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So Im [F] a highschooler who pretends to be cool for the sake of it.
I have a small friendgroup of 5 [F] including me, and a larger friendgroup of about 20 [F], and all of them are daredevils
They make me feel less lonely but also make me feel like crap about myself. It really sucks. Also they always make me do scary stuff like jumping off a school building because apparently “It proves my dedication to the group”.
I hate it. I really do. But when I left them the first time, I had depression for a month. I felt empty. I hated myself. I even got thoughts of killing myself because I had no one at school to talk to.
When I asked to be their friend again, they welcomed me with “Open arms” and kind of showed some care for me.
But Im different. I wear a hijab. Im a Muslim. I have different beliefs that they call “weird”. I dont wear oversized hoodies with shorts underneath, nor can I relate to them straightening their hair to look good.
But I want to be friends with them so bad. Its gotten to the point where when my mum (bless her) went with me shopping for shoes, I wanted COMPLETE white ones to match with my friends. And even then they didnt accept me.
I want to drop them so bad. I really do. But I can’t. Im scared of lonliness.
Another thing that pisses me off is that they treat me like absolute crap but when its subject related or school related (e.g. Coding or Math) they’re always so nice because they want me to do their work for them. And I, being stupid, believe them and let them cheat off my practise math test
I hate it so much. I can’t do this anymore. But Im scared. Scared that they will leak the name of the person that I like or go tell him, scared that they will leak my secrets, scared that they’re going to blackmail me. But the worst think Im scared of is lonliness and depression.
Im muslim, as stated before in the post, so I have faith that Allah will guide me to the correct choice. But I need guidance from you too.
So, Pandas, how and when should I drop my toxic friends?
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What do you think ?
Estelle E. 7 months ago
Info, how long before your last year graduation? The answer might be different if it's a matter of two months or two years
Bill Cipher 6 months ago
As a Muslim girl, I have similar experiences with people and my beliefs. Me personally, these were during Ramadan while fasting. I just started to ignore those friends, then it ended up in the connections with them being cut off.
Strings 7 months ago
I would point out: doesn't matter who you hang with, you're always going to have these feelings of you don't learn to be happy with yourself. Unfortunately, you found some lowlifes willing to take advantage of you
Farah the Turtle (Post author) 7 months ago
Yeah but these ppl are making me jump off buildings. I dont think REAL friends would do this (Yes I do hate myself btw. I wasnt like this before but oh whatever)
Load More Replies... Estelle E. 7 months ago
Info, how long before your last year graduation? The answer might be different if it's a matter of two months or two years
Bill Cipher 6 months ago
As a Muslim girl, I have similar experiences with people and my beliefs. Me personally, these were during Ramadan while fasting. I just started to ignore those friends, then it ended up in the connections with them being cut off.
Strings 7 months ago
I would point out: doesn't matter who you hang with, you're always going to have these feelings of you don't learn to be happy with yourself. Unfortunately, you found some lowlifes willing to take advantage of you
Farah the Turtle (Post author) 7 months ago
Yeah but these ppl are making me jump off buildings. I dont think REAL friends would do this (Yes I do hate myself btw. I wasnt like this before but oh whatever)
Load More Replies...
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