Companies call it "reasonable accommodation" for employees with children. I personally do not agree with special treatment for people just because they have children.

Just to illustrate how this treatment has an huge impact on those of us without children, here is what happened to me when I got hired for a job 8 years ago, including the actual cost to me. I was told by this company that all software engineers were brought in on a 6 month contract to hire basis, which was fine. They very next person they brought in refused to accept their offer unless he was brought in as a direct hire. He had small children and "couldn't be without health insurance for that long". They agreed. Just a side note, this person had worked with me at my last job and followed me to the new place.

At the end of my 6 month contract, I calculated what I gave up that this person didn't have to. Unpaid overtime, PTO, 401k match, bonuses, etc were all included. I didn't include things that you couldn't monetize, like health insurance. This company was odd in that the software engineers punched a time clock and got paid for all hours worked, but on contract you only got paid 40 hours even though I still had to punch the time clock. For just the 6 months of my contract, I gave up over $14,000 in direct and indirect pay. All because I didn't have children as leverage.

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David Houde

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Kate Jones

Kate Jones

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2 years ago

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it reminds me a little of smokers getting to go take a 5 minute break every few hours, meanwhile no one else gets that courtesy. your addiction shouldn't give you more benefits. i get that smokers have nicotine fits and need a cig every once in a while, but maybe i need a drink and want to go outside, too. so the rules should be the same for everyone. you having kids shouldn't give you more rights than me. I shouldn't have to work all the holidays because my time is somehow less valuable than yours. it's really an unfair bias in some cases.

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I was a manager for a long time. Being late occasionally is no big deal to anyone. Having kids makes things more complicated and stuff happens sometimes. But most people have figured out how to manage this on a regular basis. It's the people who are late habitually who are the biggest problem. They are also the most rude about it. It's always someone who's late every other day who casually walks in with a Starbucks and, if they bother apologizing at all, it's always some half-assed apology. If you question them, they always look at you like, 'what was I supposed to do? NOT go to Starbucks and get my drink?' YES. Why is this so hard to understand? When you're late, you have to give up the extra stops. I had a guy who was late every single morning and when I started writing him up, he always blamed it on traffic. But he always managed to stop and get McDonald's on the way in. Then when he got there, there’s no sense of hurrying up because he knows he’s in the wrong. It takes him 10 minutes to tuck in his shirt and put his phone away and get on the floor. Well, if you're late 10 minutes every day, at what point do you finally figure out you need to leave 15 minutes earlier to be on time? Tardiness is the rudest thing. If you have crotch goblins, congratulations- you had sex and gave birth to them. It isn't your boss's fault, your co-worker's fault, or anyone else's fault that you still haven't figured out how to get up earlier or get things done in a timely manner.

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Kate Jones

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Being late for any reason on a constant basis wouldn't fly for a lot of companies. Despite what the mom's at your job are doing, you purposely making yourself late is going against your employment record there and cheating yourself out of the wages you'd be earning if you showed up on time.

Don't pay any mind to what your coworkers are doing. Let that be the companies problem to deal with. You don't know what kind of deal the moms have with the business to allow them to come in late. They could be staying late, doing extra work at home, coming in the weekend for an hour or so.
Even if nothing is being done about it, it's still not your problem and meddling where you don't need to meddle can get you in bigger trouble.

Just keep doing your work, come in on time and if an opportunity arises to advance at your job you'll be a strong candidate.

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LagoonaBlueColleen

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As long as they have the same time off as others, and they choose to use it for their kids, then I have no problem with it. However, those who get this time free, it is not fair to everyone else. I understand the dilemma they are in, and they cannot prevent a sick child, and other issues from popping up. They can either schedule their work time to be less than 40/week and get paid for that shorter schedule. This is especially hard on single parents.

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bumble bee

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I can understand being irritated at co-workers constantly coming in late but they may have permission to do so. Should it interfere with your ability to do your job then you need to express this to your supervisor.

While I was a single mom to 3 ages 5, 4, & 2 and I had to start work 30 minutes later than my co-workers because I had to drop my boys off at preschool and elementary school. I prearranged this with my supervisor so there wouldn't be any conflict. My 5 & 4 played little league and practices and games were after school so there was no conflict there. Nor was there as they grew and got into other sports.

Having said that I don't think parents should keep taking time from work to attend their child's extracurricular activities. If the activities interfere with work either the job or the extracurriculars need to go.

You driving 45 minutes to work was your choice and has no bearing or comparison to your co-workers coming in late.

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The Mom

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I'm surprised that your company actually allows this. Most companies don't want to believe you have a life outside of your job, and might let you slide once every few months for coming in late bc of something to do with your child. But every day? At my sister's old job, she couldn't even get out of work ON TIME to get her Autistic son to his therapy. I think you're only kind of the AH, bc from what you're saying, it's only the one coworker that you know of that is using her kid as an excuse to come in late, but not actually taking her kid anywhere like she claims. If a boss starts questioning you, it could ruin it for the other mothers that genuinely need to come in a little late for their kids. Oh, and the coworker abusing it is definitely TAH.

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Christina T

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