A person assaulted me with milk, cream and cheese! How DAIRY!

Report

Final score:

12points

LightYagami

POST

The tree had a really interesting life until it ended up in the saw mill. Now it's board.

Report

Final score:

11points

SlothyK8

POST

A dung beetle walks into a bar. Has a look around and leaves. All the stools were taken.

Report

Final score:

10points

Geoff Pearce

POST

My wife told me that I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

Report

Final score:

8points

Penguin Panda Pop

POST

Show comments

What does a tickle-me Elmo get before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.


What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

Report

Final score:

7points

Tiramisu

POST

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium...
Which group of friends should you always take to dinner? Your taste buds...

Report

Final score:

6points

Kevin the Manager

POST

A fish swims smack into a brick wall: Dam!

Report

Final score:

5points

Shoshana Sherrington

POST

When god came for the dinosaurs, that was the velci-rapture

Report

Final score:

4points

Rae Rory

POST

Show comments

"What is a pirate's favourite letter?"
- A letter of marque

"What does James Bond to before bed?"
- He goes under cover

"Can February March?"
- No, but April May

Report

Final score:

4points

TotallyNOTAFox

POST

Show comments

William Shatner held a press conference the other day, ranting about how someone had broken into his trailer and stolen his hairpiece. He said that there would be hell toupee.

Report

Final score:

4points

Tracy Wallick

POST

Show comments

A good pun is like a steak: a rare medium well-done

Report

Final score:

2points

wowbagger

POST

Penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down. Eating with flippers, ice cream everywhere.

After, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "Looks like you blew a seal." "No no no!" the penguin hastily replies, "it's just ice cream!"

Report

Final score:

2points

Bartlet would like you to vote

POST

What do you call the best omelet in the world?
Eggcelent.

Report

Final score:

1point

Pan-cake

POST

Knitting is my purl of wisdom.

Report

Final score:

1point

LAS

POST

You've heard of Alphabet Soup? Get ready for Times New Ramen.

I was thinking about moving to Switzerland for a few reasons, and the flag was a big plus.

Why are pterodactyl's so quiet when they go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

Report

Final score:

1point

CG

POST

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he wants. The man looks at the dude on the bar stool and asked what he is having. The dude says "magic beer, watch this!" He takes a glue of the beer, runs up the stairs to the roof, jumps off the roof and flies a lap around the building. The dude walks back in and sits down. The man says "Wow! I want that one!" The man grabs the dudes beer and slams it back, runs up the stairs and plummets to his death. The bartender tells the dude, "Superman, your real mean when your drunk

-sorry for the paragraph

Report

Final score:

0points

"Spork"

POST

Show comments

Angel: How are sales going? Baker: Hallah-lujah!

Report

Final score:

0points

⭐ Brunch_ Buddy ⭐

POST

Did you hear about the new restaurant the just opened on the moon?
The food's great, but there's not atmosphere!
(thanks to Randy Ollis, former meteorologist in indiana)

Report

Final score:

0points

Cathy Jo Baker

POST

Show comments

This Punda doesn't share puns

Report

Final score:

-2points

sturmwesen

POST