Warning: If you are currently suffering from an eating disorder and think that reading about other peoples experiences will trigger more disordered eating or anxiety, or if you are not in the right mental space to have this conversation, please do not continue reading. Sending love and support!
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I am now about a month into anorexia recovery (and going strong!) eating whatever I want, whenever I am hungry. The hardest thing so far has been an irrational fear of weight gain - I am already a healthy bmi, and I know some weight gain is necessary, but it still scares me! I am also experiencing extreme hunger at the moment, which feels very strange, since for a while I didn't even register hunger.
For people who are just starting their anorexia recovery journey, here are a few things I wish I knew before (although these might not all be true for you): First of all, listen to your hunger, even if you are hungry ALL THE TIME, you need to trust your body. It needs to readjust and get out of survival mode so your metabolism can get back up to where it used to be.
Second: Weight gain is not as drastic as you think. You may feel like you are getting larger and larger, but once you are in a healthy place, it really isn't noticeable, trust me, I pretty much look the same as I did during my first week. And remember, it is all part of the process - generally, what will happen on an 'all in' recovery is that you will gain weight, and then without changing your diet, it will slowly go down on its own - it is not permanent. So don't worry, remember it's all in your head.
Third: Talk to people! Communicate! Talk to yourself! Challenge yourself! Disordered eating has mental repercussions as well as physical, so it is really helpful if you are able to talk through your fears and insecurities with someone you trust and start to have a healthier relationship with food. I know it can be hard to admit that you have an eating disorder to someone in your life, but TRUST me, it is such a relief when you do.
I don’t have an eating disorder, but had a relative that did, my cousin. She dropped so much weight she had to be taken to the hospital several times.
If you know some one who has an eating disorder. They are currently feeling this way because they don’t love themselves or don’t feel loved. Love and support them, even if they push away. If you try to change them, they will feel more rejected and fall more into their disorder.
If, you have an eating disorder right now, know that I love you. I don’t know you, but if people can hate for now reason I can love freely as well. You will overcome this and we will be there for you along the way. You are loved and cherished and people in your life do care and will miss you if you are gone. You are perfect just the way you are.
My email is lilacbeauty06@gmail.com if you need a friend to talk to or support in anyway