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Many of us at least partially let go of our initial plans of leading unblemished lives by adopting a somewhat more realistic and adventurous learning-by-doing approach. On the other hand, by sharing the experience with others, we may save one another a great deal of time and effort, especially when it comes to some tricky things to look out for, and these people are sharing exactly this kind of wisdom, answering one Redditor’s question: “People who are 25 Y.O. and above, what’s the harshest life lesson you’ve learned”?
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#1
That life can take a loved one at any time so cherish those you love, make time for family and friends, and tell people you love them often
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#2
You can do everything right and still fail.
Alexandra 12 months ago
True. Hard to accept though, because we are told that we can "do and become whatever we want". No, we can't.
Watercolors That Glow! Debbie Friis-Pettitt 12 months ago
Thanks for pointing this out. I never told my kids this and my friends were horrified.
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Kelly Scott 12 months ago
This is so refreshing to read. I can't tell you how many people criticize others because they can't afford to buy a house or they're homeless or on welfare or food stamps. Some people don't understand that life can hit you straight in the face and keep you down for ages. I hate people acting all smug and telling me that if I had just done what they did, I wouldn't have any problems. People like that think everyone is personally to blame for all their difficulties in life and that's not always the case.
D. Pitbull 12 months ago
YUP... and to rub salt in the wound... if you happen to know people who do everything wrong, treat everyone wrong... and yet... SOMEHOW - they get the big gig, they get the promotion, they get to scapegoat on **you** and everyone believes them, no questions asked.
#3
If your employer is doing something illegal or unethical and you decide to confront them about it, for f***s sake, do it in a way that all communication will leave a paper trail.
#4
My grandfather told me when I was younger, "some people are just born evil and sometimes it's impossible to see them coming." He was right.
#5
You can't make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don't appreciate.
…still chewing on this one.
#6
Many people in "leadership" positions are anything but leaders.
#7
It *looks* like other people are blessed with motivation and self-discipline and make stuff happen. If you sit and around long enough, the angel of self-discipline will float to you and bless you with the desire to do healthy, productive stuff that will benefit you in the short, mid, long term.
False.
You have to get off your couch and do what you don't feel like doing right now. That's the lesson I had to learn.
#10
Your health can evaporate quickly
The Doom Song 12 months ago
It's true. A year and a half ago my MIL was great. Now we have terminal cancer and possibly the last christmas with her. Take care of your health
#11
You can have a loving family, great friends, and financial security but still feel isolated and empty.
David Paterson 12 months ago (edited)
It took me a long time to learn that loneliness is a state of mind. It has nothing to do with being alone. I don't know how I did it, but one week in my 30s I had always felt lonely and the next week I didn't, and never have been since. Sort of like I made a conscious decision not to be lonely, and it worked.
#12
There are some truly f****d up people that live and breathe to f**k over other people.
#13
Don't drive when you are sleepy.
I feel asleep driving after working night shift.
I was in a coma for two weeks and partially paralyzed.
After four months in the hospital I was medically retired from the US Army.
Before the accident, I was in great shape and I was running about ten miles per day training for a race.
I have not been able to run since the accident.
Lesson: Don't drive when you are sleepy, you could die or hurt someone else.
FranklySpeaking 12 months ago
Don't drive angry, or depressed, or distracted. Maybe just don't drive.
#14
S**t can go south in a literal heartbeat.
Tucker Cahooter 12 months ago
Like when your house burns down (as in the picture), especially when you have no forewarning. Speaking from personal experience here.
#15
You're going to have regrets. Things you didn't do as well as you could have. Things you didn't earn. Things you did that you didn't mean to do. Things you didn't do that you wanted to do.
Don't waste the present dwelling on the past. Use the regrets as lessons to change your decisions.
Apatheist Account2 12 months ago
My philosophy is: if you make a decision, and you think it's the right decision at the time based on all the available information, then it stays the right decision, even if things don't work out how you'd hoped. You should only regret the actions that you knew were wrong *at the time* - such as smoking when pregnant.
#16
Take care of your f*****g teeth. Nobody told me that fillings eventually have to be replaced and you’ll be paying for that cavity again in 10 years, and then again after another 10 years, and so on.
Edit: this is not the harshest life lesson I’ve ever learned but it is potentially the most expensive.
#17
This is for the people pleasers like myself.
You can bend over backwards for everyone, be a doormat, make it your life goal to avoid confrontation, and you're still going to end up being the super villain in someone's story by the time you hit 30.
You're writing your own story. Set your boundaries and realize no girlguy, vice, or amount of money is worth compromising them.
#19
You generally have to first make a mistake in order to avoid making it in the future.
#20
Your friends from highschool or college will disappear if you dont make the effort to stay in touch
Apatheist Account2 12 months ago
Sometimes, one has to ditch old friends in order to move on. I know I'd remain single if I stayed with the same group. It took a while, but I did eventually meet the love of my life, and we've been together 24 years. It wouldn't have happened if I had carried on in the same group.
#21
Growing up in the 90's and listening to a lot of rap, I was under the impression that being a "thug" and getting into trouble a lot was cool, so my suburban a*s, along with all my friends, emulated that lifestyle. When I was 20 one of us got murdered. Suddenly it wasn't so cool anymore.
#22
Hoping and wishing doesn't make things change. Making different decisions and working hard does.
#23
You can be really happy one moment, and then super sad in the next. It’s important to appreciate each of these things for what they are. You won’t be happy forever, you won’t be sad forever
CryingChildKinnie 12 months ago
I swear sometimes I"ll feel like a disney character about to burst with joy and then an hour later I'm sad enough to want to off myself
#24
Do not lie to your significant other. Have hard conversations and trust them enough to be able to have them with you. Give them the chance and don’t be afraid/avoid doing it it in fear of rejection or judgement. I learned that one the hard way unfortunately.
JB 12 months ago
The corollary to this is, sometimes, you will discover you can’t have the hard conversations. They will become defensive, reject your perspective and turn it all around as a judgement against you. When this happens, ask (calmly if you can) to work on it together because you have a right to your opinion, feelings and even forgiveness if you messed up (cheating is not messing up, it’s scorched earth destruction). You should be able to trust them to be respectful and open to discussion. If they aren’t willing to work with you, even to the point of couples therapy when it’s clearly necessary, take a hard look at the whole relationship and decide how long you are willing to struggle to “make it work”. Far too many people, myself included, waste years of life fighting for a relationship that is dysfunctional; never going to make either of you feel complete. It’s far better to split up when you still have some respect for each other than waiting until you can’t stand the sight of them.
#25
I should have tried harder in college and worked with a goal in mind.
Erik Rydbom 12 months ago
I went through years of useless classes until I finally figured out that engineering was my calling. I never would have thought that growing up a punk skater kid.
#26
Do not stay in one job for more than a few years unless you are being promoted appropriately and given raises appropriately.
JB 12 months ago
Do NOT expect these appropriate promotions and raises to be simply handed out because you’re good at your job. Continue your education, take classes, get certifications or diplomas. Know where you want to be in 1-2 years; the five-year plan is great but far too apt to be disrupted by life. Know your worth! PLEASE, do an annual check of what new hires are being offered for roles like yours; if it’s significantly higher, then there is VALUE in your experience. Sure, you can be replaced but there’s rarely harm in pointing out your replacement will cost money to find, then they will need to be trained, then it will still take time for them to gain the experience you already have. It will ALWAYS cost your employer more to replace you than to give you a raise (unless you’re really bad at your job).
#27
Living life costs so much money
#28
That your co workers/managers are not your friends. They are nice to you in person, but when you're not there they talk about you. This is coming from experience.
#29
I'm 35 and the harshest lesson I learned is that life sucks sometimes. You think you have everything figured out, but then something bad happens and throws your whole plan off track. It's important to be flexible and not take things for granted cause s**t can hit the fan real quick, yo.
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 11 months ago
It is better to have no plan but be able to improvise than to have it is to have a perfect plan but be unable to improvise.
#30
People don't really attract like-minded people. If you're a normal person, you think along the lines of the golden rule. But I'll tell you this... there's gonna be *someone* you consider to be a friend who's going to not only disappoint you, they're going to hurt you, and they're not even going to value your friendship enough that they care to rectify that. Hell, they might even enjoy it.
What do you think ?
12 months ago
Don't put yourself in the position of depending on someone else's income. You'll be screwed when you need to leave that relationship.
Papa 12 months ago
How about "if" you need to leave instead of "when"? Not all relationships end poorly.
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Flora Porter 12 months ago
From my 50s, I would say the biggest life lesson, which not everyone learns (and I still struggle with), is that you are responsible for your own feelings: they're things you do, and you can and should learn to manage and sometimes question and change them. Doesn't make you responsible for things other people did or said that hurt you. Just means that as an adult, you're in charge of your life now.
Scott Johnson 12 months ago
This one may get downvoted because of today's work culture, but it still holds true... Do more work and you might get promoted. Don't wait to get promoted to do more work. No one is going to promote you until you show them you can do more. I often hear people say I'll do more work when they promote me. This is not going to happen. That mindset has it backwards. A promotion comes after, not before. For some reason there are people that just don't get this basic work principle.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 12 months ago
My general thoughts on this list are,no shįt Sherlock!
Uncle Schmickle 11 months ago
The only person who can change your life for the better .... is you.
Kevin J. Henning 12 months ago
I keep reading the same harsh lessons in these posts. Any new ones surfacing these days?
12 months ago
Don't put yourself in the position of depending on someone else's income. You'll be screwed when you need to leave that relationship.
Papa 12 months ago
How about "if" you need to leave instead of "when"? Not all relationships end poorly.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 12 months ago
From my 50s, I would say the biggest life lesson, which not everyone learns (and I still struggle with), is that you are responsible for your own feelings: they're things you do, and you can and should learn to manage and sometimes question and change them. Doesn't make you responsible for things other people did or said that hurt you. Just means that as an adult, you're in charge of your life now.
Scott Johnson 12 months ago
This one may get downvoted because of today's work culture, but it still holds true... Do more work and you might get promoted. Don't wait to get promoted to do more work. No one is going to promote you until you show them you can do more. I often hear people say I'll do more work when they promote me. This is not going to happen. That mindset has it backwards. A promotion comes after, not before. For some reason there are people that just don't get this basic work principle.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 12 months ago
My general thoughts on this list are,no shįt Sherlock!
Uncle Schmickle 11 months ago
The only person who can change your life for the better .... is you.
Kevin J. Henning 12 months ago
I keep reading the same harsh lessons in these posts. Any new ones surfacing these days?
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