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Happy pride month!!! How did you come out of the closet? Or, if you haven't yet, how are you planning to? If you ever come out. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE KIND!!!
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#1
I met my dad for the first time since I was little when I was 15, and I went to live with him to escape a bad situation with no idea what he'd be like. My mom had called ahead to tell him all sorts of "bad" (mostly inaccurate) things about me, that I was into partying and drugs, that I was super promiscuous, etc.
My dad was driving me back to the airport and tried to tackle these subjects, then got to the promiscuity bit, and tried to give me some sort of safe sex talk, and boys think like this or that talk. It was excruciatingly awkward and I finally just shouted, "OMG no, just stop! I'm gay! A lesbian! There are no boys!"
My dad yanked his steering wheel over, crossed 4 lanes of traffic, hopped out of the truck, and did the snoopy dance on the side of the road. Then he got back in the truck and told me it was the happiest day of his life.
It's been 20 years and he was always my staunchest supporter. When I came out as trans/non binary recently, he took it in stride like I knew he would. He didn't have the vocab for it, but he'd been using masculine and feminine pronouns and descriptions for me interchangeably ever since he first took me shopping when I was 15 and I bought only boys clothes and underwear, then promptly went home and cut off most of my hair.
Everyone else in my life looked/looks at me and sees who they expect or want to see, but he always just saw *me*.
Final score:
98points
Ray Arani (Submission author) 2 years ago
Also told my dad I was ace/aro and we had a long conversation about what it meant and he actually really related to my experience of asexuality. He's a hopeless romantic though, it's adorable.
RELATED:
#2
I simply brought my girlfriend home and introduced her as such. Then took her to my room and closed the door. That was it.
Final score:
92points
#3
I actually told my mom i was attracted to "everyone pretty" when i was like six and she was basically "cool."
By the way i'm pan
Final score:
81points
#4
LOL! I realized I was gay onstage at an improv show when the logical next thing to say in the scene was "...because I'm in love with you!" In the next second, I realized 1) I *was* in love with her (2) I couldn't say that line because then everyone would know & (3) came up with another line that made sense but was lame.
I talked to her about it, realized she also like me and we started going out. It made it easy to come out to my friends and family by introducing her as my girlfriend.
Soon, I did standup for Queer Women Night and it was listed in the paper as such with our names. I and my friends found it funny. The venue's owner put this in his act with my blessing with the tagline "Well, I guess I'm out."
However, my workplace was an intolerant bro club. I got tired of hearing stupid stereotypes being thrown around. I started wearing a pride flag pin on my jacket and referred to my girlfriend as others would talk about their spouses and partners.
I did this to bust lesbian stereotypes both in and out of the gay community. I have long hair (reaction to a hated pixie cut when I was 6) and don't look like a stereotype. By being out, I gave people the choice of choosing the stereotype or choosing what they knew of me as a person. I loved watching the "Wait..what? You're gay?" reaction as their cherished stereotypes were busted.
I now refer to my wife in business meetings as others do their spouses and partners. It is a awesome change from where the world was when I realized I was gay onstage.
Final score:
72points
#5
I bought a rainbow scarf from a street vendor on a middle school trip. I'd made a mental note to hide it from my mom when I got back, because I was worried about what she'd say. I happily wore the scarf during the trip, but hid it in my pocket before my mom picked me up. At home, though, I forgot about the scarf and put my pants in the hamper, scarf inside. The next day, I found the scarf neatly folded on my bed, in the shape of a heart. That was how I knew she was ok with it. I love my mom :)
Final score:
70points
#6
i havent yet come out, just wanted to wish everyone happy pride!!🌈🏳🌈
Final score:
66points
Madeleine Flowers 2 years ago
Happy Pride, and I love your username! (I've watched the show, and that joke is hilarious)
#7
my dad found out i had a gf and told me to break up with her. Then sat and lectured me abt how it was wrong. I hope all you pandas have a great coming-out and never experience mine!
Final score:
65points
#8
I came out in 1983 at 12 years old, at the beginning of the AIDS crisis and when the social stigma & bigotry was rampant. I was much more lucky than most, because I grew up in San Francisco in Eureka Valley, which the Castro is part of. Most of our neighbors were m/m couples and I had about 50 “uncles” or family friends. My mother was a charge nurse for the AIDS ward. Because of union rules & lack of understanding of the disease, nurses to custodians had to volunteer and couldn’t be made to. My brothers, friends and other shops it’s employees families took care of the cleaning of the ward (think huge room with 100 beds separated by curtains) and visiting with patients. Several we knew from ‘hood.
I didn’t come fro ma conservative family or environment, but no one wished or reveled on me coming out because the immediate fears were AIDS & “fåg-bashing.” My naive understanding at the time of what “gay” meant was all stereotype. Queens & drag queens & clones. I somehow didn’t equate my attraction to other boys as gay or queer. I just thought I liked buys and I never hid it. I had a boyfriend and we were glued to each other’s side. About a year into our relationship we were at a skate park and some girls were chatting us up. I was clueless, but my bf knew they were hitting on us. He said, “you know we’re gay, right?” and it rang/echoed in my head. It was a cathartic moment for me to realize my attraction solely to guys and my relationship was what “gay” meant and what I was. Not the tank tops and short shorts or the campy attitude I knew from so many.
I had a massive paradigm shift that destroyed my aloofness and realized so very much that I seemed to overlook about myself & my community.
That night, all 12 of us were camped out in the family room eating pizza and watching tv. My 5 brothers, each of their best friends and my two sisters (who were actually my friends and lived with us because of family issues) and I asked my folks to join us. I said I had to make a big announcement.
I stood up and said, “just so you all know. I’m gay and Jason is my boyfriend.”
Pretty much everyone responded with joking laughs or “duh.” I said, “so wait, you all know?” & my 8yo brother said, “Hello! We live with you.”
My stepfather pondered whether we’d ever openly talked about it. He assumed we had. It was obvious. A given. While my mother was happy I felt ok to say it, but mostly that I was being less introverted and quiet about myself.
I know how privilege, blessed and lucky I was. Because SF has been a Mecca for queer kids for decades. In the 80s, LGBTQ+ homeless youth were everywhere and I made friends with plenty. My parents had a foster license because of their jobs and they adopted one of my brothers. During my teens we had 11 queer foster siblings, three which lived with us to adulthood & are part of our family.
I’ve sat witness to the horrors and abuse so many queer youth has to escape. I’ve seen the suicide ideation. The self-medication. The self-harm or reckless behavior. The lack of resources, agency, access.
I had it easy.
These kids, the ones before them & the ones before them are the shoulders that todays queer youth stand on. They’re the ones that first fought to survive and fought for visibility, representation & inclusion. You know, the fight we still have to fight today.
Final score:
58points
Manatee Mermaid 2 years ago
Your family dynamics sounds great! I would hope that every kid grows up with so much love.
#9
I was actually outed by someone in middle school as bi. I later came out as Pan like a year later. Whatever you do DONT OUT SOMEONE!!!!!!!!! People find other gay people and say "she goes both ways. You guys should date" it sucks don't it. Please? Happy pride and sorry for the sad story. Also, MAKE MORE PRIDE FLAG EMOJIS!!!!!!!!!!
Final score:
56points
#10
I wrote a letter telling my parents that I am pansexual. It worked out surprisingly well!
🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ happy pride!
Final score:
49points
#11
A little background...my Mum died when I was young and there just wasn't much in the way of childcare in the early 70's. So school nights I would live with an Aunt, weekends my Dad, so he could work. We always had a big family lunch on Sundays. So I figured it was the perfect time to come out, y'no do it just the once to the whole family. I kinda stuttered that I was going to move in with my girlfriend, because, you know, she's more than a friend. My Dad put down his knife and fork and looked straight at me and then said pass the potato's love. I was dumbfounded, I assumed he must not have heard me. I started to repeat myself when he interupted and said, do you need anything, furniture, white goods, bed? Never actually said he was fine with it, just found a way to show he was fine with it. My Dad folks, was a fine man, GRHS.
Final score:
46points
Manatee Mermaid 2 years ago
I love that you knew he supported you even if he didn't have the words. His actions speak loudly! I would love a world like this where sexuality isn't a big deal and just another thing about who we are.
#12
I straight up ( pun intended)told my mom out of the blue that I was bi. She said good for you and told me to get back to my homework.
Final score:
45points
#13
I only told my parents about a year ago that I'm bisexual, having some boyfriends and dates in the past. I just never felt right, a lot of my life choices were disapproved by (some) of my family.
A lot of my friends knew already for years actually.
But now here I am, 37 years old, bisexual, currently in a polyamoric relationship with 2 nice ladies. Proudly being myself, wearing my neon nail polish daily.
I don't want it to be a secret anymore, my parents reacted indifferent I think, it was not clear. They are both bad in communication and having autism prevents me from reading their body language correctly.
Happy pride month all!
Final score:
44points
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 2 years ago
Plot twist : they are in the team : parents knew all along and just want you to be happy. For all i know they're proud of you and happy.
#14
snapped one day and sent a google doc to my entire family and all the staff at my school coming out as trans
Final score:
43points
#15
I texted them I was a lesbian... And they still ask if I have a bf... T-T
Final score:
42points
#16
I put a sign on my bedroom door that said I was bisexual and asexual. 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 Happy pride!!
Final score:
41points
#17
I told my mom while we were making dinner that I'm nonbinary and pan. She joked its alright as long as if I'm not going to marry a lizard... cause it will be difficult to find a wedding dress for one lmao 🤣
Final score:
40points
#18
I let "He" slip out when talking about a date I had around my Father, I usually say "She", My Father said "WHAT!" I now live happily with my Husband on the other side of the country.
Final score:
34points
#19
I sort of got addicted to the men's underwear catalog with all the hot men, and I thought, "I want someone like them when I marry". That's how I figured out I was gay.
I came out when I had fallen in love with my best friend, but they seemed to have already known that.
Note: I've gotten over being in love with my best friend.
Final score:
33points
#20
I had been begging for a short haircut. My dad told me that if I cut my hair like that people might think I'm trans. Then he asked me if a was trans. I knew they were transphobic but I thought maybe they'd support me since I'm their kid so I said yes. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. My parents were so mad. They told me I didn't know what I was talking about, faking it for attention, I can't change my gender because it's "basic biology", and even threatened to send me to a private Catholic school to "fix me." Scared me right back into the closet. I have an amazing group of supportive friends though and I'm cutting off contact with my parents as soon as I turn 18. I still don't have a haircut I like either :(
Final score:
31points
#21
I never did. I believe that sexuality is a continuous and not categories and people might move in that scale. I prefer men but sometimes feel atracted to women. As I only dated two people and they were both men my family and most people considers me hetero. If i would ever date a woman I would just introduce her. But I do not think that its something to reveal, just part of me.
Final score:
29points
#22
just started wearing things with the ace flag until they noticed and asked me about it
Final score:
29points
#23
I simply sat down on the couch with my mom and said "Mom I have something to tell you. I think I'm bisexual." (I knew I was, I just have a habit of saying I think when I dont know how people will react) She completely supported me! I ended up texting my dad and ik this is dumb, but I said, ''I'm bi,now bye". But he supported me too! I think my grandma knows, my aunt knows, and all of my friends know.
Final score:
29points
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
Lovely and a bit funny as well. Especially the “I’m bi, bye” part
#24
I didn't. It was actually my little sister. She told my entire family about my girlfriend and how I was pansexual (they were all very supportive!).
Final score:
29points
Will sell soul for corn chip 2 years ago
yikes opn a scale of 1-10 how mad was at her for tattleing? Glad your fam is supportive tho lol
#25
My brother yelled "YOU'RE GAY" at me and I yelled back "I KNOW A**HOLE".
I'm pansexual so now he just makes jokes about how I'm attracted to frying pans. Super original bro.
Final score:
29points
PeachyPenguin 2 years ago
lol when i told my friend i was pan they said " i have a really hot single frying pan in my cabinet? blind date?
#26
I came out as a trans female to my dad during an argument 2 years ago. He screamed at me for it bc I was "his son". Fast forward to today, he doesn't really understand or get it, but is definitely a lot more supportive than he originally was, and I'm glad my mom has been supportive the whole way. I hope everyone has a happy pride month!
Final score:
28points
#27
I've got multiple answers as I've had multiple revelations about myself over the years. First was as a teenager. My brother had come out, my mom and I were all, "yeah we know," everyone was super accepting, I added "I actually think Im bi too" and there it comes, from accepting of my brother's gayness immediately to bi-erasure. Mom said, "you like guys too much, you'll get over it" like being attracted to men and women isn't valid. And then... 20 years of not a lot of effort put into dating and an absolute repulsion of kissing later, I'm in my 30s now, and I learn, asexuality is a thing, and a spectrum, and I find a name for how I feel about people. Kiss adverse, panromantic, asexual. Unfortunately, the mother who was so quick to get into bi-erasure the first time is gone, I loved her dearly. My father just nodded, my friends were like, "That explains a lot." my life is easier now that I know what I want in a partner.
Final score:
26points
Kenny Earthling 2 years ago
I had experiences with bi-erasure too! One woman I met even said "you know you'll have to pick a side one day" I eventually realised that I prefer the label "queer" but I did go through a phase calling myself "homo flexible" lol
#28
I haven't done it just but honestly I want to just text them or something
Final score:
23points
#29
I told my mum on January 1st, after we were talking about conversion therapy. Said I was ace.
Final score:
23points
Annabeth Chase (Submission author) 2 years ago
She was supportive, but I haven't told my dad yet. Told my friends by showing them the ace flag on an iPad
#30
My brother said he liked women so I said that's one thing we have in common and ran to my room
Final score:
23points
#31
Well, since I like art I decided to draw a pan-da :) It was a panda but it had pansexual colors in it “pink, yellow, blue” and I wrote a letter about my sexuality and gave it to my mom!
Final score:
21points
#32
On June 1st, I drew a pan flag on my face and wore yellow, pink, and blue beads. My little brother did the same with bi colors. We were sick of hiding and we didn't anymore.
Final score:
21points
#33
My (now) husband and I had been dating for about 2 months when I announced I was flying home for the holidays. He asked if he could come, and I of course said yes - but we'd have to pretend to be "friends" as I was not out to my parents yet. Well... we arrived on Christmas Eve and my uncle had a heart attack and died that night. Cue all the family drama. Two nights later, I was sneaking back into my bedroom from the guest room where my then-boyfriend was sleeping when my mom switched on the light in the living room where she was waiting for me and asked super-dramatically, "is he your LOVER?" Shocked, I admitted he was and we had our required Lifetime Movie moment. I'm very lucky that my entire family has welcomed my hubby and has been super supportive.
Final score:
19points
#34
I came out as ace to my family in a game of Two Truths and a Lie. My mom said it was "probably just a phase" but is fairly supportive. A few years later she asked me in the car about my labels and I told her about my gender. I never really came out to my friends, it just came up in conversation and nobody cared. Side note, why do people never see the "they" part of she/they pronouns?
Final score:
18points
That nerd Zoe ️🇺🇦️ 2 years ago
Usually if I know someone who is she/they but came out after we were friends and used to go by she/her I accidentally use she/her too much but I'm trying not to do that lol
#35
Hey guys I’m still young and havent identified myself but for those who have or haven’t stand tall and be proud!!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Final score:
17points
#36
Yep it's me again. I couldn't edit mine so here's the added part.
I'm now a gender fluid lesbian and none of my parents know. Neither does my cousin or my ex.
Final score:
16points
#37
Don't know if this counts, the thing is I have trans flags as wallpapers in my phone 'cause I thought it would be a silly and silent way to come out but then realized that would never happen. Well, just this wednesday during lunch one of my classmates came to me and asked in her most little voice "I saw your wallpaper by accident but since, how should I call you? Like, what are your pronouns?" And then I just spoke out my name and pronouns for the first time and now I'm so proud of her for being so nice about it 💖🏳️🌈
Final score:
16points
•The Comic Hero• (Submission author) 2 years ago
I also wrote a letter with drawings and everything to really really come out, I'm deciding a day of the month to finally show it to my family
#38
(trigger warning) Well, it was around 8:34pm, so nighttime. (During the moment I came out) my dad was leaving to go pick up a KFC order, since my mom didn't feel like making dinner. So, I asked to come along. I was feeling cooped up and frankly on the edge of yet another panic attack. I just needed some fresh air. As I was getting dressed I remember having a passing thought, that this would be a perfect opportunity to come out to my dad. I only had that thought because I had just come out to an online friend, who happened to also be Muslim. If I didn't get a positive response I wouldn't have been bold enough to even think of it. And the only reason I even told my online friend was because I was going to *attempt* to kill myself later that week. That was the plan, anyways. I was on an adrenaline high, which is why I thought about it. So fast forward, we get in the car and at some point I start really considering telling my dad. (Keep in mind, my relationship with him at the time was very distant, but my relationship with my mom was downright toxic.) Since I was going to attempt anyways, I thought it wouldn't even matter. It was a last resort type of thing. I didn't actually plan on coming out, the thought came up and eventually I just burst into tears thinking about how my dad could react. So I clutched my phone, (in case he decided to kick me out of the car or something) and asked him to pull over. At this point I was sobbing hysterically and he knew something was up. So we stopped, and I just kept repeating "you're gonna hate me" and "you're gonna hit me" (my parents used corporal punishment up until I was 11 because I couldn't speak out against it, and they didn't know any better)
and he was very calm and kept telling me that no matter what he wouldn't hate me, or hurt me, and I could tell him. So I did. I told him that sometimes I felt like a boy, and sometimes I felt like a girl, and sometimes I felt like neither. And I kept repeating that in different ways, and kept telling him that I didn't want to be that way, but I just was and that I kept praying and praying but I was still having these feelings, this discomfort in my own skin. He basically took like 30 seconds to process it, and it felt like hours of excruciating silence on his end, as I waited for his response. Strangely I remember feeling very numb, like I was watching everything go down from outside of my body. Yet I was also the one experiencing what felt to be thousands of emotions at once. I'd never felt that way before, so it was definitely a weird experience. When he finally processed it, he just sort of said something along the lines of "okay. I support you." Everything was a blur at that point honestly. My family is extremely religious, extremely conservative. We're Muslim and immigrated from a Muslim country. I knew for a fact my family hated gay people, but I didn't know how they felt about transgender people, but I knew my dad was supportive about my depression and anxiety. His reaction shocked me. I went throw a wave of relief, fear, gratefulness, and pride. Yes, pride in my own identity. That was the first time I'd felt it. We had a long conversation about it, and I kept asking him if he had any questions I could answer and he didn't ask a single question. Simply comforted me as we spoke. He kept telling me that he loved me, and that he supported me. And I frankly couldn't stop crying. Not from fear, but from relief. The happiness I felt was like none other I'd felt beforehand. I expected him to literally abandon me on the streets, which is wayyyy dramatic and would be completely out of character for my father. Eventually he stopped me and told me we had to go because the food was getting cold. It made me laugh, and I cried all the way home lmao. Happy tears. We went home, I enjoyed the delicious fried chicken, and danced around my room and cried. But stuff went down afterwards so it was bittersweet. I was 12 when this all happened.
Final score:
16points
I don't like avocado (Submission author) 2 years ago (edited)
Felt like mentioning, I am genderfluid but I identify as male. That is because I'm most comfortable being seen as male and being referred to as such, even when I'm "feeling like a girl" I still do have body dysphoria, just care less if I get misgendered. It's like whoaaa body is messed up, that's not mine! But at the same time "she ____" or "it's hers ___" doesn't affect my mood or upset me like it normally does. I used the term genderfluid back then because it was closest to what I felt, but now I very roughly use it. I just say I'm male now, and it makes sense to me, and feels like me.
#39
I told my friends first because they would understand. I told my brother after that because he is trans. I told my mother because she is very accepting. I told my father via poem. It took him a bit, but he understands now.
Final score:
15points
Sequoia door. (Submission author) 2 years ago
I'm AroAce btw. I forgot to include that in my story.
#40
My gender identity is still firmly in the closet (if nothing else, I'm still figuring that bit out). When it came to my sexuality, I got outed at school. I'd told a few close friends that I had a crush on a girl (I'm AFAB) and that I'm pretty sure I'm bi, someone overhead and leaked it to most of the year. After some pressuring, my friends got me to tell my parents. So I went to mum casually that "the girl I had a crush on found out and now it's really awkward". Her response was basically to tell me it's normal to be attracted to women lol. My mum gives off strong bi vibes and that is honestly pretty dang cool. I always knew it was going to go fine with my parents since my brother came out as gay a few years previously. Anyway, happy Pride my friends :D 🏳️🌈
Final score:
14points
Nimues Child 2 years ago
Sorry you were outed without your permission, but your mom is terrific!
#41
I haven't yet but I'm planning on buying a little pride pin and kinda just wearing it around under a jacket. But only around my mom and friends because stepdad sure as heII won't support
Also HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!! 🏳️⚧️🏳🌈 they seriously need to make more pride flag emojis
Final score:
14points
#42
I emailed my parents before school. It went surprisingly well, Happy Pride!
Final score:
13points
#43
I came out as lesbian to my mom over text. She denied it and outed me to my dad. It did not go well. I came out to my best friend and she outed me to all my friends. They were extremely supportive of me. Now I’m back in the closet as Aroace and won’t come out untill school resumes. Happy pride month 🏳️🌈
Final score:
13points
Stardust she/her (Submission author) 2 years ago
I honestly wonder sometimes if my parents are bi people in denial. They say that being attracted to your own gender is normal but you out grow the “phase” and become straight. That is how they treated my coming out
#44
My mom asked me if I was trans while in the car. On the highway. 🏳️⚧️
Final score:
13points
️sHeS rEaLLy gOoD️ (They/Them) 2 years ago
🎶life is a trans highway and I wanna be trans all night long🎶
#45
I first came out as bi with signs on my door. Same thing when I thought I was lesbian and came out as that. I just told my friends "I'm gay."
Literally it.
Final score:
12points
#47
yeah..uh I haven't came out yet. I'm terrified of what people will think. however, I showed my parents the pansexual flag because I'm pansexual and they said it was FAKE- so yeah
Final score:
11points
ThePanInPanda 2 years ago
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure we're real. :) And sorry about your parents, hope things are going ok! You don't have to come out if you don't want to or aren't ready, but I hope you find people that understand and accept you!
#48
I was telling my family about a book character who was also lgbtq+ and I said, "guess who's also not straight"
and then I said, "me"
and it took my mom a full minute to understand that there wasnt a character named 'me' and i was just gay
Final score:
11points
#49
I came out three times, firstly as gay, later as bi and finally as queer.
I'd say that coming out is a continual thing. I'm constantly meeting new people who just assume or do not know, and I have to correct them and out myself again.
I heard it once said that we know we've won when we don't need to "come out" as we already accept who we are and never go into the closet in the first place.
Happy Pride to everyone both in or out of the closet. :)
Final score:
10points
Alex M 2 years ago
You are absolute spot on. Coming out is a continuous process. Cishet is still viewed as the "default" and it's what people just *assume* without thinking. So we're always having to correct that. Tiring, but it seems a little less dangerous these days. Don't know how true that is, could just be immured, but it seems it.
#50
I've had a lot of coming out experiences. I was outed as gay in high school. I was out to my friends and they were all super supportive, and I had a girlfriend. I was happy at school. However, that all somehow got back to my mother, who was raised *old school* Southern Baptist. Like hellfire and brimstone Southern Baptist. So I came home from school to her screaming at me, calling me slurs, throwing things at me (fortunately her aim is absolute c**p), and finally telling me to get out of her house. I calmly informed her that it was a six block walk to the police station and I was still under 16 (I was 14 at the time), so I would be perfectly happy to walk down to the police station and report her for child abandonment. She did not like that answer, but she also couldn't argue with it. Because I was right and she didn't like the potential legal consequences. She did continue to make me miserable for the remainder of high school, but didn't threaten to kick me out again. My dad just gave me the silent treatment for three days when he found out and then got over it.
During my first year of college, I came across the term "genderqueer." I had known my whole life that I wasn't a girl, but I also knew I wasn't a boy. This was the first time I had a word for my experience of gender. I came out to my college friends probably less than a week later, because I knew most of them through the GSA anyway, so they were a pretty safe group. I came out to my closest friend from high school the next school year, after I transfered to his school. (My first university was tiny and I switched to a major they didn't have.) He took it really well. I stopped using the version of my birth name I had been using, dropped a letter from it to make it neutral (although the spelling was masculine), and started going by that. I was slow to come out to my other friends there, but everyone was great about it.
It wasn't until grad school that I came out to my sister. She sent me a message on Facebook flat out asking if I was genderqueer. I wrote her a four page letter, by hand, and mailed it to her, as she lived in the opposite corner of the state. She's been very accepting about it. Calls me by the neutral form of my birth name that I started using in college, refers to me with they/them pronouns, introduces me to people as her sibling... Unless our parents are around. She still calls me by the correct name, but drops everything else, as she knows I'm not out to them yet. She keeps telling me I should tell them, given how they reacted to finding out the guy I lived with for 3 years was, in fact, a guy, not a girl. (Complete indifference, basically. They use the right name and pronouns for him and didn't make any sort of fuss about it.) She insists our mother already knows. But given how that went almost 20 years ago...I just can't. Maybe someday, but not yet.
Final score:
10points
Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago
I feel what you mean in those last couple lines. I hope you'e doing okay now and that someday you'll be able to tell your mother, and she'll be supportive.
#51
On the internet. Right now. Hi. I’m ace, y’all. Disclaimer I haven’t yet but luckily nobody back home knows this handle is me and now y’all know. Can you keep a secret? 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Final score:
10points
#53
I first came out to my cousin and my bf at the time as bi at like 2 in the morning about 5 minutes after I figured it out. Then I came out to my dad, mom, and step dad all on accident. My step dad found out first and kept it a secret from my mom. Then my dad found out a couple weeks later. Finally after a month or two my mom found out because my dad told her.
Fun times.. So fun.
Final score:
9points
#54
I don't know if this counts, but I'm speaking for my brother, who is proudly gay and married. Our mom and his dad saw him on TV in a Pride Parade. His dad flipped; Mom was totally fine with it. Lots of love to the LGBTQIA+ Community! Happy Pride Month! Be proud of who you are! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 (with love: 14 YO heterosexual)
Final score:
9points
#55
Oh I just told my mom while I was making chicken one day and she was like 'ok'. It was pretty chill. My grandma was the only one to have a problem with it. I had a really good experience coming out as transgender when you compare it to others. (My big bro uses my deadname on purpose to insult me cause he knows it works.) My mom helped me find binding and my dad helped me decide on a new name.
Final score:
9points
#56
I just wrote I think like girls in a note book and handed it to my mom and told her that I´m Agender and she still forgets what it is.
I´m Agender Omnisexual.
Final score:
8points
Candy_Sneke! 2 years ago
Can you explain to me what agender omnisexual means? And good for you that she accepted you!
#57
Said "how do I delicately explain I like girls not guys". That worked!
Final score:
8points
#58
Haven’t come out yet as a bi, idk if I plan to. Happy pride! 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Final score:
8points
#59
I just said it off-handedly in a conversation and everyone stared at me 💀💀
Final score:
8points
AsexualShrimp (Submission author) 2 years ago
For context, our school had a assembly where they talked about LGBT and no tolerance policy with homophobia and they told us to split into groups and stuff, and I just blurted it out hahahaha
#60
Exactly a one year ago today, I told my mom that I was nonbinary. Then I had her tell the rest of the family that I was enby because I’m a coward lol. Happy pride!!!!!! 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Final score:
7points
#61
Hey guys I’m still young and haven’t identified myself but be proud and stand tall about who you are!!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Final score:
7points
#62
I stated it and ran to my room so they could process. Worked ish.
Final score:
7points
#63
Mine is gradual, I'm pan, and came out to my gay friends first, then my school, however, my family doesn't know (neither do Cadets (a military youth organisation) as ik they'll take the p**s)
Final score:
7points
#64
I’m Agender and I have 2 stories
1 I came out to my closest friend first but no one else knew. The boy who bully’s me and my friends was saying how much I look like a guy and how that was bad because I am a girl. After listening to him saying that over and over I finally snapped and he became one of the 2 people that knew I was Agender.
2 all of my friends knew except for 1. I’m in a group chat called the girls with some of my friends and they’re friends. I was talking on the chat and the friend I wasn’t out to was sitting next to me. I forgot I wasn’t out to her and I gasped and said “I’m illegally in the girls group chat!” She was very confused.
I’m now out to everyone except my parents. Almost everyone are really supportive.
Final score:
7points
#65
i mean i told them i liked girls, and then proceeded to not use a alibi email for this lgbtqiap+ chat site. My mother can see my emails. She quite literally told me it was a hookup site. no it wasn’t, it was moderated and kept clean.
Final score:
7points
#66
I made a horrible decision and told my little sister about my crush. She then ran to my mom and told HER that I had a crush. My mom interrogated me, and I told her that my crush was a girl. My mom proceeded to lecture me about how I’m 13 and haven’t figured things out yet and that there are things called “girl crushes” she is starting to get used to it though.
Final score:
7points
Unicorn27 2 years ago
As a fellow mom in what sounds exactly like my daughters story: I am sorry. We were raised differently, and we just can't wrap our brains around it, so our initial reactions are of confusion. We are trying really hard to process and understand it though. Please bear with us: we love you no matter what.
#67
I've had several coming out experiences:
- My parents told me about LGBTQ when I was like 11 or 12, then a year.5 later I'm like "bruh.. I ain't a girl- it doesn't suit me!" and I came out to my parents, who supported me unconditionally
- My (now) ex girlfriend at first said she didn't give a f**k, but now she supports me unconditionally
- My current long-distance girlfriend came out over video call as lesbian, and I came out over text as non binary
- My friend from school was talking about like pronouns/queer people (I live in a very conservative area) so I thought it was safe to come out of the closet- she supported me unconditionally
- Another friend from school put in their writing for ELA that some people are LGBTQ and it's completely okay- I came out to them at lunch and they said "Oke cool!" and gave 2 thumbs up (it was very sincere) and then asked me what my pronouns were
- Another friend from school came out to me on the bus as pan, and I came out as enby, which they supported unconditionally
- Came out to my class when I told them about my new name, after they asked me what my pronouns are
However- these are my bad coming out experiences:
- Came out to somebody who wears pride flag everything, and when I told them I was non binary they were like "ok cool whatever i dont give a f**k" (but then after awhile I did it again and they were super supportive)
- Again kind of repeat of above, but they were like "what is keer, non binnary, wesbian, kransjendire, (etc)" BUT THEY WEAR GODDAMN PRIDE FLAGS.
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, PANDAS!!!!!!!!!!!
Final score:
7points
#68
I texted my friends that I was having a panic attack about coming out as abrosexual to my parents (I didn’t end up being abrosexual, I’m just a dumb gray romantic lesbian) and my parents phone got a notification so that’s how I came out
Final score:
6points
#69
Me and my mom where talking about the LGBTQ+ after a boy scouts meeting and she ended up asking if i was part of it and i said i was bisexual and kept it a secret for a year or so until it got brought up in a conversation at the dinner table. Only my mom, dad, and brother knows…. Oh and one of my cousins but there are a few rumors going through my family that I’m gay from the way I act. I’m a girl fyi. I plan to tell the whole family at my 13th birthday celebration. My family is a little old style though so I’m second guessing. Can you help me?
Final score:
6points
Nimues Child 2 years ago
Me again. I love the idea of planning your coming out as a celebration of you. Do what you can with your family to make that day special. As for those who might not support as lovingly - What helped for me was gently (but firmly) reminding them that *I* had not changed and I still am the person they know and love, not a stereotype. Being kind (but not necessarily nice) with anyone whose being a jerk defuses their attempts to throw you off and keeps you on the high road, leaving them looking bad - not you. Don't let anyone drag you down into their stereotypes. You're pretty d**n wonderful just as you are!
#70
not officially out but the closet is crystal clear. my mom asked if my "friend" was my girlfriend and then she told me to "stop being silly" and then walked away. :)
Final score:
6points
#71
I walked into home room with a pride flag and rainbow socks,holding a sign that said « IM TRANS »
Final score:
6points
#72
I haven’t come out yet. I plan to when I date someone not the opposite cisgender sex or with a letter/note, I really don’t know yet, maybe I’ll just go with the flow. Happy Pride Month!
Final score:
6points
#73
Ok... Let me be honest, this is a bit sad.
I sat them down in my room and I said, " I'm genderfluid, bi and ace. I use all pronouns."
The conversation after that was not pleasant, so to speak...
Hopefully your coming out is better than mine.
Anyways, Happy Pride Month Pandas! 🏳️🌈
Final score:
6points
Cierra Nope 2 years ago
Sorry to hear that 😞 here, have some unconditional support and a virtual hug from an internet stranger.
#74
I told my mom how I remembered how the fifth graders used to date way to early right? Then She asked why are you telling me this so I told Her I'm Bi and I like a Girl named Shirley. She supported me. HAPPY Pride month!!!!!🏳⚧🏳🌈
Final score:
5points
Eden Moore (Submission author) 2 years ago
Oh and also I need ideas to come out to my dad and possibly Shirley.
#75
I actually had to come out because people in my school wouldn't stop shipping me with other guys, usually my friends. IN F**KING DANCE CLASS. They kept shipping me so hard with a guy so I yelled out "IM F**KING LESBIAN". Everyone turned at me. Most were basically neutral. Probably didn't surprise them anyway. That was the best part. Worst part is, some boys in my class called their friends "gay" as a joke now. SOME THOUGHT I CAME OUT AS A JOKE.
Final score:
5points
#76
I put a sign on my the bedroom door at night on May 31st saying "I'm GAY! (Ask me more in the morning)."
Final score:
5points
#77
I was in the car with my mom, and it was late at night. I told her using a knock knock joke.
Me: hey mom, knock knock.
My mom: who's there?
Me: gay.
My mom: ...gay who...?
Me: Me.
My mom: why are you like this. I love you, but a [BP will censor me] knock knock joke?!
She actually didn't care that I'm a lesbian, she actually cared more that I used a joke to come out lol. I came out to everyone else after that (accept my friends, they already knew)
Final score:
5points
#80
I sat down on the couch, looked at my parents and just said "Guys... I'm Demisexual." . . . "O
Final score:
4points
#81
I haven’t. I came here for advice on how but I don’t plan to until I’m independent. My parents support the LGBTQ group but idk how they’d feel if one of us came out right this second.
Final score:
4points
1.21Gigawatts?! (Submission author) 2 years ago
OKAY BREAKING NEWS RIGHT NOW! Like 10 minutes ago I came out to my oldest sister as pans and she fully supports! I’ll be coming out to my middle sister our car ride home from school! I’ll keep you updated! Also credit to Oddly_Informed_Racen for the two truths one lie idea!
#82
I really want to run out of a closet wearing nothing but the lesbian flag, but since my family is homophobic it might not turn out so well
Final score:
4points
#83
so to come out to my friends, i set up a kahoot and it was about me, there was a question that said “is *my name* gay, and they all picked yes lol so yeah. i cant come out to my parents because they definitely wouldnt take me seriously and say im too young to know im a lesbian and demisexual.
Final score:
4points
#84
I accidentally came out to my mom a few days ago. My mom saw my nonbinary pride flag sticker from school and asked me about it. I said it was the nonbinary pride flag and walked away.
Final score:
4points
#85
I told my family one at a time over the course of tenth grade, and then after that, went to school, and told one guy, "I'm gay, pass it on," because a) liberal-ish school, and b) it was easier to just take advantage of the rumor mill.
And now that I'm in college, I just come out whenever it becomes relevant. Or t-shirts. T-shirts work, too.
Final score:
4points
#86
I'm out to everyone but my family. I have no idea when I want to come out, but I do know that I want to do the cake thing. I want the cake because my flag only has 3 colors so it would be easy to make and because I'll have cake to celebrate if it goes well and if it goes bad then I have cake to cry eat.
Final score:
4points
#87
Honestly it was a rollercoaster for me
I'm 20, pan and nonbinary, with a transfem older sister
I wasn't the "miserable trans child", I was the "oblivious about gender stuf" (probably because I'm on the spectrum, because sometimes I still can't process it)
I was 14-15 when I fully realized I wasn't a girl, and it was because my friends said it'd be fun to dress up as boys one day for school.
It wasn't because I ended up with the biggest existential crisis I'd ever had.
Then I told them, because I wanted to experiment with male pronouns (I live in Spain and the language sadly is very gendered so I was clueless about neutral pronouns), the accepting friends I kept, the dumb ones I learned to ignore over time.
I cut my 24 inches hair and rocked an undercut for a year till I discovered genderfluid and nonbinary was a thing, and met the greatest egg I've ever met, who later came out as agender and who's family has been one of my main supports.
Then I told my psychology class when I was 17 doing a presentation with my best friend, where she asked if they would recognize a trans person even if they hadn't been told (they were so full of lies because none of them knew except my friends) and then me sitting on a table called them out, followed by a big group hug (I'm touch averse but it was so emotional and nerve wracking that I didn't even care) and proceeded to gaslight the rest of the class into using my preferred name without having to explain anything because they just copied the others (I told them when they asked but really I was just happy to enjoy the interactions bc it was my last year on that school and didn't feel the need to explain my existence to anyone).
Now, everyone knew but my family, and even knowing that they couldn't react wrong (my sister had come out a few years prior to me and everyone was happy for her) I still had anxiety and depression to keep me from saying anything.
After 3 years and 2 failed attempts at telling them (it's hard to get attention when there are 7 siblings) I finally ended up having a really bad panic attack one day on the shower and ended up telling them (-15/10 experience, wouldn't recommend at all)
Some took more time to get with it because apparently my sister had been very obvious when growing up, but i was just a quiet drawing animals kind of kid.
It's been almost 3 years since that and while some people are really confused I'm mostly good with everything, because I have a really supportive family and group of online and irl friends that help me ignore idiots.
Hope everyone has a Happy Pride Month and a reminder that you don't need to come out to be you, and even if your current situation is not good, you can get to a better one. 🏳️🌈
(Sorry if this was too long)
Final score:
3points
#88
I told my Mom and, well, supposedly best friends that I was gay. Within 2 months I was set up for a.... well, I showed up with 2 gal of gas and there was several dozen people hiding in the bushes. Murder was on their mind. This was when gaybashing was a sport. I some how got the hell outa there and moved to the city away from my hometown. Several ys later I was told that the ringleader had been killed by his FIL. Karma. I am happy, well adjusted man. For the younger folk remember, it is upon the shoulders of those that came before you that you may stand proud and safe!!
Final score:
3points
#89
I actually got in trouble and my mom went through my phone and saw that in one of my texts I mentioned being lesbian :). Long story short she yelled at me said I was just confused and kicked me out of the house
Final score:
3points
#90
I live in a small village and was raised extremely katholic. Like praying every night with holy water, go to church twice a week and no meal without a pray stuff. It changed after a while, I'm atheist even as a child, but it still hunts me a little bit.
The problem is I'm pan. And I was in love with a transdude. In my small village he was seen as tomboy. Everyone pronounced him wrong, because nobody understood. We talked a lot about it and started to slowly love each other. We went to a birthday party, slept in the same bed and cuddled the whole night and the next day pretending we where still asleep. When my mom picked me up we texted each other and got in a relationship. We where still in the car when my phone died. That was the worst scenario ever.
My mom asked me whats going on and I simply answered. "Two from the party are going to get in a relationship. I don't want to miss something." after a while she looked at me and said "so... You and [bad name] right?"
"uhm... M-maybe?"
"I don't like her... But if she makes you happy..."
"actually [bad name] is a boy... He wants to be called [name]"
My mom was extremely cool with it. I'm in a relationship with a gender fluid person now. My mom still calls my ex with his bad name and has some problems with he/she/they (maybe because they doesn't really exist in German)
But she and the rest of my family supports me. My mom wears a rainbow pin when she is at work and calls me her rainbow child.
She even goes to the csd and magical pride with me.
Final score:
3points
#91
Invited a pretty girl I'd met at a conservative Christian all girls camp LITERAL DAYS BEFORE to a party with all my gay friends. Mere hours before the party I'd realized I was Bisexual and had a crush on her, so everyone still thought I was just an ally- Anyway we go to this party, end up cuddling in front of the sunset, and one of my lesbian friends walks by... and makes a joke about me being the token straight-
I just looked at xem, looked at my arm around this adorable girl, then went "uhhhhh Hazel? I'm not straight"
Epilogue: Came out to all of my friends at that party and have been dating that person for almost a year :)
Final score:
3points
#92
Came out as bi when I was 14, I told my parents. Got a lot of flack for announcing it publicly. Today, I don’t really label my gender but I know that I’m definitely not straight (I feel a slight attraction to girls sometimes). I really haven’t come out to family and only to a few select people at work by saying “I like both guys and girls.”
Final score:
2points
Alex M 2 years ago (edited)
First off, you are who you are. They just have to accept that. But I'm a little confused by your statement. You say "I don't really label my gender," but you're talking about sexual orientation, which is a whole separate thing from gender identity. Do you mean your sexuality label has changed because you're enby? If that's the case, dude, same. I'm genderqueer and it's so freaking difficult to find a label that fits. I'm attracted to women and fellow enbys, but not men. So that would technically make me bi, but people associate "bi" with "women and men." I finally just settled on "queer."
#93
Im at a bording school. One of my friends had a great gaydar and went to every queer person on our floor (half of them are gay) and ask them weather they are a lesbian or bisexual.
Final score:
2points
#94
So I came out to my friend by just simply mentioning "I'm bisexual" and she was like, "That's great!" and we continued with our work. Anyway, like 15 mins later another friend that I invited over was there and when she came inside my house she asked: "Are you going to come out to her yet?" I had already told this friend, let's name her Sam, that I was bi. It was really coincidental especially since I hadn't told her I was planning on coming out to anyone yet.
Final score:
2points
#96
I don't think I ever really did, at least not in the "sit down with X person" and tell them, sense. Growing up, I always knew I was bi and had some experiences but never really dated anyone until I was out of HS.
My Mom found out when she asked me where I was going one day and I just said, "To pickup my girlfriend, Beth." There was a pause, and all I remember her saying was, "Drive safe". There were no real discussions or anything about it until years later but that was mostly due to my Mom's own shift on the spectrum into ace. Then the discussions were her usually haranguing me about why I wanted relationships or to date, etc. Those were... stressful talks.
I don't think my Dad ever knew, but I can't say for sure since we'd been estranged for years before his death. I can guess his reaction wouldn't have been good, though. I did see a cousin on my Dad's side once while I was at Walmart with another girlfriend, we were holding hands. We didn't stop to talk to him, just smiled and waved and carried on. Whether he told anyone or not, I don't know. I'd been estranged from my Dad's side too, still am.
As I got older, I realized that instead of bi, I was pansexual. If I like you, I like you, to put it simply. I explored kink, etc.
Currently, I'm not sure if it's because of my age or what, but while I'm still pan I've also fallen into the ace spectrum somewhere. Life is definitely a journey!
So I guess my story is really anticlimactic. I'm thankful for that though, because I know my experience is unusual. I've lost family and friends but not because of my orientation. Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or not.
Final score:
2points
#97
Sooo... i got in trouble for putting my gender as male on google and I yelled that I was a guy. All my friends asked my pronouns and I told them he/they/ze/xem.
Final score:
2points
#98
(Im a girl)
I went home and said to my family and said "I'm pan and have a girlfriend," then went to my room. My family didn't bug me about it and accepted me.
Final score:
2points
#99
Honestly it was a rollercoaster for me
I'm 20, pan and nonbinary, with a transfem older sister
I wasn't the "miserable trans child", I was the "oblivious about gender stuf" (probably because I'm on the spectrum, because sometimes I still can't process it)
I was 14-15 when I fully realized I wasn't a girl, and it was because my friends said it'd be fun to dress up as boys one day for school.
It wasn't because I ended up with the biggest existential crisis I'd ever had.
Then I told them, because I wanted to experiment with male pronouns (I live in Spain and the language sadly is very gendered so I was clueless about neutral pronouns), the accepting friends I kept, the dumb ones I learned to ignore over time.
I cut my 24 inches hair and rocked an undercut for a year till I discovered genderfluid and nonbinary was a thing, and met the greatest egg I've ever met, who later came out as agender and who's family has been one of my main supports.
Then I told my psychology class when I was 17 doing a presentation with my best friend, where she asked if they would recognize a trans person even if they hadn't been told (they were so full of lies because none of them knew except my friends) and then me sitting on a table called them out, followed by a big group hug (I'm touch averse but it was so emotional and nerve wracking that I didn't even care) and proceeded to gaslight the rest of the class into using my preferred name without having to explain anything because they just copied the others (I told them when they asked but really I was just happy to enjoy the interactions bc it was my last year on that school and didn't feel the need to explain my existence to anyone).
Now, everyone knew but my family, and even knowing that they couldn't react wrong (my sister had come out a few years prior to me and everyone was happy for her) I still had anxiety and depression to keep me from saying anything.
After 3 years and 2 failed attempts at telling them (it's hard to get attention when there are 7 siblings) I finally ended up having a really bad panic attack one day on the shower and ended up telling them (-15/10 experience, wouldn't recommend at all)
Some took more time to get with it because apparently my sister had been very obvious when growing up, but i was just a quiet drawing animals kind of kid.
It's been almost 3 years since that and while some people are really confused I'm mostly good with everything, because I have a really supportive family and group of online and irl friends that help me ignore idiots.
Hope everyone has a Happy Pride Month and a reminder that you don't need to come out to be you, and even if your current situation is not good, you can get to a better one. 🏳️🌈
(Sorry if this was too long)
Final score:
2points
#100
I wrote an e-mail I never intended to send. Then hit enter at the wrong time and sent it to my parents. I am bisexual, married to a man, and have 2 boys. But all that was out the window, if I am bi I MUST be sleeping with lots of men and women. Luckily I've been able to get through to my parents about the difference between attraction and actively boinking people.
Final score:
2points
#101
i was 12 years old and it was a suggestion from my best friend at the time, but i was home alone and i knew my mom would be back around a certain time (for the purpose of me typing this out I'll say 3:30). so at 3:28 or so i went to sit on our stove and i waited for her. when she walked in and saw me she asked "what are you doing?!" to which I responded "i'm being myself". this confused her more lol.
"what do you mean?"
"I'm pan."
then i had to explain what it meant, and she outed me to my whole family :')
my family nicknamed me peter pan for like two months also.
for reference, i turn 18 on the 26 of this month and i have yet to figure out how to come out as nonbinary so please give me suggestions bc i need to beat this in terms of humor.
Final score:
2points
Cierra Nope 2 years ago
Wear a shirt covered in 2s and 3s and other numbers but not 1 or 0. Then get a coat or sweater covered in 1 and 0, and do a dramatic reveal.
#102
Well my dad and grandma (dad's side of the family) hate me for coming out as bi (btw I'm female). My dad said if I get a girlfriend I can't she can't go in the house. Also my grandma says I can't like girls because it's wrong. I think I hate my dad's side of the family. Anyway my mom still loves me. 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Final score:
1point
#103
I just never did❤️
Final score:
1point
#104
I haven't come out as bisexual + non-binary/queer (im not really sure yet) yet but i am planning on telling my mom on our roadtrip
Happy Pride! 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ 💗💜💙 💜🤍💚
💗🤍💜🖤💙 💛🤍💜🖤 💙💗🤍💗💙 💗💚💙
💗🤍💛
Final score:
1point
LGBTQ NOODLES (Submission author) 2 years ago
I can't edit the post so here is my update: I figured out the non-binary/queer thing, I am trigender 💗💜💚💜💗
#105
The first time: In the car. I had told my sister beforehand and had started dating a girl that day, so I told my sis and so while I’m in the car with my mom she goes “So, are you gonna tell mom?” And I go “No, [Sisters name], I wasn’t going to” but by then my mom knows something is up so yeah. When I came out as asexual I just posted it on my Instagram story. I might subtly try to come out as lesbian soon by playing “Girls” by Girl in Red in the car. (The first time I came out was 2 years ago and that was as Bisexual before I realized I was a lesbian). Sorry for trash formatting, I’m on my phone :/
Final score:
1point
#106
Well first my sister came out to my parents and I was just like I guess this is a good time to tell them to. Me and my siblings had already known about me being gay same with me knwing they were both gay.
Final score:
1point
Teddybear (Submission author) 2 years ago
Also I came out as lesbian at first. Now I am a proud non-binary bisexual asexual mess!!!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
#107
there's only one person I 'came out' to actually. everyone knows I'm queer, just not a lable. I just started putting little rainbow things in my room, wearing rainbow bracelets and changed my phone background.
last week I actually 'came out' to my friend, and I hadn't planned it so it was pretty funny to me. we were having a sleepover, it was 4 am and we're talking about some pretty deep stuff. at some point love and future came up and I just told her like I was reading a grocery list all the things I have identified as and how I identify now. it was a lot easier than I expected tbh, I just told her I'm aorace, nonbinary and use any/all pronouns and that was it.
happy pride!
Final score:
1point
#108
I don't know how.
My parents don't really accept gay people [And I'm Lesbian], and my friends always joke like "Oh my god you're so gay" or "stop being gay". I do think my best friend knows though, because one day I wore a Lesbian flag pin around all day and she was the only one who noticed.
So I dunno.
Final score:
1point
#109
Welp, I'm ace, aro, and agender...a triple A battery if you will. I never actually came out as such, though I do wear a black ring on my right middle finger.
Though honestly, I'm sure with my 27 years of never dating anyone and having a wardrobe that looks like it belongs to at least 3-4 different people of various gender(s), it isn't too hard to figure some things out.
Final score:
1point
#110
Told my mom today just straight up told her and I am so much happier now.🏳️🌈
Final score:
1point
#111
First, I live in Korea, a place where so many people think of being lgbtq+ as disgusting so DEFINITELY NOT PLANNING ON COMING OUT ANY TIME SOON
I did come out to a few friends back when I went to an international school cuz literally half of the students in my grade were part of the community. Really helped me become more comfortable in what I am.
Btw, I'm a bisexual 13 yr old and I think I'm a girl but I sometimes don't feel like it.
Final score:
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#112
The problem as always with this question is that there is often not "one big coming out," as people tend to think. You come out many times to different people and in a way you have to keep coming out when you meet new people.
I first told some close friends over chat when I was in eighth or ninth grade, I didn't dare to tell them face to face. Some had good reactions and some bad.
Final score:
1point
Unicorn27 2 years ago
Can I ask a legitimate question: then what's the point of telling people? My 15 daughter keeps "coming out": first as pan, then as ace, then as demi......I just don't understand why tell people (especially if you're young) until you know for sure? I honestly want to know. Thank you :)
#113
I wish I was able to come out... I mean, it's not dangerous, but I feel like I wouldn't be taken seriously - in the past when I've mentioned some lgbt stuff mum's just been like "It's like bromance and sister from another mister"
Happy Pride anyways. Love you all.
Final score:
1point
#114
Was in the car, coming back from my karate class. I had planned on telling my mother (who was the only other person in the car) for a while—I sure as hell wasn't planning on coming out that night—but maybe the leftover thrill from the class gave me a bit of confidence. I think what I said was something like "So, I've been meaning to tell you this for a while; I'm pansexual." She didn't actually know what it was, and I had to explain it to her afterwards. She totally understood. That's pretty much it.
Final score:
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#115
I haven't, and I am in a same sex relationship. My parents are your traditional Chinese parents, they have spoken negatively of gay relationships before and will likely react negatively. I am not touching that.
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I don't like avocado 2 years ago
That's a really difficult situation to be in. I hope eventually if you and your partner come to light that your parents will accept and love you as you are.
#117
We (me and my girlfriend) walked out into the living room where my mom was sitting and I just said "Ma, I think I'm Lesbian" and she looked at me and said with a completely strait face "thought so" 🤣 anyways happy pride month 🌈🏳️🌈
Final score:
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#118
I’m not 100% out to everyone but I recently came out to my younger brother by buying a bisexual pin for myself.
Final score:
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#119
I was in Phys Ed with a bunch of my LGBTQ+ friends, they asked one another to unconventionally describe their sexualities, and I just randomly went over to them and yelled, "RATED 'E' FOR EVERYONE!" (I'm Pan)
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#120
I wasn’t planning on telling them, but it just sort of slipped out at the dinner table. It’s safe to say they were NOT happy about it.
Final score:
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#122
i'm not coming out to my family bc they would probably not react well, but i've come out to friends three times!
1) i came out as bisexual through, texts, changing my contact name on a friend's phone to "raging bisexual," and then just straight up telling people. i did get outed to a few people, but they were luckily cool about it
2) i came out as asexual biromantic when a new friend said she was ace and i was like "omg me too!!" and others around me were like "WHAT." i also changed the previously mentioned contact name to "raging asexual"
3) recently learned im aromantic! i came out to my best friend by sending a picture of a literal arrow to which they responded "nice." i also came out to a group chat when i changed the group icon to kirby holding both aro and ace flags
i still have some people to come out to, but i'm going to take it at my own pace and do that when im ready :) happy pride everyone!
Final score:
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#123
I was watching gay tiktoks on youtube and my dad walked in my room. I had previously told them I thought I was bisexual, so they weren't surprised.
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#124
I told my mom that I was gay and she said she loves me very much and she supports me and I came out to my dad by a painting that I made in art class and both my parents support me, I told my best friend that I was gay and she told me that she supports me as well. Happy Pride Month🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Final score:
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#125
I told my mom I was bisexual, and she said, "Oh cool, me too."
Came out last year as enby, she's been doing her very best to use my correct pronouns and honestly she's the only one making any effort so I appreciate her for it.
Final score:
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#126
I got outed to my religious, conservative parents only a week after figuring out my identity for myself :(
They definitely didn't take it well, but it's been almost a year and my mom has made a lot of progress
Final score:
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#127
I only came out two people which are my friends. I came out as either pan or bi cuz I honestly can't decide. My reason for this is because I feel attracted to everyone but I have a preference for gender so yea- Happy Pride month!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Final score:
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Otamayashi (pan/bi ig) (Submission author) 2 years ago
I can't come out to my parents as they are trans/homophobic. I heard that they will support me from eavesdropping but I don't feel comfortable with coming out tho them yet.
#128
I finally got the courage to come out as AroAce after my friends undying support
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#129
Told my mother over dinner. Calm reaction, went well. Told my dad over dinner. (Different time) did not go so well.
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#130
Informally, by muttering something incomprehensible as I lay there in an emergency department, with various people asking why I’d try to kill myself. Dad overheard the answer.
More formally (and several years later), a visit back home while a Uni student. I’d just caught my first ever boyfriend cheating on me and was so stressed, I couldn’t keep dinner down. So rushed up from the table, out the front door and puked in the garden.
I figured they deserved some sort of explanation. Even then I never said the word, “gay”. I just said I’d been badly hurt by someone I was in a relationship with. I didn’t need to explain more, they’d known I was gay for years.
So yeah, never underestimate how difficult it can be coming to terms with your sexuality, especially years ago. But happy ending - my family have a wonderful relationship with my husband of twelve years.
Final score:
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#131
i came out to my friends as ace and they were fine with it :))
when i came as genderqueer they accepted me and called me by my preffered name at once :))
i’m really lucky to have such great friends and i wish all people reading this have at least one person who is like my friends
Final score:
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#132
My fiance convinced me to tell my best friend and then my sisters. I was terrified for so long of doing so because my father was a homophobic racist and a proud "son of a confederate veteran" My friends and sisters accepted me outright with no problems. My father never knew and now never will. (He passed from cancer) I wanted to tell him so badly, but the things he said about seeing same sex couples in the media made me rethink doing that. It didn't help that when we saw a jewelry commercial advertising rings for same sex couples that he called it "wrong and gross" I'm very proud of my friends and sisters for accepting me and I've never been happier. And it's all thanks to my fiance. We're hoping for a Christmas wedding once we get settled. Really can't thank him enough.
Final score:
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#133
It was like 20ish when it happened. Thing is I didn't know there was a name for it. I had dated, but wasn't interested in any thing romantic. One day I finally remembered to do research on it (on why I'm not interested in romantic stuff) and learned that I'm asexual. I let my family know, I wasn't shy on announcing it and just joyfully let them know. They were cool with it.
Final score:
1point
#134
My story's pretty plain, my mum and I were watching TV and the thought just hit me that I should tell her I'm non binary. At first she seemed to just not care, then she had a full-on freak out. But it all turned out fine! She bought me a pronoun pin for my birthday ❤
To everyone out there struggling with homophobia or transphobia, my heart is with you. Feel free to comment and I'll listen and try to respond as best I can. Coming out is hard, but often it's worth it!
But an important note: if you think your emotional or physical safety will be at risk by coming out, DON'T. I know it's tough having to not be yourself, but that's better than being unsafe.
Love y'all! Have a happy gay month 🏳🌈
Final score:
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#135
Not me, but my daughter who was 14. We were talking, and she blurted out "I'm Pansexual." I said, ok, but what I wanted to know was what you want for dinner. I did have to Google it later (hey, I'm old. I'm from the time where there was gay or bi as the only phrases. But I wasn't going to make her self conscious by asking her to explain.) I don't care what she is, I still love her.
Final score:
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#136
A mother here! I had my suspicions that my daughter was gay. I invited her for an ice cream and while we were cruising, I asked her if she was dating her female friend. She busted in tears and I could tell she was ashamed😞. I hugged her and told her “you are a beautiful person regardless of your sexual preferences, I love you for WHO you are”! Later that day she told her dad, and she told us both that she felt so relieved after telling us.
Final score:
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#137
happy pride month everyone! today i bought a shirt that said, "im so gay i cant even think straight"! and a rainbow necklace.
i love everyone!!!! i love you all!
Final score:
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#138
Still an ongoing process, I've told my parents all I know (transgender, AMAB, bi or something (preference for femininity/girls)). but I haven't told my siblings that Im trans yet (and I think ill have my parents do that since I am a coward). but yeah, its going good for me thankfully, I hope y'all have a happy pride!
Final score:
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#139
My mom was texting a friend of hers on my phone. Being a protective mom, she started going through unmarked numbers to make sure I wasn’t doing anything suspicious. She finds receipts of me asking someone out, getting regected, and coming out as a Demi girl to them. Not even joking.
Final score:
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#140
haven’t come out all the way but just to two really close friends. so we went to Washington DC for a school trip and as we’re at dinner one night and one of my friends (who had a bf at the time) was talking about on her soccer team there is a girl she really likes. she then looks at me and my other friend and says “you two are gay as well right?”. my friend turn to me and i turn to her and we both nod. we’ll call the first friend Beth. then the other one Wendy. (very much not their real names) Beth asks us what we are, and Wendy responds with omnisexual. Beth turns to me and i quickly mutter bi. she then laughs and says don’t worry same. we then spend the rest of the time talking about that kinda stuff. i learned a lot about my friends that night lol :)
Final score:
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#142
I talked to my therapist first and then told my parents that I maybe liked a girl.
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#143
i came out on christmas by giving them a card. not going so hot…
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#144
I was signing up for therapy with my mom. I told her that I was pan but I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m a lesbian, idk.
Second time I came out to her as trans and that I’m agender, idk what happened though. Her and my dad have been really accepting which I’m thankful for.
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#145
I'm out to everyone but my family. I have no idea when I want to come out, but I do know that I want to do the cake thing. I want the cake because my flag only has 3 colors so it would be easy to make and because I'll have cake to celebrate if it goes well and if it goes bad then I have cake to cry eat.
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#146
I told my mom and 2 friends I'm was bi.
Wore a subtle bi shirt to my dad.
Will post a bi pin that I own on Facebook for the rest of Friends/family.
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Margrete Sonnenberg (Submission author) 2 years ago
I came out to my dad last year and I tried to come off subtle last year to friends and family but I don't think they understood. (my dad's side maybe)
#147
Honestly it was a rollercoaster for me
I'm 20, pan and nonbinary, with a transfem older sister
I wasn't the "miserable trans child", I was the "oblivious about gender stuf" (probably because I'm on the spectrum, because sometimes I still can't process it)
I was 14-15 when I fully realized I wasn't a girl, and it was because my friends said it'd be fun to dress up as boys one day for school.
It wasn't because I ended up with the biggest existential crisis I'd ever had.
Then I told them, because I wanted to experiment with male pronouns (I live in Spain and the language sadly is very gendered so I was clueless about neutral pronouns), the accepting friends I kept, the dumb ones I learned to ignore over time.
I cut my 24 inches hair and rocked an undercut for a year till I discovered genderfluid and nonbinary was a thing, and met the greatest egg I've ever met, who later came out as agender and who's family has been one of my main supports.
Then I told my psychology class when I was 17 doing a presentation with my best friend, where she asked if they would recognize a trans person even if they hadn't been told (they were so full of lies because none of them knew except my friends) and then me sitting on a table called them out, followed by a big group hug (I'm touch averse but it was so emotional and nerve wracking that I didn't even care) and proceeded to gaslight the rest of the class into using my preferred name without having to explain anything because they just copied the others (I told them when they asked but really I was just happy to enjoy the interactions bc it was my last year on that school and didn't feel the need to explain my existence to anyone).
Now, everyone knew but my family, and even knowing that they couldn't react wrong (my sister had come out a few years prior to me and everyone was happy for her) I still had anxiety and depression to keep me from saying anything.
After 3 years and 2 failed attempts at telling them (it's hard to get attention when there are 7 siblings) I finally ended up having a really bad panic attack one day on the shower and ended up telling them (-15/10 experience, wouldn't recommend at all)
Some took more time to get with it because apparently my sister had been very obvious when growing up, but i was just a quiet drawing animals kind of kid.
It's been almost 3 years since that and while some people are really confused I'm mostly good with everything, because I have a really supportive family and group of online and irl friends that help me ignore idiots.
Hope everyone has a Happy Pride Month and a reminder that you don't need to come out to be you, and even if your current situation is not good, you can get to a better one. 🏳️🌈
(Sorry if this was too long)
Final score:
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Mx. Hyde (Submission author) 2 years ago
My phone did something weird and it appears to have posted it 3 times, sorry... TvT
#148
I didn't really come out, tbh.. A school counselor outed me to my parents and it sort of went from there. I'm pan, and nonbinary. Lol they did NOT take it well.
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#149
Well to one of my friends and my mom I just told them, but the interesting one is actually how I accidentally came out to my friend which I had a crush on (She doesn’t know that though).
We were in our chemistry class room looking at a periodic table and I point at bismuth and said it was me. That’s how she found out.
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#150
Was in the car, coming back from my karate class. I had planned on telling my mother (who was the only other person in the car) for a while—I sure as hell wasn't planning on coming out that night—but maybe the leftover thrill from the class gave me a bit of confidence. I think what I said was something like "So, I've been meaning to tell you this for a while; I'm pansexual." She didn't actually know what it was, and I had to explain it to her afterwards. She totally understood. That's pretty much it.
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#151
When I told my mom she was like “okay, that’s chill- but you’re too young” WHAT?
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#152
as a nonbinary pansexual it took me a while to figure it out but i just kinda told my parents and they accepted me
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#153
I believe it was roughly 10 years ago to my mom. My birthday is Dec. 30, so I usually wait until the 41st to get really drunk (if I have no work the next day). I can't quite remember what I said, but I did come out as not entirely straight. Still not sure what I would really consider myself to be.
Final score:
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#154
I've done it twice so far. The first time was a bit of a mess: I played "Girls Love Girls and Boys" by Panic! at the Disco, but my mom wasn't quite listening so I had to explain the lyrics to her. I was so nervous that I told her "I'm the B", as in LG(B)T, but with no context - she thought I was telling her I was a trans boy and started saying she was surprised as I was a very girly kid. Eventually, we cleared things up and after some crying, I calmed down and she accepted me.
The second time, we had just finished a certain episode of One Day At A Time (the one where Elena realizes she never felt anything for a boy she kissed), and I just explained to my mom that I thought I felt the same way. She was supportive then too, and she asked if I wanted her to tell the rest of the family. I said yes, which I kind of regret because nobody else asked me any questions about it and I still don't know who she actually told or not. But all in all, I'm a lot more confident about myself now and it pretty much all worked out.
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#155
I haven't come out officialy, but I think everyone knows.
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#156
I'm still in the closet to most people, but one of my friends, who is out to her parents, they told her it was just a phase and are sending her to a christian school.
I know that it is not really coming out, but it is the aftermath of coming out.
Final score:
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#157
I was walking with friends in the local gay men's chorus during a Pride March in the capitol. Little did I know I walked right past a reporter. My aunt saw me on 48 Hours that night in a clip focusing on marches in state capitols. She lives on the other side of the country. Got an interesting phone call that night. She was curious and supportive. Less than 10 seconds on a news montage and my family knew.
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#158
Drunkenly! My friend and a family friend was telling my mom how he was going to officiate his first gay wedding and how excited he was and my response was, “Well if I ever get married you can make it two!” And they paused, seemed mildly surprised and we talked about other things.
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#159
I came out as non-binary the day before my birthday. I sent an email during class time and ended up mostly getting comments on my writing skills. It's not always easy (my parents keep forgetting to use my preferred pronouns), but they've mostly been very supportive.
My tip for coming out is that there's no right or wrong way to come out. You can make it a big thing with cupcakes, just let it slip in a conversation, or even just send a text or email if you don't want to see their reaction in person. Whatever you think is best is good!
Final score:
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#160
I am bisexual, Was talking about my current partner with my mum (male, I am female) and about past partners and casually said I had been with women too, it took until this year to tell my mum (I am 35) but she seems ok with it, she just carried on the conversation as though I hadn’t said anything and nothing has been mentioned again.
Final score:
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#161
Over one summer I was trying to figure out who I am. I had been having feelings for girls and I watched LGBTQ+ artists like Hayley Kiyoko and I started getting books about how do you know if your Lesbian. Once school started I had met some really amazing people and I discovered I am Ace. I talked about it with them and I talked about my feelings for girls. For awhile I thought I was an Ace Lesbian. Then I thought I was an Ace Bisexual. I finally know who I am. I am a proud Ace Pansexual. I had known I wasn't into anyone sexually for awhile, I just did not know what was happening. So one day during holiday season I told my mom I am ace and that I like girls, she looked at me and said you be you. Now she knows I am a proud Ace Pansexual. I have not gotten full courge to tell my dad, but I have been close, and I ponder questions at him to see how he acts. Maybe I will wait till he sees me in the Pride Club photos. I have been really open about this to my friends and I love them for them loving and accepting me. For me I am very nonverbal about my sexuality, so saying out loud makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but pictures and notes share it to the world! I hope everyone has a amazing Pride Month!!!🏳️🌈
On a side note: many people think being asexual means you don't have feelings for anyone. I have feelings to people romantically, just not sexually. You don't have to have sex to have a solid relationship.
Again HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!!! 🏳️🌈
Final score:
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#162
I came out to my sister and dad in a game of truth or dare - my sister asked me who I liked, and I told the truth.
A few months later, she said "remember that girl you had a crush on", and that's how my mum found out.
I was lucky enough to know that my family would accept me before I came out, though.
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#163
I didn't really came out to my family. I just brought my girlfriend home and told my parents she was my girlfriend like no big deal or something. Inside I was almost having een anxiety attack, but I didn't want me being a lesbian different than me being straight. My mom reacted that she already knew that I was a lesbian. My dad said nothing, I think it was more difficult for him but he didn't want me to notice.
Nowadays I feel like I have to come out more often. My wife and I have a beautiful daughter and every time we meet new people we have to explain that we're two mommy's and she doesn't have a father.
Final score:
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#164
Update:
I got the courage to tell my dad that I am an Ace Pansexual after he was willing to take me to Apex pride to see Drag Queens!!!!
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!! 🏳️🌈
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#165
i came out to my mom bc i was dating a girl and apparently whenever i talked abt her i smiled. my dad— thats a whole different story but it ended up with him telling me that he supported me but didn’t think it was true and that it was a faze. and my stepmom telling me that i wasn’t gay and that it went against the bible and that stuff. i’m straight now so idk if this counts. :)
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#167
when we were driving back from a day at the mall, I told my mom I was bi. she literally just told me 'um.. okay why were you so afraid to say that' i was so glad. Then with my dad I was having a heated argument and it worked it's way into the conversation that I was bi. my dad also didn't mind, and asked me if my mom knew. I said yes, and he's accepted me ever since.
p.s happy pride month!!!!!!!!🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈
Final score:
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#168
As background information I live in a Christian family. A few nights ago I had asked them if they supported LGBTQ+ people and they said yes, and that if I was queer they would support me (A massive lie) And so a few days later I was leaving the orthodontist office with my mom and I said “hey mom, I need to tell you something…” And she looks at me kinda confused because I (used to) trust my mom and tell her most things without dramatic statements and all. At this point I’m really nervous because I’m remembering all the times she’s criticized different LGBTQ people/ book characters/ etc even if it wasn’t outright, but I push through anyways and tell her that I’m nonbinary, and start to explain what that means, and she interrupts me and tells me that she knows what it means and then just stands there (we were waiting for a taxi) and I’m absolutely terrified, like on the verge of a panic attack because when my parents are mad they can (and will) make my life hall on earth. (Also because of an anxiety disorder that they made so much worse but that’s a different story) Then she just asked me why. I remember being confused, because duh, I don’t identify as a girl or a boy, and so I say that and she starts this tangent about how it’s a new identity (which is very untrue) and that it was a phase, and I was a bit frustrated because it wasn’t. Of course, she didn’t care about that, according to her I was exaggerating. So after we came home she outed me to my dad and he was much worse, yelling at me about how I was a girl and whatnot I was kinda fed up at that point and (because I was incredibly depressed at that point in time and had gotten good at mentally escaping when I was lonely/afraid/suicidal) zoned out for a good amount of time and then eventually built up the courage to say something along the lines of “Okay whatever you’re right I’ll go back to being normal or whatever” (It’s a miracle I wasn’t punished to the end of eternity for that) and holed up in my room and sobbed for about half an hour and then, desperate for someone to understand, came out to my closest friends via text and she was totally supportive and understanding. A year later of being very gay and very nonbinary, they are still unsupportive.
tl;dr: My parents were jerks when I came out so then I came out to my friends and found out how awesome and supportive my friends are.
Happy pride!!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Final score:
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What do you think ?
chordioid 2 years ago (edited)
to the people who haven't come out yet or don't know when to, you're still valid. to the people who don't know exactly who they are yet, you're still valid. to the people who use obscure labels and have lesser known sexualities, you're still valid. everyone here is super valid and awesome!!
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
It doesn’t matter what your gender identity, sexuality (or lack of) is, you are 100% valid. The homophobhes/transphobes have no day over how valid you are
Load More Replies...
Hannah 2 years ago
My sister realized I was ace before I did. She's the one who suggested I might be. Told my mom. She denies it to hell and back. I just "Haven't found the right person yet" and "Will change your mind once you actually HAVE sex" Told my dad. (Was super worried after my mom's initial reaction) he responded with "... Really? I mean, really really? YES!! F**K YES! Do you know how relieving that is too hear? You can have anyone over whenever you want. No restrictions!" (My sister was only allowed to have he boyfriend over between noon and 5pm)
chordioid 2 years ago (edited)
to the people who haven't come out yet or don't know when to, you're still valid. to the people who don't know exactly who they are yet, you're still valid. to the people who use obscure labels and have lesser known sexualities, you're still valid. everyone here is super valid and awesome!!
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
It doesn’t matter what your gender identity, sexuality (or lack of) is, you are 100% valid. The homophobhes/transphobes have no day over how valid you are
Load More Replies... Hannah 2 years ago
My sister realized I was ace before I did. She's the one who suggested I might be. Told my mom. She denies it to hell and back. I just "Haven't found the right person yet" and "Will change your mind once you actually HAVE sex" Told my dad. (Was super worried after my mom's initial reaction) he responded with "... Really? I mean, really really? YES!! F**K YES! Do you know how relieving that is too hear? You can have anyone over whenever you want. No restrictions!" (My sister was only allowed to have he boyfriend over between noon and 5pm)
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