30 Times Kids Had Had Enough Of Helicopter Parents And Shared Screenshots Online (New Pics)
Helicopter parenting (a parent's over-involvement in their child's life) can be driven by many factors, including societal pressure to ensure academic and extracurricular success, and the rapid evolution of technology that allows for non-stop monitoring and communication.
But it can backfire. In reality, the practice often limits the kid's opportunities to build resilience, learn problem-solving skills, and become independent, placing additional burdens on their shoulders to carry into the future.
To show you how all of this manifests, we put together a collection of posts about parents who can't stop micromanaging their children's lives. Continue scrolling to check them out and don't miss the chat we had with Bored Panda’s parenting expert and award-winning TV broadcaster and author, Vicki Broadbent.
This post may include affiliate links.
Man Elegantly Destroys Helicopter Parent
I don't see this one as helicopter parenting. My mom had sexual assault attempt (luckily she screamed and woke up the whole house) when she was a kid during a sleep overs at a friend's house. She got so traumatised that sleepovers were a big NO. I also complained a lot about it as a kid, but as an adult I don't see it as a big deal now. I understand my mother. She wasn't a helicopter parent btw. She always let me stayed until late at my friends but just never let me stay over. One of my parents always picked me up.
I Synced My Calendar With My Mum And Forgot I Have My Birth Control Implant Replacement Date Marked 3 Years From Now. She Saw It And Texted Me This While I Was At Work. I’m 20
I am still curious why she was looking 3 years into the future.
"I think parents often forget that they were once children themselves or perhaps they distinctly remember those times and that's why they are so set on micromanaging their children," Vicki Broadbent, the woman behind the family lifestyle blog Honest Mum and author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), told Bored Panda.
"It's normal to want to mollycoddle your kids and protect them but just as we did, they too, must learn from their mistakes. Our job as parents is to try and ensure the mistakes are not severe or potentially dangerous."
Broadbent said that everything starts with clear communication, guidance, and advice because sooner or later, "there will come a point when the kids must simply have to experience life and learn from it."
According to her, things like walking home from school on their own or staying away for a few nights will allow them to grow.
There Is A Shooter Somewhere On Campus But My Mom Is More Concerned With Me Missing My Lab Practical
Ladies And Gentlemen, My Mother After I Disabled Tracking Location App On My Phone, I Am 21 Years Old
"Each child is an individual, of course, and what is right for one will not be for another: most will only learn independence through trial and error," Vicki Broadbent added.
"You as a parent must be there to cushion their falls but most children will and should experience adversity in some way in order to learn, be it friendship woes or falling off their bike."
"It is in those times that they learn more about themselves, how best to respond to problems as they arise, and over time, therein lies growth, resilience, and maturity," the mother of three explained.
I’ve Been At College For One Day. He Dropped Me Off Yesterday. It’s Orientation Week
So Proud Of Myself
Naturally, these things take time and preparation. "When it came to my own children and they requested walking home from school or taking public transport, for example, I made it clear that they needed to demonstrate more maturity at home to earn greater independence," Broadbent said.
"That meant sticking to chores, remembering school items, becoming more proactive in cooking and cleaning, preparing for tests, and just practicing more autonomous behavior in general," she explained.
"Once they proved themselves to me, taking slow steps to improve over long periods of time, they were allowed more freedom."
If everything works out well, that's when the snowball effect starts. "Once they walked home safely the first few times, they were allowed to do it more frequently," Broadbent said. "It's important to show your children that you do trust them and allow them to live up to that expectation."
"If they fail, you regroup, talk to them calmly, problem-solve and once they've proved themself again, give them another chance. Using apps to track their location when you do allow them that space, will provide you with peace of mind, as would offering them a phone perhaps."
Idk If This Counts As Insane, But Still An Invasion Of Privacy (For Context I Hand My Phone In To My Mum At 8:30 And That Is Why She Had It)
My Mom Thinks If I Take My Dogs Outside To Pee When It’s Dark That I Will Die/Be Murdered/Abducted. 5 Mins Before Sunset I’m Perfectly Safe Though. Note To Add, I’m 25 And Have Lived 400 Miles From Home For 8 Years. Didn’t Take My Dogs Out Until 11:30 So Suck On That Mom
Granted that this is a bit much. You should check sometimes. It's a crazy world out there.
The frustration of the people who made these posts is understandable. Researchers from the University of Virginia discovered that teens who grew up with psychologically controlling parents struggle with relationships and educational achievements even as adults.
"What we found was that kids who had parents who displayed more overcontrolling behavior tended to struggle in tasks that require assertiveness and independence and autonomy throughout development," said Emily Loeb, a postdoctoral researcher who was the lead author of the study.
"So by the time the kids were adults, they were in romantic relationships where there wasn't as much support being given. By 32, they achieved less education relative to those who had less psychological control, and they were less likely to be in a romantic relationship at all by age 32."
They Hid This To See What I Was Eating And Seeing If I Was Up Late. Im 19 Btw
My Sister's Twitter Account.... She's 23yo And My Mom Still Does This
says the mom who grew up in a time where having your phone always on you was not an option.
The results come from a longitudinal study involving 184 young people from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, tracking them from ages 13 to 32.
The study took into account family income, gender (about half the group was male and half female), and a person's grade-point average at the age of 13.
Loeb's team also measured the participants' psychosocial maturity to discern how well they take into account others' perspectives and think about social situations in a nuanced way.
Getting Tracked At 20 By My Antivaxx Conspiracy Theory Mom. Finally Convinced Her To Delete The Tracking App Though
I Need More Opinions. I'm 22 F Living On My Own And My Parents Still Want To Have Control On What I Buy. It Is Not Making Me Any More Frugal When She Yells At Me For Spending Too Much
Nothing Major. She Just Wanted To Know Why I Didn’t Return Her Text That Was Sent 5 Minutes Before The First Call
"We asked people at their schools to rate how much they would want to spend a Saturday night with this particular person," Loeb said.
"We gathered all the readings, and that was a measure of what we call 'sociometric popularity' – so, 'How much do kids just like them and want to spend time with them?'"
The researchers also asked the 13-year-olds about various symptoms of depression.
The researchers filmed the study participants with their closest friends at 13 and had them ask their friends for some support or advice on an issue and studied their meeting.
"We coded the interaction for the amount of support shown [during it]," Loeb said.
I'm 18nb And My Mom Sent Me Out To Get A Table And Chairs For Her. I Was Gone For 20 Mins And Didn't Respond To Her Calls. This Is The Result. I Have To Laugh
I Pity Those With Helicopter Parents
The community college should have a rule that people who aren't enrolled there are not allowed on the premises. Just to prevent nutjob parents like that one from ruining their kids' lives anymore than they already have.
My Lovely Mother
Wth?! This is just plain insane, this woman needs some serious help. Poor kid(s) and the father
The team replicated this scenario with romantic partners when the study participants were 27 years old and again when they were 32.
“We found [problems were going] on in mid-adolescence that helped explain that they were less liked by their peers," Loeb explained. “So fewer people said, 'Yeah, I'd like to spend time with them on a Saturday night.' And they were less mature in terms of balancing perspective and thinking about things in a nuanced way."
I'm 22
Two things: 1. What is taking them to church really gonna do? 2. What's this font text I want it
I’m Going To An Iron Maiden Concert. I’m Also Almost 30
Am I Crazy Or Is This Toxic !? I Am 18 In Highschool And My Mother Threatens Not Sending Me To College If I Don’t Spend Time With Her
I wish my adult daughter would spend more time with me. but I'm not about to extort her in any way, shape, or form for the privilege. Reading these posts just reminds me how amazing my parents were. I was extraordinarily lucky. And I work hard to make sure my daughter and now grandbabies always know they are loved. It saddens my heart to see how many people didn't/don't have that.
There’s A Word For Not Allowing Your Kids To Socialize Outside The Family. Starts With Letter G
Loeb believes these findings are important because people – be they clinicians, parents, or educators – are always seeking the right balance when trying to guide children.
"[I'm] not saying you can’t have rules," Loeb added, "but it’s very important that parents do let kids think for themselves and let them express opinions that are different than [their own]."
While the examples shown in the pictures are extreme, it's clear that independence in our early life makes for a healthier adulthood.
Someone Who I Know Received This From Her Dad. Context In The Comments
She doesn't like being financially dependent on her parents at Uni and so wants to get a loan and a job and supply for herself. She is also about to visit her parents and wants to also see her boyfriend when she is down. They live 6 hours away and it costs £100 for the train and they are both so busy they've only seen eachother once since being at Uni. Her parents won't let her and say that she has to spend the entirety of her reading week with them and is disgusting for wanting to be away from them. This isn't the first time something like this has happened.
Whew, this made my skin crawl. They only want to “support” her so they can control her.
Girlfriend's Mother
The entitlement these people have to their children’s lives is flabbergasting. It’s like they see their children as extensions of themselves that they should have the right to control.
I’m A Turkey Because I Don’t Want To Download An App So My Mom Can Track Me
I Just Have No Words For How Bats**t This Lady Is
Yes Karen, You Are A Helicopter Mom
Vulgarity is everywhere. You're not going to be able to save your precious baby from the world, so either equip them with the skills to handle it, or have a totally dependent child.
Or watch them put as much geographical distance between you and them as they possibly can, to get away from you when they're old enough. My ex-wife's nephew did exactly that. the day after he graduated college. The day he graduated from high school his mother gave him several helicopter toys and was joking about it. When he got to be on his own in college for a little while, and got a little taste of freedom. and when he was graduating realized that was ending and moved over 2,000 miles away with no notice. I was not surprised to see him go.
Load More Replies...Occasionally checking his phone is fine if he's a minor because that's just making sure your kid is safe but homeschooling him because of some of the things his friends say is way to overprotective
The question is if it actually helps. Up to a certain point I do agree that it's okay and it depends a lot on the child. There are plenty of teenagers that are more tech savvy than their parents and failing that, they ask their friends. If they want to hide what they do from their parents then they will often find a way. On the flip side, by checking their phone regularly, you can also be sending them the message that you don't trust them, in which case you may find they stop trusting you.
Load More Replies...That woman is both delusional and has very selective memory. Forget about 14 year olds, the people who swear the most are middle school kids. Every third word is "f**k". Then, by the end of high school, they get it out of their system. I think that it's good that use of some swear words is considered "unacceptable", otherwise middle school kids may get into doing stuff that is actually harmful to get the same feeling of rebellion.
I think it's ok to occasionally check their phones. Some people who disagree are the same ones that would say "the mother should have known'" when a kid shoots up a school or meets up with a predator
This may be way out there, but do parents like this one ever consider having actual conversations with their kids about learning how to communicate, how to make good decisions, how to treat others? That is a parent's responsibility and how do parents like this expect their kids to learn those things?
Wait until she learns about the things they say and do that she doesn't know about.
14 is maybe borderline, but very soon they’re going to need to hand the reins over and let the kid live his own life
My friends (15) mom does the same thing with her and her sisters phones
Most of the people replying here seem to be young and it's natural to see the OP's side, but when I think of siblings' and friends' kids of that age, some have been up to things that could follow them around for years if they get into the wrong hands. It's important to be clear on what the rules are, though - sneaking on either side doesn't help.
Yeah same! The comments better tell her she shouldn't do that
Load More Replies...I introduced my toddler to childish Gambino this morning, is that bad? lol
2nd Post From Karen Infiltration
Text That My Narcissistic Step-Dad Sent His 16 Year Old Daughter (My Sister) The Blanked Out Name Is Me. He Posted This Screenshot On Instagram Bragging About His Great “Parenting Skills”
We used to hang out with some of my wife's co-workers. One of them was a 22 year old female. He father would call every 30 min. for an update on where she is and who she is with with. She wasn't permitted to hang out with us any longer after I refused to take her phone and speak with her father for a third time. He would literally make her pass the phone to all that were with her to prove she wasn't lying. Side note...when she was at work he would drive following her and stay in his car until she went home. Guess who got married and severed all ties with her dad once she learned how odd he was.
Went To Visit My Boyfriend For The Weekend And My Mom Decided To Text Me This While I Was Sleeping, Im An Adult Btw
Ten minutes, TEN minutes. I could have just not had my phone with me while dealing with explosive diarrhea.
I Am 22 Years Old, Living On My Own With My Husband, And My Dad Still Trys To Control What I Do
This Is My Mother Who’s Gone Back To College
These parents all seem to fall into one of a few categories: unmanaged anxiety disorder, narcissistic control freak, or hyper religious. Some are a fun combo of all of them. I was raised by a step father who was the trifecta. It was hell. While there are other more heinous circumstances that have resulted in me never speaking to him, even in the absence of those, his helicopter parenting would have made me go no contact. All of these parents are going to end up with children who hate their guts and want little or nothing to do with them.
I couldn't take it after like number 22... had to bail
Load More Replies...These are the parents who wind up asking, "Why don't my children ever call or visit?" with no sense of self-awareness AT ALL.
A lot of these children should really play the no contact card
Load More Replies...Feel sorry for all these people who have parents that act this way. The worst I had was when I passed my driving test was to call my parents to let them know I got to my destination safely. But I only did that for a couple of weeks if that.
Tbf that's pretty normal when someone is starting out driving. When I was in my 20s I travelled a lot and was on my own for a lot of it and my mom did ask me to shoot her a message when I'd arrived at my next destination so she wouldn't worry. Think that's fairly reasonable, id do the same in their shoes. I certainly never got any hounding messages like some of these poor guys are!
Load More Replies...I always thought my role as a parent was to teach my daughter how to live without me- and if she's an adult it's none of my business unless she tells me.
I was a latchkey kid. My parents didn't care what I did, as long as I didn't get arrested.
I know a 15 yr old who's mother chooses her clothes and lays them out each morning. She's not allowed to take a bus by herself. Not allowed to listen to anything other than secular music and to ensure this she has to listen with CDs on a cd player instead of having an app. She has no independence and goes everywhere with her mother. She's not allowed to be home alone for longer than 1 hr and only if it's necessary. Her mother controls everything about how she looks as well so she wears the same kind of clothes and hairstyle as she has since she was about 6. She also was never allowed to play without supervision when she was younger.
Sorry I meant she's only allowed to listen to classical music like Mozart etc
Load More Replies...Whoever invented that Life360 thing should be sued for violation of privacy!
A friend of ours was talking about this app like it was the best thing ever. Sorry, I don’t need to know where my husband is 24/7. It’s kinda creepy, unless you are taking care of someone with dementia or something.
Load More Replies...Deeply religious parents. No cartoons or shows with magic, witches, wizards, ghosts, violence (90's ninja turtles wss "violent" (but we watched disney????) Fart was a bad word, but at least we could say poop; our cousins had to call needing to poop "guckies". No playing cards because "they can be used for gambling and divination" which we didn't know how to do anyway? my sibling was grounded for a week because she was given a novelty pack of mini playing cards on a school trip. Halloween was considered active spuritual warfare, and we couldn't even participate in halloween activities at school. We blocked out our windows and turned out the lights during trick or treating (they did rent a movie get us candy from the bulk store). Dancing was sexual provication, boys were ONLY ever thinkjng sexual thoughts, so no being alone with them ever. And on. And on.
Dude, I would just block them and cut off all communication. So invasive.
So going 2-3 days without bothering my daughter is bad? I'm supposed to hound her every second of everyday??? NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!! When my daughter calls and asks me what I'm doing I say "Last time I checked you were grown and no longer privy to my whereabouts and doings" Then I get a lecture and we say I Love You
My god here I was early 20s driving 15 hours solo from Ontario Canada to NYC to go to car shows and stay with my American friends and my mom didn’t bat an eye just wanted an “I’m here!” text.
That’s normal parenting. I feel bad for these folks.
Load More Replies...Reading these, I'm glad my mother shunned mobile phones and social media, though I doubt she would have been this "far out" interfering in my adult life.
And then there’s the person who tries to to justify the no sleepovers in the comments. Y’all need to get help with your issues. Just because someone attempted something one time, doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen every time. This person is now carrying that weight of their parent with them through life. Parents need to be way more cognizant of the concepts they implant in their children. It’s totally possible to be safe and happy at the same time.
Most of these are psychological abuse, not just 'helicoptering'.
Some of those parents were certifiable. Please, if you're one of those get psychiatric help for your mental health issues. This is not 'normal' or good for either of you.
My parents weren't narcissistic, religious, or anxious, so I really don't know what the motivation was behind their actions. - my girlfriend and I wanted to go away for the weekend. I wasn't allowed to go unless my friend's sister came along as a chaperone! I told them she was coming but of course she didn't. I was 19. - they found fault with many of my choices until I married someone they liked when I was 33. Then they laid off. As if, now it was someone else's turn to "take care of me" and they could relax.
These parents all seem to fall into one of a few categories: unmanaged anxiety disorder, narcissistic control freak, or hyper religious. Some are a fun combo of all of them. I was raised by a step father who was the trifecta. It was hell. While there are other more heinous circumstances that have resulted in me never speaking to him, even in the absence of those, his helicopter parenting would have made me go no contact. All of these parents are going to end up with children who hate their guts and want little or nothing to do with them.
I couldn't take it after like number 22... had to bail
Load More Replies...These are the parents who wind up asking, "Why don't my children ever call or visit?" with no sense of self-awareness AT ALL.
A lot of these children should really play the no contact card
Load More Replies...Feel sorry for all these people who have parents that act this way. The worst I had was when I passed my driving test was to call my parents to let them know I got to my destination safely. But I only did that for a couple of weeks if that.
Tbf that's pretty normal when someone is starting out driving. When I was in my 20s I travelled a lot and was on my own for a lot of it and my mom did ask me to shoot her a message when I'd arrived at my next destination so she wouldn't worry. Think that's fairly reasonable, id do the same in their shoes. I certainly never got any hounding messages like some of these poor guys are!
Load More Replies...I always thought my role as a parent was to teach my daughter how to live without me- and if she's an adult it's none of my business unless she tells me.
I was a latchkey kid. My parents didn't care what I did, as long as I didn't get arrested.
I know a 15 yr old who's mother chooses her clothes and lays them out each morning. She's not allowed to take a bus by herself. Not allowed to listen to anything other than secular music and to ensure this she has to listen with CDs on a cd player instead of having an app. She has no independence and goes everywhere with her mother. She's not allowed to be home alone for longer than 1 hr and only if it's necessary. Her mother controls everything about how she looks as well so she wears the same kind of clothes and hairstyle as she has since she was about 6. She also was never allowed to play without supervision when she was younger.
Sorry I meant she's only allowed to listen to classical music like Mozart etc
Load More Replies...Whoever invented that Life360 thing should be sued for violation of privacy!
A friend of ours was talking about this app like it was the best thing ever. Sorry, I don’t need to know where my husband is 24/7. It’s kinda creepy, unless you are taking care of someone with dementia or something.
Load More Replies...Deeply religious parents. No cartoons or shows with magic, witches, wizards, ghosts, violence (90's ninja turtles wss "violent" (but we watched disney????) Fart was a bad word, but at least we could say poop; our cousins had to call needing to poop "guckies". No playing cards because "they can be used for gambling and divination" which we didn't know how to do anyway? my sibling was grounded for a week because she was given a novelty pack of mini playing cards on a school trip. Halloween was considered active spuritual warfare, and we couldn't even participate in halloween activities at school. We blocked out our windows and turned out the lights during trick or treating (they did rent a movie get us candy from the bulk store). Dancing was sexual provication, boys were ONLY ever thinkjng sexual thoughts, so no being alone with them ever. And on. And on.
Dude, I would just block them and cut off all communication. So invasive.
So going 2-3 days without bothering my daughter is bad? I'm supposed to hound her every second of everyday??? NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!! When my daughter calls and asks me what I'm doing I say "Last time I checked you were grown and no longer privy to my whereabouts and doings" Then I get a lecture and we say I Love You
My god here I was early 20s driving 15 hours solo from Ontario Canada to NYC to go to car shows and stay with my American friends and my mom didn’t bat an eye just wanted an “I’m here!” text.
That’s normal parenting. I feel bad for these folks.
Load More Replies...Reading these, I'm glad my mother shunned mobile phones and social media, though I doubt she would have been this "far out" interfering in my adult life.
And then there’s the person who tries to to justify the no sleepovers in the comments. Y’all need to get help with your issues. Just because someone attempted something one time, doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen every time. This person is now carrying that weight of their parent with them through life. Parents need to be way more cognizant of the concepts they implant in their children. It’s totally possible to be safe and happy at the same time.
Most of these are psychological abuse, not just 'helicoptering'.
Some of those parents were certifiable. Please, if you're one of those get psychiatric help for your mental health issues. This is not 'normal' or good for either of you.
My parents weren't narcissistic, religious, or anxious, so I really don't know what the motivation was behind their actions. - my girlfriend and I wanted to go away for the weekend. I wasn't allowed to go unless my friend's sister came along as a chaperone! I told them she was coming but of course she didn't. I was 19. - they found fault with many of my choices until I married someone they liked when I was 33. Then they laid off. As if, now it was someone else's turn to "take care of me" and they could relax.