Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Breaking Into a House and Trying on Baby Clothes While Holding a Woman Hostage.

Wow! Lovely visuals 😬

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Final score:

15points

T.Milly

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Florida man shot in the head, complains of headache

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Final score:

11points

Has sold soul for corn chip

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"Florida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with cheeseburger, deputies say"
HAHAHAHA THAT'S GREAT

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Final score:

11points

Black Pearl

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Florida man arrested for having s*x with stuffed Olaf at Target

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Final score:

10points

Brittany

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Florida Man Allegedly Stole Pool Floats From Homes to ‘Stop Himself From Ráping Women'. Whelp! I'm glad he didn't hurt anyone...

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Final score:

8points

Geeki Nikki

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“Florida man arrested for biting boys out of frustration” and “Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar.”

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Final score:

8points

Luna (all pronouns)

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A Florida man who thought he was cunning dressed as a middle schooler so he could play in the Youth Football League, but gave up.

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Final score:

8points

Lucas Skrobot

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Florida man runs around airport naked, while screaming that a bomb is about to explode.

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Final score:

7points

Furry Critters

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"A Florida man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of using Kool-Aid packets to steal $994 worth of merchandise from a North Naples Walmart."-(FoxNews) I love the creativity of Florida men.

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Final score:

7points

By Deleted User

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"Florida man faces charges for eating pancakes in middle of the road"

I gotta respect Florida man in this case. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! 🤣

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Final score:

7points

David Houde

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"Florida Man Who Told Cop He ‘May Have Some Needles Between His Cheeks' Arrested on Drug Charges"

I will not be looking further into this.😳

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Final score:

7points

Bittersweetie

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a 81 year old florida man trying to sell his duaghter to a woman for 20,000 dollars

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Final score:

7points

Henry Russell

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Man run over by lawnmower while trying to kill sone with chainsaw.
Man arrested for pleasuring himself with ice pack.
Man displays great agility while running from cops
A toddler shot his mother and father was charged with reckless killing.

Definitely some interesting stuff!

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Final score:

6points

Happi doggi (all pronouns)

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I got a guy dressed as spiderman robbing a store of some sort! 🤣

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Final score:

5points

The sword

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52 year old Florida man arrested for crawling under a table at a library to sniff a woman's feet.

Then he tried to escape on a scooter(?)

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Final score:

5points

BeefCowJr

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Florida Man pulls out penis and shows it to liquor store clerk.


Typical night in Florida, all things considered. GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!

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Final score:

4points

HarriMissesScotland

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'He was between a rock and a hard place.

A Florida man was busted with bags of cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around his p***s — then tried to wiggle his way out of an arrest by claiming the packages “were not his,” authorities say.'

Okay.

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Final score:

4points

Anna B.

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Police: Florida man threatens to destroy everyone with army of turtles

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Final score:

4points

DorkLimester6000

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A Florida man tried to buy a beer while carrying an alligator in his hand

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Final score:

3points

Inflatablelover

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"Florida man with half a head arrested for attempted murder, arson"

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Final score:

3points

Anonymousplease

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‘Drunk Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne:’ woah that’s funny 😂 have an upvote

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Final score:

3points

MPS

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Florida man sprays woman with roach spray, break out nunchucks over loud music, cops say

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Final score:

3points

your sarcastic bestie

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Florida Man Arrested for Trafficking Cocaine-Stuffed Lunchables in Ford F-150


I’m not going to even….

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Final score:

3points

aricely

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Florida man uses finger guns to steal waffle House napkins, deputies say

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Final score:

3points

Succulent 🇺🇦

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Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing Chicago tourist

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Final score:

3points

Janie

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Florida man arrested for assault with fish

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Final score:

3points

Da Dragon Queen

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August 19th is popular.

1) Florida man involved in DUI golf cart crash claims President Trump drove him to drink

2) Florida man arrested after botching in-home castration surgery

3) Florida Man, Reza Baluchi, had to be rescued by the Coast Guard AGAIN after his third attempt to reach Bermuda in a giant homemade bubble.

4) Florida man arrested after allegedly shoving steaks worth more than $50 down his pants

5) Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar

6) Florida man accused of using Kool-Aid packets to steal nearly $1K in Walmart merchandise

7) Florida man, 88, burns raccoon over eating mangoes

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Final score:

3points

The Mom

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Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar

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Final score:

3points

Knights Dagger

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Florida man spits food in woman's mouth during road rage

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Final score:

2points

Silver the Sloth (they/them)️‍️️‍️‍️️‍

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Florida man arrested after NSP troopers find over 400 pounds of marijuana hidden in ATMs

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Final score:

2points

Rainbowskull13 (she/her)

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Florida man charged with attempted murder after failed marriage proposal 😱

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Final score:

2points

Andrea Fucciollo

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Florida man worried about vampires intentionally burns down his home.

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Final score:

2points

Justin Trouble

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Florida Man Arrested After Fit Of Rage When Checker’s Ran Out Of Lettuce...what a lovely November 9th.

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Final score:

2points

foofoofloofy

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"Florida Man Who Ran Naked Through Airport Screaming About A Bomb Sentenced To Probation."
delightful

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Final score:

2points

-logansucrose-

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florida man claiming people were "eating his brains" leads police on insane golf course chase

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Final score:

2points

human

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"Florida man with machete tattoo on face accused of machete attack"

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Final score:

2points

54

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Florida Man Screamed "F**k Them Horses" Before Punching Police Horse.

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Final score:

2points

Melaniedawn Pressler

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Florida man attacked by Hopping mad Easter rabbit.

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Final score:

1point

Joybug

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“Florida man arrested, accused of giving girlfriend a wet w***y”—————— people seriously concern me….especially Florida men now

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Final score:

1point

Elyce

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florida man arrested for passing out marijuana 'because it was christmas'.

2 days too early pal.

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Final score:

1point

best turtle

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Florida man calls 911, admits to shooting naked man at apartment complex

Florida couple arrested after having sex in rear of police squad car

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Final score:

1point

Polar_bear_lover

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The first result was someone who decapitated a hamster...

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Final score:

1point

look

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Drunk Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne

LOL
https://www.foxnews.com/us/drunk-florida-man-jason-bourne

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Final score:

1point

Sofia

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"Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex, police say"

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Final score:

1point

angzarr

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71-year-old Florida man who goes by "Babycakes" arrested for sitting outside his apartment complex in the nude.

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Final score:

1point

Vin_Detta

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Florida man arrested for murder and dismemberment of teen.

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Final score:

1point

Fluffy mommy panda

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Florida man accused of drunkenly berating random children at beach

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Final score:

1point

Helen Meyer

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Florida man arrested, accused of giving girlfriend a wet w***y

What's a wet w***y

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Final score:

1point

the one panda ^_^

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Florida man accused of jumping naked on neighbor’s trampoline before breaking into home.
I am very sure that was fun lol

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Final score:

1point

Legend_Trooper

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A Florida man has been accused of spraying his neighbors with roach spray and attempting to use nunchucks on them -- hitting himself in the head instead -- over a loud music complaint. I have to hand it to him, that was creative.

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Final score:

1point

Outlawzen

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'Florida man charged with sending 13 pipe bombs to Trump critics' 'Florida man arrested after stealing a skateboard and attempting to break into a home' 'Florida man stole a bulldozer and mowed down Joe Biden signs' 'Florida Man Spits Half-Eaten Food into Woman's Mouth During Road Rage Incident'
Jesus. Florida Man was busy on my birthday.

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Final score:

1point

RandomPanda

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"Florida man gets away with truck, computer, and sword but forgot his phone."

man fr left with a sword but not his phone 😂😂😂

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Final score:

1point

most bored panda :/

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Florida man accused of killing dancing flamingo is hit by truck and killed before trial…

I have no words for this

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Final score:

1point

Unnamed Hooman

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"Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex"

I didn't read the whole article. I am not sure if the officer accepted the offer :l

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Final score:

1point

Fabulous Pigeon

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Florida man dies in suitcase after an intense game of hide and seek.
Wha-what!?

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Final score:

1point

Tess the ferret

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Florida man arrested with a pound of cocaine, Florida man caught mowing his lawn naked, said that he wanted his teaching job back, half naked Florida man caught walking his pet goat in the rain..

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Final score:

1point

OminousWiiMusic

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Florida man arrested for pelting girlfriend with McDonald’s sweet and sour packets
...
Will this world ever lose idiocracy?

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Final score:

1point

Doob

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"Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand"

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Final score:

1point

Your Neighborhood Alien

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Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Throwing a Corn Cob at Mom’s Head

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Final score:

1point

not your average weirdo

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Florida Man arrested for DUI while lemur and wallaby escape from truck during traffic stop

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Final score:

1point

Amy

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Apparently, "Florida Man" was not a thing back in 1959.

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Final score:

0points

Joel Strauss

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Florida Man:
Climbs atop playground equipment
Claims people were eating his brains
Takes epic mugshot after driving naked near school with wires attached to penis
Arrested in FBI bomb plot sting
Beat and peppered sprayed his mother because she was a narcissist
Throws samurai sword at a sherrif's deputies
Steals vending machine
Smelling a woman's feet at a library
High on flakka attacks police officer

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Final score:

0points

#DreamSMPistheBest1

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A brave Florida man risked his life in Hurricane Matthew to yell "D*cks out for Harambe"

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Final score:

0points

ShadowMorph

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The incident took place in West Palm Beach, Florida. A Florida man shot by a deputy sheriff in 2013 was paralyzed. Yay!

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Final score:

0points

Percy the Band Rat

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I tried this trend (trend? maybe not a trend. You know what I mean hopefully.) last year out of boredom + friend recommendation. It still haunts me to this day. There were three of them that I know of, one of them not that bad, which was "Florida Man Attacked By Neighborhood Squirrel Who Has Residents On High Alert". BUT THE OTHER ONES... "A Florida man from Yulee was arrested after caught by a woman who witnessed him doing an obscene act in the parking lot of Walmart. Greg Osgood, 29 years old, came towards a lady shopper in her car holding his manhood in his hand and started yanking it while looking at her. The police report indicates that a security camera recorded the entire incident. The lady was in complete shock to see such an unexpected scene and started crying. She cried for help and immediately called 911 from Walmart." and "Florida Man Dry-Humps Olaf Stuffed Animal In A Walmart". I remember they literally had to burn the stuffed olaf afterward cause they could not sell it or give it away or use it after that 😂

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Final score:

0points

Micah Chips 🇺🇦🇮🇱

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GUYS I FOUND ANOTHER ONE FROM MY BIRTHDAY. Ooooh boy, I guess I'm just full of bad luck..."A Florida man decided after crashing into another car, rather than calling police or insurance, to strip naked and make obscene gestures at the woman driving and the young female passenger inside it, investigators said." WTF-

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Final score:

0points

Micah Chips 🇺🇦🇮🇱

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"Florida Man Allegedly Steals Pool Floats From Homes To Stop Himself From Raping Women" girl wtf did I just read... july 6th

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Final score:

0points

august is mentally unstable

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i have several. florida man hires hit man to kill ex girlfriend and blames it on black lives matter. florida man ties a gun to weather balloon to fake his own murder. and my personal favorite: florida man steals an alligator from zoo enclosure.

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Final score:

0points

Sent From The Slytherin House

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Florida Man attempted to set fire to his house instead set fire to himself
Smart man

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Final score:

0points

Billie-Jean Jones

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Florida Man Who Ran Naked Through Airport Screaming About A Bomb Sentenced To Probation

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Final score:

0points

Jo Davies

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Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse

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Final score:

0points

Kevin Teng

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florida man bit elderly mans ear ( 2020 ) and florida man arrested accused of hitting mom ( 2019) i will never unsee the images😳😳

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Final score:

0points

HanglyHam

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Florida man arrested for allegedly throwing corn cob at mom's head. A little tame tbh, but also, how does one 'allegedly' throw a corn cob?

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Final score:

0points

ThePanInPanda

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Florida Man Bit Elderly Man’s Ear, Attempted To Stab Him With Broken Glass

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Final score:

0points

Phuong Quach

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Florida man attacks family with a samurai sword for me. I guess he was studying the blade? APRIL 29th

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Final score:

0points

pusheen fan

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“Florida man threatens to destroy everyone… with army of turtles” wow. That’s just… wow. (April 9)

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Final score:

0points

Orange is Aging

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"Florida man climbs atop playground equipment and yells at children"
and
"Florida man throws cheeseburger at pregnant woman's car at a mcdonald's drive through"

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Final score:

0points

cosmonerd

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Florida man February 18:
“Florida Man Trying To Kill ‘Demons’ Tormenting Him Went On Sledgehammer Spree”

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Final score:

0points

Basil Adler! (he/him)

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Florida man arrested for running naked through a Walmart parking lot

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Final score:

0points

The Phantomvessel

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Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase

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Final score:

0points

Lori Bartlett

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He was nude with electrical wires on his area, with children around, just a lot of stories of nude people, one with d**gs

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Final score:

0points

Chin-sun Ming

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Florida man arrested after toddler finds loaded gun and kills mother on Zoom call.

Wow. A TODDLER KILLED HIS MOTHER.

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Final score:

0points

Jodagoatisagoat

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Florida man finds WWll Grenade and brings it with him to a Taco Bell

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Final score:

0points

MohawkBunny182

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Florida man’s murder was really elaborate. Suicide by balloon, police say.

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Final score:

0points

serenarita

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I found three things that happened
1) A Florida man finds WW2 bomb while fishing and takes it to taco bell.
2) A Florida man is accused of killing his parents because of something about his girlfriend who he met on a porn site.(???)
3) something about someone who was named "paramedic of the year" because he hid the fact that some vaccines were stolen(????) I don't know much about it because my computer wouldn't let me look at the site.

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Final score:

-1point

gay insomniac assassin panda

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Florida man wearing blue bonnet and flowery dress allegedly steals 28 cans of baby formula from Publix

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Final score:

-1point

Summer Mason

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* This is why everyone is Googling 'Florida man' and their birthday

I guess there are too many sites/pages suggesting people to google their birthday. I just get suggestions on how to google your birthday.

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Final score:

-6points

Concept-Peter Roosdorp

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