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25submissions
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Hey Pandas, Talk About The Silly Things Your Pets Do, But Call Them Your Roommates
E.g. "My roommate hates taking baths, and scratches me when I try to convince her."
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#1
my roommate sits on me and proceeds to slowly and painfully stab me if i try to get up
Final score:
5points
RELATED:
#2
My roommate is such a weirdo. He drags his bed out of the house and then sleeps wherever he left it...even if it's raining on him.
He also has this weird obsession with kissing cats without their permission and then shouting when they slap him.
Final score:
4points
#3
My roommate grunts and rolls around when he doesn't get the attention he wants, and also eats socks
Final score:
3points
#4
My roommate likes attacking fish toys and falling off of bookshelves
Final score:
3points
#5
My roommate has a deathly fear of stairs and starts screaming loudly every time she has to go up or down them. Half the time I end up having to carry her.
Final score:
3points
#6
My roommate poops in a box and sometimes he yells loudly to announce that he took a dump. If I wake up late, he yells at me to feed him. He also likes to sit on my lap and to sleep on me.
Final score:
2points
#7
UGHHHH my roommates sh*t on the go, so I have to pick it up. Sometimes, they pee in their dishes and leave me to clean them. They scream at me to feed them, but they don't eat the pile of hay that they like to sit in. 🙄
Final score:
2points
#8
My roommates float in a tank of water all day and stare out at me with beady eyes
Final score:
2points
#9
my roommate has to come in the bathroom with me. if i dont let her come in then she'll sit outside the door and scream. if i do let her in then she sits on top of a cabinet and bites me while i poop. she likes to climb up screen doors and rip them, and if we leave a candle on the table then she'll try to play with fire. she's currently taking a nap on the kitchen table. pray for me.
Final score:
2points
#10
my roommate carries a dirty yellow duck around everywhere and has claimed every chair in the house as his own, and lays on his back every time he sees me with his arms in the air
Final score:
1point
#11
My roommate screams at me every morning and likes it when I scream back. He also gives me hugs when I wake up. He also keeps eating banana peels from the trash and throws them up everywhere
Final score:
1point
#12
My roommate is an idiot and kind of creepy. They stand there watching me whether I'm watching tv or trying to take a nap. They always have a tennis ball in their mouth and their tongue hanging out. I sometimes throw their precious ball and my roommate literally runs into trees to get it back. My roommate is social enough but mostly hangs with me. My roommate is a cutie and it's fun to chill with him when he doesn't have a crazy gleam in his eyes and his head in my lap.
Final score:
1point
#13
My roommate has a war with technology. We have caught her smacking the DVD player and chewing on various things while we're holding them. Remotes, laptops, cellphones, even mom's watch. She only does it if you are holding it, though.
Final score:
1point
#15
My roommate randomly gets up in the middle of the night and goes to lie down and sleep on the hardwood floor instead of their bed.
Final score:
0points
#16
My roommate loves talking and singing, dancing too. He flies all over the place and loves giving me kisses. He absolutely loves to look at himself in the mirror and to tell himself how cute he is. He goes to the bathroom everywhere and I'm left to clean it up while he parties.
Final score:
0points
#17
My roommate eats her own poop, and has convinced herself that bugs taste great.
Final score:
0points
#18
My roommate is weirdly quiet, I'm pretty sure he's mute.
He doesn't eat unless I feed him from my hands.
When we go outside and it gets windy he curls up against my outer thigh.
He hates taking baths, and he always runs out of the bathroom when he has too (ew)
He always is licking me and likes it when I call him baby.
And he always sits on my laundry.
Final score:
0points
#19
My roommate barged in the bathroom and hopped into the bath while I was in it.
Final score:
0points
#20
One of my roommates barfed on my comforter.
Final score:
0points
#21
My roommate jumps on the counter to try to steal food and chews on things left on the ground.
Final score:
0points
#22
My roommate used to chase away other wannabe roommates and demand massages. He was also the resident mouse catcher.
Final score:
0points
#23
My roommate loves to crawl on my dad and start eating his shirt where his armpit is and my other roommate will viciously grapple onto you and kick and bite you.
Roommate=hedgehog
Other roommate=cat
Final score:
0points
#24
I have s few roommates 2 of them like locking their balls while sat in the middle of the floor! Another one likes to eat poo and then acts stupid when they get told off! One is moody and stamps their feet if they don't get a long enough hug!
Final score:
0points
#25
My roommate waits until I get out of bed to pee in the middle of the night and takes my place. When I come back, she's laying next to my husband, her head on my pillow- facing me so that when I lay down, we're nose to nose, so she can lean over and lick me.
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
My roommate slept curled up in a ball on my pillow, then scrambled around in the middle of the night to scream at an owl and ended up knocking the pillow and herself off of the bed.
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
She also insists on claiming whatever seat I am in the process of sitting down on as her own.
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GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
My roommate slept curled up in a ball on my pillow, then scrambled around in the middle of the night to scream at an owl and ended up knocking the pillow and herself off of the bed.
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
She also insists on claiming whatever seat I am in the process of sitting down on as her own.
Load More Replies... 
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