Hey Pandas, Post A Terribly Out Of Context Sentence (Closed)

We've all heard them. Any normal sentence that overheard or taken out of context suddenly becomes very weird and confusing. Post one you've said or overheard.

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"It's okay for your father to be an owl."

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Final score:

8points

Skater Chick (they/them)

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

#Owlsagainstaociety

8points

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i might get downvoted but this was NOT ME saying it, this was my friend possibly former friend saying it and i do not share the same opinion now to get into the words "if you have a wee wee your a guy, if you have a uh, the other thing your a girl" he proceeded to get educated by 5 girls oh i also heard "straight white men are the worst" by one of them

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Final score:

8points

jordan (pineapple he/she)

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

My version of that: if you are a hoomin, you are hoomin.

6points

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T H Y R O I D

*context* i was listening to a podcast and they said something that sounded vaguely like T H Y R O I D.

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Final score:

7points

Invisigoth (xe/xem)

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

T H Y R O I D

5points

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I have a ton from my friend's quote book
1) 'why isn't Shrek a lesbian?' (Me, talking about our school play of Shrek the musical where the one dude who auditioned for Shrek got it)
2) 'God. He wants his slurp juice' (you don't want to know)
3)'I'm going to push you off the fence' (my choir teacher, artfully using a metaphor)
4) 'I'm gay but I'd kill for a lemon bar' (me!!)

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Final score:

7points

crowspectre (he/they)

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freakingbee is going offline 1 year ago

I LOVE SHREK THE MUSICAL

8points

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I guess I'll start:
"If a snake is civilized enough to drink tea with it's tail, you can sleep with it."

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Final score:

5points

Menacing Duck

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

Wasn't this when you were talking about which snakes were dangerous?

4points

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"I shouldn't be accounting for how much bodily harm a gun can cause to an alien if I'm filling the city streets with dozens and dozens of snakes..."

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Final score:

5points

MaximumKarmaSaint

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P.C. 1 year ago

More comic material

4points

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Why are you in the floor, you need to go to neptune to get baptised over a cat

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Final score:

4points

Ruby White

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

Video game I'm guessing?

3points

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If you eat a fossil in the future , it will not turn into the creature when you come back to now!

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Final score:

4points

Grudge-holding Treefrog

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This project is giving 'Untitled Document' vibes...

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Final score:

4points

sleepy.axolotl

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I_Am_So_???? 1 month ago

Relatable

0points

#10

"did you hide the bodies yet?"

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Final score:

3points

lacysuu ,

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#11

“Pune is the USA of Maharashtra”

Context: Pune is a city in India in a state called Maharashtra and there’s a stereotype about people from there being very self centred. A friend of mine from Pune said this

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Final score:

3points

Stardust she/her

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MicrowaveGoddess 1 year ago

Me reading this in Pune

1point

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#12

"You may have a gun, BUT I HAVE A TRUCK!!!"

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Final score:

3points

MaximumKarmaSaint

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

War of the texans

4points

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#13

this one was said to me, so i have the context but i’m sure it was strange to anyone passing by:

my uncle: “Mitya, i will drink ALL YOUR VODKA AND MAYONEZ RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU”

*i was very clearly 8 years old*

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Final score:

3points

ЛеснойКороль(they/he)🇺🇦🇷🇺

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Pineapple (he/him) 1 year ago

i love this

3points

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#14

Warning: dark humor
"Hey, why can't orphans play baseball?"
"...why?"
"They don't know where home is"

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Final score:

2points

Taswell the fox(he/him)

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

goddamn... thats hilarious

3points

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See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#15

"I wanna get burnt at the stake"

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Final score:

2points

Gambit22

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

All at some point...

2points

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#16

A few of my favorites (some from bp, some irl):
- "MY F*CKING DORITOS"
- (Just the entire conversation when Donut and Betta tried to eat me)
- "I am about two seconds from turning into a ball of sparkly rainbow fury"
- "I am a bian.. a biean? idk"
- "I am one with the beanbag"
- "Well now I want an alpaca farm"
- "The IQ of mayonnaise"
- "Curry is an unusual weather phenomenon"
- "Obviously tofu is an endangered resource"
- C̴̡̧̡̨̛͚̦̙̺͙̺̖͓̫͑̓́̔͜͝Ḧ̷̡̦̹͎̺̠͍̈̑̄͆̕̕̚̚͘͝͠ͅA̶͈̤͍̻͇̰̤̯̒͜I̸̢̱̼̘̯̙̝̯̤͎͑͒̉͠R̵̡̡̘̝̤̬̳̦̼̲̺̘͙̀̂͑͂́̒̾̎͊̌̚͘͜

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Final score:

2points

A Wild Bean (they/them/any)

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A Wild Bean (they/them/any) (Submission author) 1 year ago

Oh I also forgot "For the millionth time, I KNOW I still have my liver"

2points

#17

i can't believe we've finally slept together. totally worth digging out your grave.

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Final score:

2points

luvsick

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

When I read this I physically felt punched for some reason.

2points

#18

I have 4-6:

Not necessarily funny: “Door. Hinge. Sah. Rynge.”

This be true tho: “It’s not a slapping if I didn’t slap you.”

Odd even with context: “You got a pimple because you didn’t wipe your butt!”

Just, no: “Seal butt gloss.”

Confusing without context: “Something!”

Something I said: “But I can’t, my eyebrow’s itchy.”

My sister: “OW MY ANKLE KNOBS.” - referring to her knuckles, interestingly enough.

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Final score:

1point

P.C.

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