Hey Pandas, Give Me Your Best Roast (Closed)

i need new roasts for people.

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I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you my friend are a f*****g cactus

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Final score:

10points

Claire Nichols

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Callista pierce 3 years ago (edited)

this is, by far, the best one-liner of all time

0points

"If laughter is the best medicine, you're face is curing the world"

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Final score:

6points

BingoMark

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An Aussie said, “Take away your snow capped mountains, culture, and good food, and what would New Zealand be?”
The kiwi answered, “Australia”.

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Final score:

6points

Claire Nichols

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"You're so stupid that you could climb a tree once and fall twice."

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Final score:

5points

Titas Burinskas

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You are the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo!

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Final score:

4points

Claire Nichols

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Davis the Un-Greatest 3 years ago

This one’s genius

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How many Aussies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder.

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Final score:

3points

Claire Nichols

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404 Panda Not Found 3 years ago

Hey! Stop shitting on Aussies!

0points

Them: you are so ugly
Me: TY ,I TRIED MY BEST TO LOOK LIKE YOU

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Final score:

3points

Mr.lazy

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khadija waseem 3 years ago

The Best!!

1point

If I wanted to kill myself I would jump from your ego to your IQ.

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Final score:

3points

Scagsy

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I’d rather eat s**t than vote for trump

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Final score:

2points

Claire Nichols

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Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago

Having him as president was exactly like eating s**t for four years.

1point

#10

A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”

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Final score:

2points

Claire Nichols

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#11

Why is Australia such a dry country?
We don’t have a king or queen to reign on it.

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Final score:

2points

Claire Nichols

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Aahzmandus Pervect 3 years ago

How is this a roast?

-1point

#12

Hey! Can someone put a lid on this trash can already?

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Final score:

2points

RandomX123

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#13

Them: *rolls eyes*
Me: keep rolling those eyes you might find a brain back there.

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Final score:

2points

Mr.lazy

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#14

Spiders wouldn’t bite you

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Final score:

1point

Claire Nichols

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#15

Even Trump would f**k you

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Final score:

1point

Claire Nichols

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axolotl 3 years ago

this is one of my favorites~

0points

#16

He has a face like a dropped pie

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Final score:

1point

Claire Nichols

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#17

When someone says I look familiar, I say ‘I do porn’

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Final score:

1point

Claire Nichols

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#18

You’re a few pancakes short of an already short stack

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Final score:

1point

Unwelcomed Guest

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#19

My fish have more common sense than Americans

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Final score:

0points

Claire Nichols

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Vibe Check 3 years ago

Heyyyyyy :(

0points

#20

You have a face like a smacked bum

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Final score:

0points

Claire Nichols

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River Webb 3 years ago

but bums bounce back after they get smacked

1point

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#21

Want to hear a joke about the construction industry in Australia?
Too bad, they’re still working on it.

Hmmm and protesting about vacations!!

Noodles!!

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Final score:

0points

Claire Nichols

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#22

A sandwich short of a picnic

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Final score:

0points

Claire Nichols

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