I (53f) have been in my relationship for 10 years. I pay half of all household bills even though the house we picked out together is not in my name. Nothing is in my name as far as any of the household bills. I also pay for most household necessities. I keep the house clean and prepare most of the meals.

My bf(48m) is always telling me what clothes I can wear or not wear to work, what perfume I can wear or not wear to work, basically micro-manage everything. I love him but I’m over not having any rights to the house and feel like if I leave the relationship then I’m just out all that I have put into the house .. but I really can’t live with all the rules anymore.

I also hesitate to leave because my grandson,3 1/2 loves his "pop pop" so much I would destroy his world (he spends 2 nights a week with us.. ) I have asked him to go to therapy and actually his first appointment is today so he is making an effort to change himself because I have told him I’m leaving if things don’t change as far as his controlling behavior. I have been through A LOT with him but I guess I’m getting less tolerant of his behavior as I age… is this a real relationship or just a roommate with benefits situation?