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People Reveal 39 Professions That Would Be Dealbreakers In A Potential Partner
Interview With Expert
In a way, choosing a partner is like picking a new TV show—usually, you have to invest at least a few evenings to make sure it's worth the binge. But sometimes, you can tell from the tagline alone that it's not for you.
To explore the topic further, Reddit user Stupidis_Stupidoes invited everyone on the platform to list the professions that would keep them from dating someone.
Whether it's due to differences in values or incompatible lifestyles, continue scrolling to check out the listed careers, and don't miss the chat we had on relationships with Dr. Holly Schiff—you will find it between the submissions.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Any kind of influencer if you can even call that a profession.
RELATED:
#2
Anything church related.
Bernd Herbert 1 week ago
"Distrust those who say that God is on their side. They are only so close to their God, because they are so far away from man."
To learn more about deal breakers in possible partners, we got in touch with Holly Schiff, Psy.D., who is a licensed clinical psychologist in Connecticut, New York, and Rhode Island, as well as a registered telehealth psychologist in Florida.
"I would define a red flag in dating as anything that signals a potential problem in a relationship," she told Bored Panda. "This can be a behavior, trait, or a sign that indicates something may become unhealthy, toxic, unsafe, or incompatible in the long term. Red flags usually point to something that may cause us harm physically, emotionally or mentally.
"Of course, not every red flag automatically means a relationship will fail or that you should end things with that person, but ignoring them can definitely lead to significant challenges, or even potential danger down the line," Schiff explained.
#3
I hate saying it but police officers. 90% are attracted to the job for power reasons and I tend to not like their personalities. .
Nikole 1 week ago
That, and the stress that affects their families. And the substance abuse. And the mental instability.
Sand Ers 1 week ago
And the domestic violence that is ignored because it's their cow-orkers who would have to arrest them.
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keyboardtek 6 days ago
The two people I knew who became police officers were bullies in their youth.
person (i think) 6 days ago
I wonder if this is as much the case in places like the UK where police officers have to go through much longer and more extensive training? And or in places where officers do not carry guns? (I am genuinely wondering)
David 6 days ago
I would say 90% of them do it because they want to help. I know many cops, and they are all people who want to help their communities. There are the power hungry ones, but they are a minority. 10% of cops are 90% of the compaints, so they seem to be more out there than there are. We just need to get rid of those bad ones, rather than protect them
Do-nut touch da donut 5 days ago
Ty, not all cops are bad the news just showcase the bad a whole lot more than the good because it gets them more views and gets a reaction out of the public
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 6 days ago
Can confirm. Divorced one who was *just* a campus cop, but the Glock he carried was very real. I refused to be controlled, and the fight was on. Nothing was ever good or good enough, so I stopped trying. Washed my clothes and dishes, cleaned up my mess, and we lived as roommates. Back in the 90s, words like ace and aro weren't known, but he gave me s*x three times in three years, and nothing I did made a difference. That's not a marriage AT ALL. He seemed to relax when I stopped trying to get any affection. Of course I divorced him not long after. I wish him well, somewhere very far away from me forever. Cops are some of the most unhinged, authoritarian, controlling people ever. Hard pass FOREVER.
katiekat0214 6 days ago
I should also add, he never called it "our" house, just his house, so fine, buddy, you clean your house then. I have to add, it was a rental house, so that adds a layer of surreal hilarity to it all. He kept his house tidy before I came along, too, so he practiced weaponized incompetence in foisting all the housework onto me, without a discussion. He wouldn't talk, wouldn't touch, and shut down regularly.
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#4
No politicians, period.
Child of the Stars 1 week ago
My ex-husband once asked me if I would vote for him if he decided to run for a local office. He didn't like that my answer was "if I agreed with your platform."
Schiff said that, generally speaking, the weight you place on a potential partner's job should depend upon the context of the relationship and the values you and the other person have.
"While a job isn't necessarily a red flag, it can play a role in compatibility based on lifestyle, values, or interests," the psychologist explained.
"If someone has a job where they need to travel a lot, this may not be a good fit or match for someone looking to maintain a close connection and spend quality time together."
#6
Any job requiring high pressure sales. Those jobs attract a certain type of person I don’t like.
keyboardtek 6 days ago
Sales people are always on sales pitch mode. Even at social gatherings they are pushing the latest thing they are trying to sell.
#7
Any profession that makes them a celebrity. I thoroughly enjoy not being in any spotlight.
#8
As someone who’s bartended for ages, bartenders are very hard to date. Getting off work as late as 4 a.m., the culture, it’s hard to find someone outside the industry who can put up with it, and equally hard to find someone within who you can be healthy with.
ConstantlyJon 6 days ago
Yes absolutely. My wife used to be in the industry, and that's probably all that helps her put up with it now.
However, as with many things in life, there's often more than meets the eye.
"People can also be the exception to rule in certain jobs or professions, so it is also important to not stereotype and paint with a broad brush," Schiff said.
"We can't make assumptions based purely on their profession. How do they manage their work-life balance? Do they value the relationship? Does their profession align with your values, lifestyle, and long-term goals? If not, it may signal potential challenges, but of course, a person's job should be weighed alongside other factors."
#9
Any fake profession - chiropractors, televangelists, mlm,
Also police.
#11
Military. I graduated high school 2003 and saw tons of my friends deployed and friend’s significant others be deployed and couldn’t imagine the stress. Also not having control over your life and where you live.
keyboardtek 6 days ago
And many come back from war permanently damaged either physically of mentally.
Similarly, we can take issue with more than just someone's occupation. A survey by Change Research discovered that women's biggest red flag when looking for a relationship is a date revealing they’re a MAGA Republican, with 76% of women saying it’s a major turnoff. The second biggest red flag for women is people who "have no hobbies" (66%), and the third is those who say, "All Lives Matter" (60%).
When it comes to men between the ages of 18 and 34, the biggest turn-off is people who identify as communist (64%), but they also have a problem with those who have no hobbies (60%), as well as MAGA Republicans (59%).
Also, half of men, 53%, say they want a relationship, according to a 2024 Tinder report, and a whopping 68% of women say the same. However, almost all respondents—91% of men and 94% of women—say dating is difficult. To help each other, we should be able to see not just the minuses but the pluses as well.
#12
"Influncer"
"OnlyFans content creator"
"Social media manager/creator/liaison"
"Reddit/Discord moderator"
"Sugar baby".
#14
Self-help/motivational guru probably or any other charlatan/snake oil type of profession because it means we will have many conflicts and incompatibilities over science.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 week ago
So I should stop paying my life coach $2K/mo to validate & confirm me? /s
#15
A lawyer. I was raised by two of them. I've worked with and known several in my extended social circle.
Every single one I've met has never been able to turn it off and I'd prefer not to be examined and cross-examined on a date.
Tyranamar Suess 4 days ago
A defense attorney tried to interrogate me once on a date. Very weird.
"I think that both red flags and green flags are important in dating, but in different ways," Schiff added.
"Red flags serve as warning signs, to help us avoid potentially harmful, painful, or incompatible relationships. Spot these early on to protect yourself from an unhealthy dynamic or partnership.
"However, green flags represent positive qualities and can guide your choice to move forward in pursuing a relationship with someone. It is critical to be aware of red flags, but I feel like it is equally important to focus on the green flags," the psychologist said.
"These are signals that show a person has the qualities that make for a healthy, successful, and compatible relationship. Ideally, we look for a balance — red flags are indications of where things could go wrong, but green flags highlight for us where the potential for something good and positive exists," she reiterated.
Scrolling through lists such as this one, it can start to seem like virtually everyone can have red flags placed on them. But that's the point. We are all different and so are our preferences. Ultimately, we have to listen to our own instincts and values to find lasting love.
#16
No matter the profession, someone who's job would require to travel a lot, like far abroad and for longer periods, would definitely not be my preference and probably a show stopper.
Child of the Stars 1 week ago
This would depend on the personalities of the couple, I would imagine. If, for example, the traveler is an extrovert and their partner is an introvert, it could work. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is a saying for a reason.
#17
Any job that:
1. required them to be away for months at a time or extensive travel
2. Any job that had really unstable income month-to-month.
my g/f's job right now is perfect: she works 4 days a week, 10 hours a day, always the same start/stop time, every friday/sat/sun is off. It makes planning stuff super easy.
Sami Smolwing 6 days ago
This is my work schedule! It's the best, especially if you have a family. I do it second shift, so I'm dying from lack of sleep Mon thru Thurs, but I still get to have breakfast with my son and take him to school every day, and have family time on the weekend. Totally worth it.
#18
Pilot. Worked for an airline once upon a time and not one of those f*****s was faithful to his wife. And more than one had a 'mistress' in an Asian country. Filthy bastards they were.
#19
School teacher. It’s just changed too much and they carry such a heavy burden all the time. I’m not sure when the switch happened from Teachers/Parents as a partnership to Teachers VS Parents, but that is in the top 5 of worst things ever. My mom saw it coming and I’m glad both of my parents got out of teaching with their mental health, physical health, and reputations intact.
Teachers today seem like they are in a no win situation.
katiekat0214 6 days ago
Retired teacher here, got out when the pandemic hit like a lot of 50+ people. One of my best friends is a teacher, and even in a small town with a very small school district, the amount of work she has to do is unbelievable. She's counting the years until she can retire, and although she and I know she is doing such good work, and making a difference, and administration, colleagues, parents, and students adore her, I never see her. We live about 45 minutes from each other, and I may see her once or twice a year these days. I've known her since 1978! She's tired all the time, has entirely too much prep work, and she puts her all into it. I adore her, and I miss her. And I'm so, so glad I don't have to do an active shooter drill. It terrifies me just thinking of it, and hurts my heart that she is out there in danger every day. My heart and 1,000% support and love to all teachers.
#20
Physician. I dated a surgeon for 3 years in my 20s. Terrible hours, so much drama, so much ego. Nurses throwing themselves at him every day. I later went to nursing school myself and have never, ever been tempted to date a doctor.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 week ago
Married to an EP Cardiologist & thoracic surgeon. He never gets hit on because he always tells stories about his family, our son & me, his husband. Clinic-wise, cardiologists lean towards altruism, whereas surgeons tend to have ego issues and god complexes. But they tend to age out of both.
#21
Dangerous professions or professions that keep them away from the home for awhile (military, firefighter, cop, etc).
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 6 days ago
My husband was a forest firefighter, and it is definitely difficult to be the spouse to someone with such a dangerous job who is gone for months.
#24
I’m a massage therapist, one of my friends (also massage therapist) started seeing a guy and he said he wasn’t sure he was totally comfortable with her doing massage and would she consider finding another job?
And that was the end of that budding romance.
Farnzy 1 week ago (edited)
I hope she ended that relationship. There's a lot of unfortunate misconceptions about massage therapy, and starting a relationship with someone who thinks you work in the sex trade when you're a medical professional is...not great. If I'm a massage therapist who tells you I'm legit and you don't trust me...that's a deal breaker, ladies
#25
Realtor.
Donkey boi 6 days ago
I dated an estate agent (English for Realtor) years ago. She was really stunning, smart, kind, caring, thoughtful... the perfect woman. We only broke up because her husband found out and decided to introduce himself to me. I didn't even know he existed. We went for a few pints together, and became really good friends.
#26
Litigation lawyer.
#27
F**k clowns. I have a fear of clowns that, while embarrassing to admit, is still something that makes me feel a duty toward other people. Warning them against clowns.
#28
Nurse or doctor. They work very long hours and come home tired.
Chihuahua Mama 6 days ago (edited)
Honestly, as a nurse, I can tell you my husband, who works a regular Monday to Friday, spends more time at work or commuting to and from, than I do. A lot of nurses don't work full time either. I get 5 to 7 days off at a time. But scheduling something with someone who works Monday to Friday can definitely be difficult
#29
I’m a paramedic, so my vote is nurses. Don’t do it.
#32
I'm a little prejudiced against insurance adjusters. I've known a few and they're good people, but if I were dating someone whose profession was the same as people who have made my life a nightmare in the past, it would be a rocky start.
It's probably small-minded of me. But I think of it like DUI attorneys. Someone has to f**k them, but it doesn't have to be someone who was hit by a drunk driver.
Jill Rhodry 1 week ago
Hmmm...I can think of one 'Adjuster' who'd get plenty of dates...once he's free
#33
Assassin.
#35
Crime boss .
#37
My stipulations have always been no flight attendants, yachties, and nurses.
#39
Gondolier.
What do you think ?
MindNumbinglyBoringJob 6 days ago
That list like so many on BP just got dumber and dumber the father down you read.
Rahul Pawa 6 days ago
That's how this site works. The items with the most up votes go to the top, least at the bottom. So yes, when it works correctly the one's at the bottom are going to be dumb. That's also probably why they trim the list after a few days.
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 6 days ago
This is just a list of generalizations based on lived experiences of strangers. So, the internet. But also just have to take it with a grain of salt. We are all individuals. No job should define a person as being a certain way.
whiterabbit 6 days ago
Having a partner that travels for work for weeks at a time isn't that terrible. My BF is gone about 1/4-1/3 of the year and we have a great relationship. I have always enjoyed my alone time and it allows me to focus on the activities I love that he's not necessarily into.
Nils Skirnir 1 week ago
From this it seems as if someone who does good work or hard work for society is a turnoff. No wonder US is such a mess
Disgruntled Panda 1 week ago
It makes sense though to have a preference for someone who prefers you over work? It's not about what is valuable to society or not, it's about who you'd prefer to spend your life and time with
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Edward Shaw 6 days ago
So the careers listed above are worse than I don't know say, dolphin slaughtering, animal testing, rainforest logger, torturer, organ harvesting, people trafficking, dark web pedophiles???
Tyranamar Suess 4 days ago
I used to harvest organs. Well eyeballs actually. Whole globes and just corneas for cornea transplant and scleral patching. Don't think I'm a bad person bc of it. I helped blind people see again. There was also the skin bank. And the bone bank. Donate organs please. People need them.
Load More Replies... MindNumbinglyBoringJob 6 days ago
That list like so many on BP just got dumber and dumber the father down you read.
Rahul Pawa 6 days ago
That's how this site works. The items with the most up votes go to the top, least at the bottom. So yes, when it works correctly the one's at the bottom are going to be dumb. That's also probably why they trim the list after a few days.
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 6 days ago
This is just a list of generalizations based on lived experiences of strangers. So, the internet. But also just have to take it with a grain of salt. We are all individuals. No job should define a person as being a certain way.
whiterabbit 6 days ago
Having a partner that travels for work for weeks at a time isn't that terrible. My BF is gone about 1/4-1/3 of the year and we have a great relationship. I have always enjoyed my alone time and it allows me to focus on the activities I love that he's not necessarily into.
Nils Skirnir 1 week ago
From this it seems as if someone who does good work or hard work for society is a turnoff. No wonder US is such a mess
Disgruntled Panda 1 week ago
It makes sense though to have a preference for someone who prefers you over work? It's not about what is valuable to society or not, it's about who you'd prefer to spend your life and time with
Load More Replies... Edward Shaw 6 days ago
So the careers listed above are worse than I don't know say, dolphin slaughtering, animal testing, rainforest logger, torturer, organ harvesting, people trafficking, dark web pedophiles???
Tyranamar Suess 4 days ago
I used to harvest organs. Well eyeballs actually. Whole globes and just corneas for cornea transplant and scleral patching. Don't think I'm a bad person bc of it. I helped blind people see again. There was also the skin bank. And the bone bank. Donate organs please. People need them.
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