Hey Pandas, Tell Us About A Time You Or Someone You Know Made A Mistake That Ruined Their Reputation (Closed)

First impressions are very important, they set expectations. But the dangerous thing is when you break those expectations. Tell us a story when you damaged your reputation or you lost respect for someone because of a mistake.

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This is less a mistake and more a calculated move that backfired.

I had two really close friends in highschool. My mum would call us the three amigos. We were also in a typical teenage love triangle-- I was really into him (and he'd string me along just enough), he was into her (she was not interested in him at all).

After he had attempted a couple times to convince her to date him, and getting rejected each time he decided to ask her younger sister who looked very much like her. We all thought (the larger friend group) it was kind of weird but tolerated it because her sister seemed to like him and not feel pressured and he seemed to genuinely like her(though me being cynical felt he was using the sister as a stand in for the friend he actually wanted and given the 4yr age difference I confronted him about not taking this girl's feelings in stride or take advantage of her naivety-- he assured me that he genuinely liked the sister).

Well... one evening, over the summer before uni, our friend came home to him attempting to force her sister into sleeping with him. She told him to get the hell out and then, enraged wrote the details on social media. Putting him on blast for being predatory, a pedo and a bully. Because the friend group was very tightly woven all her friends were also his friends and as such saw the post.

He was entirely ostracized from friend groups by everyone except me because I had had a tech-free summer so missed the entire thing. Come first year uni the original posts had been deleted (I found out later that her sister requested it because people would reach out to her with support though she wasn't directly named and the reminder was too much which was very fair). All I knew was there had been some sort of falling out that caused him to change his number and refuse to talk about our mutual friend. She had gone offline because he had taken to harassing her and threatening her so my only access to the story was what he said which was admittedly nothing.

Most of our friends were in his programme at uni so he struggled to make new friends there and so he resorted to becoming very controlling with me and (as I found out later) cyber stalking and harassing her little sister.

I finally found out about the whole thing after seeing her at graduation and getting her new number. I confronted him but he assured me that it was a mistake and a misunderstanding and that he was bashed online to the point of self-harm and self-destruction. And... having cared about him for so long and having been close, I'm ashamed to admit that I believed him.

The rose coloured glasses fell off when he tried to force himself on me when we were both in relationships. About a week later I met her sister for the first time since the incident and genuinely saw how scared she was of him. I cut him off immediately.

He was an absolute pariah and honestly I don't think his social life ever fully recovered since his field is so tight knit. Last I heard he changed his name. Occasionally I run into him or he reaches out to reconnect and he will ask me about very specific things happening in my life that he clearly read from my/other friend's socials which weirds me out but I don't engage because the dude's a creep.

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Final score:

9points

Hales

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Agent 8433599 1 year ago

Wow, that's horrible.

3points

About 8 months into a new job (whilst still on probation) I got pregnant after having casual sex with a colleague. I was judged for that.
What they didn’t know is that a month before starting my new job I was raped and escaped from a terrifying situation. I slept with my colleague because I wanted to do something enjoyable and I felt safe with him. But I'll always be that person who was reckless and got knocked up by a colleague.

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Final score:

7points

Missmic

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Agent 8433599 1 year ago

I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope your doing better

3points

So I've been dog training since i was a little girl, I've competed all over north America in various sports with many dogs.

One instance that comes to mind was when this prestigious dog school showed up with their trainers. They were well respected and all that. I watched in awe, I was still a kid and while I was talented they still were the peopleI had looked up to. (Ironically I only got into it because they refused to teach me more and said that my dog, because he was a rottweiler, was not good enough to compete-- I ended up the highest ranked handler in Canada and that dog was at the time the highest ranked rottweiler in obedience and was at one point the third best obedience working dog.)

One of the women had a dog named Scarlet and Scarlet didn't do as well as she had hoped. I went outside to walk my own dog and she was out there screaming at her dog and literally beating the dog. I felt so angry, I immediately told the club and she was told to leave and was banned from competing with a formal inquiry being made. I made sure to tell everyone I knew from the area. Their dog school still exists but are substantially less prestigious and less attended than before. It broke my heart what happened. That isn't how shows usually are and I make sure to always bring my best self with representing with my dogs.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose but if anything ever gets you so riled that you beat on a creature that loves you unconditionally then you deserve the absolute worst in life.

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Final score:

6points

Hales

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Saturn Rings 1 year ago

Animal abusers deserve to rot in hell.

4points

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Okay. So.

A couple of years ago me and my brother started shoplifting. We got caught and we didn't do it again. BUT. He stopped stealing all together.

For me, it evolved into a crippling addiction that took 2 1/2 years to break.

During This time, I was seriously abused, malnourished and overall mistreated by my mother's ex.

About 5 months ago, I started seriously improving, and now, I don't steal anymore.

If a 14 year old can break an addiction to stealing, 40 year old's can break an addiction to drugs/cigarettes.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

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Final score:

4points

Xavier_Is_Sus

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Angi 1 year ago

I don't quite agree with that. I gave up stealing years ago but giving up nicotine I'm still working on. I personally think it's different for everyone. I'm glad you are doing better and I hope it continues. Stay strong my friend.

3points

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It was elementary school and I shaved half of my head off because I liked it, people DESPISED me for it but you know what, I really could care less. But people really took that into consideration for why? I have no clue. I'm now in high school and people still remember it. Hey, if I move far away nobody will know :D

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Final score:

3points

Grooks

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Agent 8433599 1 year ago

That is so stupid that people hold your HAIR against you! It's just a hairstyle!

2points

My (former) best friend was talking about me behind my back, and I actually heard her talking about my grades, as well as telling a secret I had trusted her with to another person. She also said something along the lines of "I don't like Michael, he probably was adopted, haha." She's no longer my friend, and I don't keep in contact.

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Final score:

3points

CallaghanLive

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MarcyParlomerNerdGirlsRock 1 year ago

If it was me I’d find a bunch of cool new friends who actually care about myself and go stick it into her face and act smug and generally grab every opportunity to p**s her off and get perfect grades. Talking about my own weird revenge priorities, lol.

1point

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I'm not sure if this counts, but whatever. When I was young I was super shy, and still am pretty shy, and so I've had a difficult time making friends and stuff. That caused me to not really have friends until around 8th grade. And I basically only have female friends and apparently that means you're gay?? I'm 1000% not dissing the LGBTQ+ community, but it's always awkward having a friend and them trying to set you up with another girl.

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Final score:

3points

And my name's Jennifer

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I accidentally shared some opinions with people on tumblr who didn’t agree ( there’s a reason my username is as such :P) a few years back. I understand I was being a child I some things I did during all that drama but dang.. I’m happy they’re still out of my life. I have much better friends now but yeah, I was hated for a while. Don’t ask what I said, I’d probably be hated on my some people here too XD

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Final score:

2points