It's taken decades to lose the bad habits that resulted from being raised by people who were strict, and not kind! I could go on for days or years about all the things I had to unlearn, starting with my self-image, and going on to social skills.

For now, I'll just say that whenever I asked for anything, the usual response was a "no", usually with no thought given to the actual request, because saying "no" kept them in control in just about any situation. So I grew up thinking that the universe would also say "no" to me, and I got in the habit of saying "no" to myself when I wanted anything, and that lasted a very long time. I'd deny myself things I wanted because I thought that I couldn't have what I wanted, and that's just how things were.

It was a personal triumph when someone asked me if maybe I wanted to go to Antarctica... and I said "YES" without hesitation! And I went, too. It was awesome.

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Otter

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Birgit M

Birgit M

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3 years ago

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I absolutely feel you! My parents were the same and to this day I always feel the need to justify myself for wanting something for myself. How good for you that you could get over it!

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In some ways I’m glad I grew up in strict household. My dad was in the army and he brought those military sensibilities home. I was expected to pull my weight from a young age and I think that made me a more hardworking person than I might’ve been otherwise.

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F-Dup

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I'm very good at solving problems on my own and dealing with (not making!) money as a result of my upbringing. I have no friends, social connections or social abilities, though, and am severely depressed and isolated.

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I am a robot

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