Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Who doesn't love pets? That furry friend that greets you at the door and the one you can cuddle with late at night. Almost everyone has one and who can blame them? Who doesn't want someone to love them unconditionally?
But have you ever wondered what would happen if your pet talked, I sure have?
So pandas if your pet could talk, what would it say?
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
At this very moment, my cat with whom I am sharing my chair would say: "Move, hooman, this is my spot."
Final score:
16points
#3
My dog would say "Hooman stop talking in a baby voice and get meh food."
Final score:
14points
#4
My rabbit princess would say: "Every living creature on earth shall obey me! I'm the almighty overlord! Commit yourselves to me worthless living being"! And my dog would say: "MEAT!"
Final score:
14points
#5
My dog would say two things, "Gimme food," or, "Come play with me."
Final score:
12points
#6
"Where's my food?" -My black cat. "I feel like biting my brother today." -My torbie.
Final score:
12points
#7
My 2 cats would be saying "FEED ME AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!"
Final score:
11points
#8
Parakeet 1 : Hey, stop touching me !
Parakeet 2: Im not touching you, your touching me !
Parakeet 3 : SHUT UP !
* I come downstairs
Cockatiel: Oh good , the parakeets are on the verger of killing each other.
Final score:
10points
#9
My youngest cat would probably tell me to feed him, and my oldest would scream at people to leave him alone (he’s very independent and hates cuddles)
Final score:
9points
#10
"why the hekk you wake me up at 3 am making the weird sound, awwwwwww all the time??!??!"
Final score:
8points
#12
My cat would probably ask for even more food than he already does...
Final score:
7points
#13
Cat 1 (my husbands cat): Your Mother is never coming home, ever again. Despair.
Cat 2 (my cat): Lies! Mother loves me! She will return!
Me coming back from the mail box: Hey Dumb Dumbs, miss me?
Cat 2 (Meeting me at the landing and escorting me up the stairs): Mommy! I love you! I knew you'd return! Love me! Love me!
Cat 1(draped across the back of the couch, has not moved for hours, flips me off by minutely flicking his tail): No, go away and take the loud one with you.
Final score:
5points
#14
Why you keep waking me up at 2am?! Its so hard not to pet her she is a kitten and looks so adorable when she sleeps.
Final score:
4points
#16
Dad walks into room: Oh yes, servant 3!
He gets a drink and leaves: Fine, back to servants 1 and 2 ( me and brother)
Mom walks in: OH YES ALPHA I HAVE SPOTTED FRESH SQUIRREL TO BARK AT
Mom leaves: SERVANTS I COMMAND YOU TO BRING ME UP OF THE STAIRS
( He isn't allowed upstairs)
This is what I imagine him as
Final score:
3points
#17
I've taught my 3-year granddaughter that one of our three pitbulls, Lucy, says "Oh Dear God" whenever she is there.
Final score:
3points
#19
Gizmo (my young horse): I am the Boss. The only Boss. This is why I need food
Cartmen (my retired horse) : I am not boss. Just sweet and happy. And needing food...... like now
Gizmo: NO! All food is for me! 'Cause I am boss! and fast! and smart!
Cartmen : *nom nom*
Gizmo: 0-0
Cartmen: *nom nom nom nom*
Gizmo: *nom nom nom nom nom*
Both horses: *nom nom nom nom*................thanx mom
Final score:
3points
#20
probably "HEY, HUMAN!!! GIVE PETS SO I CAN BITE YOU!!!!!!!! or just give food and toy, anything works..
(he's a dog)
Final score:
2points
#21
"Food? No food?" *expectant sitting position*
"MY DUCK DUCK-"
"Play with me!" *let the zoomies commence*
"Move over, this my spot. Hmph."
"IWANTWALKWALKWALKWALKWALKWALK!!!"
"I hate you." *sits on lap*
"No nose boops!"
Final score:
2points
#22
Food food food, can u pet me, aaah no pet, u scary, i want food now, can i eat this, food? Can i bite finger? Food food
Final score:
2points
#23
Kitty: Why are you typing on my sleeping board.
Dog: Throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball. Nooooo, no touchy. Throw the ball throw the ball...........
Final score:
2points
#24
"Girl if you don't stop hugging me so tight my head's gonna pop."
Final score:
2points
#26
F*****g feed me you insignificant pile of feculent bolts, this is animal abuse to not feed your pets. My cat Crowley to the automatic feeder.
Final score:
1point
#27
He would just scream, all the time, everyday. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Final score:
1point
#28
"give me butt scratches hooman. now that i can talk i have all the power over yoo."
Final score:
1point
#29
I think my kitten blue would say:
"move peasants, this is my kingdom, I am the god of snuggles and murder, bow down to me"
Final score:
1point
#30
My pet would say, "I want to go to the backyard and them come back either 1 second later or 6 hours later!"
Final score:
1point
#31
Walter Cat: “No hooman. You cannot go to toilet. Not finished nap.”
All 7 of them: “Would you eat this crap you give us?”
Final score:
1point
#32
My cat: give me the food you stupid hooman
My dog: give me love and I will give you more
My chickens: foodfoodfooddrinkfoodfood
Final score:
1point
#33
“You’re not doing it right!” (Petting, playing, feeding, whatever).
Final score:
1point
#34
My family’s dog who almost certainly has separation anxiety:
“WHERES MUM? WHERES MUM? WHERE THE HECK IS MUM???”
Final score:
1point
#36
My dog: Give. me. The. Ball. NOW! Throw the ball throw that ball how shoot you threw the ball
My kitten: Am lionz mumma looks I go rawr
And finally my bird who acts like Gordon Ramsey
Bird: Awe you stupid peasant I said fine ground bird seed not this rubbish mess
Final score:
1point
#37
My bird would say 2 things: "HOOMAN SHUT THE F&*$ UP!"
and "Hooman, pleese clean meh bird seed shells."
Final score:
1point
#38
Our old lovebug Fibbo: "why you no lemme snug? stahp pushin me! >:c i shall lyk face to get you to lemme snug. aw you happy now :D snug time"
Our little rascal Sassy: "ima be as loud as possible running around upstairs so you hear a stampede of buffalo as you try to watch BattleBots >:D"
Our dog Franklin: "take me on run! gimme food! take me on walk? cuddles pls. thamk."
The lizard: "i didn't eat my celery again eheheheheheheheheheh"
Final score:
1point
#39
my cat would say, GET YOUR A*S OFF MY FU*KING SEAT YOU BI*H
Final score:
0points
#40
Old gurl: PET MY BUTT
Bubbersh: BELLY RUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSS
Final score:
0points
#41
my doggo would say "feed me more you peasants" or "gosh i hate this worls so much"
Final score:
0points
#43
hey bro. imma tell all your secrets if you dont constantly feed me. and probably a lot of cussin from hearing it from me when i hurt myself
Final score:
0points
#46
So, I put a fat face filter on my elderly rescue dog. The way she stares at me just screams, “Oh god will you please stop”
Final score:
0points
#47
they would say something like "come onnnn lets go play come on come on come i want to playyyy play with usssss" or "we want food give us food we want it now"
Final score:
0points
#48
“you fed me an hour ago and there’s still food in my bowl but i need more.”
Final score:
0points
#49
He'd probably ask, "Where's all my food?" while staring directly at it.
Final score:
0points
#50
My dane would say "hooman pet me and play with me and feed me and give me loves all the time" and my poodle would say "pet me. feed me. play with me. snuggle me. all i ask." I imagine my dane has a really high pitched voice and then my poodle sounds like a happy version of eeyore with a slightly higher voice.
Final score:
0points
#51
well, this is my cat that ran out of the garage when we were moving but... "hey hooman gimme snuggles, chubbiesness, food, and let my fluffy self fart every 2 minutes!! also imma poke da dog."
Final score:
0points
#53
my cat would say this is my house not yours. you are my servant. my dog would say get that cardboard away from me!(he afraid of cardboard)
Final score:
0points
#55
I wish he would tell me why he keeps digging out of the yard.
Final score:
0points
#56
I'm hungry even though I just ate literally 3 minutes ago
Final score:
0points
#57
My hamster: whyyyyyy did you wake me uppppppp?
Me: it’s noon
My hamster: then feeeed meeeee!
Me: only if you let me pet you
Hamster: fiiiiiiiiine but not my face!
Final score:
0points
#58
“Guuuurl are you really gonna make me have me stay inside for a whole ten minutes?” My dog pepper would probably say
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
BonnieBlueButler 3 years ago
I have four cats: one adores me, one ignores me, one hates me and one is just hanging around for the food.
BonnieBlueButler 3 years ago
I have four cats: one adores me, one ignores me, one hates me and one is just hanging around for the food.
Related on Bored Panda
