhaustion at school?
#4
hey pandas, i need some help. how do i get rid of a toxic friend? i am too nice to say goodbye but my real friends tell me that she is toxic and i should stop being her friend. what should i do??
Final score:
15points
BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago
I would start to distance myself, avoid her and minimize the interactions until she is not my friend anymore
#5
How do I tell my family that I don’t feel comfortable around men and would prefer a female-female relationship?
Final score:
15points
Pheebs 4 years ago
Depends on your family. They somewhat chill sorts? Have they made negative comments about same sex relationships? They the type to sit down and talk about things? Think about how they’ve approached other big discussions and go from there. Maybe start with someone you suspect will be an ally. Once they’re on your side, they can be a source of support as you approach the rest of your fam. And stand your ground if things go south. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel.
#6
I can never do anything right. Everything results in self-blame. I feel as if everything would be better if I was gone. I feel like I'm suffocating. I need help but I don't know how to ask. Does needing help make you weak? How do I stop feeling like a burden to everyone around me?
Final score:
14points
#7
Ok so if anyone who is struggling rn reads this, try Kooth it's a website where you can anonymously have 1-1 discussions with councillors and you can also talk to children and teens your own age about your problems that they might have too. No, I'm not posting this to get fame coz i work there. I do not work for them. I'm only posting this coz they have helped me out soo much recently and I thought maybe they can help u too. I'm also here for u if u need to talk to someone, you are not alone. Stay safe xxx
Final score:
12points
#8
I am currently out of the closet as lesbian, to exactly three people. I have this friend, like my best friend, who I came out to, but it went south, fast. She ended up not liking that about me, and is distancing herself from me, and like downplaying my best qualities because I am attracted to girls, and she told a lot of other people about it, and I live in this really religious, small community. She even told my friend who told their bus. Now some other friends of mine have stopped talking to me. What do I do? Please help!
Final score:
9points
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
When we change, our friends don't always stick around. In this case, you were already a lesbian, but you changed in your friends' eyes. I lost friends when I got clean/sober. I lost other friends when I became a parent. I lost more friends when I became a Christian. All of those lost friendships were replaced by better ones. Look or the new ones.
#9
I have to hide who I am in my own house. Mostly my parents. My sister will use my correct name and pronouns but my brother doesn't understand my parent pretend i'm not gay. I'm also a cosplayer-ish and my parent think it weird and don't talk about it much. I can't share my opinions with them because I know they won't understand. I go to therapy but I want your opinions on what to do. Please help me, I hurts to only be half of myself.
Final score:
8points
Viviane 4 years ago
I'm glad you have a supportive sister and a therapist. Can your sister help you talk to your brother and your parents? Maybe the two of you can start with your brother. Perhaps tell him that you don't expect him to understand it, but he should at least try to use your correct name and pronouns. People change names for all kinds of reasons, so he'll have to get used to that throughout his life. For your parents, maybe you can contact PFLAG for help - https://pflag.org/ Maybe someone with a LGBT+ child could talk to them.
#10
I push down my feelings and barely cry. When I do it's by myself and I try to be as quiet as I can. I don't know why because I want to get help, I want to be able to get better but I don't want people to worry about me. It's a never ending cycle and I'm really tiered of it. I don't know what to do.
Final score:
8points
Viviane 4 years ago
You sound conflicted about asking for emotional support. I agree with Morgan Kerr's suggestion to open up to family and friends. Some people do like helping others -- I helped a friend who was going through a terrible time and I'm glad I was there for her. The fact that you're fed up, motivate to get better, and asking for help are good signs. That can encourage other people to help you.
#11
Um hi, pandas I have a Friend that is apart of a 3 friend group: me her and my other friend. She frequently gets snappy and annoyed at me for silly reasons. Should I cut ties or be bffs with her and forgive her?? And also Do you know how to get over a fear of flying animals cuz I am scared of all flying animals like bees and wasps and including butterflies
Final score:
7points
BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago
For the first one, if she get really angry with you a lot of times, then you should cut ties
#12
I'm really confused about my sexual orientation but I have no way of figuring it out that I would be comfortable with. I'm just really not sure who I like or anything like that. Please pandas, how did you know you were bi/gay/lesbian?
Final score:
7points
#13
My problem is that I can not post anything in the comments. Whenever I try to, it just says "In order to comment your account must be approved by BoredPanda staff."
Final score:
7points
Brandy Grote 4 years ago
See if you need an email sent to activate your account, or if you ever got one. Then follow the activation link instructions.
#14
Here is another big problem. I really, really, really love animals. For like when I was younger, I started to get depressed because I didn't have a pet. I used to visit my cousin's dog like every 2 weeks and if we didn't go, I would start to cry and feel so lonely and depressed. I would feel way more anger if a dog got abused than if an adult died. I have a dog now, Loki who is the best but why do I love animals so much?
Final score:
7points
Brandy Grote 4 years ago
Some people find it easier to bond strongly to animals, especially if the people around them aren't nice. There is NOTHING wrong with loving animals. It shows you have empathy and a loving heart. People can take care of themselves, but animals are innocent and need human help to survive. Try to learn about animals, training and health care. See about donating time to a shelter or rescue. You will find a human to love. The lessons you learn from your animal friends can help you be a good person.
#15
Everything/everyone good in my life (which isn't much) gets completely ruined by my brain. I have such negative thoughts about everything, and I get exponentially more negative thoughts when I actively try to think of something positive. I tried medication for years, and it seemed to make things worse, because my life seems to be a lot better now that I'm not taking them. (If what I'm saying sounds bad now, trust me, it was a lot worse) I also tried therapy for years, didn't work. I am seeing a new therapist, I am expecting things will go well until this one breaks my trust, just like all the others. Anyway, not sure how to make things better for myself. Advice is appreciated.
Final score:
6points
#16
I'm too scared to come out but I want to really bad but I don't know how.
Final score:
6points
Animal lover❤ 4 years ago
Do it on your own terms in the way you want. Start with a close friend, then talk to your family. I hope it works out❤
#17
I have a crush on this girl. I tried to ask her out once but that failed and she doesn't even know about it. I'm to scared to ask her out in person. My plan is to ask her out the day before Christmas break, with a note on a candycane. What do ya'll think and do you have any other ideas?
Final score:
6points
Ida 4 years ago
I would recommend asking in person, not via note. I know it's scarier but that way you can be sure the message gets through and you shove her just how brave you are :D a little research beforehand doesn't hurt either, like does she like to go to movies (which movies?), favorite food/ restaurant, out-door activity or maybe a museum/ gallery? Finding a common subject to talk about can help past the difficult start
#18
how can i fall asleep easier? recently i have had trouble with falling asleep does anyone know how to help?
Final score:
6points
Sophia Gentile 4 years ago
Yes- similarly to the last comment, I write speeches in my head. I imagine typing the paragraph, color coding it, and sometimes I revise old speeches lol.
#19
How do I tell if a guy likes me? I have a slight crush but can’t tell if he likes me back
Final score:
4points
Billy The Kid 4 years ago (edited)
Eye contact. If he gives you a quick glance then maybe but if it is between 10 - 12 seconds then yeah there is interest. It all depends how courteous he is towards you. A conversation starter is " sorry if I keep looking at you but you remind me of someone" Then just mention something along the lines "do you live down in ........" Whatever street.
#20
How do I become less gullible. (I don't know what word to put here). It doesn't matter what someone does to me, I will still forgive them. How do i stop this, I dont want to get taken advantage of.
Final score:
4points
Viviane 4 years ago
I've heard the expression "Forgive, but don't forget." That means you don't dwell on what they did, but you do become careful with them. One example might be: if a friend is supposed to help with a project and they don't do their share, don't work with them again. I had boss who was fun to talk to, but not good to work for. I would still be friendly to him at parties, but I would not work for him again.
#21
Ok so I'm not fat ik that but I'm now constantly aware of what I eat, and I'm trying to eat more healthy good. The reason I'm so aware of what I eat is because my mum keeps saying I'm too skinny and she needs to fatten me up and I don't need too much exercise (I've been trying to exercise more). I think my mum thinks I'm anorexic or something and she's been giving me more chocolate. She puts four chocolate bars in my lunchbox every day and crisps too and extra large portions of food at dinner. When I'm at school I share the chocolate with my friends but they all think I'm obsessed with food and they don't believe me when I say it's my mum putting them in. I feel if I say anything to my mum she'll make me see a therapist or something which I don't want to do coz there's nothing wrong with me. Plz help xoxo
Final score:
4points
Viviane 4 years ago
Most mothers would be happy to see their child follow a healthy lifestyle. If she thought you needed to gain weight, junk food would not be the solution. Don't worry about having a chat with your mother. First off, a visit to the family doctor could reassure her. As for sending you to a therapist, not the end of the world. The therapist might end up telling your mother that she needs therapy more than you do.
#22
I lost my job due to health reason and now couse of covid I can't find anything. Tried to open etsy shop but there is very little views, what should I do to get more visibility on the internet? If I'm not going to sell anything I think we are going to live on the streets...
Final score:
4points
Brandy Grote 4 years ago
Look on Fivrr for quick jobs you can perform. Also, try making other social media accounts for your store. Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, even Facebook. Get the word out as much as you can. Get some side hustles going, driving, seasonal stores, whatever service you can provide.
#23
Got a 4-month old Belgian Malinois girl here, she knows how to sit, thinks everything is a toy if it’s close enough to her face, and will use anything as a reward. Pretty calm puppy, doesn’t bark, but nips and bites at my legs if I walk too fast or she’s all hyper. Solutions to nipping/biting? Also, training tips? I’ll take anything. Thanks you guys!
Final score:
4points
Jane Alexander 4 years ago
Home from work, stripped and flopped on the bed with a book. Puppy jumped, nipped right on a sensetive part of my chest. I let out a Yelp that left no doubt and she never did it again. You see, I speak her language, lol
#24
I am a closeted queer person and my parents are kinda homophobic/transphobic. My Dad works at my school and I am constantly looking around corners. They have started monitoring my phone (I’m not even sure if I won’t get caught reaching out like this) and I have gotten caught talking to my gay/FTM BFF about me being queer. My dad has come up with this narrative about how my friend (mentioned above) is trying to sell me on being gay and that I am too young to know. He says that he has gay friends and that they didn’t know until they were in college, but I am sure that I am, in fact queer. Any help is appreciated. ❤️
Final score:
4points
Viviane 4 years ago
In case you get caught: Dear Papa of Octopus: Your child is very, very tired and anxious from dealing with your monitoring. I'm sure your gay friends are fine upstanding citizens and productive members of society. Is that not what you want for your child? Please relax so that they can focus on their studies and not on finding ways to get you to leave them alone. If you're worried about your child, focus on safe sex for them. I have LGBTQ relatives, in-laws, colleagues, etc. and they figured out their identities at different ages.
#25
I'm an introvert, so I like to be alone, but I afraid of gradually getting lonely as I grow older. I need the contact with people, but I hate (and can't do) small talk. My ideal day is staying home, playing games and walking with my dog, but I don't want to become an insane, grumpy person, living only like this. I wait robots and software to take away my job and pay taxes instead of me, but I want to feel that I am part of the society.
Final score:
3points
Neva Nevičica 4 years ago
You don't have to hang out with people, but you can still help them without talking much to them (you can volunteer somewhere, or help your neighbors, you can offer your help to a retirement home). They will be grateful, you will feel useful and you are free to go home after that. Also, they will help you when you need help, most of them.:)
#26
Every time I post a comment on Bored Panda that is an accurate statement of fact, people down vote it.
Final score:
3points
#27
well, lately me and my girlfriend have been in a weird spot- like we hug and stuff but otherwise when we are with friends i feel like she ignores me. She told me that "sorry i am just bad at showing affection.." even tho she once had this other girlfriend and she was like all over her and shit. i think i am over thinking it but i dont know if i should be worried or not.. pls help
Final score:
3points
BoredDragon 4 years ago
I think you should be tiny bit worried. If she’s flat-out ignoring you in public, that’s kinda weird. If she’s normal with you when you’re alone, though, it’s probably ok. She just might be a little nervous about something. If not, though, there’s probably a problem. Maybe try to talk to her about it a little more.
#28
I apologize that it's super long. Ok, so I found a classmate attractive and we started talking because of a group assignment. I developed feelings for him and wouldn't you know it, he gave me his snapchat. As a naive teenager I fell hard for such an act and searched him up. Nothing. I checked snapchat, twitter, facebook, and instagram. It had appeared as if he didn't exist. Immediately: He's trolling me! But why? So the next day I confronted him. He claimed he gave the right one. Then hours later saying that because I confronted him, his buddy told him I had a crush on him, *Yipes! How?!* Then straight up asked for my number, gave blunt comments about my attractiveness, gave me his number, and started talking dirty to me. I was freaking out of how fast and easy things were going, that I was absolutely suspicious. *In my head: Yeah no* So I gave him a fake number in result. I later felt bad and texted him with my real number. Two weeks went by and this boi BARELY talked to me and if he did, every word was short-answered, misspelled, or abbreviated. If anything, I was lucky to even get a "Okay". He one day out of nowhere asked if we could date now and promised all these great things of being loyal. It then struck me that he was desperate. I didn't want to be mean so I felt pressured and had a long night of sobbing, ice cream eating, and worrying what my parents would think. But I said yes because I had convinced myself that I liked him. He then turned around and told me that he was messin. I felt so relieved and did cartwheels, but a sense of anger lingered as I STILL(stupidly) continued to talk to him. We zoomed, texted, and called for a good week. I found out that he was rich UwU. He asked me to date again, but I didn't want to fall for it and told him sure as a joke. He apologized after and told me that his brother sent the message. (Which was a lie because his brother didn't live with him at all). Moving forward to the next day, he was "pretending" to talk to his crush(we'll call her Adri) in front of me. I was honestly full of joy that he didn't like me, but it was a little sad. I started making jokes about them together as I would with any friend. Apparently, by doing this, it..."turned him on?" and got him to ask me officially out. *sigh* I told him "ok, I guess" and oh boy did I make the worst decision. He kept sending these s*x jokes, emojis, and calling me mamma. I was...horrified! After bugging him about the snap account thing, he sent me a screenshot of his full account. I was astound when I saw his story page: Dares and Memes. And under dares and memes was a list of names that appeared to belong to girls. The first one I saw was, you guessed it, Adri. The dots connected so perfectly that I was too stubborn to see it. My classmate was a player. And the list of girl names were his prey. I felt betrayed and wanted to help those girls, but I knew not one of them. I took every positive thing into consideration, finding some sense in this, but couldn't. I later got a text from him saying, "I don't like to date you right now". GREAT!! Me NEITHER!! And I never talked to him after that. And when I accidentally did, he told me to send nudes to date again......... What.The.Actual.Flip.Is.Wrong.With This.Guy? I still have classes with him (hooray ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) ) But I just wanted advice of what I should do now since I can't let this go knowing I probably have a opportunity to do something about it.
Final score:
3points
Viviane 4 years ago
You got strung along, but you figured that out. It sounds as if you learned from the experience, so don't be too hard on yourself. You can't change that asshole, but you can spread the word that he's a player. He's likely to keep adding names to the list, so let gossip do its job and you may save others from being strung along. If someone still takes their chances on this asshole, tell them DO NOTE SEND NUDES unless they want them all over the school. This asshole is the exact type who would send them to everyone he knows. If that happens, check the laws in your area regarding revenge porn and child pornography (such as nudes of someone under 18).
#29
How do I help my children have a healthy understanding of food? I’ve been obese and food addicted all my life, I’ve had bariatric surgery. I still struggle, but I know what are right and wrong food choices. The problem is, my husband is naturally thin, and even though our 13yo is 250 pounds, and our 4 year old is 60 pounds, he stops at the store every single day to pick up cases of sugar pop, gummy candy, or a 6 pack of mcDonalds cheeseburgers for one kid. I’ve fought, I’ve educated, I’ve dumped out bad food both in secret and right in front of everyone, I’ve done meal plans and prepped weekly healthy foods. I still can’t seem to make him understand that he is hurting our children by teaching them it’s normal to eat chips, soda, candy, and fast food every single day. He’s watched me struggle and complained plenty about my weight over the years, I know he doesn’t want our kids to be obese, but this man who can re-build a car engine by hand from memory, cannot seem to make the connection that too much sugar = obesity for people with my genetics. I’ve actually considered divorce to save my kids, even though the rest of our marriage is good.
Final score:
3points
#30
I'm pretty sure nobody likes me. Everybody is telling me I'm annoying, and my family always pins the blame for anything bad on me. My older brother bullies me, and my parents don't do anything about it, even when they're there. My other siblings like to pick on me too. And my little sister has no definition of personal space and my parents baby her because she's the youngest. I feel like my family would rather not have me around, other than to use my as an emotional punching bag.
Final score:
3points
Brandy Grote 4 years ago (edited)
Prepare now to leave the nest. Figure out how much you need to live where you are, and what jobs you can get to make that money. When you can get that job, save every penny you can in your "freedom fund". Once you are out of their house, you only have to deal with yourself. There is no law saying you have to stay with people who hate you. If there is any physical abuse, please contact the proper authorities in your area.
#31
bipolar (i think, cant get tested), extremely depressed, suicidal, and gay as f*** but i cant vent. Try to solve this, bored panda
Final score:
3points
#32
Not necessarily a problem per se, but I would like to know how the heck bitcoin works.
Final score:
3points
#33
I don’t Think that this can be solved but I have a little problem. I was playing Among Us and found the nicest person. I couldn’t tell them my phone number, or any way to get in touch with me before the server disconnected. So, if Cyberdoggo (Cyan) met PRISONMIKE(Pink) in the Pollus map, Please comment. Thank you so much!
Final score:
3points
#34
I found out my husband was trying to reconnect with an ex. He met on tinder when we where separated for 6 months in 2018. I told him I knew and that it was over. That was two weeks ago. He hasn't tried to contact me to explain or apologise or anything. I feel so alone, but if he really wanted me he would have tried explaining his actions right?
Final score:
3points
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
I always feel like I shouldn't give relationship advice because I'm chronically single, so what do I know. But if you want my opinion, the fact that he hasn't even tried is a bad sign. Like one of my friends said to me once when I was mid-breakup – do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to fight for you? I'm sorry love, I don't think he's interested anymore, and imo that means you shouldn't be wasting any more time in him. What I can tell you, as a single woman and single mother, is that being single is not a curse – yes sometimes you feel alone and sometimes you wish you had someone, but being on your own is something you need to adjust to, especially after a long/serious relationship, but once you give yourself that time to adjust, for real, being alone and happy is perfectly possible. I wish you love and happiness ❤
#35
coping mechanisms for depression ? reasons to stay ?? i've been struggling a bit lately so if some advice or something could be given that would be wonderful :D
Final score:
3points
Sent From The Slytherin House 4 years ago
Because you are a beautiful, smart, stunning girl. You have lots of life ahead of you and you need to be here to see it. Stay strong and don't let a few bad things bring you down, get up and prove to the world what us pandas know you can be, a strong powerful woman! marlene, you obviously know that life is getting you down, but dont give life the pleasure of seeing marlene give up. You can do this girl, and I don't know about the other pandas, but I am right here behind you, supporting you. Also, knock knock... (who's there?) Britney Spears... knock knock (who's there...?) oops I did it again....
#36
8th grade is hard. I don't know many others at my school. It doesn't help that my two brothers and I got high and decided to do our own haircuts. One of my brothers made my hair SO SO SO short, I prefer it in White-boii-afro-curly-head-thing. I just don't like my hair.
Final score:
3points
Viviane 4 years ago
Be patient while the hair grows out. Lesson learned: don't make decisions while high. While we're on the topic of getting high: teenage brains evolve and getting high is not great for that. Be careful and don't overdo it -- especially if there's a history of mental illness in your family. Years back, I got high once a week and after a year or two of that, I had bad anxiety, which runs in my family.
#37
I am a teenage female. I suspect I have "mild" or "high-functioning" or "Autism 1" or whatever the politically correct word is now. In females, autism is harder to spot. It can look like High Sensitivity, OCD, depression, etc.
I feel different from my peers. For one things, my interests are in different places: I like physics, chem, bio, drawing, painting, animals, and humanities, while my friends are into TV shows, studying for SAT, and gossip. For another, I am almost never completely still (stim?). My most constant ones are toe rubbing, leg shaking, and doodling. I need lots of time to recharge. I am constantly thinking--my thoughts are never quiet. I'm extremely introverted and I get overstimulated by people, noise, and lights. I feel like I am wearing a mask a lot of the time. I don't like physical touch. It is extremely difficult for me to recognize my emotions, much less process and share them.
The problem is, it isn't interfering with my life, which I heard is needed to get a diagnosis. Is this true? Maybe life gets harder as I age, so it could interfere as more things are demanded of me... is that how this works?
For against: I am able to make eye contact, I wasn't delayed as a child, I am able hold conversations, listen to others, understand and use sarcasm, take turns in conversation, talk on the phone, and use my vivid imagination.
Final score:
3points
#38
how do i stop myself from cutting and doing things like that? help?
Final score:
3points
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
I know this is probably really drastic, but I got tattoos on my inner left arm where I used to cut. Images that remind me of positive thoughts, like a phoenix and a lotus flower and arrows. So when I have the urge to cut, firstly I'm obviously like omg I don't want to slice up my tattoos. And secondly i look at my arm and I see the reminders I put there to myself, that I will rise up from ashes over and over like a phoenix, and that beautiful things grow from dark places like a lotus flower, and that when life is dragging me backwards, maybe it's just getting ready to propel me forwards, like an arrow. I've never cut again since getting them.
#39
So, because of zoom calls and school, I don't exactly have time to care for myself. And so I forget to eat...most of the time. I lost 7 pounds in the last 2 weeks its horrible I know, My question is, How do I keep a healthy eating habit and stop being stressed about my school work.
Final score:
3points
I'manoob! 4 years ago (edited)
OMG!! I FEEL YOU!!(not physically, that would be weird). What I do is basically what Alyssa said and have a water bottle around you, but also try not to sit so much. Like try to stand while in meets or while doing assignments. It kinda motivates you to be active in a way. For the food thing, just step away from the electronic device when you're on break, take a nice walk to the kitchen, and look around for what you can make during the break time you have. Like a sandwich or something.Trust me, you may not feel hungry but just tell yourself to make it and eat it anyways. Cuz I'm telling you once you take a bite,*snap* it's the hunger games up all on that sandwich!!! XD or whatever you decide to make.
#40
My sister want to blackmail me using my secret accounts that I really don't want my parents to know about. What should I do?
Final score:
2points
Carrie Laughs 4 years ago
Close them. She has absolutely no ammunition then. You can reopen them later on and do better at keeping them hidden. That or just tell your parents and get rid of her power that way. Blackmail is a disgusting thing to do. Unless your accounts are illegal or wrong in some way maybe suggest you might talk to the police as well (you don't have to do that - just threaten it).
#41
Soooooo I have this crush. It was really weird when I realized that I had a crush on him because we were just friends who weren't even that close and I don't ever remember being attracted to him in any way before. Then one day it just kinda hit me like a ton of rocks, almost like a second person inside my head, telling me that I liked him. And I was like "Holy cow I do?" and my mind told me "Hell yeah girl you do!!!" This has never happened to me before. It was about two months ago. The sad part is he's already in a relationship. I never hear him talk about her and I've never seen them together so sometimes I forget about her. I don't hate her, she's really nice, but it just makes me sad because I have never had a crush like this before (and believe me I've had many). Sometimes I think that she is just a middle school girlfriend, nobody lasts up here lol, our time will come eventually, but sometimes I get so sad because I doubt that anything will ever work out. On top of that I have to deal with his friends asking me who my crush is bc they can probably smell it from a mile away that I like him. Please just give me a little bit of help and sorry if I'm being incoherent this is my first time asking for help on BP. Thanks y'all :)
Final score:
2points
Stitches 4 years ago
I’m going to be completely honest middle school relationships are a learning experience. Your correct they typically don’t last. But if he’s with another female and seems happy hate to say it but leave him be. He and this girl will eventually break up it’s what middle school relationships do lol. And when that time comes be the one that’s there for him! Let him know you care. That sticks with people. And if the times right later in the future and he’s single shoot your shot! This is cliche the worst he can say is “No”. And remember there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Hope that helped!
#42
My friend is Jewish and often gets bothered by racist people
Final score:
2points
#43
I am a lesbian with a homophobic family. I have to wait years to finally move out and be myself. How do I survive until then?
Final score:
2points
#44
I am 11 and still do not have a phone how do I convince my parents to get me one?
Final score:
2points
DramaDoc 4 years ago
Have you tried asking them what their reasons behind this decision are? They could range from worry about cost to your screen usage time to concern for your safety (internet access and pre-teens can be a big concern) to issues concerning responsibility. It's also important to understand that you can't always get what you want when you want it. For example, what happens if you over-use your data plan and have a big increase in the phone bill? What if you lose it/it gets stolen; how will you replace it? How about matters of cyber-bullying? Your parents may want to shield you from some of that. Also, why do you need a phone? Is it a status symbol? While my own opinion that 11 is too young (not relevant at all), sitting down with your parents and having an actual conversation about this and what their reasons may be as well as what conditions (if any) they may have prior to letting you have one may be a good first step.
#45
I've already posted here but I thought of something else. I've recently gotten into some trouble and I'm not sure how to handle it. Okay so I started dating one of my friends, but the longer it went on the more I realized I didn't actually like her and I just wanted someone to cling to. So I talked to her about it and she was obviously upset and didn't talk to me for a while. When she finally did she still wanted to be friends!!?? I was really surprised because it isn't the first time, I've done it before and I hurt her really bad. The problem is I don't know why. I really care about her and there was no reason for me to do that to her. I don't want to lie to her and hurt her like that but I do it anyway and I feel awful about it. Is there something wrong with me??? How can I fix it??
Final score:
2points
Sent From The Slytherin House 4 years ago
No. If you aren't happy in the relationship, than in the long run, she wont be either. You did the right thing Olly.
#46
Me and my boyfriend have been together over 3 years, we live together and have a dog. I've been waiting for the day we get engaged. I thought we were on the same page. I've started college and work at the same time but we decided that I should work less so I can finish my school in time with good grades. He would works so we can live mostly on his pay.
But now he suddenly told me his not sure he wants to be with me anymore.
I'm not sure how to mentally or financially cope. Any advice?
Final score:
2points
Viviane 4 years ago
Colleges generally have counselors - find one with whom you feel compatible. Check into financial options (in my country, student loans aren't too bad, but they can be pretty tough to pay off in the USA). If he moves out, can you get a roommate? Or can you get cheaper housing on campus? Is moving back with family a possibility? Moving back happens to a lot of adults because of a setback or because of returning to school.
#47
I really need help identifying my emotions. For example, when you see an opossum looking cute and your heart does that "pump blood but not in the way it does when I see my toxic friend" feeling. Also I thought I had a crush on several people because I didn't know the difference between love and enjoying a person's company. And is there a name for the lack of emotion I feel a lot?
Final score:
2points
#48
I sometimes constantly feel like some people around me hate me for who I am. I have been really good at controlling myself, I only ever "hang out" with my real friends.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 4 years ago
You didn't talk about your personality, but you say you "have been really good at controlling" yourself. That sounds to me as if you might have a bit of a temper or be very blunt. That might intimidate some people. You can still stand up for yourself, but find different ways to do it. For example, don't call people names (even if you really want to!). Maybe you can say how something affected you. Here's an example: Instead of saying, "You asshole, I asked you to show up and you didn't" you can say, "I waited an entire hour for you! I'm really upset because I wasted my time and I could have been doing something else instead of waiting for you!"
#49
So, I recently found out I'm trans. Female-to-male to be exact. I really want to come out to my family. My parents are super accepting and stuff, but I'm not so sure about my other family. Please help me-
Final score:
2points
Damon Gates 4 years ago
Share your concerns with your parents. If they are as you say, they will advocate for you against ANYBODY.
#50
My two best friends in the whole world are moving away
Final score:
2points
Storm Anne 4 years ago
I can relate. My twin sis has a BFF/Crush who moved away. They are still in touch though! They talk to each other through Gmail, Zoom, Chat, and Roblox! Do you have a gaming website or chating app that you are both on? If so then talk to them as much as possible and call them if you can. P.S It's still probably going to be really sad. :(
#51
My cousin and BFF committed suicide last year. And I just can’t get over it. How do you try to start moving on from someone who is really close to you’s suicide?
Final score:
2points
Anthony Goldstein (female) 4 years ago
Last year my BFF tried to commit suicide and died in a car crash leaving the hospital. It sucks a lot. Try writing them an email and don't be afraid to cry.
#52
Hey Pandas I have an annoying siblings that are always bothering me.
Final score:
2points
I love izuku midoriya 4 years ago
Just tell them you need some alone time and lock yourself in your room
#53
I have started hitting myself and calling myself a mistake rubbing it of and going with a fake smile everyone I can't talk about this to anyone because I'll end up getting scolded and getting hit again so any suggestions to overcome this
Final score:
2points
Viviane 4 years ago
That sounds like you self-harm and that your family is also physically abusing you. Physical abuse is serious. Try talking to a trusted adult. Start by asking if they can keep things confidential. It's the law that lawyers, doctors, psychologists have to keep secrets. However, I don't know if they do for a child. Maybe don't give your full name or use a different name until you're comfortable. Another trick, is to pretend that you're asking for a friend. You definitely need to talk to someone.
#54
Also I'm just going through a tough time rn, and I just need a few words of encouragement. It doesn't seem like much but it would mean a lot to me.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 4 years ago
I like your picture - I looked like that when I was in high school, but you look like a sweet person (I was grumpy and serious in my pictures). In your profile, it says that you like cake, music, art, swimming, and animals. I like those too. I'm glad you wrote in, it made me smile -- maybe I need encouragement, too. :)
#55
I have a problem. What should I do with friend that is always a bully, always trying to get on my nerves, and someone in my family looks up to him. And he is not a good role model at all. And they don’t really have a persistent attitude.
Final score:
2points
Viviane 4 years ago
Before giving up - find out if the friend is going through something. My niece helped a bully with his school work and he became her friend. It turned out he was a bully because he was frustrated by school. Later, my niece was bullied by some girls. She scared them and they left her alone. They had no problems, they were just bitches.
#56
My partners is emotionally abusive and i seriously consider separating from him. But i am confused as he is a good father to the child, he earns a lot and buys every property in my name, spends every thing on me even gives me his whole salary, good to my family. But he is emotionally distant, name calling me, never available when i need, even if i am sick he doesnt ask, we hardly talk. He is not gay doesnt have a girl friend, i have asked for divorce amicably but wont let me go. I feel so lonely, this is driving me crazy. What kind of personality is that.
Final score:
2points
Christian Bradshaw 4 years ago
I honestly don't think it matters if he's a good father. If he's making you unhappy, and refuses to work to try to fix it, I don't see a point in staying with him. Your happiness IS important
#57
hello does anyone have advice on how to feel good about how you look? i always appreciate it when people compliment me but i feel like i dont feel good about myself and i really want to be able to look in the mirror or at the scale and feel beautiful regardless of what people say.
Final score:
2points
Sent From The Slytherin House 4 years ago
pick the thing you are most self conscious about. for me it's my feet. Think about it for a whole 5 minutes, everything you dont like. then focus on the things you do like and focus on making that better. Say, for instance, your face but you have acne issues. Work on getting special creams and ointments. Or your skin: get new scrubs and lotion and stuff.
#58
Since you asked, the economy's been a bit of a (bleep) lately with the shut downs and all, so I'll ask that you support small busineses and the artists who supply them. Don't know if it's cool to post my Etsy shop address here or not.
And, if you have any Holiday shopping 'problems', We're here to help!
Final score:
2points
#59
Hi pandas, this is a pretty complicated one. My best friend wants to run away because of their abusive parents and stay either in a shelter or with a friend for the rest of the school year. I would love for them to stay with me but I live too far away and I don't know if my parents are trustworthy. Their mom hits them but I don't know how bad it is. I am really stressed out and I don't know if I should call the police or somebody.
Final score:
2points
#60
My dad is always rude to my sister and I (we are teenagers) when we talk to him and he gaslights us all the time. He used to be nice once upon a time. When we told our mom, she said that he's under a lot of stress during work so we had to bottle up our feelings. Recently, my dad lost his job and spends hours in a room and when he comes outside, he's always trying to control whatever my sister and I do for little things like "stop doing this or that". My sister and I are trying our hardest to be nice all the time but what should we do when my dad is always rude to us? Should we just bottle up our feelings? My mom understands but she comes with random excuses to stop us from hating our dad. Thank you so much!
Final score:
2points
Mr. Bean (Submission author) 4 years ago
sorry for the small mistakes in the text (i was typing fast). thank you!
#61
I am depressed and constantly anxious. i hate everything and everyone hates me. My families homophobic and my dad and brothers constantly call me a faggot. WTF am i supposed to do?
Final score:
2points
Christian Bradshaw 4 years ago
Do you have somewhwre else you can go? That does NOT sound like a healty situation to be in
#62
My friend is very attractive, im talking head-turning. Guys stop to talk to her, waiters only checked in on her & completely ignored me, etc etc. i sound petty but i mean, how can i be ...more likeable like her? Other than the looks part, which is already impossible
Final score:
2points
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
I know that this is going to sound like one of those cliche things that people just say.... But really self-confidence shines much brighter than beauty. I'm willing to bet that a lot of what makes your friend so attractive is the fact that she knows she's attractive and is very confident because of it. If you feel like a wilted wallflower next to her, that's what you're going to look like, because you're not as confident. There are few things as beautiful as an easy, comfortable, self-confident smile. Try to do things that make you feel good about yourself – do something fun with your hair, or do your nails, whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good. When you feel good about yourself, it's going to show and people will notice you more 🙂 And remember, outer beauty captures attention, but inner beauty holds attention 🤗
#63
I feel very stressed out with all the schoolwork I have to do, taking care of myself, eating healthy, finding out who I am, having fun, just basically everything society as well as my parents expect me to do. And I'm also lonely. :(
Final score:
2points
marlene 4 years ago
it's tough, believe me i know. it's hard and it will be hard, i'm not going to lie. but please don't overwork yourself. that will only make things worse. do ur work at an easy pace & TAKE BREAKS !! do ur best to take care of urself, even if it's just washing ur face in the morning. for eating healthy, try to incorporate healthy greens and such into your meals. cheat urself sometimes, even the best of us can't resist a cookie sometimes :D finding out who u are is a long process, something i've been trying to figure out for years. u will get there eventually, so good luck. i believe in u. society is sh!t so pls don't go by stereotypes. u will thank urself in the future, i swear. as for ur parents, they are tough. try to do ur best to please them but not to the extent that it depresses u. loneliness is a tough thing, but try to make new friends and branch out of your comfort zone. easier said than done, but you will thank yourself. these friends might become life-long :]
#64
Too many to count, but can y'all help me out with this one?
I'm young, as in middle school, and I have a boyfriend. I really really like him because he's funny and nice and sensitive, plus I think he's kinda cute... I don't really have any particular problems, but do you pandas have any advice you can give me? Because I like him a lot and I don't want this to end badly.
Final score:
2points
#65
I wanna gain weight but I feel awkward about it is there like a medicine or something that can help
Final score:
2points
#66
i have terrible anxiety with needles. it's so bad i don't want a covid vaccine yet. heck, i get scared about the word shot or vaccine or needle. any tips?
Final score:
2points
Viviane 4 years ago
Try this: start by breathing slowly. Focus on your slow breath... once you're relaxed, imagine a needle, but it is across the room on a table and someone quickly takes it away and leaves. Try that a few times. Then next time you do the breathing exercise, imagine the person taking a little longer to take away the needle.
#67
I have turned to self harm to feel numb.
Final score:
2points
I love izuku midoriya 4 years ago
Dont hurt yourself if you really feel upset I suggest calling a good friend and talk to them for a bit
#68
My younger sisters are always together and I'm always left out. I'm the oldest, but it seems like they team up against me to say mean things. Also, how do you find out if someone likes you if you're too scared/shy/awkward to ask? How do you tell someone you like them? How do you ask for someone's number without making it weird or ruining the friendship if that's the best you can get?
Final score:
1point
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
Here's my advice for the first question: Dude, you're the older sister, so own it! You probably had to change their diapers or something when they were babies, so they don't have the right to be mean to you.
#69
How do i know if my crush likes me back
Final score:
1point
Sent From The Slytherin House 4 years ago
Take the chance. My crush did that. He asked me out I said idk and i came to my decision and few days later and said yes. Now we are dating. It worked out.
#70
How do I confess my feelings to a girl? I am thinking of telling her, but every time I come to it, I chicken out. what to do? (Advice preferably from girls)
Final score:
1point
Guy on the internet (Submission author) 4 years ago
Disclaimer: This is my single brother's question. I've been married for 5 years, lol 😉
#71
I want to come out as gay to my family (besides my mom and dad, they already know). I love them, and don't like hiding things from them. But, I have no idea how they'll react. On the one hand, I know they love me, but on the other hand, I don't know how open-minded they are. I don't know how they'll react. If they react like my parents did,, I'll be grateful, but our family is a Christian family, and I don't really know their opinion on gay people
Final score:
1point
#72
Known I was bi for a bit now, told a friend, but idk how to tell my parents, any advice would be helpful.
Final score:
1point
Bisexual bean 4 years ago
I am bi too and i had the same issue. I wish i had told them. they found my trevorspace account and confronted me. I hated it because i had no choice. you still have that choice. tell them
#73
I never believed in god. My direct family does. They aren't necessarily mean or strict about it but I don't know how to tell them.
Final score:
1point
Viviane 4 years ago
One approach is to say that you don't believe in God, but you have no problem with people being religious and you totally respect their views. You can then decide on how to compromise. My husband attends religious services (online now because of the pandemic), I don't, except a few times a year.
#74
Why is there so much hate? People say they want equality, like how women say they want to be equal to men, but they won't believe that girls can be just as toxic as boys, why is this?
Sorry, Its just this has been a problem I have been trying to solve..
Final score:
1point
dandelion moon 4 years ago
Some women are just crazy and they take it too far. I don't know why, but I wish I did. As long as you're nice to people, and people are nice to you, that's all that matters. Don't give the crazy ones any of your attention.
#75
The Chicago Bulls can't get a top pick and continually have been bad for like the last 15 years.
Final score:
0points
Average Grizzlies Fan (Submission author) 4 years ago
Before you say I'm a Bulls hater, they are my 2nd favorite team (behind the Grizzlies)
#76
I have this crush. She is super kind, pretty and she seems like the perfect person for me. Problem is shes straight and taken. But I have seen her boyfriend around other girls. Recently we have been growing apart, and me and her bf HATE EACH OTHER. so, if she doesnt believe me, or he lies, and btw she knows i like her, or she pulls the jealous card, what do i do?
Final score:
0points
Neva Nevičica 4 years ago
Stay away from people who pull 'jealous cards' and stuff. For your own good. She knows you like her...and that's pretty much all you can do. Don't interfere in othe peoples relationships, it always ends up bad.
#77
I wanted to re-join the amish community, which I left about a decade ago. I know this is complicated, but do you have any advice or tips on what to do? I have small children who haven't experienced what it is like.
Final score:
0points
Viviane 4 years ago
My questions here: What draws you back to the Amish community? Is it something that you can only get in the Amish community? What will it be like for your children? Is there a spouse that you would have to consult about this? What are your dreams for your children? Has there been changes in the Amish community since you left? I would look at the pros and cons for all affected, see what compromises might be needed. One of my sisters moved close to my parents -- it was a mix in that they were still difficult parents, but very good grandparents to her children.
#78
Many people in my friend group have problems at home and are very stressed. My life is not perfect either. But whenever something bad happens to my friends, we all work through it together and take them to the school social worker and try to make their life more bearable. But I try not to bring my own problems up, because I feel like I put pressure on my friends. My life is stressful, but not stressful enough to be the main focus of my friends.
Plus, my friends read boredpanda too. They are probably checking the name right now and I feel terrible for putting this out there where they can see it and feel bad.
Final score:
0points
Kat 4 years ago
Helping a friend with a problem doesn't have to be an increase of your own stress and problems... It can actually make you feel better about yourself too... Don't decide in their behalf on how to feel and if they can help or not. It sounds like you have something strong going on. Keep it strong by sharing. Don't pull away .
#79
i know this is not as serious as the others but how do i say no to someone asking me to be a girlfriend to them?!?!?!?! he gave me a few days but i need a little bit of help
Final score:
0points
marlene 4 years ago
just be honest. forcing yourself into a relationship with someone you don't like is torture and NOT worth it. just tell him something like, "i like you, but not like that. we can be friends but a relationship is not something i think i'm ready for" or something like that. good luck !!
#80
i'm failing health class and my mother doesn't seem to accept me for who i am 🏳️🌈 if you know what i mean.
Final score:
0points
#81
Ok try to solve this for me pls: I am polyamorous so I prefer to date more than one person but it’s not cheating because it’s like a threesome or foursome, but anyways my current girlfriend is not polyamorous and someone I like likes me back and I’ve tried ignoring my feelings before but they just came back and now I’m confused but I’m not going to cheat on my girlfriend because that is just messed up but I can’t reject the person I like because I won’t stop liking them I tried it and it did t work last time so we are in the exact same situation and I need help🥲
Final score:
0points
#82
Me and my friend got out of a toxic friendship a few years ago, but it damaged her more than me. She often asks me if she is being too clingy and annoying when she most definitely is not. We are best friends, but sometimes I feel like there is a sort of small barrier that was put between us, so we are not being completely honest ( idk if that is the right word ) or as close as we could be due to the toxic friendship. How do I take down these barriers so we can be more close?
Final score:
0points
Mr. Bean 4 years ago
Hi!! I think the most effective way to take down the awkward barrier is to sit her down and talk to her (probably have a zoom meeting now lol) about how you feel. Tell her that you want to be good friends but in order for that to happen, you have to let go of the past. She might feel as though you don't like having her around so to confirm that you enjoy having her around might make her more comfortable. Good luck!
#83
why does school think its a good idea to cram science fair into a single quarter instead of just skipping it?
Final score:
0points
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
Schools make bad decisions sometimes – I guess just like the rest of us. Remember they're probably also under pressure from parents, educational boards, politics... it's unfair to the students at the end of the day, but unfortunately there's not much you can do, right? Good luck with your science fair! 🤗
#84
I think I’m bisexual. This isn’t a problem, I’m just really confused... help?
Final score:
0points
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
Like I kind of want to copy and paste a comment I already posted on a different question 😋 Dont stress about it, just go with whatever feels right and natural to you, you don't have to label yourself. Maybe you're bisexual or maybe you're pansexual or maybe whatever 🤷🏻♀️ Do what makes you happy ❤
#85
I’m trying to write an album, but none of my lyrics are sticking. I have all these ideas, lyrics that I think are awesome, but then when I go to write them down I forget them. I ended up writing a song about a gas station once because I had an awesome idea that had “serv-o” as ONE LYRIC but then it ended up engulfing the entire song. Anyone know of any creative exercises for songwriters?
Final score:
-1point
Sent From The Slytherin House 4 years ago (edited)
Idk any of those, but i have an idea for a song. I tried it, but maybe you'll have better luck. It can be a song around the title "Think About You" and the line goes, "You might think I'm obsessed with you but I'm not, I just think about you a lot." I came up with it when I was just randomly improving while doing some homework, it sounded good to me, but Idk what it would sound like if not in english, since the line rhymes. Please give it some thought, and if anypanda comes up with anything good, can they tell me pls? I don't mean to be uptight or anything but I came up with it and I think it could actually be a great idea for a song. So I would wanna know. Thanks, and I hope I helped. (Also I wish you luck). (Alllso, do y'all think its a good idea?)
#86
20 random cards are placed in a neat row, all faced down. A move consists of two steps: Turning only a face-down card face up, and then turning over the card immediately and keeping it on the right side. Show that no matter what the choice of cards, the sequence must terminate.
Final score:
-1point
Sent From The Slytherin House 4 years ago
You should make an ask pandas post to ask about a hard (but solvable) puzzle or riddle. That would be fun. I would do it but I dont have time right now and will probably forget. Can someone pls do this? thanks :)
What do you think ?
marlene 4 years ago
true, but not everyone does or wants to bother, or just prefers boredpanda, yk ? :D
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 4 years ago
ANSWER TO NUMBER 23 HERE: I’m an older sibling to, and it definitely hurts to be left out or targeted. See if you can make peace? Spend a day together, whether it’s at home or outside. Teach them something new. It’ll be hard, but give it a try. Also: when asking for someone’s number, stay very calm, even laugh or grin a little when you say “hey, can I have your number?” If they say yes, awesome. If they say no, say you understand and don’t think about it or bring it up later. Take baby steps when telling someone you like them, once again, keep it calm. Best of luck!
Alan R Fraser 4 years ago
I have a "not so burning" question! Where did the expression "Up the Bruce" come from? Somehow I think that it has a Scottish background. Can I get some replies and maybe where to get more information?
marlene 4 years ago
true, but not everyone does or wants to bother, or just prefers boredpanda, yk ? :D
Load More Replies... Sophia Gentile 4 years ago
ANSWER TO NUMBER 23 HERE: I’m an older sibling to, and it definitely hurts to be left out or targeted. See if you can make peace? Spend a day together, whether it’s at home or outside. Teach them something new. It’ll be hard, but give it a try. Also: when asking for someone’s number, stay very calm, even laugh or grin a little when you say “hey, can I have your number?” If they say yes, awesome. If they say no, say you understand and don’t think about it or bring it up later. Take baby steps when telling someone you like them, once again, keep it calm. Best of luck!
Alan R Fraser 4 years ago
I have a "not so burning" question! Where did the expression "Up the Bruce" come from? Somehow I think that it has a Scottish background. Can I get some replies and maybe where to get more information?
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