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Hey Pandas, AITA For Snitching On A ‘Friend’ For Being Homophobic? (Closed)

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I'm "friends" with this kid in social studies class who when we were working on a project, noticed my pride pin.

"Oh, you're still doing that whole lesbian thing. How about you stop being a gay loser and join the rest of us in the real world?" That is what he said to me, and it stung. I raised my hand and asked the teacher to move me, which she did, and when I told her why, the kid got sent to the office. I think I'm TA because we're buddies and he probably didn't mean it. But on the other hand, it felt like an attack.

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#1

The "real world" is full of people of all genders, sexual preferences, colours, intelligence, etc. I don't think you're an a$$hole at all. Of course it felt horrible and I hope this never happens again. It might be a good idea to have a good talk as this is your friend. You be YOU and I'm sending a hug.

Final score:

25points

Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

YES

9points

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#2

NTA. I'm glad you told the teacher. If you hadn't did that he would think it is acceptable to be homophobic. It would be good for him if he improves. Also buddies don't hate , they elevate. Your buddie should lift you up not make you feel hurt.

Final score:

15points

Chuckle Demon 19

#3

HARD NTA. As a retired teacher myself, I'd have moved the person who said this to you, allowed you to keep your seat, then pursued the most I could against the child who said this: phone call home, parent conference, write-up to dean of discipline for hate speech, conversation with the kid. Let the kid know that what they said NOT remotely okay in any known universe, and there are consequences.

Final score:

11points

Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

YES

7points

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#4

NTA, even if it was a joke, you don’t make jokes like that. If he tries to apologise, let him but mention that jokes like that aren’t funny.

Final score:

9points

Autistic apricot

#5

NTA. He said something mean. You didn't want to deal with that. Maybe try talking to them, and hey it's possible he really did not mean it! But he still acted in a homophobic way without thinking. He still said what he said and needs to think about it.

Final score:

7points

Error 404 (He/They)

Sarah Monk 2 years ago

Even if he ‘did not really mean it’ it is still homophobic, a friend accepts you as you are whether they agree with all that you are or not I have friends and we have disagreeing views but we respect each other and still protect each other’s right to have those views. Not all of my friends are from my relic. Or culture but none of us are disrespectful, friendsarent

2points

#6

NTA whatsoever. You did the right thing.

Final score:

7points

#7

NTA.As a mother of a Pan dating a transgender person I have heard a lot of these "jokes ".I always ask for the joke to be explained .I never get it so they have to keep explaining until they shut up. Sexual orientation is no one else's business and not a joke

Final score:

7points

Anonymous Panda She/Her/Hers 2 years ago

Upvoteing for the no one else's business thing. People need to understand that there are things we won't be able to understand and we need to just accept that and move on.

4points

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#8

NTA. he said something insulting and it made you uncomfortable. You had every right to tell the teacher. Your friend will one day need to grow up and realize that people different from him exist

Final score:

6points

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#9

NTA. That is not something to joke about. That also sounds like one of those "jokes" that get made that is exactly how they feel but when you're offended they gaslight you by saying they were just joking.

You felt attacked. That's it. That's all. You are allowed to act on that. You are allowed to feel what you feel. He can survive a trip to the principal. He needs to learn a lesson.

Final score:

5points

Lizard Queen 1 year ago

This.

1point

#10

NTA. Put it this way. If you have to put "friend" in quotes like that. he ain't your friend.

Final score:

5points

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#11

Yeah, no. NTA, and your “friend” can stick his head up a rat’s a*s (seems like his brain is small enough to fit). It was absolutely an attack and he absolutely meant it. Dump him.

Final score:

5points

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism

#12

NTA

Nobody jokes about that unless they are homophobic, and nobody means it unless they are homophobic.

Final score:

5points

Happi doggi (all pronouns)

#13

NTA
He was definitely being rude and a jerk. Tell his buddies that it didn't matter if he meant it or not it still HURT YOU and that's what matters

Final score:

4points

Chickens are fluffy

#14

Nta “friend” was being an a*****e and a bad friend.
Hope things get better at your school

Final score:

3points

Nathanael aka the American one

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#15

You are not an (insert a word, I don’t want to get downvoted) because, that dude should’ve stopped, and got a lesson. Like the real world has a LOT of diverse kinds of people ♥️ he should learn that though.

Final score:

3points

G҉A҉C҉H҉A҉ A҉L҉E҉X҉

G҉A҉C҉H҉A҉ A҉L҉E҉X҉ (Submission author) 2 years ago

No you are an awesome person!

2points

#16

NTA. Being homophobic is not okay.

Final score:

3points

green penguin / isabelle

Lizard Queen 1 year ago

Yes. And even if it was a "JoKe" It was still offensive, disrespectful, and harmful.

4points

#17

As a fellow gay person 1. I'm sorry this happened to you 2. You weren't wrong you did the right thing because in the world we live in now nobody should hide how they feel and if they don't hide it good because then people will have to learn to accept us and they can't change us so no what you did was the right thing I would have done the same thing!🏳️‍🌈

Final score:

3points

Jtheslay (he/them)

#18

NTA, you are who you are , and your "friend" was an absolute ahole. i hope your alright, and that the teacher did move your spot

Final score:

3points

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#19

You’re definitely not the a*****e here. Some people are going to be rude about things like this but they’re not right. You were for telling the teacher, because belittling brats like your “friend” are causing so much pain in the LQBTQ+ community.

Final score:

3points

️‍ saturn the furry (she/they)

#20

NTA. Even as a joke, it’s hurtful.

Final score:

3points

Bubblegum Witch

#21

nta obviously

Final score:

3points

#22

There was once a young boy who had pet dog that he loved with all his heart. One day, his best friend urinated on his dog.
The boy told his parents and his friend got in trouble. The boy felt bad because his friend got in trouble. He sat in his room feeling sad. After a while his dog came and comforted him and made him feel better.

NTA. Your "Friend" was pissing on something you care about and faced the consequences. Don't feel bad for them.

It is possible to be friends with someone that holds completely different opinions and beliefs, but when those opinions get them into trouble, it's down to them to deal with it and be accountable for.
My best friend and I have very different opinions on things like sexuality, immigration, welfare, and so on. All those beliefs, despite our next closest friend being a gay immigrant!
I told him once that I would kill for him, but I wouldn't die for him. Does that make sense?

Final score:

2points

Your Average Lesbian 2 years ago

Honestly I love the way you write this comment. And thank you, by the way.

2points

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#23

NTA but that FrIeNd of yours is.

Final score:

2points

Jahnavi Rekhapalli

#24

He’s the one who needs to stop being a loser and join the rest of us in the real world

Final score:

2points

Goth Mouse (he/they)

#25

NTA. That is not your friend. Friends don’t put each other down. Ditch him. Don’t look back or feel bad. Hope things work out for you

Final score:

2points

Artistic Cat (he him)

#26

NTA. Your "friend" said something to hurt you. Idk if he was raised like that or is an a*****e on his own, but get away.

Final score:

2points

ForThePeople he/him

Your Average Lesbian 2 years ago

Why did someone downvote you? I fixed it.

3points

#27

NTA. And oh the irony... Did the guy sleep through the class? Cause he definitely has misunderstood the meanings of Society and the diversities society involves.

He was rude and hurt your feelings. You have every right to feel the way you feel and you acted right by asking to change seats. Time for the guy to learn that some topics are not socially acceptable as jokes. Cuddos to you for standing up for yourself. Stick to real friends that accept you as you are without judging things like your sexual orientation.

Final score:

2points

Your Average Lesbian 2 years ago

Why'd someone downvote you? Here lemme fix that.

3points

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#28

OH HELL NO!! NTA. Even if it WAS a joke,that's an awful joke to make. Joking at someone else's expense is hurtful. And if it's just played off as a joke when they meant it,that will cause a lot more problems

Final score:

2points

#29

Definitely NTA, if they're upset that they got "tattled" on they would've known what they were doing something wrong.

Final score:

2points

#30

That…doesnt sound like a joke. Just sounds super homophobic. NTA at all

Final score:

2points

#31

NTA, It's literally people like that that make others feel horrible in their own skin (my family would always say it was just a stupid phase and I should just get a boyfriend) it really doesn't matter if it's a joke, as it's something that shouldn;t be joked about like that in general.. I really hope it doesn't happen again.

Final score:

2points

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#32

Don't you DARE think that!!!!! There is LITERALLY NO POSSIBLE WAY you're the a*****e here. You didn't "snitch", either, since snitching is when you tattle about something that's not harmful. That was harmful. And what does this kid know about the REAL WORLD anyway? If he's gonna be a HOMOPHOBIC LOSER, you don't need to be his buddy. Who would do that to their friend anyway?

Final score:

2points

#33

NTA, you did the right thing and I hope that he comes around and improves himself. Otherwise, I'll infiltrate his house and rub cinnamon into all the couch cushions so he smells like Christmas year-round.

Final score:

2points

Dodo 2 years ago

Dude, that's not a punishment

0points

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#34

NTA

Final score:

2points

#35

NTA. It's hard enough being a teenager without your friends being jerks. I would have done the same thing when I was a teen. Now, as an old Boomer, if someone says or does something that rubs me the wrong way I will say to them, "I'm asking you nicely not to say/do/call me that." Recently someone was joking around, giving me a hard time which I'm normally ok with but this time I said, "you know, that's not anywhere near as funny as you think it is." He dropped it and there were no hard feelings.

Final score:

2points

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#36

ABSOLUTLY N. T. A. As a young girl who has a gf, i get it. The looks, comments. He obviously has no idea what hes talking about, "join the real world" like hun no YOU join the real world where you can love who ever you want.

Final score:

2points

Just A Bagel :3

Sarah Monk 2 years ago

Well said, as an old girl who doesn’t have a girlfriend, I’m heterosexual lol and 68 I think you should never suffer disrespect, you are to be valued and are not unworthy nor are you a ‘joke’ even from a so called friend. Well done for being strong enough and brave enough to deal with this sort of disgusting behaviour, I hope you have a lot more peaceful times ahead x

3points

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#37

NTA, girl. NTA. If I was there, tho, he would have suffered a punch to the nose. good job, anyway

Final score:

1point

Pansexual Child of Hades

#38

NTA. You stood up for yourself because the other kid was being a jerk. He was being a homophobe and was trying to make you feel like being gay is some kind of disability (sorry if that is not the right wording). NTA. Good job!

Final score:

1point

that one ace lesbian genderfae

#39

NTA. What they said was really out of pocket.

Final score:

0points

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#40

Probably an unpopular opinion but you're not going to make a difference putting people on blast. Throughout my life I've been very good friends with people who have been homophobic, ableist (funny because I'm disabled in a leg from the army) racist and so on. Point being if they are willing to be friends with you despite you not having their extreme opinions you have an opportunity. Nobody can be saved by being harassed (yes I know they probably harass people with their extreme beliefs). It has not happened often, but I can say I've helped mend people who have these hateful pasts simply by being kind to them despite them not being kind to others. You're not going to change the world by hating the haters. It takes listening, patience, and understanding. Everybody says nobody is born racist right? So listen to them and understand. Something has made them think that way. Do you really think you're going to help them by belittling them? That's the same as them. They think they can convert you by harassing you.

Final score:

-4points

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Gabrielė Malukaitė

Hi there! I'm Gabrielė, but you can also catch me responding to Gab, Gabi, Gabert, or Gabe – take your pick. Professionally, I'm the senior community manager over at Bored Panda, helping people share their awesome work and connecting artists with a worldwide audience. Beyond work, you'll catch me traveling, listening to vinyl and diving into movies, art exhibitions, and concerts. I'm a culture buff at heart, always eager to explore and embrace the richness of the human experience.

Hi there! I'm Gabrielė, but you can also catch me responding to Gab, Gabi, Gabert, or Gabe – take your pick. Professionally, I'm the senior community manager over at Bored Panda, helping people share their awesome work and connecting artists with a worldwide audience. Beyond work, you'll catch me traveling, listening to vinyl and diving into movies, art exhibitions, and concerts. I'm a culture buff at heart, always eager to explore and embrace the richness of the human experience.

What do you think ?

Your Average Lesbian (Post author) 2 years ago

Ahhh! This post BLEW UP! Thank you so much for all the support! 1k views? Thank you. I've dumped this "friend" and blocked him.

3points

lapis lazuli 2 years ago

NTA whatsoever. you did the right thing.

3points

Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

I hate it when people say b.s. like this. You are valid and you do not deserve to be treated like sh!t by a former buddy (or ANYONE). "Snitch" anytime. It is NEVER right to treat an LGBTQ+ person like sh!t. EVER.

2points

Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago

Unless, they are a s**t.

1point

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Your Average Lesbian (Post author) 2 years ago

Ahhh! This post BLEW UP! Thank you so much for all the support! 1k views? Thank you. I've dumped this "friend" and blocked him.

3points

lapis lazuli 2 years ago

NTA whatsoever. you did the right thing.

3points

Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

I hate it when people say b.s. like this. You are valid and you do not deserve to be treated like sh!t by a former buddy (or ANYONE). "Snitch" anytime. It is NEVER right to treat an LGBTQ+ person like sh!t. EVER.

2points

Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago

Unless, they are a s**t.

1point

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