Or a family member.

Yep. The very worst thing you can do to fix a relationship is to have kids. Think you're arguing a lot now? Think again.

So much this

Spread the word. Your ominous silence may look powerful to you, but in fact it's annoying. If you got something to say, say it. Don't expect other people to read your mind.

I agree with this partially... sometimes having a partner means you don't have to deal with all your emotional s**t. Half the reason we go to therapy is just to talk, not get advice but to get things off your chest, and good partners do that for each other

Even more so when you have kids.

Especially when they decided to stop trusting you for something you really didn't do, but they firmly believe you did. Been there. It's as bizarre as it sounds.

I agree, I know I can be, especially since I have anger problems and am a reactive person. I am working on it.

My narcissistic husband doesn't seem to understand this concept. He tells me it's not abuse unless he personally intended it to be and then claims he never meant to physically attack me so therefore it isn't abuse. (for the busy bodies: yes I am divorcing him, no it's none of your business as to why I stayed so long)

People need to talk about this more and share when they feel they are on the receiving end of abuse, cause a lot of it is just unhealthy behaviour learned from family, but it takes a lot of trust and courage to do it. I hope we all find it, especially those who need it.

I called off a relationship as I hated who I turned into when I was with him. I'd be verbally abusive towards him and his reaction made me worse more angry. I've learned to live without a relationship as I seem to end up in a very bad place every time I'm in one. So to protect the other person I don't bother with romantic relationships.

Exactly. Having time apart is healthy for a relationship.

If you have to control them and make sure they don't cheat.... find someone else. Or accept an open relationship and quit calling it cheating. Loyalty is implied, not optional, unless otherwise discussed. If the relationship stops working, then maybe grow up a little and accept its end before either of you reaches the cheating part.

You will never find that perfect partner that does nothing annoying. I have behaviours and quirks that are annoying to my hubby and vice versa.

I think someone confused love with passion/desire.

And remember - it has to be mutual.

Yup I stayed with narcissistic ex way past that relationship's expiration date.

I don't see how this is a hard truth. It's simply the truth. We all need help sometimes, and we need to lean on someone. Sometimes it's good to be given that trust to support someone.

Yes

This might be the hardest truth. If the feeling isn't there, it isn't there, no matter how good of a person you both are.

My ex-boyfriend and I fell out of love with one another. It was certainly no picnic when the resentment started to build up.

I still have times where I get all fluttery when I look at my hubby.

Neither is verbal or emotional abuse.

In my case, he's even better now, than I could ever imagine. I would've never picked someone like him.

AMEN

Communication IS the key to comprehension though. The whole "oh you wouldn't understand" trope has probably broken more relationships than we can count.

This is so true. I always said i would never date a short guy.. After 4 years of getting played by what i though my ''type'' was I finally found someone that appreciates me and guess what his average height. Sometime we miss out on something amazing because of our own prejudices.

If anything relationships are going to make managing a mental illness more complicated. Yes you have added support now, but you also have added stress.

This is 100% true.

And it's how the screw-ups are dealt with that's important. You can learn a lot about someone by how they act in the difficult times.

I was right person, wrong time with my partner. We met like 7 years before we reconnected and started dating.