Any member of the LGBTQ+ community will probably tell you that coming out can be many things: difficult, heartbreaking, or on the contrary - beautiful and freeing. Our readers were asked to share coming-out stories of their own, and the submissions were flooded with emotional messages.

We’re hoping that reading these can raise awareness about this important topic and maybe even inspire some closeted people to be more courageous and confident about themselves.

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#1

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) It wasn't planned.
My parents left one day to go shopping and I was running around screaming "I'M GAY!"
Turns out they came back early. Lesson learned and embarrassment received.

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basically_bill_cipher
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#2

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) The first time I was about 7 years old, and my father did NOT take it well that his "son" was now his daughter. Mom somehow convinced him it was "just a phase", which worked great until he got sick of it when I was 9. That's when he decided to commit a federal crime against me and threaten to keep doing that to me every night until I gave in and started acting like a boy. Traumatic, to say the least! It took me about 30 years to undo the damage and find myself again.

Joke's on him, I'm out to my friends and family now (I was quite direct in telling them and they're all cool with it) and he's living alone in an RV miles away and hated by all of his relatives.

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Sky Render
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#3

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) I didn't tell them. I had a TikTok and they were blocked on there. They stole my phone saw it and told me that they are the only people who will ever love me if continue on with this stuff.
I am a genderfluid, asexual, and lesbian by the way. They took away all of my social media and here I am using bored panda because I am bored.

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Lyric/Koda (he/xe/it/they)
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HooowlAtTheMoon
HooowlAtTheMoon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sorry, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here (im a gender confused asexual demiromantic lesbian if that matters)

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#4

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) Not me but my wife's husband is gay and his coming story just shows what a great family they are. When he decided to tell his mom and dad he is gay his mom's answer was: "Honey!! I made you. I knew it before you could even know it yourself. And I couldn't care less. Be who you have to be. I love you. I'm proud of you. I just want you to be a respectable and happy man" and his dad ran out of the room to bring back a bottle of champagne they were keeping to open it when their son would feel safe and strong enough to tell them. I wish everybody had parents like them. The world would be a better place!!

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Abhinc
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#5

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) I just told my friends and they went: "Wait, we're supposed to be surprised?? Quick, guys!!"

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sunshineonmars
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#6

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) Well, my mother's kind of against my sexuality. But I wrote her a letter about me being bi. She hasn't answered yet, but my foster family is with me and supporting me!

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~+Willow+~
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#7

My dad pretty much ditched me and my mom when I was two so never had the greatest relationship. Cut to high school graduation and he feels the need to reach out so he invites me to his wedding. He told me it was his fifth so he wanted to poke fun at the institution so he was having it on Halloween and it would be a costume party. Well, in his absence he’d neglected to realize I’d been recently employed as a full time drag queen. I knocked on his door in full drag: a skintight leather catsuit, leather waist clincher, long black hair, stiletto boots, the works. When he opened the door he took one look at me then leaned back and shouted to his wife, “Honey, did you hire a hooker?”

“No, dad, it’s me.”

Best. Revenge. Ever.

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Matt Storm
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#8

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) I just listened to "A Little Bit" performed by Alex Brightman on full volume the whole day and my dad thought it was a funny song so he showed it to my mom and told her that I showed it to him, and she listened to it, then looked my in the eyes and said "Are you gay?" and I said "yeah" and started crying. then she asked a bunch of questions and it was nice.

Then I accidentally came out as genderqueer to my mom the other day bc I was crying about insecurities and stuff and she was like "oh but you're so so beautiful, don't worry!" and I went "I don't wanna be beautiful, I wanna be handsome!" and then my mom was kinda like "Oh... I need to know.... what are your pronouns my dear?" and I said I don't know. She told me it was okay, I could still be figuring it out.

And to my friends I just told them something random and I ended it with "anyways girls are hot", and they were like "WAIT" most of them were okay with it, one came out to me at the same time. One literally started the conversation by calling me a lesbian and winking at me I was like "what how did you know" apparently he'd known longer than I knew lol. One went on a rant about how the bible says I'm sinning and how I'm going to hell (I told her praise satan, she wasn't ready for that. she eventually learned to deal with it because me and that other lesbian who came out to me at the same time were her only friends lol). One did the CLASSIC "so do you have a crush on ME?" and I did at the time so that wasn't a good look for lesbians.

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-logansucrose- (he/him)
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#9

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) My coming out wasn't dramatic, because I know my parents support LGBTQ+, but I wasn't planning on coming out, because I think people shouldn't need to come out, as we are on the same level in importance as CisHet people. I think you should just say your pronouns, and that's it.
But of course, there are still people who think that LGBTQ+ is wrong, which is sad. Anyway, I just kind of mentioned I was Lesbian to my dad, at the dinner table, and my sister, who was also there. I don't know if they told my mom, but later when I accidentally mentioned it to her, she just acted like she already knew.

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Nicola Dimigen
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HooowlAtTheMoon
HooowlAtTheMoon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well that's nice. a lot of parents kind of realize it before you, they're good at reading their kids like that. i don't even know why i was scared to come out, my parents are so supportive of lgbtq that they stopped going to church because they didn't want us exposed to homophobia. and they are love church, so thats a big thing for them, and we're Christians so thats really cool to me.

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#10

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) I got a frying pan, walked up to my Mum, and said: "Hi Mum, look at this amazing pan! You should hang it up on the wall because it reminds you of me!" She looked at me like a was an idiot. So I said, "It's a pan, and I'm a pan..." It didn't work and I didn't feel like explaining. So I'm not out yet.

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Emma_Aitana yay
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Nudge
Nudge
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

aw sad that she didn't get it that would've been hilarious

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#11

This is the opposite of what was asked, but I moved across the country to San Francisco when I was 20. I'd met this guy Mike and hung out with him a lot, when I'd call home I'd talk to my parents about him and things we did together. Finally Christmas time came along and I said I was going to come home and bring a friend along whose parents were out of the country for Christmas. Mom of course said "Great! We're looking forward to meeting your friend!"

My parents seemed surprised at the airport when I got off the plane, hand in hand with my girlfriend, Christine. Later that day when we were alone my mom asked "Wait, where is Mike? Isn't he your boyfriend!?" When I said "No.... he's my friend." She said "Oh my god, we thought you were gay and weren't ready to come out yet! We thought Christine was Mike's friend"

Then it hit me, I'd been pretty quiet about my relationship with my girlfriend when talking to my parents, I really only only mentioned her in context with Mike like "I went out to dinner with Mike and Chris". And I remembered that when we talked on the phone, Mom would ask a lot of questions about Mike, trying to give me an opening to reveal that he was my boyfriend - I always thought it weird the way she was so interested in him.

So even though I'm not gay and didn't actually come out, I found that my parents would have been very accepting, which makes me pretty lucky after hearing some of the horror stories from friends whose parents who would not accept their homosexuality at all.

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Johnny
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#12

I'm going to do the time I came out to my friends, cause I still I haven't come out to my family yet. But I hope I will by the end of the month.

Anyway, my friends and I were at Knotts. I think we were in line for The Log Ride, and they were asking me who my ex-crush ex-friend was. I was like, if I tell them, then I'd have to come out. But I was originally going to come out. So, I said, "Lemme get one thing straight, I'm not." A look of surprise crossed my friends' faces. They accepted me and I was so happy. Then one of my friends said "That was so smooth, I think I might use that next time." I gave her a look and she came out to us as a lesbian. My other friend also came out as bisexual too. In the end, I was glad I came out to them. They were so supportive of me. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y'ALL!!!

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XxcallistaxX
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#13

Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories) I haven't officially come out to my parents, but I drew an ace flag and hung it up, and folded up my clothes to look like an ace flag. I haven't come out to my friends because I haven't seen them in a long time, but I'm afraid they won't like me anymore.

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Chillace
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HooowlAtTheMoon
HooowlAtTheMoon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure your friends will still love you, if they don't, they're toxic and not good friends. you can be whoever you want and love whoever you want. I'll be your friend, if that makes you feel better about anything.

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#14

This is a little unusual, but I think it fits. I've been married a long time, and always loved the romantic and fun bits leading up to sex, but not sex itself. We thought I couldn't possibly be asexual because I always enjoyed myself beforehand. My husband knew this, and we always communicated clearly about what we wanted and needed (we used to joke that we probably talked about sex before anybody else in the country!).
One day, he was reading a novel where the main character described herself a "asexual, but not aromantic." He said, "Honey, I think this is you." So I guess my husband brought me out of the closet?

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Easily Excitable Panda
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#15

Yup I'm bisexual and I'm allowed to have girlfriends (I'm a female) but only allowed to marry men.

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i ate ur toes for dinner :)
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HooowlAtTheMoon
HooowlAtTheMoon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's my brothers logic too. He told me it was fine that I could have a girlfriend I just couldn't marry her. Even though he's bisexual, he tells himself that he can have crushes on boys but he has to marry a girl. Internal homophobia sucks. When you turn 18, your parents can't control that, because you're technically an adult.

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#16

I said “Hey, I’m asexual” and they were like,” Okay, but what do you want for lunch?”

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Silre
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StrangeLittleThing
StrangeLittleThing
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You just came out as asexual, it had to be garlic bread, was it garlic bread???

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#17

I was in the car with them haha and then I was kinda like "hey...I'm a lesbian..." and they were like oh okay and my mom asked if I was suicidal which...thanks for caring I guess but it was kinda weird
and then I just kinda mentioned gay memes and my friends picked up on it

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Nudge
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Noelle Morrison
Noelle Morrison
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She probably thought that because a lot of LGBTQ people commit suicide, because others bully/harass them.

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#18

After seeing Eret wearing a dress and coming out as bisexual in front of so many people inspired me, I wasn’t afraid to let my true colors shine anymore. I told my family, my friends, and grandparents. My family accepted it almost immediately :), my friends being the teenagers we are they said “POGCHAMP” which made me laugh and feel appreciated because now my friend group has one of each. My grandmother however, we had an argument, she did say that I am female, but after talking it out we decided to just not bring it up again. My grandfather was chill with it. (Btw I’m non-binary)

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Phica Afton
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#19

I first told by best friend before we were about to preform at a Christmas party. I told her I am gay and she just gave me a big hug. Then she was like I’m so proud of you and I still love you and care about you. Then we both cried. Then we went and preformed. Later that night I came out to rest of my friends. It was and still one of the most amazing nights of my life and wouldn’t change a thing. Ive got some advice for any closeted teens out there. I’m a teen too. I know how you feel. Constant fear and stress about people finding out your secret. Just find someone that you know will accept you. Tell them who you are. I promise that when they accept you you will feel like a GIANT weight was just lifted off your chest.

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Beans Are The Musical Fruit
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rennie roo
rennie roo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I go to a catholic school and I am so scared to come out because I did with one of my "friends" and she was like ohmygod do you have a crush on me?? and you can't change in the girls locker room anymore, it's creepy. :,( anyone have any advice

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#20

While explaining to my parents what being aromantic means.

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MiaOokami
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QuokkaVibes
QuokkaVibes
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And than make it crystal clear that no, in fact you are not AROMATIC

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#21

Ok. My coming-out story is really not interesting. I came out to my brother with a text message, and with my parents, while we were watching tv, I was like, "Hey. I'm Bi." And they were like "Cool." I came out to by queer friends through a text message, and that's... it. Not that intristing. :)

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Cooper Schultz
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Viviane
Viviane
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes, the not--that-interesting stories are the loveliest.

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#22

Didn't have to. It's that obvious.

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Rage of Aquarius
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Laura Ketteridge
Laura Ketteridge
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really hope that with future generations there's no need to come out as there will not have been the assumption everyone is cishet.

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#23

My parents found out when my mum was accidentally added to a group chat and I didn’t realise and said my gf dumped me so I didn’t really come out to them but I came out to my friends by just telling them that I had a crush on a girl and hoping that they were supportive (they were)

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Just a girl with a brain
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#24

I made a six layer cake with my brother (he knew way before my parents did and he was totally cool, just surprised) where each layer was a color of the rainbow. On the top I wrote " I

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Draga Millani
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Fishwasher
Fishwasher
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

did you accidentally press publish? That's really impressive it's hard to bake a cake like that

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#25

Bi. Knew my mother was supportive and just told her, but was unsure about my father. Me and him got chatting over wrapping some christmas presents for family, and he made it known offside that he was perfectly fine with LGBT+. So I told him too, he shrugged and said that it's fine, and jokingly said to add girls to the list of people to bring forward for marriage proposals.

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Kira Okah
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#26

I was planning to do something big, but I ended up just going up to my parents and saying “ Hey, I’m bi.” Thankfully my parents are very supportive- they bought me a bi pride flag and earrings for the pride picnic going on in my area soon! It’ll be my first pride month out of the closet and I’m so grateful for an accepting family.

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That One Gay Dog
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#27

I told them on the spot

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LeProudDork(She/They)
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#28

My mother would NOT SHUT UP about cishet intercourse so I just kinda yelled at her (after asking her to stop several times because nobody at her house was gonna do THAT) “IM GAY CAN YOU STOP NOW??!” Afterwards she didn’t believe me, and kept asking “are you reeaaally though?” And once I finally convinced her she didn’t care. Then the next day she asked me about pronouns and exact sexuality and I told her (they/them/theirs) and she hasn’t respected it since. Anytime I correct her she m arks it as disrespectful.



Almost all my friends are lgbptqiaanbfd+ But I told the first at a sleepover when I was talking about a girl I liked.

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Silly Snek da third 0908
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HooowlAtTheMoon
HooowlAtTheMoon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She shouldn't tell you you're disrespectful, she's the one being disrespectful

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#29

not dramatic for me... I literally said I was gay, then later I said I was Genderfluid... So I have to yell at my mom about my pronouns...

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Omega_Furry
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#30

I just sorta mentioned it and hmthey were like ok cool and that was that.

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Butternut DerpFarts
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Carla Campbell
Carla Campbell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My best friend (Gay male) decided to come out to his mom when he was in high school. We lived in a VERY small town. Her response: "Remember that pistol I got you for Christmas last year? Why don't you use it to blow your brains out?" I have NEVER, before or since, seen that level of hurt on a person's face. They still speak, but THAT type of talk is taboo. 😢

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#31

Ok, I have 2 stories.
1. I had a few friends that I came out as trans to. Well, my drama class created a discord account and someone asked about everyone's name and pronouns. I told the truth but they still didn't know my preferred name. So, I sent a dm to my friend that I was already out to so she could pretend not to know about my name and ask over discord so that I could come out that way. It's much easier to come out when someone asks. She's a great friend. So anyway now I'm out to most of my drama class, but that's it.
2. I never officially came out to my family, but I told my younger sister. This was a mistake because turns out my sister doesn't know how to keep her damn mouth shut and at total random decided to blurt out that I said I "wanted to be a boy" (I don't want to be a boy I just simply am one, she hasn't quite grasped that concept yet but that's ok she was only like 6 at the time). Anyway, I started arguing with her, assuring them that it wasn't true. Do you want to know what the only defense my dumb a**e could think of was? I can't be a boy, because boys have cooties. COOTIES. THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF. Anyway I knew I screwed up, my parents obviously didn't buy it and they're super transphobic so I think they're trying to pretend they don't know but they're doing a terrible job hiding it. S**t.

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B0n3z_B
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Easily Excitable Panda
Easily Excitable Panda
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry your family is transphobic. It's never made sense to me to do anything to love my friends and family. I hope you're able to survive that environment and stay strong!

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#32

Um, I tried to come out. Mom told be I was too young to be asexual. Not even gonna try to tell her I’m biromantic. She thinks I’m an extremely enthusiastic ally. I have to pretend I agree that I’m “too young for a sexuality”. My Dad and his girlfriend fully support me though so that’s nice 🥰 told them over text

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Just a girl in a crazy world
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#33

My parents thought I was going to say I was pregnant.
They were relieved I was *just* bisexual.

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Diary of a Disabled Person.
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Lady Lava
Lady Lava
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was exactly what some of my friends thought when I came out. I could be pregnant, or have some severe disease, so serious I was while saying "I want to tell you something". Then it turned out I was *just* a lesbian... 😉

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#34

Oh, a continuation of 26, my step mother saw my pride pin this month (June) and asked, “oh, so what are you? Your friend is pan, right?” So I told her and she was kinda confused but then asked me if I had a crush on anyone (I lied and said no) and she told my dad the next day.

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Silly Snek da third 0908
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#35

legit just used the ace of spade wrote "this is me" on it and shoved it under my parents' door.

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the warner sister
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#36

A little over 5 years ago, I'd been talking to a girl on a dating site, asked her out and she said yes! I was in my late 20s and never had a date so I was amazed. But then came the question of how to tell my parents. I told my mother that I "might be going on a date... with a woman." That was it. I don't even remember her reaction. Never told my dad.

The date never happened (she ghosted me) and my mother told me I was just confused because I didn't have enough female friends... So we haven't spoken about it since and I haven't really broached the 'hey I'm non-binary' thing either.

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Dodo (they/them)
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Viviane
Viviane
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you've met someone nice since. By the way, your mother sounds confused.

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#37

So i came out to my friend and texted her saying i was bi and she was actually bi too (pretty big surprise) then later she opened up to another friend and she was bi too (jebus pretty big coincidence) and I said i was bi too. Then, another friend opened up about being pan(ok someones gotta be lying).

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Fishwasher
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Nicola Dimigen
Nicola Dimigen
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haven't you heard about the theory of gay attraction among friends?

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#38

When I came out to my mom she thought it was a phase or the result of something traumatic. It really made me more confused but I've been like this for a long time so I know my truth.

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Priscilla Reshell
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Viviane
Viviane
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew some parents who thought the same thing at first when their kid came out as trans. Luckily, they got over it and became his biggest believer. They're really happy for him. They did a lot of research and now they could give a dozen TED talks about supporting a trans child.

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#39

I came out to my mother first on a walk and I said “hey, I think I’m gay” and she was all cool about it and stuff. And then I told my friends on the group chat and I said “hey, guys, I’m gay, I like girls, hope you don’t mind” and they were like “that’s fine!” and “why would we mind?” It was really cool and nice.

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WritingSatyr
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Kevin Humble
Kevin Humble
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's how it should be. Hope we get to that place before we all kill each other.

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#40

I've only come out to my immediate family, so for my mom I just told her right when I realized, but for my dad I just wrote him a note. I plan to tell my grandparents and uncles next time I see them, but I'm scared since my grandparents are kinda homophobic. I'm bi btw. And if you have any ideas on how I could come out please please tell me.

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Nerdy Panda
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Viviane
Viviane
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can you mention it to just your uncles for now? Whether they keep it secret or tell your grandmother is up to you. Not everyone comes out directly. One of my in-laws told her siblings and asked them to tell their father and see how he reacted (fine, as it turned out). One of my relatives asked her mother to tell others about being a lesbian (I had suspected, so no surprise when the mother told me).

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#41

i just told my friends and they went "wait, we're supposed to be suprised?? Quick, guys!!"

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sunshineonmars
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#42

I told my friends I had something to tell them, Friend1 jokingly goes, "So, you're finally telling us you're in love with Friend2." - And I replied, "No, that was, like, two years ago." - They both gaped. Turns out, I only have two straight friends anyway.

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Rage of Aquarius
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#43

I knew I was trans lesbian 25 years ago, but I had other issues that were much more pressing - substance abuse, mental illness, abusive relationship. Over the years, I got sober, got help with my mental illness and after a few other relationships, quit dating. I experienced a spiritual awakening - I became Christian - and realizing that God loves me exactly as I am made it possible for me to fully embrace my trans lesbian self.
I'm out to some friends. I'm going to seminary this fall and I included the info on my application - my denomination is accepting/affirming. I haven't told my parents because they wouldn't understand and it really doesn't matter to me.

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Luther von Wolfen
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Istax
Istax
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2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

trans lesbian?... you mean a straight dude?

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#44

Well, when I was a teenager (I'm 33 now) my older sister told me if I didn't come out to my parents right then and there then SHE would do it for me. So she sat my parents down in the basement and I told them I was a lesbian, and the first words out of my mother's mouth were "How could you do this to me?!"

Long story short I'm no contact with my family...

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Momma Jess
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#45

I haven’t yet.... my parents are kindaaa homophobic (they said there’s nothing wrong with gay people or people part of the lgbptqiaanbfd+ but whenever I watch things like Larray or James Charles or something they say turn this off or why do you watch this, this isn’t appropriate) so can someone please HELPP should I tell them? If so... how

Btw I’m bi 💗💜💙

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𝕔𝕦𝕔𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣🥒
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Viviane
Viviane
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Comment #1: Not an easy situation. My first concerns: are you dependent on them? If they react badly, is there a place where you can go?

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#46

I haven’t come out to my family yet, but I have a group of friends who are all LGBTQ+ so it’s pretty hard not to come out there

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Tunder
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𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖
𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just tell everyone u think should know and if you want tell them not to tell anyone else so u can come out on your own terms. I shouldn't be giving this advice because I haven't come out to my family either but that's because they are scary

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#47

I came out to my friends while we were having a drawing competition. One of my friends looked over my shoulder and said "Your lines are really crooked." I responded with "my lines are not straight and neither am I!" and they were just like "ok!"

BTW I'm bi

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Phantom682🇺🇦
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CrazyCatLady
CrazyCatLady
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol that’s so good! Btw though, why do you have a lesbian flag on your profile picture if you’re bi?

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#48

It was Christmas time and we were about to sit down for dinner. This was when I came out as Bisexual. I have yet to come out as lesbian. I quickly got up grabbed a napkin went to my room and wrote on the napkin "I am Bisexual" and when to sit back down. After dinner, my mouth was covered with pasta sauce and I grabbed the napkin and wiped my mouth with it making sure the words were facing them. long story short my aunt and uncle ALSO CAME OUT A BISEXUAL.

crazy right?

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That. Lesbian. Girl
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StrangeLittleThing
StrangeLittleThing
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You think that's crazy? Want to hear the crazy thing with my family? (I ask because I don't really want to share with someone who doesn't want to know, also I wasn't being disrespectful or anything when I said You think that's crazy?)

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#49

So I had just gotten my second Covid vaccine, and it was So. Freaking. Cold. And I was crying, I dunno why, so I had my mom come and tuck me in and I said I wanted to talk to her about something and said I was nonbinary. She said she would support me no matter what as long as I am a good person. I brought it up again this morning and said I wanted to switch to they/them pronouns. She’s going to tell my dad and Papa(my stepdad) along with my siblings because I don’t really want to tell them because telling mom was all I really had the capacity for right then. But they support me so yay!!!

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#50

I wanna start by saying I’m very lucky that I have an incredibly accepting family. I never really officially came out as being queer, but rather I (a female) mentioned that I had a crush on another girl in my grade and was talking with her. I showed my step-mom a picture of her and she said “Awww! She’s cute!” And that was it. I hope that one day, all parents will have that same reaction to their child saying they have a crush or are interested in anybody of any gender.

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jewish.space.laser
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#51

Hi Mom, I'm bi. Now let's talk about my girlfriend !

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June
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#52

I never did. I just stopped hiding things and eventually they realized.

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Ari Trionfo
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#53

Decided to take the plunge over a big family Sunday lunch, that way I'd only need to do it once. Now this back in the 80's, a lot if my queer friends had been kicked out of their homes, AIDS was terrifying everyone and most weekends somebody was assaulted for their sensuality. Deep breath. I'm moving in with (X) because she is more than a friend. Deadly silence followed. The my Dad cleared his throat and said " pass the mash, love". My head started pounding, my heart was in my mouth, I started to stutter and he continued. "We thought as much, hurry up before it gets cold!". I know I'm one of the lucky ones.

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Michelle Gosney
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#54

I’m bi. Turns out, my sister knew almost before I did! My mom is extremely supportive and when I came out to her she didn’t really seem surprised but when I told my dad and stepmom they sort of acted like it was just a phase and we haven’t addressed it since.

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Rachel Knaub
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Easily Excitable Panda
Easily Excitable Panda
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The moon has phases. Human beings learn about themselves. I'm glad you've got your mom and sister on your side!

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#55

I haven't told my parent's yet but last march I finally just texted my friend that I was questioning and she literally said in all capital letters "YAASSSSSS LIVE YOU'RE TRUTH BABE HECK YEAH" and also told me almost all of her friends are some part of Lgbtq+ and that shes bi!! So yeah im really glad that I told someone!!! BTW Happy Pride month!!🌈🌈

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Just another bored hooman
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#56

lol i came ouut to my most of my friends and then my parents got my phone and saw so that wass that i guess

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#57

I asked if they support LGBTQIAP+ they said yes. So I said I like girls, and identify as pansexual! :)

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FREJA TVEITBAKK
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#58

i was kinda underwhelmed for mine, ive seen so many tiktoks of parents hugging their children of congratulating them, but mine just stared at me and went 'ok". and that felt kinda like a punch in the gut to me. itwas like they thought finding myself wasn't worth celebrating. but they still support me so . . .

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it's Wednesday my dudes.
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Tess the ferret
Tess the ferret
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they support you, surely thats the most important thing? Maybe the 'ok' is just because they can accept it so easily, and the parents jumping around celebrating are confused and trying to hide it? Idk, this sorta made sense in my head but not so much now oh well hope it helps(if you can understand it that is)

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#59

So I'm male and ace. Few years back, my dad and I were chatting at my grandparents' house. He's pretty drunk, going through a second divorce, starts talking about this girl from work, 20 years younger than him (he was 50), going like "I think I could bang her. But should I? What would you do?"

So after a few minutes I got so uncomfortable with that conversation I decided I'd rather come out than continue discussing this. I was pretty drunk but sobered up real quick. I was really nervous but tried to play it cool, like "I don't know what to tell about that, I'm ace."

He was cool about it, said he won't tell anyone if I don't want him to, and went right back to talking about how thirsty he was for this co-worker.

I have very mixed feelings about this now.

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Sean Paul
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Nudge
Nudge
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's weird that your dad talked to you about that ...

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#60

My parents were/are very supportive! My mom used to be bi when she was my age actually! So, I had a crush on my girl bff, but I also like guys so at first I was bi, but now I'm pan!! Oh- and my cousin knows and he is like the BEST! Its also my first pride month coming out! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!

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boredleo
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#61

Mine is embarrassing, I was looking at LGBTQ memes on one window of Chrome and doing homework on the other. I asked my Mum for help on the homework and then left the room for about 20 seconds. As I came back I heard "Uhhh, what is this?". Luckily my family's very accepting, but at first I freaked out, ran upstairs and cried for a while. We had a conversation about it after I'd calmed down. I always felt very disappointed that I didn't get to make the choice to come out, but I'm glad my family was so good about it.

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#62

I came out by email. Well, for the most part, I told my eldest daughter in person (I shocked her) and I told one of my sisters over the phone, they did not take it well. Those experiences taught me that I needed to give my family time to thine about it before responding. That's where the email came from. Just to clarify, my friends and family are super accepting. I was in my 50's when I came out.

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Vicki Pech
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#63

My parents thought I was going to say I was pregnant.
They were relieved I was *just* bisexual.

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Diary of a Disabled Person.
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#64

This may not be what you're looking for, but here goes. I was born female and identify as female, but I am totally a cross dresser. When I was a small child I can remember feeling sooo stupid if I had to put on a dress. It took to my late 20's to start dressing for myself. For the last 30+ years though, the only female garment I wear is a bathing suit. A while back there was a lovely post of a cross dressing man and his outfits. He wore them well and was obviously happy. But the post still made me cringe, lol. Because I can't understand why anyone would choose to wear women's clothes. But, I will Always defend everybodies right to dress the way they want. Or Be who they are! Be true to yourselves, dear pandas!

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H.L.Lewis
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VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate dresses so much. Like, I would trip if it’s a long dress, and I can’t run. If it’s a short dress, I can’t sit properly. I sit with my legs under me or cross legged or other weird ways. I prefer suits to dresses.

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#65

I wrote my mother a 3,000 word essay of an email when I came out as trans FtM 6 years ago.

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#66

i havent...im too scared

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BOKUTO!
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#67

I sent meh friends a pic of the demigirl flag.they solved the puzzle and ye

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#68

I'm not currently out to my family, but I am out to all my internet friends! It kinda went something like this, and I think it's kinda funny, but also very typical for me to do. We were all just kinda chatting on our discord server, and I sent a message that was almost the exact same wording as this; "Right y'all, I have something to announce. I'm Non-Binary!! I prefer they/them pronouns, and I'd really like it if y'all can call me Harley!" They were all really chill with it, and some of my IRL friends in that server have made it no issue to use my preferred name/pronouns.
I'm hesitant with coming out to my parents and sister, as they're all really supportive but I'm still nervous.

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Harley
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#69

So I'm male and ace. Few years back, my dad and I were chatting at my grandparents' house. He's pretty drunk, going through a second divorce, starts talking about this girl from work, 20 years younger than him (he was 50), going like "I think I could bang her. But should I? What would you do?"

So after a few minutes I got so uncomfortable with that conversation I decided I'd rather come out than continue discussing this. I was pretty drunk but sobered up real quick. I was really nervous but tried to play it cool, like "I don't know what to tell about that, I'm ace."

He was cool about it, said he won't tell anyone if I don't want him to, and went right back to talking about how thirsty he was for this co-worker.

I have very mixed feelings about this now.

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Sean Paul
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Viviane
Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your dad starts talking like a teenager again, you can maybe say, "I don't want to be your confidante, let alone your wing man." Plus if he propositions her, he risks a sexual harassment complaint. My husband recently stood up for an employee in her mid-20s who had problems with a 50-something man. The man ended up being transferred to another part of town.

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#70

Coming out to my parents as bi was pretty routine, I think. I was 37 and married before I realized it myself, so there were some questions about whether I was going to "do anything about it" (at the time, I was not) and the standard "maybe it's just a phase" (prefaced with "maybe this is ignorant, but..."). Aside from that they took it pretty well.

I know this isn't in the spirit of Pride month, but the more interesting story was coming out to my parents as polyamorous. That is a specific type of open relationship, aka consensual non-monogamy (where all partners are aware and approve of the situation) that is about full relationships, ie intimacy AND emotions. We opened up our marriage maybe a year and a half after I'd come out as bi. (Yes, it was related. Yes, most bi people are monogamous. But looking back at it, this was always a better fit for us anyway. My husband and his zucchini are very happy.)

Anyway, the problem was that by the time we felt ready to tell my parents about it, they were in the midst of a move. They were leaving my city and I felt like I really should tell them before they left rather than over the phone, but they were just *so* busy packing & preparing for a full month that it almost didn't happen. Then, my mom needed to stay in the city for a week in order to attend a medical appointment. She would stay at my house a few days, and then with her sister for a few days. On the last day, her and I got deep into conversation and knowing it was last chance to tell her in person, I decided to go for it. I told her we were polyam and that I had a girlfriend. She took it... okay. But she had only asked a few questions (e.g. was I being safe, is the other person married) when she got a text from her sister, who had arrived early to pick her up.

We did converse a bit by email after, but not much. I sent her some links, she didn't ask any more questions. In video calls later I didn't force the conversation but I hoped they'd ask me about. My girlfriend's name, anything. But I think they saw it as some sort of dirty secret, not a real relationship with its own ups and downs, struggles and funny anecdotes. I'm really bad at inserting topics into conversations and nothing was said about for months. Until, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was in the process of working through that when my parents called one time and asked how I was doing. I told them - badly - and why. I said, "Since I married my first boyfriend, this is the first time I've had a relationship end." And my dad chuckled and said, "Yeah, I guess it is."

After that conversation, they finally understood I think. It had been normalized, it was something we were allowed to talk about. Now, my mom asks occasionally how the Tinder search is going, or how my husband's zucchini is doing. It took some time to get there, and they still don't *fully* understand, but they're doing their best to support our choices. It's good. :)

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Rider
Rider
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I came out Bisexual and Polyamorous by telling my family I was dating a married couple. They couldn't wrap their heads around it, they thought I was straight and polygamous. When they finally got it, it didn't go well. They were not allowed at family events, later when they were we weren't allowed to be affectionate, then it was she and I couldn't be affectionate. I was really shocked they haven't accepted me being bi. My cousin is lesbian and my brother gay. Yet bi isn't acceptable *sigh*. She left us 7 years ago (together 6), so my family likes to pretend it was a phase. I'll have to come out all over again when the kids move out and if/when we decide to date others. Next time I'll have a party and introduce our partner(s) as the reveal. They can walk out if they don't like it. And while most people are surprised I identify as genderfluid it's a none issue. It took a long time for me to understand that's what I was and by then everyone had already accepted me as is.

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#71

When I was 20 I figured out I was a lesbian when I fell in love with a co-worker who was 17...It was a consensual relationship that lasted over 3 years. Before she turned 18 her parents found out and went to the police to have me arrested for statutory rape.
"So hey Mom, I may be arrested, and here is why..." Not exactly how I wanted to tell her, obviously.
Luckily the police did not pursue anything, because at the time (mid-nineties), the legal definition required "penetration". I am thankful that the police could not figure out how you could have a sex without having a p*nis.
My Mom loves me no matter what, but still does not like to talk about 20 some odd years later, and she thinks nobody else in the family knows still (except my brother).
Luckily my brother is very supportive and told me that only one thing would change, that he now has girlfriend approval rights instead of boyfriend approval rights.

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JG
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Istax
Istax
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my gosh so sorry you got arrested... :( fellow Lesbian here!

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#72

Haven't come out to the family yet but i came out to my friends when we were hanging out and there was this really funky looking branch on the tree (we were climbing trees together) it was really twisty and so I was like "I'm as straights as this tree branch", my crush looked at me and just started laughing so i think she kinda knew. The next week or so our group chat (which had a couple of homophobes) was spamming me with pics of pans and going "oooh is this u" which kinda felt a bit sh*t. The only person who was being nice about it was my crush and this one other chick. FYI I'm pan in case you couldn't tell. The crush was my girlfriend of 3 months, we had to break up due to some stuff in our friendship group. So that was great. Anyways, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH YALL.

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lazyNinjaCat
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#73

Told my friends that “I’m either bi or pan, no clue which one.” And they looked me in the eyes and said and I quote: “We know”. My sister somehow suspects it, and I’m trying to come out to family now.

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AhhhhHHHHHHHHHH
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#74

My sister has always been a borderline-personality b*tch. I was twelve and she was fifteen and she loved causing trouble, so SHE told our dad I’m gay.

It did not go well.

The good news: I haven’t spoken to either of them in twenty years. I feel sorry for the rest of the world inflicted by them.

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Roman Hans
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#75

My mom and me were cooking and I just kinda blurted it out.. awkward.
For my dad I had it planned out to tell him and my step mom. Step moms like “duh” dad was shocked and didn’t speak for like 30 minutes. Still awkward.

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Chelsea Bates
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#76

I knew my mum would support me but I was still really nervous. So I literally just sent her a message, chucked my phone on the sofa and ran upstairs.

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Rose
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Autumn
Autumn
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does this sound like something I would do?? (I have done it actually, while reading or watching anime)

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#77

It wasn’t really a big thing, I texted my mom a picture of the bisexual flag with no context. She didn’t get it even after she googled it and I had to tell her. She said she didn’t care and she loves me no matter what. I knew she would tell my stepdad, but I told my dad myself. I sent him a message telling him I was bisexual, and he sent me back a paragraph basically telling me he was fine with it and he always wants to know what’s happening with me and I cried. Now I’m questioning if I’m genderfluid, and my mom once again is fine with it and I haven’t told anyone else.

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#78

I came out to some of my friends by just bluntly telling them. I was putting off coming out to a set of friends but then one of my friends I was already out to outed me to them. And, I am out to my mom but not my dad. I live with mom; I made a slideshow, that was like "I AM NON-BINARY!!" and it explained my new name/prounouns/stuff i needed. My mom's reaction was "Oh...I know."

She says she supports me and loves me no matter what; she is a little worried it is a little young for me to have it all figured out but she's ok with it!

My dad...I don't even wanna try for a long time....

Stay safe everyone!!!

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Larken
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#79

I kinda just dropped into a conversation about how I had a crush on one of my girlfriends.
Also, I just figured out that I’m a demigirl, and I haven’t told anyone about that yet. My grandma would FREAK. Lol

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LibraryGhost
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Toxxa
Toxxa
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im sorry what is a demi girl? i have never heard the term before. (i do support lgbtq+ i just have trouble with words.

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#80

I am gender fluid. I told 2 friends that i am questioning a while ago but i havn't actually come out so anyone. I am so nervous because my parents are christian and im not sure if the support LGBTQ+ enough for them to accept me. im only 14 so if they dont accept me im kinda screwed. i need help!

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Toxxa
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eimipet
eimipet
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, I’m so sorry. Wish I could help u but ur older than me so 🤷‍♀️

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