Hey Pandas, If Your Pet Could Talk, What Would It Say? (Closed)

Who doesn't love pets? That furry friend that greets you at the door and the one you can cuddle with late at night. Almost everyone has one and who can blame them? Who doesn't want someone to love them unconditionally?

But have you ever wondered what would happen if your pet talked, I sure have?

So pandas if your pet could talk, what would it say?

This post may include affiliate links.

At this very moment, my cat with whom I am sharing my chair would say: "Move, hooman, this is my spot."

Report

Final score:

16points

Violeta Draseikaitė

POST

JennyBee 3 years ago

Hehe I would say it too

4points

"NO BOOP" >:(

Report

Final score:

15points

Nia

POST

Mintchinchilla 3 years ago

*boop*

8points

View More Replies...

View more comments

My dog would say "Hooman stop talking in a baby voice and get meh food."

Report

Final score:

14points

𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖

POST

The weird one! 3 years ago

true

3points

My rabbit princess would say: "Every living creature on earth shall obey me! I'm the almighty overlord! Commit yourselves to me worthless living being"! And my dog would say: "MEAT!"

Report

Final score:

14points

cassiushumanmother

POST

cassiushumanmother (Submission author) 3 years ago

"take me to the Mordor silly fluffy mount! I have to get that ring before it's too late!" 20181217_2...c37aed.jpg

8points

View More Replies...

View more comments

My dog would say two things, "Gimme food," or, "Come play with me."

Report

Final score:

12points

User

POST

"Where's my food?" -My black cat. "I feel like biting my brother today." -My torbie.

Report

Final score:

12points

2763MilesAway

POST

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

View More Replies...

View more comments

My 2 cats would be saying "FEED ME AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!"

Report

Final score:

11points

Billy The Kid

POST

Parakeet 1 : Hey, stop touching me !
Parakeet 2: Im not touching you, your touching me !
Parakeet 3 : SHUT UP !
* I come downstairs
Cockatiel: Oh good , the parakeets are on the verger of killing each other.

Report

Final score:

10points

Nobody

POST

JennyBee 3 years ago

yup sounds bout right

2points

My youngest cat would probably tell me to feed him, and my oldest would scream at people to leave him alone (he’s very independent and hates cuddles)

Report

Final score:

9points

Mimi

POST

#10

"why the hekk you wake me up at 3 am making the weird sound, awwwwwww all the time??!??!"

Report

Final score:

8points

Mintchinchilla

POST

Mintchinchilla (Submission author) 3 years ago

hes a chinchilla :D

3points

#11

gib food nao

Report

Final score:

7points

Titas Burinskas

POST

#12

My cat would probably ask for even more food than he already does...

Report

Final score:

7points

Diana Lopetaitė

POST

#13

Cat 1 (my husbands cat): Your Mother is never coming home, ever again. Despair.
Cat 2 (my cat): Lies! Mother loves me! She will return!
Me coming back from the mail box: Hey Dumb Dumbs, miss me?
Cat 2 (Meeting me at the landing and escorting me up the stairs): Mommy! I love you! I knew you'd return! Love me! Love me!
Cat 1(draped across the back of the couch, has not moved for hours, flips me off by minutely flicking his tail): No, go away and take the loud one with you.

Report

Final score:

5points

Stacey Montebello

POST

#14

Why you keep waking me up at 2am?! Its so hard not to pet her she is a kitten and looks so adorable when she sleeps.

Report

Final score:

4points

byebye

POST

#15

Where are my testicles?

Report

Final score:

4points

Sloopi

POST

LC Greenwood 3 years ago

Hahaha!! winning the internet

1point

#16

Dad walks into room: Oh yes, servant 3!
He gets a drink and leaves: Fine, back to servants 1 and 2 ( me and brother)
Mom walks in: OH YES ALPHA I HAVE SPOTTED FRESH SQUIRREL TO BARK AT
Mom leaves: SERVANTS I COMMAND YOU TO BRING ME UP OF THE STAIRS
( He isn't allowed upstairs)
This is what I imagine him as

Report

Final score:

3points

Kirbi

POST

#17

I've taught my 3-year granddaughter that one of our three pitbulls, Lucy, says "Oh Dear God" whenever she is there.

Report

Final score:

3points

Gia SDP

POST

#18

if i had a pet it would say "I WUV U"

Report

Final score:

3points

bon bon purple boi

POST

#19

Gizmo (my young horse): I am the Boss. The only Boss. This is why I need food

Cartmen (my retired horse) : I am not boss. Just sweet and happy. And needing food...... like now

Gizmo: NO! All food is for me! 'Cause I am boss! and fast! and smart!

Cartmen : *nom nom*

Gizmo: 0-0

Cartmen: *nom nom nom nom*

Gizmo: *nom nom nom nom nom*

Both horses: *nom nom nom nom*................thanx mom

Report

Final score:

3points

-Annelise-

POST

Kirbi (hehe get it) 3 years ago

Those are adorable names!

1point

View More Replies...

View more comments

#20

probably "HEY, HUMAN!!! GIVE PETS SO I CAN BITE YOU!!!!!!!! or just give food and toy, anything works..

(he's a dog)

Report

Final score:

2points

pro introvert

POST

purple boi 3 years ago

wow

2points

View more comments

#21

"Food? No food?" *expectant sitting position*
"MY DUCK DUCK-"
"Play with me!" *let the zoomies commence*
"Move over, this my spot. Hmph."
"IWANTWALKWALKWALKWALKWALKWALK!!!"
"I hate you." *sits on lap*
"No nose boops!"

Report

Final score:

2points

Madison Lam

POST

#22

Food food food, can u pet me, aaah no pet, u scary, i want food now, can i eat this, food? Can i bite finger? Food food

Report

Final score:

2points

Tunder

POST

#23

Kitty: Why are you typing on my sleeping board.
Dog: Throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball. Nooooo, no touchy. Throw the ball throw the ball...........

Report

Final score:

2points

Helen Haley

POST

#24

"Girl if you don't stop hugging me so tight my head's gonna pop."

Report

Final score:

2points

RedPanda

POST

sxnshine-- 3 years ago

Aww, same though lol

3points

#25

“Why the hell are you grabbing my face like that?”

Report

Final score:

2points

Ian Bartels

POST

#26

F*****g feed me you insignificant pile of feculent bolts, this is animal abuse to not feed your pets. My cat Crowley to the automatic feeder.

Report

Final score:

1point

SCP-096

POST

#27

He would just scream, all the time, everyday. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Report

Final score:

1point

Eli_Electrify

POST

#28

"give me butt scratches hooman. now that i can talk i have all the power over yoo."

Report

Final score:

1point

Maya Jones

POST

#29

I think my kitten blue would say:

"move peasants, this is my kingdom, I am the god of snuggles and murder, bow down to me"

Report

Final score:

1point

Galactic wolf Of the nebula

POST

Galactic wolf Of the nebula (Submission author) 3 years ago

one:he is very territorial, 2: he like to get pets but soon likes to scratch us

2points

View more comments

#30

My pet would say, "I want to go to the backyard and them come back either 1 second later or 6 hours later!"

Report

Final score:

1point

Ariana Grande Artist

POST

#31

Walter Cat: “No hooman. You cannot go to toilet. Not finished nap.”

All 7 of them: “Would you eat this crap you give us?”

Report

Final score:

1point

Jods

POST

#32

My cat: give me the food you stupid hooman
My dog: give me love and I will give you more
My chickens: foodfoodfooddrinkfoodfood

Report

Final score:

1point

Firefly1617

POST

#33

“You’re not doing it right!” (Petting, playing, feeding, whatever).

Report

Final score:

1point

Valerie Heath-Harrison

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#34

My family’s dog who almost certainly has separation anxiety:
“WHERES MUM? WHERES MUM? WHERE THE HECK IS MUM???”

Report

Final score:

1point

haha laser go brrr

POST

#35

Why amb I living with you ?

Report

Final score:

1point

Anton Kider

POST

#36

My dog: Give. me. The. Ball. NOW! Throw the ball throw that ball how shoot you threw the ball
My kitten: Am lionz mumma looks I go rawr
And finally my bird who acts like Gordon Ramsey
Bird: Awe you stupid peasant I said fine ground bird seed not this rubbish mess

Report

Final score:

1point

Alpha Wolf

POST

Sheepeggs 3 years ago

*Gasp!* A Gordon Ramsey bird!!!

1point

View more comments

#37

My bird would say 2 things: "HOOMAN SHUT THE F&*$ UP!"
and "Hooman, pleese clean meh bird seed shells."

Report

Final score:

1point

SunnflowerNight

POST

#38

Our old lovebug Fibbo: "why you no lemme snug? stahp pushin me! >:c i shall lyk face to get you to lemme snug. aw you happy now :D snug time"
Our little rascal Sassy: "ima be as loud as possible running around upstairs so you hear a stampede of buffalo as you try to watch BattleBots >:D"
Our dog Franklin: "take me on run! gimme food! take me on walk? cuddles pls. thamk."
The lizard: "i didn't eat my celery again eheheheheheheheheheh"

Report

Final score:

1point

Soleil Saltzman-Herbert

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#39

my cat would say, GET YOUR A*S OFF MY FU*KING SEAT YOU BI*H

Report

Final score:

0points

Tucker Mcinturff

POST

Sheepeggs 3 years ago

What a profane cat 😺

0points

#40

Old gurl: PET MY BUTT
Bubbersh: BELLY RUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSS

Report

Final score:

0points

Glory The Rainwing

POST

Glory The Rainwing (Submission author) 3 years ago

My cat: FEEEEEEEEEEED MMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! In a deep voice lol

2points

#41

my doggo would say "feed me more you peasants" or "gosh i hate this worls so much"

Report

Final score:

0points

轟焦凍

POST

#42

My dog would say 'give me food and belly rubs now!"

Report

Final score:

0points

The weird one!

POST

#43

hey bro. imma tell all your secrets if you dont constantly feed me. and probably a lot of cussin from hearing it from me when i hurt myself

Report

Final score:

0points

Caleb Lumpkin

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#44

Snacks, more snacks, just all the snacks.

Report

Final score:

0points

Mrs M

POST

#45

F**KING PAT ME

Report

Final score:

0points

ravager

POST

Potato goat 3 years ago

This made me snort

0points

#46

So, I put a fat face filter on my elderly rescue dog. The way she stares at me just screams, “Oh god will you please stop”

Report

Final score:

0points

VANILLA

POST

#47

they would say something like "come onnnn lets go play come on come on come i want to playyyy play with usssss" or "we want food give us food we want it now"

Report

Final score:

0points

tsu

POST

#48

“you fed me an hour ago and there’s still food in my bowl but i need more.”

Report

Final score:

0points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#49

He'd probably ask, "Where's all my food?" while staring directly at it.

Report

Final score:

0points

HumbuggeryDevil

POST

#50

My dane would say "hooman pet me and play with me and feed me and give me loves all the time" and my poodle would say "pet me. feed me. play with me. snuggle me. all i ask." I imagine my dane has a really high pitched voice and then my poodle sounds like a happy version of eeyore with a slightly higher voice.

Report

Final score:

0points

Lorelai Purvis

POST

#51

well, this is my cat that ran out of the garage when we were moving but... "hey hooman gimme snuggles, chubbiesness, food, and let my fluffy self fart every 2 minutes!! also imma poke da dog."

Report

Final score:

0points

mushroom frog

POST

#52

giv meh food hooman!

Report

Final score:

0points

byebye

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#53

my cat would say this is my house not yours. you are my servant. my dog would say get that cardboard away from me!(he afraid of cardboard)

Report

Final score:

0points

𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓪 𝓴𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻

POST

#54

*my tarantula* why does it rain only in my dirt holder?

Report

Final score:

0points

Sheepeggs

POST

#55

I wish he would tell me why he keeps digging out of the yard.

Report

Final score:

0points

deletemyaccount

POST

#56

I'm hungry even though I just ate literally 3 minutes ago

Report

Final score:

0points

Emily Hamlin

POST

#57

My hamster: whyyyyyy did you wake me uppppppp?
Me: it’s noon
My hamster: then feeeed meeeee!
Me: only if you let me pet you
Hamster: fiiiiiiiiine but not my face!

Report

Final score:

0points