SFW, please.

#1

Everyone expects stand-up comedy, but all I can do right now is sit-down comedy.

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#2

have you seen the restruant on the moon, i heard it has no atmosphere

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#3

Have you heard about the guy who lost his entire left side in a car accident? He’s all right now.

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#4

I've got a bit about the N word but it tends to get me into trouble. Lots of people don't like it when you call them a nerd.

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#5

For all you football lovers, here's a Euro 2020/21 gag.

Liam Cooper (Scotland) is talking to Harry Kane (England).
HK: Alright Coops, how do you think Scotland are gonna get on in this tournament?
LC: To be honest Kaney, we'll be happy if we don't finish bottom of the group. What about you?
HK: I fully expect us to win the group, sail through the knockout stages without conceding a goal, and lift the trophy on July 11th. Oh! I'll win the Golden Boot as well.
LC: Bit ambitious, don't you think?
HK: You started it.

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#6

two men walked into a bar, the third one ducked(yes, you will expect dad jokes and puns from me.)

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#7

Have y'all been to the new restaurant called karma? I have. It doesn't have a menu, they just give you what you deserve.

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