Hey Pandas, How Would You Tell Homophobic Parents You Are LGBTQ+? (Closed)

I think I'm bi, but my parents are homophobes and wouldn't be happy. I'm scared to tell anyone. The only one who knows is my best friend who told me she's bi, so I told her I think I am too. But I know no one in my family will treat me the same if I do. Like, a lot of relatives of mine are homophobic. I'm scared of how they would react, like when I said I wanted to be a vegetarian (which lasted 2 days... I completely forgot about bacon). They didn't approve at all. They kinda made fun of me... Sorry for asking, it's just that I don't know what to do.

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I’d tell them I’m Bi and if they don’t approve, I’d walk out and live with my bestie

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5points

Yakisoba

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Trinity. 3 years ago

I wish i could.

2points

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i did what i call the hit and run i droped it in a random conversation and hid in my room because i hated questioning

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4points

angie but who cares

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Jem24 3 years ago

I do that

1point

Wait until i have somewhere to stay,then use a joke they might not get

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Raccoon

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I would make sure I had a backup place to stay and was safe then I would start making subtle jokes until someone caught on

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Kas Hanson

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I'm not sure it's the best course of action, but I'd bide my time, build my life a little bit, in case I get thrown out of the house. You know, be a little more independent of their reaction. Wouldn't want to end up on the streets if I knew that my parents could react very negatively.
Try to be open to those friends that you can trust, preferably those that aren't in any way connected to your family, so the rumor won't spread in case things go south. You need someone to open up about it and explore who you are, but make sure you pick the right people to do that.

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Titas Burinskas

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This sounds really cheesy but it is supposed to have a mental effect on the person making them react more rationally but you need to use these exact words: "I love you and you're important to me. I wanted to let you know I'm *insert sexuality*. I've been this way my whole life ever since I was young and started having feelings for other people I wanted to let you know this because I love you and you're very important to me." When you say this speak with confidence practice with a friend who already knows. WARNING: IF YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS COULD PUT YOU IN DANGER YOU DO NOT HAVE TO COME OUT YOUR SAFETY COMES FIRST!

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Deceased Nemo

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Serenity Kinney 3 years ago

ya!

2points

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It’s probably best to wait till you move out and are old enough to do adult things without your parents help. If you absolutely must tell them, maybe text them so they have a chance to think about what they say before they say it. It may be best to tell friends first. Maybe a day or 2 prior to coming out you can have a conversation with friends and family about lgbtq, ask them what their thoughts are. If they answer negatively, don’t tell them and move on with life. If they are ok with the topic, your probably safe.

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GaeFrog

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I think the best course of action is to wait till you are financially stable enough to move out and live on your own, and know you won’t have to depend on your parents anymore for money or housing. It might be rough, but ultimately, if you think it will get you kicked out or disowned, just wait as long as possible before talking to them. You might not have the best family, but if they aren’t abusing you, just put up with it until you can leave. Then it won’t matter as much.

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Hello

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Hello (Submission author) 3 years ago

If it could put you in danger, don’t break it to them.

3points

Yes, I would! I know my parents support the LGBTQ+ community, so I would. I'm actually heterosexual, but if I was lesbian, gay, etc. I would tell my parents.

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Ariana Grande Artist

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depressePANcake 3 years ago

Why do the straight people get the non-homophobe parents?

1point

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#10

Nothing but good advice on here! Your priority needs to be yourself. Make sure you have somewhere to go if things turn ugly. Remember that this will be big news to them, they may need some time to process it. There is a video covering Deceased Nemo's post or something similar, and might actually be somewhere here on BP, It's really good!

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Donkey boi

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Shibi Inu 3 years ago

You knnow that is not good right

-2points

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#11

wait till you are,im not kidding,walking out the door to go to your new house,and just go,by the way im lgbtq+.then run to your car drive home if they text you anser in anyway, if they are mad or what to disown you, they cant cuz you are in your own house now, if you think they will come over and do something to hurt you call 911.(dont live to close to them, to let 911 get there)

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Serenity Kinney

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#12

You said you "think" you're bi. Which makes me think you have some more time and soul searching to do. And that's fine. Take that time. NO ONE is entitled to know your sexuality. It's a choice to involve them. Your choice. If you're not ready, not sure etc.. just wait. When you are sure and it's time, you will know for sure. Then worry about if/how you want to tell people.
If you think they will make fun of you, I want you to be strong enough not to give them any power over who you are, and make you feel bad about it.
Sometimes giving something time gives some clarity and strength. Keep growing, love yourself, accept yourself, when its time then decide who gets to know intimate things about you.

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