Join the Fun!

Final score:

9points

wade winston wilson

POST

Bi Kirby 3 years ago

Good good. Just make sure the spirits don't shove you into a springbonnie! ;)

4points

I bet the FBI is really looking at this thread.

Final score:

7points

Andres Tejeda

POST

Afton 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

10points

Get the body and put it in a hole and plant some protected flowers over it.

Final score:

7points

‍

POST

Bring it out into a rural area with a large wild hog population, preferably not long after sunset.
It will be completely gone in about half an hour.

Final score:

7points

Jaguarundi

POST

Savannah Mcquillan 3 years ago

Then you shoot the hogs and have bbq

1point

...You could dump it in a sewer or something, they wouldn't look down there

the aftermath is secondary™

Final score:

6points

POST

Afton 3 years ago

Yeah! And the smell of the sewer would cover up the smell of the rotting corpse!

11points

To be honest...I'd just burn it and bury the ash.

Final score:

6points

Ariana Grande Artist

POST

Afton 3 years ago

Ok, i'm intrested

7points

cut the body up in to hundreds of little cubes and spread them everywhere

Final score:

6points

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

POST

ThatOneCrazyFanGirl 3 years ago

AND THEN YOU COOK THE LITTLE CUBES AND MAKE BARBEQUE!!!

5points

1. hide it in a box at your house in a closet
2. tell the police anonymously "I saw someone digging in the woods"
3. wait for the police to finish investigating and turn up with nothing
4. go to the woods and bury your body. they won't find it cause they already looked there

don't ask how I know this

ramenoodle says "WEAR A MASK!"

Final score:

5points

POST

Afton 3 years ago

Ok.

4points

I-I am kinda worried why you are wondering this BUT anyway I'll give you ALL my ideas.
1. A cemetery
2. burn 'em, give the bones to a dog to chew on, and bury the ashes in sand
3. pig pen (they eat everything, yes, including bones)
4. dig 12 feet down NOT 6, but 12. Put the body in the hole and bury it then put a dead animal and bury that. SO when they dig it up it'll just be an animal and they dont see it bc the body will be 12 feet down not 6 ;).

there yall go. There all my ideas. Right now as im typing this Grammarly thinks my content sounds Confident, disapproving, and informative.. What do yall think??

Final score:

4points

Your.New.Husband

POST

Afton 3 years ago

Excellent

3points

#10

Tell someone else to do it

jessica's chemistry teacher

Final score:

3points

POST

Afton 3 years ago

They might call the cops tho

6points

#11

The local police provide free body disposal services for you. They even provide on scene pick up! One call does it all!

Final score:

3points

Elvee K

POST

Afton 3 years ago

2points

#12

Body Disposal 101:
By Prowl

Remove the head and fingers, which makes it harder to ID. "Lose" the head in a body of water, and bury the fingers somewhere moist with lots of insects.

Dismember the body, and soak it in bleach, to make it harder to find fingerprints and dna.

Scatter the parts, and cover the body in blood from a butcher's shop. It's harder to match DNA when it has multiple sources. Moreso, it takes a while for them to realize it's not from the body, which gives you time to get out of town.

Preparation:

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!
Think ahead about exactly where you are going to dispose of the parts. Profilers look at the disposal sites, and know that the killer is probably familiar with the area, and probably near the center of the disposal sites. So, dispose of the parts, and make sure that they do NOT center around where you live.

Make sure the vic also lives in the area you are going to leave them, or the feds might figure out that you're not there.

Before you kill your target, figure out their routine. When do you have the best opportunity to kill them? When will you have the best chance of taking their body away for disposal without being seen? Where will you actually do the dismembering?

How to avoid getting your materials flagged:

Vics VapoRub apparently helps mask the smell, so I recommend getting some. Preferably a long, long time before committing the crime.

Get your bleach in normal amounts, with some delay in between each purchase, and stockpile it until you have everything else lined up.

Wear mechanics gloves, or two sets of the blue ones. Fingerprints can apparently be left through the blue ones, as theyre thin, and stick. I recommend wearing a disposable poncho, so as to avoid blood spatter.

Have a reason to be out of the city a long time beforehand. Make sure everyone knows. So if someone asks why Prowl is gone, they can say, 'Oh, she is on vacation. She's been planning it for a while.'

Do not bring your phone or any form of tech to the body disposal sites. "Hmm. Prowl was away from where she frequents, and parts of a body were found at several of those places where she lingered. Kinda sus, hmmm?"

Figure out how you are going to kill your target. Plan it out beforehand.

The name of the game is: PREPARATION!

Now, go forth and don't get caught, my pandas.

Ps. It's okay if you put your own flair on it, or take trophies. But, I recommend hiding those even better than the bodies, because it WILL tie you to the crime.

Final score:

3points

N’Baro Atksteel X377

POST

wade winston wilson 3 years ago

i hope somone here is a undercover cop also somone shoud calll the cops either way also i said somthing from a literlal videio game so im cleared right

3points

#13

tie something heavy like rocks or something to the legs, arms or ankles and wrists. Than throw them into the water. They should stay under if you tied it correctly

Final score:

2points

byebye

POST

Afton 3 years ago

I can't tie anything.

7points

#14

Cut it up into small pieces and hide it across my neighbor’s property over the course of a like a week or so.

Final score:

2points

GaeFrog

POST

Afton 3 years ago

4points

#15

Just eat the freaking body. I mean you did have the guts to actually kill someone

Final score:

2points

Assassin Seven

POST

Afton 3 years ago

Hey! I understand killing a kid, but eating one!? That's horrible! It's inhumane!

6points

#16

Wear gloves while disposing the body. My guess is to cut the body up into pieces and flush it down the toilet, one piece at a time before anyone suspects anything. You don't want your fingerprints on the meat tho, so ig wash the knife really good. Poison anybody who is suspicious of you also.

Final score:

2points

Kirbi

POST

Afton 3 years ago

2points

#17

why the heck are you asking...??

Final score:

2points

Mintchinchilla

POST

Afton 3 years ago

I kinda have a problem...

2points

#18

Put in a cemetery because looks there. Also if for some reason someone digs up the body, it would seem normal

Final score:

2points

PineappleQueen

POST

#19

I would chop off the head
then take out the insides
then run over the skin sack with a bulldozer
then fold it up and shoot it into space

Final score:

2points

Jayme Lowit

POST

jocelyn annette harris 3 years ago

thats a good idea but where would you get a giant slingshot

1point

#20

Do what Hannibal Lecter did and feed the best bits to your guests at a dinner party. You can even boil the bones into a broth. I guess you can stick the inedible bits in the bin just before the bin- men arrive or give them to strays.

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Final score:

2points

Doggo Froggo

POST

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#21

give them tea with poison ivy in it it will slowly make the persons organs fail

and there will be no evidence

Final score:

2points

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

POST

N’Baro Atksteel X377 3 years ago (edited)

Really?! *Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.*

0points

#22

How to get rid of a body
by : galaxy wolf
1)put the body in a bag
2) Get a taxi
3)take a picture of the license plate
4)tell them to take you to a random location
5) leave the bag in the taxi
5 1/2) if they ask, tell them the bag has cash but its heavy so you should probably put it in your trunk
6) when they leave, call 911
7) tell them the license plate so the police will follow the car
8) RUN FOR DEAR GOD LIFE

Galactic wolf Of the nebula

Final score:

2points

POST

#23

Easy. I'm a pro.
1. You take a potato peeler and peel all of the skin off. Once you get that far you take the main bones/ meat, boil them, separate the other bones that are harder to get off the body such as the head, hands and feet, put those in a small water bottle after they've been chopped off and chunk it into the ocean with the cap off. This will attract sharks who will eat it. With the organs and small bones and skin and such you make a sausage. Serve that at the neighborhood crawfish boil. Take all leftover blood and livers and things you cannot eat or process and you make popsicles or candy or something sweet and send your friends out in nondescript white vans to get arrested instead of you.
2. Send your senior grandparents with dementia through airport security with the frozen (now defrosting and leaking) body chopped into cubes in their suitcase.
3. Put them in the septic tank of a few abandoned buildings
3. Get some 55 gallon steel drums, put the body chunks in the drums and after simmering for a while put caustic soda in the thing after about 24 hours go out in the desert or forest and pour the liquid out.
4. Wood chip it all. Put it in a backpack and go backpacking. At some run down public bathroom, go in and make straining noises and flush all of the chipped body down the toilet. Including the duffel bag
5. Make biodegradable golf balls with body inside and go on holiday and get rid of it that way
6. Last one! Wrap it in chain link fencing or chicken wire and seal all of the exits for material. Go way out to a shipwreck in the deep ocean and drop it. The wire should let the small fish and crabs in to eat but make it harder for sharks and things people kill and check out the stomachs of to find it

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Final score:

2points

Savannah Mcquillan

POST

Savannah Mcquillan (Submission author) 3 years ago

I gotchu Afton. No. I'm totally sane. Also forgot abt the wild hogs. Go to a secluded area and shoot the hog. Then stuff it's organs with the body. It should be the consistency of pulled pork. Yeet the hog out where you shot it

2points

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#24

WAIT YOU NEED TIPS?

Final score:

1point

welly1738

POST

romeo2484 (Submission author) 3 years ago

II know it's a joke

1point

#25

Lay it in plain sight on a mountain and put someone else's fingerprints on it. I saw it in a movie.

Final score:

1point

Xylle Flora

POST

#26

1. Burn it
2. Bury it... REAAALLY deep
3. Toss them into a lake with weights tied to them.
4. HIDE THE BODYY UNDERNEATH ANOTHER BODY... (Double decker coffin with a secret compartment.)

Final score:

1point

CATMONSTER2018

POST

#27

1. Learn to sew
2. Advertise that you can fix stuffed animals for a very cheap price
3. When you fix stuffed animals put a tiny cube of the body inside

Final score:

1point

Deceased Nemo

POST

Deceased Nemo (Submission author) 3 years ago

I forgot that you can also put Vapo Rub on the piece to mask the smell

2points

#28

Here is a kill that you'll get away with, Mr. Afton. Get an icicle and stab someone multiple times in their chest. When the police arrive, they won't find any murder weapons because the icicle melted.

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Final score:

1point

BingoMark

POST

jocelyn annette harris 3 years ago

perfect

1point

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#29

Step 1: Afton, i worry about you
Step 2 : burry it and plant endangered plants over it so its illegal to dig up

Final score:

1point

POST

#30

If you burn it, don’t burn it in your own oven
Put it in a skip, but make sure it’s buried
If you can, this would be hard, make sure it gets into a bin lorry. But make it look like your neighbors or a stranger disposed of it
Why do you want to know?..

Final score:

1point

elloelloello

POST

#31

I saw this answer before somewhere on Quora so that’s where I got this o-O

Dig a deep hole, put the body in, cover halfway with dirt, then put a dead animal body on top of that (one that wouldn’t be sus, such as a common largish house pet) and continue to fill the hole with dirt.

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Final score:

0points

BookCrazyTeen

POST

Afton 3 years ago

0points

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#32

Divorce.

Final score:

0points

Kyle

POST

ThatOneCrazyFanGirl 3 years ago

what

2points

#33

The majority of disposal techniques are location dependent, but one you should be able to do in almost any town or city is: 9 Litres of petrol and a Biffa bin (Dumpster in the US). The only thing that will be left is a bit of ash and any medical implants ("Loose" any implants in a body of water).

Final score:

0points

Donkey boi

POST

#34

Chop it up into little pieces, stuff it into a large sack and yeet it in the ocean.

Final score:

0points

GalaxyGriffin

POST

#35

1. Put it in a trash bag and fill it up with random garbage so it would be like normal garbage in it.
2. Wait for it to be garbage night.
3. Put it in someone else's garbage so they might get framed for disposing a body. If this doesn't work then...
4. Take the body and repeat Step 1 and Step 2.
5. When they arrive, ask to throw it in yourself.
6. If they say no, give it to them because you followed Step 1.
There you go.

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Final score:

0points

BingoMark

POST

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#36

Per a TV program that seemed reasonable (?), I would feed the body to the pigs. Not having any pigs at the moment, I would bury the body in an abandoned mine shaft. Better yet, I would not kill anyone.