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I have recently been put into a impossible situation at work and can't see a good solution. I've been working the same office for more than a decade, in different roles. Last week I was advised that my position was being moved back to my old department under the previous managers I've had before. The last time I was in this department, the head of the department seemed to have a personal vendetta against me and made my life hell. He was one of those people who felt women had a specific role in the workplace and I didn't fit in that box. I was accused of sabotaging my co-worker because we were both on an upgrade project where I previously worked on the initial implementation and had all my original documentation so I had more knowledge of the ins and outs of what we were doing. When I learned the other person didn't, I made all my materials available to them and answered any questions they had. But, since I already knew most of the team and could answer things faster, people tended to come to me more, which made the other person angry and said I was purposely showing them up. FYI - in any other role before or after, I was never accused of not sharing information or refusing to help anyone, both on my teams and others. We once went to a meeting with outside vendors and this Manager, after seeing my casually chatting with someone I had met before, stood up in the meeting and told all the consultants that they should only be talking to the people he brought to the meeting (and not to me). I work closely with other teams and even once had a couple people on one of these teams come up to me to express their shock at this manager after having a meeting with them, when they brought up my name as someone who could help, he angrily disagreed and said under no circumstances should I be involved. When they told me, their words were "wow, he really hates you". I wasn't the only one who had issues with this Manager. When he first took over the team, there were 8 women, when I left only 2 remained and one of them left right after I did. Even when the team expanded, only men were hired. Two co-workers of mine filed complaints with HR about their treatment, nothing happened and a few months later they were both let go.
When I first tried to apply to other positions to leave the team after months of this kind of treatment, the Manager would block me at every turn by reaching out to the other department heads under the table (One I became friends with later told me). So, I finally got an offer to another team. After I left, he demanded all my materials be left with him, even text books I paid for to take courses. A friend that was still on my old team was going through a really rough time at home so I would check in on them by swinging by their desk to grab them and go out for quick walk, well within company guidelines. Once found them crying their eyes out at their desk and sat and chatted until they stopped. The Manager called my new Manager to say I was distracting their staff from working and I had to stop. All around, this Manager has just been awful. I was only able to stay under this Department Head for one year, and have been in my current team for six. The person who hired me is retired now, and my new Manager has decided to move me back. I had previously met with him and said I was concerned I would be moved back to my old team and didn't want to have that happen and he assured me it wouldn't.
A couple other points, where I live in Canada, the economy is struggling. There are very few companies in my small city (born and raised) and very limited options in my field. Due to the pandemic, I am supporting my parents and am the largest financial earner in my household. So, just resigning is extremely risky as we don't have enough in savings to make it through for very long right now.
I asked my current Manager if there were any other options for me to stay in my current team as I had concerns about moving back and was told no.
I tried setting up a call with HR, and they told me to just talk to my Manager and sent me a link to how to quit your job.
I can't get help from HR, they weren't interested in my initial communication and people who file complaints against this Manager lose their jobs and the Manager keeps getting promoted.
I'm stuck between a rock and hard place and don't see a way out. I have to move back under the power of a person who makes my life hell or walk away and risk the financial security.
Any advice?
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#1
I think it's best to take the risk and try to find a better job elsewhere, and while you're looking for it, just nod your head and try to stay in this work for as long as possible. The whole work culture seems endemically toxic, judging by what you described, it's not only about one manager. If you're tied to the town then it's harder, of course, but if you're not, maybe it's time to look for other places where work opportunities are more abundant. Either way, be confident in your decision and stick with it. Just my two cents.
Final score:
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#2
I’m sorry to say I too agree that it is time to look elsewhere. It feels very much to me that you may have outgrown this company.
Companies change over time, and that change is not always to the benefit of people who have worked long and hard to get them to where they are today. Sadly, your company is showing signs of reaching the point where individuals are now “just resources”.
The company - by the sounds of it - would not hesitate to make you redundant if it needed to save an amount of money that happened to match your salary. I think it is time you re-assessed your employer, and in a very clinical way.
Employment change is always difficult when there are people depending on you, especially when you are obviously a highly loyal person, and by the sounds, someone who takes their responsibilities very seriously.
Consider, however, what might happen if you are unable to prevent the transfer. It sounds to me like the security you need might disappear. Suddenly, and without warning if the manager has their way.
I think for the security of your family, as well as your own mental well-being, it is time to *plan* a move. You can always look, and only move when and if your circumstances tell you it is the right time. Receiving job offers doesn’t mean you have to accept them.
From your tale, it seems you have a great working relationship with other companies - clients and/or competitors. There is no harm in reaching out, judiciously, to trusted contacts.
But, as the manager does sound volatile, please make sure any and all enquiries you do make are handled with the utmost secrecy. And please, do remember that if the company decided it needed to make you redundant, it would (most likely) only provide you with the legal bare minimum in notice and benefits. Make sure you are willing to offer them the same courtesy, but no more, if it came to needing to accept an offer elsewhere.
You will be much better off being able to plan your move and go on your terms than having your confidence, health and possibly reputation harmed by working with this manager long-term. Good luck - and hopefully your next position will give you a home for just as long as this one has.
Final score:
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#3
Break out any employee handbook, contract anything you have that has the rules and regulations of the company and make sure you have the most updated one. Most companies have an ability to report Ethics Violations. First off you're gonna need to figure out what the company ethical code is. That's where the employee handbook/contract/etc. comes in.
Next step is can you prove it? Partly you can in the rate of female to male ratio in that department. The rest would be up to you, like the books you bought that he said you had to leave. Find your receipts if you have them.
Next step - will anyone else come forward? If not it's okay, it just makes a stronger case.
Report him. The three big things most companies take seriously are: Sexual Harassment, Hostile work environment, and Ethics Violations - not in that particular order - because those three things have a tendency to create things like ✨ Lawsuits ✨ and ✨ bad press ✨ which hurt the companies image.
Technically this would also classify as a hostile work environment but you'll need more backup on that one, it's harder for just one person to report.
Yes, you run the risk of losing your job and from everything you've said it's important. However, compliance keeps people on similar situations to your own down because no one speaks up. It's terrifying to be the one to do it, you may not be able to do it because of how much you're relied on.
If you do something like this get as much together as you can, that will ultimately aid you the most. Most companies rely heavily on their brand and image as a company, so they'll scrutinize any risk to that image including you.
Final score:
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