Hey Pandas, Is There Such A Thing As Deserving To Be Bullied? (Closed)

I'll admit that I can be a sucky person at times. Sometimes, I say things that come off as rude or concerning. I find myself having fits of sudden sadness that cripple me. Perhaps most concerningly, I have issues paying attention. I get flak for this, and it cripples me inside. Do I deserve this?

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No, no one deserves to be bullied. Bullying is the lowest social construct that anyone could lower themselves to. No one deserves to be bullied and no one has the right to be a bully

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In general:

Not bullied, no.
But being criticized, called out, held to account... yes.
Knowing the difference between the two, and when one becomes the other, can be a murky area for a lot of people, as they cannot tell the difference. As the old saying goes, 'To a hammer, everything look like a nail.'

There is a difference between being bullied and catching flak. Catching flak refers to deserved criticism/resistance for one's actions. Bullying refers to undeserved tormenting.

In your instance:
If you are aware that you sometimes come off as rude, and have not worked on correcting that, then I'm sorry to say, you are being rude. And deserve to be called out for it, even if there is a reason for it. As most Panda's with mental health issues, mental disorders, and mental illness will tell you, 'An illness/diagnosis is not an excuse to be rude/an ahole'.
I am an Ahole! By instinct and nature. But, thanks to therapy, I've learnt to think through everything I do twice, before I release it into the wide world. I don't respond in meetings, I tell them I'll get back to them. In conversations, I stall or make jokes before giving answers, buying time to think of a good response. I'll probably read this 5 time before I hit 'publish'. In other words, I found a way to not be rude.

Fits of sadness? Well, from an outside perspective, while it can be a little annoying when there is someone in any given environment/group that is always on a downer; There is no reason or excuse for any comments, remarks, or action. The only exception is if friends/family have exhausted their patience in trying to support you, which, sounds like that's probably not the case here.

Struggle to pay attention. You WILL get flack for that, regardless of the reason. It's incredibly frustrating when you are talking and people are not paying attention to you. I too have trouble paying attention, It took a long time, but I found out why, then worked on it. So now I can tune out the whole world and focus on one thing. Find the source, and *try* to fix it (you might not succeed, but you gotta try).

There are a number of reasons why you could be having the difficulties that you are, and you should seek to resolve them, whether that be that through self soul searching, professional therapy (always the recommended option), or even counselling with friends or loved ones. You've got issues that need to be resolved and you need the right support network.

No one EVER deserves to be be bullied, but sadly there will always be bullies. As my sensei used to say, 'If you cannot beat them, make it difficult for them'.

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