Be nice y’all. Please ask genuine questions and don’t be mean to others unless they’re a troll. Trolls will be reported and banned.

#1

Just wanted to say thank you for such a cool article. I have learned a lot.

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    #2

    @Weezy, I have a message for you.

    You have been reported, downvoted, and warned many times. You are making children, users, and people feel VERY bad with your God AWFUL transphobic comments, and your comments in general.

    Stop. You need to stop. Keep your opinions about the LGBTQIAP+ community TO YOURSELF, and STFU.

    Because the downvotes, warnings, and reports aren't working, I have asked Bored Panda to remove you. Some people think this is a step too far. I think it's just right. You are targeting people with your s****y comments and negative attitude. You have made me feel HORRIBLE about my gender and sexual identity. You have made US feel HORRIBLE because clearly, you have nothing better to do than target and cyberbully kids, teens, and users on the internet when they have done nothing to you.

    I think you are immature, stupid, and reckless.

    And to all the people out there who are feeling sad and horrible about @Weezy's comments, I urge you to take control. Just know, that there are people out there who support you, even if you don't know them. There are people who WILL help you, and not post transphobic comments.

    And @Weezy, go to hell.

    Sincerely,
    Bluegal

    Happy Pride Month, y'all!

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    Red PANda (she/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They’re most likely in a bad mental state and use BP and being a troll to take their anger and aggression out on us; or perhaps the fact that there are infinite genders is dizzying and scary to them. I honestly feel bad for them; clinging to their old beliefs because they’re afraid of change and these “newfangled ideas.” However, I am a very empathetic, nonjudgmental person that tends to see the best in everyone and give them the benefit of the doubt. Also, this doesn’t excuse their actions.

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    #3

    A question for the nonbinary (specifically non-intersex) people out there:
    Do you experience something akin to gender dysphoria like many trans people do, but towards both sexes?
    Or is it more of a feeling that your personality does not conform to society's view of either sex, so you decide to be your own gender? Do you think that would change if society's views on gender roles was different?

    I hope that doesn't come off as mean, I just feel I understand trans people much more that nonbinary people (in the sense that my understanding of nonbinary people is lacking) and want to broaden my horizon.

    Thanks for your time!

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    eame
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, I was AFAB, grew up as a "tomboy" who believed they were a boy in the wrong body, back in the 70s/80s when it was NOT accepted/talked about; Today I would probably just be called Trans and transition. I spent the next 30 years trying to conform to society's expectations of what "womanhood" is, and now don't feel like I belong to either male or female. I'm too masculine to be "female" and too feminine to be "male" in any traditional sense. I don't feel like either. I don't identify with my body at all but the dysphoria comes and goes.

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    #4

    My teenage daughter has come out as bisexual. My response was that I didn't care who she dated so long as she was a good & decent human being, that she chose someone that was a good & decent human being, they both loved each other & treated each other well. How can I support her & not just tell her but actually show her that I'm supportive of her choices?

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    D Constable
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You already have. Coming out is one of the hardest things most LGBTQIA+ people do, after accepting who they are themselves. The thing is, we never stop coming out. Each new job or person we meet etc, we may have to come out all over again. She's shared with you something very hard and you've done what any decent human being would do which is show compassion and love. Showing support is a hard thing to do as it's individual to the person. For some it might be attending pride march with them, others it might be just being there to listen and talk. Best thing I cam advise is talk to your daughter and ask her if there is anything she wants support with, but just knowing you're there and are happy is most likely going to be more than enough

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    #5

    Hey everybody thanks for the chance to ask!

    We all know the guy who says "I identify as an attack helicopter", and we'll, it's just eyeroll-worthy.

    On the other hand, I have encountered people who consider themselves part of the LBGTQ+ community, but say/write they identify as an "android amazon" or a "happy samurai badger" or something like that. You yourself have probably seen more or less "weird" genders floating around as well.
    Do you ever feel offended by such gender names? Do you feel as if you're not taken seriously, especially if you are non-binary yourself?
    Do you fear such "humorous" genders may harm the community as a whole, as in "The LGBTQ+ people don't even take their genders seriously, so why should we?"

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    eame
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do feel offended. Someone said their pronouns were "bun bun" (as in a furry) quite seriously, and that s**t drives me crazy because now nobody takes it seriously at all that some people experience a lot of gender dysphoria and yet don't want to undergo surgical or other biological changes for a variety of reasons, or may choose to be gender fluid, etc. and that is a lot more legit than a sexual preference for dressing up in animal costumes.

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    #6

    Hi. I'm sorry to say this, but I didn't know there was such thing as the LGBTQetc community until a few years ago(I don't pay attention to politics or social changes or whatever). I didn’t(still don't really)get how people can change their genders to whatever they want, because "they can be anything they want to be", or do it "because they feel like it". It makes no sense. I dont understand, but I'm trying to okay? My question is how you wake up one day and think "you know what, I like girls AND boys now"(or the other genders or preferences, you know them all). Anyway, I want to understand WHY, so I can learn to be more respectful and not be as judgemental(I was taught to treat people how I want to be treated, and I feel I haven't been doing that sometimes. I shouldn't judge someone I don't understand). People go through things, and I feel the Pride people get a lot of hate, which you don't deserve. So: *What made you want to change your gender, and why?* If this is a stupid question, don't get mad at me, I'm just curious.

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    freakingbee is going offline
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it’s not so much as want to change as we are who we are, but like for me when i found out being nonbinary exists it made so much sense as to what i had been feeling my entire life

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    #7

    I think my only question would be for the trans folks that were in a relationship prior to transitioning. For example, a lesbian couple that has been in a relationship for some time and one of them decides to transition to male, including medical operations. Is the other non-trans lesbian partner still attracted to the other now that they are male?
    Note: I may not be using the correct terminology, so forgive my ignorance if that’s the case.

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    eame
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone is different. Most trans couples I know broke up, but some stayed together. I have a good friend who identifies as lesbian and has a hard time with knowing what terms to use around her trans-masc partner -- can she still call herself a lesbian without offending/ diminishing her partner's identity as a man? etc. It's so complicated.

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    #8

    It hasn't happened to me yet, but I've heard that someone has and it would be an interesting story if one of you guys have.

    Have any of you ever encountered someone who only supported their own sexuality in the LGBTQ+ community but doesn't support any other sexuality in the LGBTQ+ community?

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    LokisLilButterknife
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please see one of the posts above that asks where trans people and asexual should be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Rhetoric like this truly terrifies me and is a form of gate-keeping. A community divided is a broken one. Everybody within the LGBTQIA+ community is going to have a different struggle. To say one sexuality or gender identity doesn't belong or is more worthy than another is flat-out cruel in my mind.

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    #9

    Hey guys, I've been wondering for a while now, what's a good way to come out as a lesbian to a Christian household? Like, if others have come out in religious families, what worked really well for you?

    Thanks for your time! :)

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    FeatheredDragons
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I come from a Christian household and am a panromantic asexual Christian myself. I've told my parents, and they are 100% supportive, they don't see it as a sin as it's not. God's love is unconditional. Humans are the ones who set the rules. If you feel comfortable telling them, sit them down and just talk. I was really lucky that my family has always been supportive, especially since so many aren't. God didn't want us to hate each other over things we can't change and it's disgusting that this still happens. If anyone's Christian and LGBTQ+ there's a website called hope remains that can help with any doubt about whether your life is sinful (it's not). God made us diverse and I am so sorry that my religion has been used to hurt so many people over the years. Best wishes for you and your family.

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    #10

    This is more about self-discovery than anything, but what would it be called if Im only s3xually attracted to one gender but romantically attracted to every possible gender-? I'm rather new to this whole scene..

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    LokisLilButterknife
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people may refer to this as a panromantic monosexual or a panromantic demisexual (demisexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction only in specific circumstances). Take time to explore and learn! You do not have to have your identity figured out it one day.

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    #11

    Thank you for the opportunity to ask! I grew up in a part of the country where the default when you are interacting with someone you don't know, especially if it is in their professional capacity, is 'Thank you, sir' or 'Thank you, ma'am'. It's just automatic for me after 50 years, and I'm worried about accidentally misgendering someone. Is there a gender-neutral term that I can train myself into instead of sir or ma'am? Or do I just try to retrain myself into 'Thank you kindly'?

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    #12

    those who are bisexual what made you realise that you were bi -a 11 yrs old girl from a messed family

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    Wise Turtle
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, I didn’t exactly have a lightbulb moment that said “I’m bi”, I just always had crushes on both boys and girls. When I realised there was a word for it, I was like “ah it has a name”

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    #13

    This might feel like a really awkward and stupid question but...

    A lot of the people in our system use neopronouns and we want to know if it's actually valid or not? (Ex. One of our alters uses ghost/ghostself)

    It feels weird to ask this but a lot of the people we've seen on the internet are divided on this (sorry if this was already asked!)

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    Quinn Donovan
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have difficulty with neopronouns. I am agender, but of the kind that really doesn't care how you refer to me. I am always very happy though when I can confused with a man and get to hear he/him pronouns, and I would be very happy with "them". But I live in a german speaking region, where most neutral pronouns don't sound natural? Not lik "them", I like "them". People I know use "them" is german as well, just germanised so that it doesn't stand out. I don't mind that, but I have difficulties with getting used to self-created pronouns - I just stumble over them and they don't sound natural. I think different genders should be natural and not worth any thought, and using pronouns that I have to consciously think about because they are out of the norm destroys that normalcy for me.

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    #14

    This may be a strange question, but it’s for the gender-fluid people here; do you change your pronouns with your current gender or do you just use a certain pronoun all the time?

    Also for aroaces, do you hear more support or hate? When I was originally identifying as aroace (I’m abro), I got a lot of hate for it, but some support. My dad told me that I’m just straight and will like boys soon, and I got told multiple times that it’s fake. Someone told me I sound like a trash can.

    And feel free to ask me questions about abro and demigirls!

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    Gregor
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ACE here. Honestly I get neither hate nor support, but mostly apathy. I think it has to do with me being male - there's much more pressure on women to do their part in carrying on the human race or something. As an ACE male, I'm probably just another loser who won't ever get a woman and that's it. Whether I want to have a relationship or not is irrelevant.

    LokisLilButterknife
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a biromantic asexual woman and I have been told by some people within the LGBTQIA+ community and outside of the community that asexuality is a mental illness which it most certainly is not. It broke me growing up and still breaks me. I think there is so many more people who identify as asexual, demisexual, and abrosexual, but are terrified to ever come out due to push-back and people telling them that they are not valid. Asexuals are at an increased rate of being offered conversion therapy to help "fix" them (hormone pills, pills to help with sex drive, religious camps, and hypnosis therapy). Furthermore, many asexuals have an increased rate of suicide for being ostracized and not fully seen as members of the LGBT+ community. I truly hope this stigma ends as WE ALL need to support one another in the community. We may have different struggles, but we all need to stand up for each other!

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    crowspectre (he/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's too difficult to actually keep track of my pronouns and since I'm always okay with he and they and rarely any other pronouns (sometimes it) I just keep it as he/they

    RainWingRoyal
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aro/ace person here! I hear mostly confusion, as a lot people where I live don't know what it means to be aro/ace. I've had to explain it a lot.

    Quinn Donovan
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only ever explicitly say that I'm aroace when asked out on a date (or what might be a date? It happened frequently that I realised afterwards that something might have been a date, so now I mention it regularly just to ensure that there are no expections in that regard when going for a coffee or drink), but I'm positive my friends all know and they don't really care. They know not to talk to me about all that sexual stuff and they definitely don't come to me for relationship advice, and we're golden. My family belives it is unnatural, my grandmother in particular believes that people cannot lead a fulfilled life unless they have kids. So I never mentioned it to them and am not planning to. The LGBTQIA+ community where I live isn't huge, so they are focused on gay and trans people. The meetings are often a way to express sexualitly freely, and I've never seen as much sex happening at a party venue as when it was a LGBT-party, so I don't really fit there. I've never experienced hate.

    JustAnotherPanda (she/them)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gender-fluid means that you have no set gender or that your gender can often change as well as your pronouns. The use of pronouns strongly depends on the person since some people just set their pronouns as one, like me or some people can let people know when their pronouns change which is why you see pins like "ask me" for pronouns.

    twilight (he/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For genderfluid people, some people use different pronouns for their current gender, some just stick to one. It’s different for everybody.

    the_harbinger_of_dooms/t/h
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i tend to lean towards she/they more often, but there are days when i feel more masculine or nonbinary, so i will use whichever pronouns make me feel more myself and less dysphoric. thanks for the question!

    eame
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the heck is "abro" ? As for gender fluid, everyone is different. Some do, some don't. I prefer "they" but most people call me by my birth sex. Some people call me by the opposite sex, depending on how fresh my haircut is or what I'm wearing. Whatever. I don't care.

    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Abrosexual is the fluid sexual attraction between people. We don’t feel attached to just one or multiple genders, abromantic is the romantic attraction being fluid. It’s the gender fluid form of sexuality basically. I say abro because I’m both.

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    ObsidianAce_
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an ace, it’s mainly just apathy. It doesn’t come up in conversation much, and my friend asked what it meant and when I told him he just said “oh, ok” and the convo just moved on lol

    Red PANda (she/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s apathy?! I thought that would just be like not making a big deal about it and treating them like a normal person/not treating them different than anyone else or not singling them out D: have I been apathetic this whole time?! /genuine question; not trying to be sarcastic

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    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ace here. I experience both in a technical way. My mum and dad don't believe asexuality exists, and once made me apologise to them when they found out I was complaining about them not believing asexuality exists to my friends. However, my friends all support me and tell me they believe I'm valid and a part of the community, (over half of them are gay). My mum and dad aren't homophobic btw, they supported my sister when she came out as lesbian and me when I figured out I was biromantic, they just think that asexuals are looking for a special label

    LokisLilButterknife
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum said it was my fault that my first parent broke up with me because I didn’t want to have sex. I have never forgiven her for that and it still gives me trauma to this day. As another biromantic asexual you are not alone.

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    A Wild Bean (they/them/any)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I'm kinda genderfluid? (it's confusing but whatever) Anyway I use any pronouns, but I default to they/them since that's what works for me most of the time. I don't really mind being referred to as she/her when I'm feeling masc, or vice versa, because I know that people can't see how I'm feeling. Of course, everyone's experience is different, so this is just mine :)

    Lukas (he/him, it/its)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm somewhat genderfluid. I experience a spectrum of genders ranging from male to something of femme nonbinary, but I never experience being strictly female. That being said, I typically just put he/him, it/its, and ze/zir, the three pronouns sets I use, in my bio. I personally prefer not to use they/them but I don't really mind too badly if somebody does. Usually, I don't care which I'm called. I usually will only correct my partner if they refer to me as their boyfriend on a more neutral day. My partner is also genderfluid, so they get it. If you know a gender fluid person, just ask their pronouns! I don't speak for everyone but that's the best way to get it right!

    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While not aroace, I am ace; I've known since I was a teenager, but society writ large gaslit me into believing that I just hadn't met the right guy yet. Several years, failed relationships and attempts at a sex life later, I realized I had been right all along. (How much pushback I get has been in correlation with how closely I fit the conventional idea of female attractiveness; nobody gives a s**t that I'm ace now that I'm overweight, but when I was in good shape it was endless.)

    Grammarly
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I go by he/they/she and normally feel somewhere on the masculine/neutral side - Most of the time I have no problem with someone using any of my pronouns

    Red PANda (she/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hi there! I have a gender-fluid friend, usually they go by one set of pronouns a day and will wear a ring (pink, blue, or gray) to signify what set of pronouns/name they use. I asked them what I should refer to them as when they’re not around to say what they’re feeling at the moment; and they said that I could use any pronouns; they don’t care :P

    Scary Mushroom
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me remind wheezy that gender and sex are not the same thing. To re-inform you. Sex is what you are assigned at birth by a doctor. While gender on the other hand is fluid and a way for many people on this planet to express themselves!

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an aroace- from where I go I see more support because I choose to but if I'm outside those spaces it's not always the best tbh

    Raccoon
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ace here- I get a lot of “oh you poor thing!” (Which is rude af) as for the gender-fluid thing it depends on the person

    Dodo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AFAB nonbinary/genderfluid here. My anxiety means I don't really bother with correcting my pronouns but I'll give you my take anyway: 'they' is always good for me. 'He' feels like a lie, 'she' feels uncomfortable. So, yeah, 'they' regardless of what mood I'm in.

    Echo Phernetton
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m genderfluid and I use zhe/zher/zhers pronouns. While I have met people that do change their pronouns when necessary, a lot of us use they/them or other non-specific pronouns to make it a bit easier. Not that people use them, (I dress as my birth gender and people still think I’m cis) but it’s something.

    E. Loop
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Genderflux here (subset of genderfluid): I do change pronouns with current gender

    MaximumKarmaSaint
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aroace here, nobody really pays attention to it, which is absolutely fine with it, the just treat me like anyone else.

    That Fox Over There
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend is gender-fluid and she says she feels male around males, female around females and non-binary when around both, none or other non-binary umbrella people. And she says just to use any of her pronouns (she/they/he). But you can use any system you like. And I am AroAce, but I luckily haven't experienced much hate, but haven't experienced much support either. I mean, I have a BFF who is AroAce and we love supporting each other and looking at awesome wallpapers and memes of our identities. They are amazing. Hi Friend!

    Audrey Rasmussen
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait.... abro is the closest to my sexuality ive gotten in a good.... two years, yep

    lucy dale
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    aroace here and see more support, however in person I interact with a lot of aspec people, and I am a relatively new internet user (within the last 5 years or so), so I wasnt around for that huge uproar in aphobia

    River Daski
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    speaking on behalf of my genderfluid spouse; it's totally up to the individual genderfluid! some will change them based on current presentation, some by what they currently feel, some will use any all at all times, etc!

    Kerri
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please forgive my ignorance, but what is aroace? I hope this isn't seen as rude, as I genuinely don't know

    Kerri
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nvm, as I've read further on, I found that it means aromantic and asexual

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    Mani
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neither support nor hate, i don't speak about sexuality (or lack thereof) to anyone except for my partners

    summersalts
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hi, I'm gender fluid! Yes, I change my pronouns with my gender, but I do have preferred pronouns of they/them, meaning I like people to use they/them as my "default" pronouns, and only use others when I let them know they've changed. Some gender fluid people will also go by different names depending on what gender they're identifying as!

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    #15

    ace pandas: how did y’all figure out you were asexual? I feel like I could be ace but idk if I’m actually asexual

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    MaximumKarmaSaint
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aroace here: I was already aromantic but then I found out a bit later that that doesn't automatically make you asexual as well, I don't love anyone romantically or sexually and never really have.

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    #16

    I'm LGBTQ+ myself and I have a question. (For context, I'm Omnisexual, which means I'm attracted to anyone.) How does it work when, for example, there's a straight couple but then one transitions. For the cis person, do their feelings just go away? Like I said, I'm Omni, so I don't understand this. :)

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    MaximumKarmaSaint
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like they wouldn't completely, but they would lose romantic interest in them.

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    #17

    Can you help me understand QPRs (queer platonic relationships)? I'm ace and demiromantic, so it feels like something I should get, but I don't. What's helped me most with it so far is someone who said people define it differently, like how people define friends vs. acquaintances differently, but I'd still like more answers if possible.

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    mysterious(all pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it would be typically defined as friendship that tends to go much deeper than what is considered normal, although it differs for different people.

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    #18

    Hey I'm still figuring out who/what I am I like everyone but some people say I'm pan and some say omni what's the difference. I'm kinda young I'm asking to figure myself out.

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    Pan princess ( She/Them)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pan is someone who is attracted to any gender without a preference and Omni is someone who is attracted to all genders but has a preference. But you can loosely identify with one of them like I loosely identify as pansexual because I do think that I have a Preference for the gender I like. However I do choose to identify as Pan

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    #19

    I know this question will seem mean, but it's not, I'm genuinely curious. For people who identify as a gender other than male or female, how do you know you are that gender? Like, what does it feel like? Are there symptoms or something?

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    D Constable
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have the answer as I'm cis gender, however I would avoid using the word symptoms as it comes across as it being an illness and could be offensive. I know you didn't mean it that way and this isn't an attack, just a friendly suggestion to show being more of an ally or understanding person.

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    #20

    I think we hear how it is to be LGBTQ+ most often from an US point of view.

    So, how is it to be LGBTQ+ in other countries?

    For example:
    Germany
    Poland
    France
    Spain
    Norway
    Sweden
    Finland
    India
    Japan
    Turkey
    Nigeria
    Kenia
    Ghana
    Brazil
    Argentina

    And others of course, just wanted to name a few.

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    tom qwerty
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i live in ireland, it is actually fine here, there is a few homophobes, and a few idiots in my class use the word as an insult, my friend used it as an insult but stopped when i came out to him. the only place i feel a lot of homophobia is on the internet namely anonomous platforms such as reddit and youtube. i have tried to stop using social media because of that.

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    #21

    I read a profile where the person identifies as a non-binary lesbian. Which. How is this possible? I truly don’t mean to seem ignorant.

    Doesn’t the subsequent lesbian aspect somewhat equate to recognising female gender identity as opposed to non-binary? Due to lesbianism being inherently girl-girl?

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    crowspectre (he/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That means that they're probably more fem-oriented in terms of gender, but they still identify as lesbian. If they were neutral oriented in terms of gender, that'd be trixic

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    #22

    No offense: but what is the point in “neo pronouns” or whatever it’s called. I understand she/her they/them or he/him. But Zey/zem? Why. Again no hate

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    That Goth Demon (zey/zem)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I *think* you found my neopronouns confusing, and that's absolutely fine! So basically, neopronouns are like nonbinary pronouns but for ppl who don't feel like they want to use the they/them pronouns or traditional ones. You can make up whatever ones you want. I get a lot of ppl getting confused about this but it's absolutely fine bcs not many ppl have heard about neopronouns, glad I could answer your question :):):):)

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    #23

    Sorry if this seems offensive, but why do people have pronouns she/them or they/his, ect? I know they/them is nonbinary and he/him is male and she/her is female, but what genders are the combos of he/them/ she/them ect? It is really confusing (Especially because I can barely remember peoples names, I cant be expected to remember someone's pronouns.

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    ShayXie
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like she/they/him because it makes me feel seen. You're acknowledging my otherness. Just she/her (and for awhile he/him) keeps me trapped and choking. As soon as I asked for people to use a variety of pronouns for me, I felt very safe and comfortable. If you are my friend and unwilling to do this for me, I question your intentions toward my well-being.

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    #24

    I at the moment Identify as pan but I'm not sure if I am because I think I might like people of one gender more but I don't think I'm omni. How did you tell if you were pan or omni?

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    Kieran N
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can be pan (or bi or omni) and still have a preference! I'm more attracted to fem people than masc people but I'm still bi

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    #25

    A question for the bi pandas. When you are in a relationship with, say a girl. Do you miss sexual interaction with a man, and vice versa?

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    A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ace/bi here, i prefer men, but sometimes am romantically attracted to feminine men and enbies. also, women are kewl, I just don't feel romantically attracted to them as often as men.

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    #26

    If your gender fluid how do you know when your gender changes?

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    Jacin Larkwell
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use a shirt as an example when explaining it. Sometimes I wake up, and everything feels right, like that comfortable, worn shirt that you have to wear around for work around the house because it's too worn and loved to wear in public. Other times I wake up and it all is just... wrong. Like that silly shirt that is too tight, and doesn't fit right and you just shove it away in the closet where you don't have to look at it again. Thats how I feel and how I decide which way to introduce myself if the situation arises. Does She feel comfortable and right, or does He? If I introduce myself as She, am I going to inwardly recoil because it feels wrong?

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    #27

    I don't know if you guys can help me with this, but I feel like I'm agender. I don't have any preference of pronouns. He/She/They, it doesn't matter. People have asked me SO many times if I was a boy or girl (biologically a female), and I always answer, "Whatever you see me as, I don't care." My friend was confused when I told her it didn't offend me in the slightest, because in my mind, I just don't care. I haven't for years now and I don't know if not caring and not feeling like I have a gender makes me agender. Does it? I'm still super confused about this lol

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    A Wild Bean (they/them/any)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Use whatever term you feel best describes you, but this reminded me of the term "gender apathetic" (there are a few other words for it iirc) which describes someone who feels neutral towards their gender and how it is perceived

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    #28

    Would you include poly within the community? Does it make a difference if it’s a cis-hetero vs a cis-bisexual (for example?)

    Because they don’t subscribe to normative morays etc.

    The acronym is becoming so huge that pretty soon it could become one size fits all which defeats the original reason for it’s existence.

    Originally it was a clear place of refuge for people, but now even the refuge is becoming murky with in-fighting and trying to say who does or does not belong.

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    Jacin Larkwell
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I include it, but I see the community as encompassing identities that not automatically assumed upon first impression. You don't need to come out as straight, or cisgendered, because they're automatically assumed. I've seen it explained better than what i was able to explain, apologies if it doesn’t make much sense

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    #29

    What is it called if I only sometimes feel sexual or romantic attraction depending on the week?

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    Strawberry
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is ok and normal. You might be abrosexual, which means that your sexuality can change over time. some days you might feel certain attraction to other people, some days none, some days to all, and so on. this sexuality is very common and i hope this helps. you also may be asexual, which means you don’t feel sexual attraction. :)

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    #30

    LGBTQIA+ myself, why do people not really like xenogenders?

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    Red PANda (she/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just don’t understand them. Like, you can like certain animals, aesthetics, or other stuff, but when does that become part of your gender and not just personality? Like, if I’m a dog person and I love dogs, am I like doggender or something? Or, if I’m really into entomology, am I buggender? I feel like xenogenders are the product of gender being a social construct and not really being real, and so technically people can make up whatever genders they want and now there’s infinite genders. Of course I will always call people by their preferred pronouns, even if I don’t understand them, but it all just seems unnecessarily complicated to me.

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    #31

    Less of a question more self questioning but, can somone help me figure out what my gender is. I need somone who knows more to help me firgure it out

    Ok so. I want to use she they pronouns but want to be perceived as non binary. It’s almost like I want people to look at me and question what gender I am but i dont feel right using he him pronouns so would that just me she they or is there something I’m missing. Is that just gender dysphoria?

    Also I’m a female at birth lesbian :)

    Anyone have any idea what that gender would be.

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    twilight (he/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, if you want to be perceived as non-binary, then it would be non-binary. You can have pronouns that don’t necessarily correspond with your gender (stereotypically).

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    #32

    This is something I've wondered for a while now actually. What's the difference between Bisexual and Pansexual?

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    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bisexual is like you’re attracted to 2 or more genders but you have a sort of preference like for example you prefer women over men but you’re still attracted to both. Pansexual is like you don’t care what gender someone is, you still want to date them. I saw a comic somewhere where a pan person hit on who they thought was a woman but he turned around and said he was a femboy to stop the advances and the pan character said “does it really matter?”

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    #33

    if you are LGBTQIA+ does that automatically mean your not straight like is there some things that make you not straight and some that you can be and still be straight I have been wondering and don't really have anyone around me to ask

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    Sky Render
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is entirely possible to be straight and still part of the spectrum, as it includes gender identities and also intersex.

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    #34

    I think I might be enby, but looking back on my childhood, I don’t see any “signs” of being enby. What counts as a “sign”? Is looking back on your childhood the only way to tell for sure?

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    Dodo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was in my late 20s before I realised I was enby. When I look back now... well, I was a tomboy. Age 2, I was playing more with boys than girls. My mother has always told me I wasn't ladylike enough. And all of these things can also happen to cis women, so it really isn't a slam dunk situation. For me, it just feels like if you get a huge group and sort them into men/women, then I don't fit in either group. I should also note three things: 1) my best friend knew I was nonbinary before I did (she's trans); 2) I was friends with a trans guy who called me his 'little egg child' (i.e. he figured I was in the process of becoming trans); 3) in my all-girls high school I was voted most likely to have a sex change. So basically it's possible other people know even if you don't.

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    #35

    Can anyone point me to some good literature (academic or otherwise) on the evolutionary benefits of homosexuality and/or other aspects of LGBTQIA+?

    I ask this from a genuinely curious place. Like, obviously y'all exist and are finally beginning to be able to safely and fully come out of the shadows, but how have these been passed along through the millennia if there wasn't some benefit to humanity as a whole.

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    #36

    Hello, Nonbinary person here. Have you ever had the talk with your parent(s) or legal guardian about your gender identity and they say something along the lines of "I was non-binary all the way up until my late 20s before I decided I was a [gender]. I was born with the body of a [sex] and I was always a [gender]. Nonbinary isn't real and there is only man and woman. I have many transgender friends and NONE of them are nonbinary. It doesn't exist and you are just following a fad that is going around at school/work. It. Isn't. Real."


    Is it just me or has anyone else had a similar conversation?

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    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, weezy, it's really not. It seems like you're the one who needs to wake up at some point. You clearly haven't learned that there are people like me who exist and existed before my time and will exist long after I am gone. Take time to learn and think about what you are going to comment before you do it. LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE!

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    #37

    Do you ever regret telling people?

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    DJay
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, I was fully outed before I wanted to be because the person I confided in betrayed my trust.

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    #38

    What's the difference between pan and bi?

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    Butters Stotch
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so bi is like latin or greek or sth, idk but bi means two, just like bicycle, cuz it has two wheels, so bisexual means u like both men and women, two genders, pan on the other hand, is some other language and it means all, so pansexual means u like all genders, typically because gender isn't something that matters to u!

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    #39

    Okay here is my question for lesbians and queers .How did you realize you were gay?

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    Queer Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I don't really know. I like watching and being around people of my gender. When I do, they have aestheticly pleasing looks and are really cute.

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    #40

    I am apart of the LQBTQ+ and have started to learn/explore about the types of tertiary attraction. My question is: What is the difference between friends-with-benifits and a queerplatonic relationship?

    I know there is some kind of difference. The idea of having friends-with-benifits is odd and not appealing for me, but I can see myself being in a queerplatonic relationship.

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    #41

    aroace people what flag do you use the orange and blue one or one of the combination flags or a different one

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    mysterious(all pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the orange and blue flag, but that's just cause I think the colors are pretty, it's a matter preference, and they all work fine.

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    #42

    Hi! Just wondering, what does it mean to be Trans but straight?
    Btw, I don't mean this to offend, just wondering!

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    Phoenix(or nix)they/them
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It means you are the opposite birth gender and you are attracted to the gender you used to be. Basically, some of those people would realize they like the same sex pre-transition and still like that gender after the person transitions to the opposite gender. Let me know if you want a different explanation.

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    #43

    Okay so I need some advice... All this stuff is something I've been thinking about for a while and I'm tryna sort it all out lol so I thought why not ask here

    (I'm cisgender hetero AFAB)

    1. What's the difference between sexual and aesthetic attraction? I mean, people don't actually walk around, see someone hot, and go like, "Whoa, I want to you-know-what with them", do they? Because I definitely do find guys attractive but I've never thought that.

    2. And the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I don't think I'll EVER think that. I'm not averse to you-know-what either, and if I was to have it, it would definitely have to be with a guy, but I'm not in any way attracted to the male... body?? It's kinda ick. So I don't know what's going on there. Like, it doesn't... I don't feel anything. Not anything positive, not anything negative, I just have no feelings whatsoever.

    3. Guys are still hot, I'd want to be in a relationship, I'd want it to eventually include you-know-what, but... yeah.

    So what is going on 💀

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    DJay
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds live you could be asexual hetroromantic. You have little to no interest in sex or find the idea if sex ick, but are romantically interested in the opposite gender. Being asexual doesn't mean you don't ever have sex, there are plenty of asexual people who have sex, just very very rarely. Have a read of the page here for more information https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Asexual

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    #44

    y'know how everyone who's famous in the lgbtqia+ community get erased? barring a few who are very open or that have obvious gayness (queer eye).
    what's y'all's opinion on it? i hate it, cuz one of my fave celebrities (billie joe Armstrong of green day) is seen as straight, even though he's bi.

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    Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, good old erasure /sarcasm. It's annoying as heck, especially with individuals that have been very open about it

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    #45

    I would like to understand how being non binary feels. Thank you.

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    Dodo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine standing in the middle of a room. There's a group of guys on one side, and a group of girls on the other. You're not sure which you're supposed to join because you don't perfectly relate to either 100% of the time. Society wants to push you to one of the sides, mostly the one that matches your genitals, and they think you're just trying to get attention when what you really want is to just be yourself.

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    #46

    Sorry if this has already been asked but if lets say you're a straight girl. You have a crush on a guy but then the guy comes out as trans and transitions to a girl. Are you still straight?

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    #47

    I'm having trouble differentiating between types of attraction, and there are a lot of complications. In addition to the possibilities of aesthetic, romantic, platonic, and sexual, it might also be gender envy or just my attachment issues. Also, I have different feelings for several different people, and some people I have multiple kinds of feelings about, but I can't figure out whats what.

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    lucy dale
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i cant really help out on the romantic/sexual attraction, but for me aesthetic attraction is just the combination of certain characteristics that appeals to you/thinking someone is particularly pretty, and platonic attraction is like, wanting to get and be close to someone but without the romance/sex

    #48

    Sometimes i feel like I might be bi. I've had romantic feelings for boys, but I feel like there's been times where I've liked girls. How exactly do I determine?

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    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess it's in your heart... did you feel like it was the same as liking Boys? Just let your heart guide you on this one, it'll tell you the truth along.

    #49

    why is there so many parts?

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    Sky Render
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I assume you want to know why we have so many letters. It's because sex, sexual preference, and gender are all much more complex than the simple "man or woman" dichotomy that dominates Western culture.

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    #50

    I am apart of the LQBTQ+ and have started to learn/explore about the types of tertiary attraction. My question is: What is the difference between friends-with-benifits and a queerplatonic relationship?

    I know there is some kind of difference. The idea of having friends-with-benifits is odd and not appealing for me, but I can see myself being in a queerplatonic relationship.

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    mysterious(all pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friends-With-Benefits is typically a friendship with sexual elements, and a Queer Platonic Relationship would be somewhere close to a friendship and a romance, with elements taken from both.

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    #51

    What is it like being a Trans man? I am a woman currently (birth) and I don't know what it's like. I have no interest in being Trans but I am curious!

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    crowspectre (he/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Painful and I wish I wasn't trans, especially with all of the constant transphobia around me. I've internalized a lot of it and it's made my mental health even worse. It's not all bad, though. Sometimes around my particularly supportive cis friends I forget that I'm trans and they've said they do too. I'm pretty tall and if I try, I pass as cis, but I don't care that much usually. People don't misgender me because I look like a girl, they misgender me because they want to attack me. Being trans is nice cause I have a perspective on gender that a lot of people don't have and it makes me understand human psychology better. I'm also in choir and I have a huge range for my choir (soprano-high tenor) and I really love my voice, it doesn't give me any dysphoria when I'm singing. All in all, it's mostly like being a cis man but with titties and transphobia

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    #52

    So respectfully, I've been with a few boys but I want to know what "counts" as "bi". Do I have to be attracted to ALL men and ALL women, or JUST SOME, and what percentage, etc?

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    Dodo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you feel like you could be intimate with a woman or a man, you're bi. Nobody is attracted to every single person on Earth so you just have to figure out your preferences.

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    #53

    For some reason, using the word 'queer' feels close to using the n-word for me, like it's a slur. I mean, I'm fine saying "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy" if talking about the show, but beyond that? It doesn't feel like it's interchangeable with
    LGBTQ+ for me to describe someone. So, maybe people here can help me out... How do you (as people who identify as LGBTQ+) feel about straight, cis people using the word? My hair stylist is this awesome woman who is gay, and as we were chatting, she used the word when talking about how I needed to find the people where I live now that are 'othered.' I'm atheist, which may be even less accepted where I'm living now than people identifying as LGBTQ+ because the community hasn't been exposed to many people saying it, although it doesn't lead to quite as violent of reactions. So, I tried using 'queer' in my response as well, but it just felt WRONG coming out of my mouth. I haven't seen her in a few years thanks to the pandemic and my immune system making travel a bad idea, but I haven't forgotten that odd feeling.

    And, if there is actually some difference between 'queer' and 'LGBTQ+', I'd love to know.

    (I grew up in a backwards place, where I'm sure I heard use of the word 'queer' in the kinds of hateful tones you hear from homophobes. I definitely heard 'gay' used as an insult, too - "What are you, gay?!" - but am not bothered saying it. There's just something to the word 'queer' that makes me feel like I'm demeaning a person, which is never my intent. So, I just avoid the word altogether, like how synonyms are also words used instead of words you can't spell.)

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    raccoon boy
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    queer is totally not a bad word, unless ofc its being used in a derogatory way. i use the term queer to refer to myself as i feel like it's more loose and defines me better than gay/bisexual ever could. and its perfectly fine to say 'the queer community' instead of 'LGBTQIA+' community. just my opinion, obviously i cant speak for the whole community but hope this helped!

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    #54

    ok, i'm bi, but i've never heard the term enby. i'm so sorry if i accidentally offend someone, but it seems...new and unused? yet again, i'm sorry, i'm still quite new to the lgbtqia+ community, but i've never heard it.

    kind regards, the cat overlord xoxo

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    Wise Turtle
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you say it, it’s pronounced like NB which stands for non binary in this case. Basically a spelled out abbreviation

    #55

    I have a question for the trans people out there:
    How/why did you decide to change gender? How did you tell the people in your’re life?

    Also, what does queer mean?

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    #56

    For the non binary folks: how does your identity fluctuates ? When your gender evolves, how does it work, is it a feeling / urge? How does identifying as male vs female work for you, if it evolves over a week. What does feeling like a male / female work.
    Genuine question, no hate, it's difficult for me to comprehend

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    Sora Desu
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m NB and I wouldn’t say it fluctuates at all. I am me and I just want to exist despite not feeling like either male or female. For me neither of those genders felt right, I felt in the outside but now I have a place and a name to how I feel

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