Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Share your shower thoughts!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When you say the word "Touch" your lips don't touch. But, if you say the word "Separate" your lips touch...... You just tried this, didn't you?
Final score:
17points
ツ𝕴𝖙𝖟_𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗_𝕲𝖎𝖗𝖑ツ 4 years ago
OMG THAT LAST PART " You just tried this, didn't you? " I READ THAT RIGHT AS I TRIED IT *face palm*
RELATED:
#2
A pizza’s shape is round. It’s delivered in a box. And you cut it into triangles.
The person who would proof read Hitler’s speeches was a grammar Nazi.
When a pregnant woman swims, she is a human submarine.
i have more if you want :)
Final score:
14points
#3
Here are some, i found on bored panda
1. Randomly hearing your favorite song on the radio is more satisfying than playing it directly from your ipod.
2.Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
3. As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook.
4. Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor it'd be insulting.
5. When you say 'Forward' or 'Back', your lips move in those directions.
6. I've woken up over 10,000 times and I'm still not used to it
7. Somewhere in the world, there is somebody with your dream job that hates going to work everyday.
SO true
Final score:
14points
#4
We have to pretend that we're asleep to actually fall asleep
Final score:
13points
#5
1. By the time you are finished reading this sentence, 5 volcanoes have erupted around the world
2. Every minute, somebody around the world dies from Covid
3. Every 5 minutes, somebody is born and somebody dies.
4. When a morgue worker dies, they have to go to work once more.
5. Brushing your teeth is the only time you can clean your skeleton
6. You've never seen your own face before, only in pictures, videos, reflections, etc.
I have more if you want. ;)
Final score:
10points
#6
1. what if ghosts say "boo" because they only haunt people they disliked, and all they do is "boo" them from the afterlife. so it's not to scare you, it's to show you that they think you suck.
2. apple has "air." amazon has "fire." google has "earth." I think Microsoft should create something called "water."
3. is the S or the C silent in scent?
4. in a wedding 2 families enter but only 1 family leaves.
5. "middle of the night water" tastes so much better than normal water.
Final score:
9points
#7
There are more butt cheeks in the world than humans. Stolen with love from Liza Koshy
Final score:
9points
I'm a makeup addict 4 years ago
omg, this is the most hilarious one I have seen! this is my favorite one!!
#8
WHY DID MY BROTHER USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER IT'S SO COLD NOW AHHHHHHHH
Yup, that's pretty much all my thoughts in the shower.
Final score:
9points
ツ𝕴𝖙𝖟_𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗_𝕲𝖎𝖗𝖑ツ 4 years ago
lmao i dont think that what this person meant but thanks for the laugh :)
#9
The fact that popular culture may well have T-Rex wrong. As we are increasingly finding out that dinosaurs are related to birds, and many had feathers. Now what if the T-Rex was aquatic? Like a ginormous nightmare duck.
Final score:
7points
#10
These are all stolen, I am not creative:
Turning up the volume is like zooming in but with sound. Centaurs have 2 rib cages. Candles have been changed from using to see to something to smell.
Final score:
7points
#11
1. Why are buildings called buildings if there already built.
2. What was scars name before the scar.
3. If you cut your arm off where would you feel the pain because you saint have an arm to feel the pain.
4. That everyone has their house broken into every year
5. If Adam and Eve were the first people on earth does that mean everyone should have the same last name and everyone is related.
Final score:
6points
#12
Since there is always at least one pregnant woman in the world, the average number of vertebrae in the human body is always more than one. 0_0
Final score:
5points
#13
If you were born deaf, what language would you think in.
Final score:
5points
#14
If you’re waiting on the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?
If you’re cleaning a vaccum cleaner, aren’t you the vaccum cleaner?
Final score:
5points
#15
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Therefore, a coconut is a mammal. (Thank you for coming to my TedTalk)
Final score:
5points
#16
Not sure if this counts, but it was keeping me up last night so here goes...
'Antonym' is an antonym of synonym, but 'synonym' is not a synonym of antonym
Final score:
4points
#17
My cat doesn’t know what Oklahoma is.
Final score:
4points
#18
You can’t imagine a new smell
Final score:
4points
#19
Yo... sorry for another post... but I just realized like 2 minutes ago.
Think about a really high note and play it in your head. Then try to go to the next highest note. Unless if you actually sing the note. you cant think about it :O
Final score:
4points
#20
not mine!!!
what if theres water on mars because we used to live there a million years ago and we sent adam and eve in a space pod to earth because our civilization was dying and that pod was the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs
i dunno just something to think about
Final score:
4points
#21
You cant move your top teeth
If you drop soap is the floor clean or soap dirty?
Brushing your teeth is the only time you wash your skeleton
Final score:
3points
#22
What if I randomly grew a pizza tree on my head? I think about some crazy s**t.
Final score:
3points
#23
Fire is like a virus, you can give it to people and they can catch it.(as in the fire spreading to them)
Final score:
2points
Imtiredandiwannagotobed 4 years ago
And, burning flesh smells AWFUL, so maybe people would stay away and social distance.
#25
sleeping is like the trailer to death. some would say they want the full movie and now im sad.
Final score:
2points
Memento Mori 4 years ago
I've always wondered if this counts as a suicidal thought: if I could have a free sample of death, I would take it in a heartbeat
#26
You cannot be pro-life if you are also an anti-masker. At best, you are simply pro-fetus.
Final score:
2points
#27
1. Hm.... If a cat lost its tail, would it still be able to land on all 4 feet?
2. 4-leaf clover means good luck, would a 5-6-7-8.etc leaf clover mean 2x or 3x the good luck?
3. The speed of light is the same as the speed of dark.
4. Why is there a thing called Grapefruit if there is a fruit called a grape?
5. You never see advertisements for Microwaves...
6. If you look at one star during the day its blinding, but if you look at a million stars at night its soothing.
7. The first human to go to another solar system might be greeted by more humans who left later but on a faster ship.
8. In super mario 64. the basement of peach's castle had flooded despite peach being friends with 2 plumbers...
9. Dora calls herself an explorer but only travels through mapped territories.
10. The first person to hear a parrot speak probably spent a good while questioning his sanity...
I has more...
Final score:
2points
#28
If you think about it, birthdays are really satanic rituals about chanting around a flaming object that represents the amount of years taken off your life, upon which the flames are blown out and a knife is stabbed through it (I have so many of these lol)
Final score:
2points
#29
Are Medusa’s leg hairs just tiny snakes?
Final score:
2points
#30
They never said Humpty Dumpty was an egg
Final score:
2points
#31
1. In captain America the first avenger why didn’t he jump out of the plane like he did in captain America the winter soldier?
2. Why are the letters on a keyboard not in alphabetical order?
3. God has the power to make life on earth and women have the power to make life on earth so doesn’t that make god a woman? #ArianaGrande #Godisawoman
4. The person who made letters must hate the person who made numbers with 9 numbers you can make an infinite amount of numbers but with 26 letters you can only make 171,476 words in the English alphabet
5. Are there such things as baby’s named Karen or do they spawn at the age of 40?
Final score:
2points
Giselle Soler Turner (Submission author) 4 years ago
Oh and I forgot one the incredibles named there son dash before they knew his power
#32
When you say "forward" or "backward" your lips move in that direction.
If you keep on adding odd numbers in order (1+3+5+7+9+11...) you will always get a square number (1+3=2², 4+5=3², 9+7=4², 16+9=5², 25+11=6², etc)
yeah I'm kind of a nerd :)
Final score:
2points
RuralAnemone (Submission author) 4 years ago
although that's kinda part of the definition of square numbers...
#33
Swiss cheese has holes...
More cheese = more holes
more holes = less cheese
More cheese = less cheese
wait.
Final score:
2points
#34
WELL-EXPRESSED is dialed using only the odd numbers on a telephone keypad.
NONCOMMUNICATING uses only even numbers.
Final score:
1point
#35
I want a twin who is 5 minutes younger than me so I can say "When I was your age..." and then proceed to tell them what I did 5 minutes ago.
Final score:
1point
#36
We drive in a parkway, but park in a driveway. Why? I don’t know.
Final score:
0points
#37
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Related on Bored Panda
