Hey Pandas, Did Your Life Turn Out How You Expected It To? (Closed)

I've been having a really difficult time reconciling my ambitions and aspirations and my reality. I always had a feeling I was made for a purpose and have had only two true callings/passions in my life. Unfortunately, I've suffered from so many medical issues which have basically stopped me from working toward and achieving anything truly great within the scope of my goals.. and now I feel a lack of true purpose in life. I just work a normal job, get paid a little below average, and struggle with the rising cost of living in my state. I'm nearing 30 and am nowhere near where I thought I would be at this age and it is crushing. Anyone else been through something like this?

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well i’m 13 but i hope everything gets better for you.

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Final score:

6points

𝓪𝓶𝔂

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

Thanks Amy

4points

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Not at all! I've never been ambitious, but it was still very hard when I had to quit my job at the age of 28 that was supposed to be the one for life. It had made me mentally and physically ill. So all of a sudden my hole life was turned upside down. My university degree had only enabled me to do the one thing "for a living" that had almost killed me... Haha. I had to leave the city I was living in because I couldn't afford to live there any longer, so I had no choice but to ask my parents if I could move back in with them for some time. It wasn't easy because I didn't have a good childhood. My parents had never believed in me and of course considered me a complete failure then. It was a very, very hard time. I was sick and miserable, I had no idea what to begin with my life, and there were so many people who were talking s**t about me: That I was too lazy to work, too weak to have a job, a ridiculous loser, childish, selfish, ...

Fast forward to the present after lots of jobs, people, and cities:

I don't have a dream job now, but two okay ones that keep me going. Years of therapy made some things easier, and there are people in my life now who don't think I'm a failure. I still have a lot of mental health issues (not because of that job, but because of my childhood) and there are still times when I do feel like the most pathetic failure of all, but at least I can say that my life has never been boring, that I have a lot of stories to tell, and that I have learned a few lessons like these:

1. Your job is not what defines you as a person.
2. You have no way of knowing where you will be five years from now.
3. You have to accept who you are, what makes you YOU.
4. You are stronger than you think.

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Final score:

5points

Birgit M

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

I had the same experience.. I was suppose to have the same job for life.. it was setup to be my career and I even finished my apprenticeship in it, ended up having to leave it at like 21.. now between my two main passions in life, I have so many injuries and medical problems which makes it impossible. I think that is one of my biggest problems.. is that my job has defined me as a person for so long.. because its so closely linked with my life passion and my social circles.. it is something I need to let go of and learn to have my confidence in who I am.. not what I do. Thanks for sharing your story, it really helped

3points

on most roads I took there were always speed bumps, glad I had some suspension sometimes *brother*. We all lose and I lost to much. RIP= Mum dad and both of my beautiful boys. Yet I still keep trying new roads

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Final score:

4points

Hudson Kuss

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

f*ck bro, i'm sorry for all you've lost.. that's rough. Yeah always speed bumps, sometimes it feels like my suspension is wearing pretty thin, but we keep going. thanks for sharing your experience

2points

No.... But never been big on ambition and goals, so no big disappointment there.... Amazed to get past 50, didn't expect that....
But, jeez, It's been tough...
I've gone through sh!t that people just wouldn't believe...
Dark, dark times but, honestly, I wouldn't exchange them for the world...... I might be a broke, middle aged punk goth loser who never grew up but fk it.... At least it's been interesting here on the outside.....

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Final score:

3points

K- THULU

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

I never really grew up either.. makes it hard sometimes to feel like I'm an adult like everyone else.. I'm still stuck in a loop of 90s pop punk and 80s metal lol...

2points

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No not at all. I'm supposed to be married to an amazing husband have 2.4 children a house a dog and a cat. A good job great friends and just living happily ever after.

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Final score:

3points

Julie S

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Julie Snelling (Submission author) 1 year ago

Accidentally posted that before I finished. Reality: No husband, or boyfriend no kids, no job, no pets living back with my parents and no friends. But I try and stay positive just living my life the best way I can because it's the only one I have.

3points

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Oh dear god, no! I wish! But my dreams were unreasonable. Financial security, health, lifelong friends, time for my family, for rest, for my hobbies. Ridiculous!

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Final score:

3points

UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him)

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

I've had dreams like that too.. early on in life. My more recent hopes and dreams seemed a little more down to earth and yet still unachievable for me..

1point

when i was a little girl i always thought i would be a beautiful russian princess who would own twelve horses and sixteen cats.

now, i’m a sad little boy who turns 18 tomorrow, i don’t live in Санкт Петербург anymore, i’ve been diagnosed with autism and severe depression and i don’t expect my life to go on for very much longer.

so no, i can’t really say it went as expected lol 😅 but i really hope things get better for you, OP. find yourself a job that pays you as much as you’re worth (i know, easier said than done), but i’m sure you deserve the world and it’s just life being an a*****e to you. i wish you the absolute best :)

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Final score:

3points

ЛеснойКороль(they/he)🇺🇦🇷🇺

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

Thanks a lot for sharing your story, I appreciate your kind words. Happy birthday for tomorrow, I hope 18 brings you better things, and a different perspective and that your life develops into something beautiful for you :)

2points

Honestly, in a way, yes. My original plan was to get a degree and start working in IT. However, after three years of studying, I realized that mainstream university wasn't designed for individuals with mental disabilities like me. Therefore, I pursued a higher certificate in Cloud Computing at a different university while working a customer service job. After enduring that, I finally landed my dream job. So, yeah, I took a different path, but I still achieved my dream job.

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Final score:

3points

TheSilentEngineer

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Keenan Wright 1 year ago

good to hear! thanks for sharing :) glad you got your dream job in the end

1point

I wanted to live happily with my happy and whole family and my two kitties and my brother, but sadly this never happened.

My mother was a psychopath and cheated on my dad, and caused hell for her second husband. I have another brother, and a half sister now, too. My mom abandoned us and kidnapped us when I was seven.

My dad has full custody of us, but now my older brother and I are messed up, with big bro taking out his anger at me for being the favorite of my mother. He hurt me in ways that caused me PTSD.

My family is always working, and we couldn’t afford much anyways, so I became independent and on my own. My second kitty was given away, but I still have my first kitty, who my stepmom hates with a burning passion.

Then I got diagnosed with cancer, and I’m in remission rn, but having to go through all the tests and the doctors dismissing my pain was traumatizing. I have a fainting issue, and it’s likely linked to a heart condition.

All in all, life has never been the way I expected it to be, ever.

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Final score:

3points